Am I now Asexual?
 
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Am I now Asexual?


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(@marcustoi)
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First post. I'm a new user here. I've been using aneros products for about a month. Here's where I'm at (full disclosure, please be gentle): 

1. I have no problem achieving soft prostate orgasms, super-Os, or nipple driven prostate Os. I cannot actually ejaculate no matter how hard I try or if I switch to a dildo and ram my prostate. To be clear, I don't care. The super Os are better than anything I've ever experienced and they go on and on. 

2. I can do it without CBD/THC gummies, but when I use them I can achieve multiple Os and the entire session lasts much longer. 

3. When I additionally use poppers (which I have done once), then session is almost terrifying in regards to how hard and long I orgasm. I feel like my asshole is trying to eat whatever I have inserted (aneros device, beads, dildos or fingers). I probably look like I'm possessed or something, but who cares. It's amazing.

4. I have apparently also rewired everything. If I brush my nipples wherever I am, my prostate starts buzzing. If I commit to the process of breathing, contracting/squeezing/pulsing, and nipple play, I can achieve an aless orgasm. Pretty great. 

5. And finally. In the last week, if I rub my nipples when I take a shit I'm going to orgasm. 

Finally, I'm going to tell my wife about this because she needs to know and I want her to dominate and control me while I'm doing this, SAYING THAT...

If I had to choose between sex with another person and just having this, I would choose the latter. The sex I'm having with myself and my prostate is better than anything else I've ever done before. 

So. Two questions: 

1. Do you think I'm on the road to being asexual (because it kind of feels that way)? 

2. Do any of you who have this and play with others find it to be as good as playing along? (And do you have any suggestions for enhancing duo play? Should I ask her to peg me once I get rolling?)

 

Thanks, everyone...

And  Hello!!! 

- Marcus


   
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rumel
(@rumel)
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First, I'd like to welcome you to the Aneros Forum. You have apparently made very rapid progress in a very short time, so congratulations on that. Such results are vey rare so you are probably in the extreme minority when it comes to the learning curve for Aneros use. I would however recommend you avoid the use of 'poppers' for the possible health dangers their use may involve.

Posted by: @marcustoi
I'm going to tell my wife about this because she needs to know and I want her to dominate and control me while I'm doing this,

It is wise to be fully open and honest about this practice with your wife and getting her to be a participant will only make it even better. I would encourage the both of you to read though the threads in the Aneros Women and Couples Corner sub forum.

Posted by: @marcustoi
Do you think I'm on the road to being asexual (because it kind of feels that way)?

Not necessarily, you've only recently discovered these new found abilities and your are probably going through a mental adjustment phase of integrating this into your life. Many of us have seen our life attitudes change as a result of developing these abilities but your core values, desires and actions are not likely to change a lot. Your sexual orientation is not likely to be affected unless your were already suppressing certain latent tendencies. Please see the Aneros WIKI about some of the Psychological issues you may encounter.

Posted by: @marcustoi
Should I ask her to peg me once I get rolling?

If that is something you are desirous of having happen then YES. Pegging is certainly a way for your wife to exert some dominance in your relationship that you seem to want. Please see @Ruby Rider 's websites Pegging: 101 & Pegging Paradise, both are excellent resources for pegging information. You may also want to take a look at the thread Pegging (with hundreds of response/posts this thread can take awhile to load). Needing to approach your Significant Other about pegging ? please have her listen to Ruby Ryder's Podcast #112 For the Ladies and read How to Peg Your Partner.

Good Vibes to You!


   
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Helghast
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Asexual? It’s that people with no sex drive? Don’t you like women?

Talk to wife as soon as. I can’t tell you how it will go as from what you wrote,it sounds like you’ve done all this in secret. Imo not wanting to have sex with her is unhealthy. Work on having prostate o’s while you have sex.

My wife is involved in a big way with my journey,but she has been since early on. I wouldn’t have it any other way. We super o together,play together,screw together,it’s all together. We have a relationship now where she calls the tune. But it suits both of us. She just grew more dominant as we explored my journey,yours has never been involved,and to be honest,domination and control might not be in her. Only communication will make things clear,good luck,let us know how it pans out.


   
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Faith-Manages
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I firmly believe that being open to your wife about your Aneros practice is in the best interest of your relationship.  That said...

Posted by: @marcustoi

If I had to choose between sex with another person and just having this, I would choose the latter. The sex I'm having with myself and my prostate is better than anything else I've ever done before. 

I'm not sure that this particular part is going to be what she'd want to hear, so maybe leave that part out?  I think that it being very new to you you're sort of on this pendulum trajectory and you'll swing back no matter how you might feel in this moment.  I've read many other married men say that Yes, this can be more pleasurable but they'd never trade it for the intimacy they feel from having sex with their wives.  I think this might be an important point to stress to her when talking about your Aneros practice...but maybe you have to get there first? 

If sex is like a big salad with all these different ingredients, I want to think of Aneros practice as the dressing.  Once you discover you've been eating salad without dressing all these years, of course all you're going to be focused on for a while is the different flavor you're now tasting.  I wouldn't want to go back to eat a salad without that dressing.  But I can't say that I'd ever want to just drink salad dressing by itself either! 

The good news is that I don't see that anyone should have to make that choice, so why even go there?  I hope your wife will be a willing participant in prostate play with you!  It's having the salad and the dressing together is what can really enrich the experience.  


   
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(@techpump)
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yah don't tell your lady that you just need sex with yourself and no one else!!

Get her involved. You have no idea how hard you will cum when she's touching you and with you during a prostate session. Or, any kind of play and sex you two do together, while you have Aneros in you, it will drive you to orgasms and sensations you never felt alone. Just when I think I've plateaued when I'm alone, I engage in like 30% of what I normally do alone with my wife and its like 150% better than when I do that alone!!! Just a few nights ago I had an Aneros in me and my wife was giving me head and a handjob and it took a bit longer for me to cum than I normally spend when alone (I was going for a Super T with my wife) and I was literally in a different reality as she stroked me, the toy was "not there" anymore and I forgot it was in me until my Super T hit, and it was just the most powerful, insanely mind-splitting O I've had in weeks!!! Just wild other-level type of power behind my Super T. I could not move for minutes afterward, the cum was all over me I didn't care lol

Please get your wife to start out slowly with you. Pegging can come, just let her get used to how you respond and act while under prostate/anal pleasure. This takes time, make it last with her. Couples get bored and run out of ideas for sex mainly because I think they hit the new idea with gusto and do it all right away and then its "old news" and they don't keep at it because the fun of discovery is spent up and over. Make pegging something fun to work up to. Make her pegging you be a "goal" that you both work towards and you both can't wait for it: you can't wait for her to fuck you, and she can't wait to fuck you. 

Its going to be very fun for you! Just get over the "asexual" business. You wouldn't have met her if you were asexual...


   
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(@rockwellcollinshf2050)
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Well there are a lot of unknowns here.  First - we have no idea how old you or your wife are [for privacy you could give an age range - such as 30s, 60s etc.].  Some of the other posters are assuming that you and your wife are relatively young, that she likes sex etc.  That may be accurate.

But maybe you are older and in a sexless marriage.  Or maybe one [or both of you] WANT to be in a sexless marriage.

My wife and I are in a sexless marriage.  She considers herself asexual - yet she does masturbate solo.  Some asexuals are fine with masturbating in private - they just don't want sex with another person.

My guess is that you want to give up being an active penetrative partner.  If you still want her involvement in some way while you receive pleasure, I'd say you are not asexual.  You giving up being an active penetrative partner may be either a bad thing or a good thing.

 


   
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Zentai
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Posted by: @marcustoi

1. Do you think I'm on the road to being asexual (because it kind of feels that way)? 

I think your sexuality is shifting towards something different, but maybe asexual is not the right choice of words. I remember writing about becoming solo-sexual or Anerosexual a while ago, so I get what you mean. In that post I talked about the fact that now, sex with a woman who is not multi-orgasmic herself would probably not work. I read about the "orgasm gap"   and this would be a very magnified manifestation of this in some way. A relationship with a woman who would not be all-in on Super-O research and prostate play would not work either. I think back then I said I would give up Super-Os for a loving relationship, but looking back, I don't think I was 100% honest there, and anyway, this is not how real-life works... 

Your situation is a bit different because you're already in a relationship, and the relationship happened before the Super-Os. Obviously, the first step would be telling your wife about what you just discovered. Since you've only been at it for a month, it will be easier to explain why you were, ahem, discrete about it, but the longer you wait, the more it will appear like you were actually hiding something.

 


   
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Helghast
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Dudes,prostate massage doesn’t alter sexuality imo. You’re simply addicted to it. The journey does come with some responsibility and real danger of severing human to human connections. It’s been posted before. Anyone remember frekans’ post? His wife was cracking up because he wouldn’t bang her so it wouldn’t interfere with his aneros play.

@Zentai, I think you think that because you’re single. I think you’d feel different if you entered into a relationship. 


   
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Zentai
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Posted by: @helghast

Dudes,prostate massage doesn’t alter sexuality imo. You’re simply addicted to it. The journey does come with some responsibility and real danger of severing human to human connections. It’s been posted before.

Prostate massage won't make a straight man bi or gay, I agree. And there's also addiction potential, and this will depend on how powerful a guy's S-O are, relative to what he gets from sex. If the S-O sessions are 1000X better than sex, then I would not be surprised if a man's wants and desires shifted more to solo sessions. That's why I would say that if their partner has no interest in participating, then yes, that would lead to a loss of connection. 

Posted by: @helghast

@Zentai, I think you think that because you’re single. I think you’d feel different if you entered into a relationship. 

Let's say you're single, you meet a woman, but she does not want you to go to the gym anymore. What do you do ? 


   
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@zentai simply if you friend doesn’t want go to the gym anymore. Time find new games to play. Something in common.

 


   
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Helghast
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Posted by: @zentai

Let's say you're single, you meet a woman, but she does not want you to go to the gym.

These aren’t comparable,so we’re now saying the woman doesn’t want you to be on the journey? I think most women would be happy with a guys getting off lots of times and big time with them. A few guys here seem to be in dead relationships never mind dead bedrooms. Doesn’t matter what the score is or who you are,you’re supposed to be with someone compatible. How can you say you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship because of the super o power,don’t you think that’s a bit unhealthy?

 


   
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Zentai
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@newtoy 

I was yanking Helghast's chain a bit here, I'll wait for his answer but I think this one would be non-negotiable for him, because nothing stands between this guy and his training. For some others, it would be other things, like if you meet someone who's allergic to dogs and you need to decide between your new girl and your pet. Some people have bobbies hobbies that are very central to their life, hiking, biking, climbing, hunting, hanging out with buddies, working on cars, etc. 

For me, prostate play and super-O seeking would be very close to non-negotiable, I've said before that at this point I'd be looking more at a research assistant than a girlfriend, but I'm a bit of a special case. I can understand how Super-Os could have an effect on some guy's priorities in life, and sometimes that could spell trouble. 


   
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@zentai yes I understand giving him some crap.  You do need hobbies. My wife and I are both an agreement that sometimes we need our alone time. Just do what ever it is to make us relax. Weather it taking a nap or having sex with our self or hanging out in the barn. Sometimes if I’m horny and the wife really isn’t she likes just watch me play. It all works out.


   
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Zentai
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@helghast 

The way I see it, Super-Os could create a situation where people stop being compatible, when they would be otherwise (without sessions, etc.) I feel the endgame of Super-Os is sharing them with someone, so for me, if this could not be part of the relationship, I don't think things would work out, since that's where I would like to go next. It would be like a guy finding a new passion, but his partner wanting absolutely no part in it. 

At this point a woman would need to be okay with me spending several hours a week answering emails about S-Os and being a bit of a volunteer online masturbation coach, because, well that's basically what I do. Super-O stuff is a big part part of my life and maybe that's unhealthy, there's a fine line between passion and obsession I guess, but I feel I have a shot at cracking the code, and that would be something, wouldn't it ? 


   
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@zentai I have a idea for tonight my wife gets off work soon and comes up stairs she will grab a beer.  Think im going to tell her sit back relax I’m going to go get the coconut oil and give her a foot rub. Before I come down with the oil I’ll prep and slid in my vice in.  I’ll come down naked and pull up a stool and front of her and start giving her a foot massage while she watch’s me get off with vice and her sexy feet in my hands.


   
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Helghast
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Posted by: @zentai

The way I see it, Super-Os could create a situation where people stop being compatible

Then the guy has a problem that needs attention.

Posted by: @zentai

Super-Os is sharing them with someone, so for me, if this could not be part of the relationship, I don't think things would work out, since that's where I would like to go next. It would be like a guy finding a new passion, but his partner wanting absolutely no part in it

Maybe,but a relationship could be managed with some journey squeezed in. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Plenty of women don’t gym even though the guy does,it’s not a deal breaker lol. Compromise is sometimes required.

Posted by: @zentai

At this point a woman would need to be okay with me spending several hours a week answering emails about S-Os and being a bit of a volunteer online masturbation coach, because, well that's basically what I do. Super-O stuff is a big part part of my life and maybe that's unhealthy, there's a fine line between passion and obsession I guess

But would you be if you had someone in your life. Your priorities might be different. You might not be so worried about emails when your balls deep in wet pussy hahaha

Posted by: @zentai

and that would be something, wouldn't it ? 

Of course it would! But not at the expense of you having someone to build a life with.

 

 

 

 


   
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Zentai
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@helghast 

You're not wrong, and I don't expect most people to "get it" anyway. The Wright brothers never married, and one of them told the press that he did not have time for both a wife and a plane... Maybe he could have been balls deep in wet pussy, and some other guys would have made planes instead. Personally I'd be looking for a Pierre and Marie Curie situation, without the radiation poisoning, of course.  

For the record I don't think I'm some genius inventor with revolutionary ideas, it's just, man, I think this is **important**, and I think there's a small chance I could crack this. I feel I've been very close before. No matter how crazy this sounds, you have to admit my advice is generally not too shabby, right ? 🙂 


   
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(@iceman-disciple)
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I just wanted to pop in and say that, generally, "autosexual" may be a more accurate term than asexual for the sentiments that OP has expressed.


   
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SOwithoutAneros
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Hi, just want to pop in and ask, did anybody discussing this topic so eagerly notice that the original poster didn't react for 11 days now? There is even missing any "like" to any answer. I myself do love vivid discussions, but coming back here after taking a hiatus perhaps helps to take one step back. Anyone asked himself, how a first time poster shall handle 17 conflicting answers? May this in fact act as a deterrent? Only my 2 cts here. Cheers! Mart


   
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SOwithoutAneros
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Posted by: @zentai
Posted by: @zentai

bobbies

Btw., mustn't it read "boobies"? 😉

 


   
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Golfing1
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@newtoy That is so hot that I am starting my day twitching down there, as my anus is begging for a session or at least an entry.  My wife always has me rub her feet when we retire to the bedroom, but it does not always lead to an "interlude" as we call it!


   
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Helghast
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Posted by: @zentai

For the record I don't think I'm some genius inventor with revolutionary ideas, it's just, man, I think this is **important**, and I think there's a small chance I could crack this. I feel I've been very close before. No matter how crazy this sounds, you have to admit my advice is generally not too shabby, right

Bs. Every community needs a mad scientist and you’re him 😉


   
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Ggringo
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Posted by: @sowithoutaneros

I myself do love vivid discussions, but coming back here after taking a hiatus

Welcome back Mart! We missed you.


   
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@helghast sharing anything with my wife gets me off more then anything in this world. That’s what having a loving wife is all about.  By the way I had a fantastic time just massaging her feet last night. She didn’t know I had the Aneros inside me until I Stood up and shot a heavy load all over her belly. I never made a sound she had no idea. She was shocked. That I cum without stroking my self.  I think shes in love .. 


   
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@golfing1 that’s ok it all about spending intimate time. The journey is how you get there it’s all about the trip. I had to go out of town for work now it’s in the evening. I miss my wife, a pacifier myself with my voice too in my ass right now. I wish you was here to share that with me. It feels so good I could cum just thinking about it talking about it. I wish the male stereotyper through the shit out the window years ago. I love it in my butt. It’s so relaxes everything with me deep inside I wish I knew this years ago. it makes it very erotic that my wife loves me to have this tool so I can feel good awesome


   
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@golfing1 just go do what I did an lick her toes she will cum before she knows it. 


   
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Zentai
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Posted by: @helghast

Bs. Every community needs a mad scientist and you’re him

Yeah, I guess I'm "him", I mean, "me", lolz. 


   
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Golfing1
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@newtoy 

You have definitely rewired yourself to be able to enjoy anal pleasure and hands free ejaculation all over your wife.  I know the feeling of shooting cum all over your loved one, whether you used your hands or not.  The reciprocal feeling created by your loved one accepting you unconditionally like that is a turn on by itself.  This is in fact more arousing than the physical touch intended for the arousal in the first place.  But you did not have to even do that for yourself, or have her do it for you.  That is also hot, beyond hot !   Wow!


   
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🤣


   
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kjoqsupplicant
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@zentai What kind of bullshit is that? Jesus Christ.


   
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