Serious question about anxiety during Aneros use.

My honest opinion is that you're waking up to the fact you need to work on yourself.  You know that you're not doing what's right.  First I'd start by quitting the porn.  It doesn't need to be forever, but you need a time out.  Your wife, and family are more important.  I'd take time off of the aneros as well.  This doesn't mean it's forever.  Also when you get your life back on track, you can enjoy the aneros without guilt.  This will make your sessions even more amazing.

Why do you need to "keep up your arousal"?  Some of my best aneros sessions were the day after sex.  I'm sorry you're struggling but you are here on the board right now because you know you have a problem.  It's so good that you're recognizing it though.  This is a big step in the right direction.  Remember that as fun as the aneros is, it cannot replace what matters most, and that's love, and personal relationships.  

If you have to find a therapist, do it.  

@jja3 thanks for the reply.

I agree about taking time off from porn and aneros. Some times i definitely get consumed by it. more so porn than the aneros.

The reason I wanted to keep my arousal up was for the dry orgasms. Yes, I can have them after ejaculation and, as i found out, during ejaculation too, but i wanted too try a different approach during this “experiment.”

I personally don’t think i need therapy, but i mean talking to someone about your problems isn’t a bad thing. I think the main problem is that i spent so much time consuming, i was neglecting myself. If i hold off on ejaculation and just use aneros or i’m just edging, then i consume more and more porn. If i ejaculate it’s the opposite. I’m not consuming as much. 

It’s definitely an addiction. Maybe i should put more time into other things., but after a few days, i’m craving another aneros session.

I don't believe you have an aneros addiction.  I don't believe there is such a thing.  I believe what you are dealing with is sexual addiction.  It has nothing to do with being aroused.  It's an avenue your mind is taking because of other issues in your life.  It's a lot like drug addiction.  A lot of people get hooked on drugs because they had other issues going on in their lives.  I'm not a doctor, but that's my best guess.  You're using porn/aneros to help you mentally escape other issues.  Or maybe you're just unhappy and trying to find a way to feel better.  Whatever it is you're using this as an escape.

That's why I really suggest you go without porn, and the aneros for a while.  If you feel the need to use the aneros or look at porn, just go rub one out in the shower.  After ejaculation it will help with the temptation.  You should look at this as though you're trying to kick a drug habit.  The best way to do that is to stop using the drug.

maybe take this time to reconnect with your wife.  Do some nice things for her, cuddle with her, see yourself as being happy with her.  Do the little things.  You may just find that you realize that this brings you more real happiness. 

@jja3 i can feel myself trying reconnect with personal things, people and activities in my life so i suppose you are right there. Me and my wife are actually very happy together, but we are struggling financially post covid…

wouldn’t traditional masturbation only stoke the flames? i feel like if i masturbate i’ll just get sucked back into the cycle all over again.

@seekinginerblis96 Hello seeking I’m just following you post.  I agree with jja3 that you should stop watching porn.  I like porn but remember it’s not real. You Seam enjoy using the aneros devices .  Nothing wrong with it. My question is are you hiding the Aneros from your wife? 

If you are maybe you should think about bringing that to the table. She may really like the fact your truthful about it and she would join in on the play. And that would help you with the arousal. Maybe that will help you to not watch as much porn and you can make your own fantasies come to life with you and you’re wife.  Well that was my thoughts good luck.  

Posted by: @seekinginerblis96

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So i was doing a little experiment with my massagers for the last 2 previous weeks. Usually when i’m using Aneros I am masturbating and having dry penile, nipple and anal orgasms, but I wanted too try too use aneros with no penile stimulation too see which of the massagers in my arsenal is actually best for me

Seems a bit much.

Posted by: @seekinginerblis96

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Basically, my plan was to spend a few days with one massager and see how many dry orgasms i could have with just massager and document my sessions and what massager was doing what too me. I also used porn/Hentai for arousal. Personally i think this was the problem, but i still want everyone’s feedback. At this point i was using explicit photos for wallpapers and lock screen too keep up my arousal

It is part the problem,too much porn and too much obsession.

Posted by: @seekinginerblis96

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Fast forward a few sessions and i was experiencing many dry orgasms. I was scared too have sex with my wife because i’d lose this arousal, though at this point she hasn’t asked, so i wasn’t depriving her of sexual needs.

Major red flags here. Scared to have sex with wife so not to screw with aneros session? Bad for you,bad for her. “She didn’t ask for sex,so I wasn’t depriving her”. This is something an addict would tell themselves to ease guilt. The fact you’ve  wrote it tells me you know it’s wrong. She shouldn’t have to ask for sex,the question is,if you’d have told her to drop her knickers,would she have refused? Since the experiment was 2 weeks long,I can only assume she had no dick for 2 weeks,that’s deprivation and she probably noticed it more than you think. 

Posted by: @seekinginerblis96

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I had a session with the syn v, which was the most successful. Personally i think this was the one who broke me and not in a good way. I had 19 dry orgasms, one which last about a minute long, i literally timed it at 48 seconds. After this session, i continued to indulge in porn, but i kinda felt my baseline anxiety build ( i am a new sufferer of panic attacks, i haven’t had one in months and it’s not caused by aneros or porn)

Imo it wasn’t the session that broke you,it was all the porn. The onset of base anxiety was probably the brain scrambling to turn off a bunch of neuro transmitters that you’ve flogged relentlessly.

Posted by: @seekinginerblis96

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After a quick nap i was hit with post nut clarity. I spent the last few weeks doing this experiment and i’ve been consuming so much porn.  also, i train mma and haven’t been able too. I have another kid on the way and i’ve been driving without a license so i’m trying too finally get that. so not being a lot too train has also built some of that anxiety pay ejaculation.

Dude,it’s the porn,it always has been. Ejaculation doesn’t cause anxiety,if anything it relieves it. But with the hormone cycle reset it causes,that’s why you’ll use less porn. Rumel put links up one time about porn addiction and the sites that deal with it. I read a few stories on it. Many men report anxiety,depression,no motivation when they’re in the grip of porn. You’d make time for training otherwise. Getting caught driving with no license is gonna add a ton of shit to your life,stop.

Many guys have reported aneros and porn addiction over the years. They are real. Kicking porn would be a great start. So is seeing a therapist. You may also need to throw some man up at all this and wrestle back control of things. Thing are out of control,clearly. Maybe put the aneros away for a bit and have sex for a while. 

Good luck anyways,keep us posted about how you’re getting on. 

@newtoy No i’m not hiding anything from my wife, she is well aware of my aneros usage and sometimes even pegs me.

@helghast i was a bit unclear with a lot of things in my post, which is not a problem, so i’ll try too clear somethings up.

i agree with about it being too much and obsessive. I’ve been dealing with porn usage for a while and have been trying too fix that.

When it comes to sex with the Mrs., it wasn’t that i didn’t ask her. She’s preganant and going through some rough patches with the pregnancy. Her Braxton hicks have been making her nauseous so i’ve been staying home helping around the house to make things easier on her (one of the reasons i haven’t been able to train as much.) We also have a 3 year old so sex isn’t something that’s easy for us to come by at the moment, plus i work night shift.

About me driving without a license…my wife is always with me, she’s licensed and i have my permit. I made that sound worse in the post by accident and i’m sorry for that.

YES i agree about the porn. I am trying to stop. When i’m training my porn consumption is WAAAAAAY less.

I don’t mean to sound like i’m disregarding what you said, just clearing somethings up. I know i can do better, i just wanted constructive feedback which i have gotten and which i am very thankful.

Thank you.

@seekinginerblis96 that fantastic! Sounds like you have a woman that’s all in.  Get rid of the porn or enjoy it together and play.  !

@seekinginerblis96 

No worries mate. I just answered what I read is all. Things are much clearer. Still aneros and porn addiction though. You’ll need to employ discipline to get things under control. It’s not that abnormal. I’m sure plenty of men have chased after it hell for leather.

recommend cutting porn and just do Binaural Beats or Binaural Beats with moaning. Close your eyes and relax

Posted by: @seekinginerblis96

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@newtoy No i’m not hiding anything from my wife, she is well aware of my aneros usage and sometimes even pegs me.

I'm really glad to hear this.  My previous comments were based on I thought you were keeping it hush hush.  I'm also glad to hear your marriage is doing good.  So to me it really just sounds like you might want to put the porn away for a while.  

@jja3 yeah my thoughts exactly on the porn. If i could, I’d put it away for good but it’s hard when i get cravings.

@jbingo68 binaural beats might be my next move after this time out, but a timeout from all of it is definitely needed til i’m back on track in life. Do you have any binaural beats you can suggest?

Posted by: @seekinginerblis96

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@jja3 yeah my thoughts exactly on the porn. If i could, I’d put it away for good but it’s hard when i get cravings.

You're right, it's very hard; I'm a porn addict and I gave it all up over 6 months ago.  Every day, I feel better and better about myself and I'm realizing how toxic porn was on me.

Good luck.

@ggringo

Its toxic to virtually everyone. Was only meant to ever be enjoyed an odd time in moderation. Unfortunately for a lot of young ppl,it’s their whole sex life and the only sex they’ve ever had. 

@jja3 hmm I’m trying to get my wife to peg me. She says she going to fuck me tomorrow morning . I hope she pegs me. Lol we will see.

@newtoy Good luck!

@ggringo yes, very toxic indeed

@newtoy 

Once you get all trained up,some of the best prostate o’s are had from pegging. Good luck.

@helghast I had a girl friend peg me 18 years ago I fun so hard I shook for an hour.  That was the last time I had a super o.   I liked it then my girl friend was calling me gay. Nothing wrong with gays I’m not gay.  I dumped her. She was a wack job.

@newtoy 

That was was my biggest worry. That my wife would question my sexuality regardless of it being her idea. She didn’t though lol.

Posted by: @helghast

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Unfortunately for a lot of young ppl,it’s their whole sex life and the only sex they’ve ever had. 

This was my situation; only sex I had being in a sexless marriage.  I'm not young though LOL!

@helghast that’s good I think there nothing wrong with a guy having his bum played with.  It’s all connected.

@newtoy 

Of course,but try selling that to the fragile male ego lol. Funny though,men are more than happy to play with her bum. 😉

@helghast I think far is far and women have toys too so why can’t men!

I used to watch porn during prostate sessions because I treated those sessions like "masturbation" and I used porn to jerk off, so "its the same" right?! NOPE. Never once I have used porn for any anal/prostate sessions or stimulation since maybe early 2014 before May 2014 is when I quit porn+Aneros. I have more dry Os than I can count and I've moved into spaces and areas within me that I never could have accessed if I had stuck with porn+Aneros. 

My anxiety as a whole is way reduced since I quit watching porn completely March 2021. I'm almost a month away from 2 years of not using porn for any sexual purposes. I will admit, though, I've relapsed a little the last month or so. My addiction to beautiful women is still strong and I like to look at pictures of hotties! But I don't surf the internet for new material much at all anymore, not even once a month, I just look at old downloaded things.

I had major anxiety during sex before I quit porn. Sweating profusely, heart rate through the roof, scared, worried, fearful. As porn went away, I was calm and powerful in bed again. 

Aneros can be a journey. It took me 10 years to realize and have a dry prostate-centered orgasm. You have them so that's great! I'm not sure why your prostate journey causes you anxiety. Don't focus on it too much, just work Aneros into your normal life. You should start feeling more calm and worry-free soon!

 The main thing is you recognize that this may be a problem. Which puts you at the crossroads. Sounds like your choosing the right path. You may not think of it this way, but your carrying a pretty heavy load. A 3yr old and a pregnant wife , who's not doing so well. Night shift. I feel for you. And the coping mechanism you chose was/is aneros and porn, backfired and added an extra weight. When you look at things in a reasonable way, you also find your purpose, with a wife a 3yr old and working night shift. it makes it easier to do a reset. Moderate the things that need moderating. Sounds like your doing a pretty good job so far, only you know if you could do better. Best of luck to ya.

Hey Seekinginerblis96, it seems like porn triggers it. I was in the same place. I used to use porn to escape my day to day problems and to distract.

By looking at porn daily you raise your base line of dopamine, but it can only last for so long, after this indulgence you will always experience drop bellow base line for a while and emotions from complicated things in life can be amplified a lot.

After my first P-wave I had very strong emotion release and was forced to become aware of the problems I have in life, also was having anxiety before sleep when relaxing. I was thinking that my anxiety is connected to my arousal and prostate, but after a year of pin pointing it was all porn.

I still struggle with porn addiction, but I'm in more mindful consumption. And when I have long sessions including porn I always feel lethargic afterwords.