Roughly 10 years of Aneros play but no big pleasure.

Dear all,

Before I start, let me tell you that I am not a native English speaker (I am French), so maybe you will find some of my words or sentences a little bit " weird ". Let me first introduce myself. I am a 43 years old healthy guy, even if I am a bit anxious sometimes. I am married and have a child, very happy in life.

Now, let's talk about my very very slow Aneros journey.

As a teenager, so in the 90's, I was very interested by anal play. I knew that something sexually very pleasant was hidden down there. I used to play with some objects inserted in my rectum while masturbating. At the same time, I used to wear my mother's clothes as I had a sexual fantasy: to be a woman. I still have this fantasy today, even if I consider myself 99% straight. I did this kind of " sessions " until I was 17.

Much later, in 2013, while browsing an online sex shop, I saw for the first time the Aneros " toy " with all the advertisements saying that the pleasure coming from prostate is a hidden pleasure and that nothing else can be comparable, etc. It made me very horny and eager to discover these feelings. I remember I bought the masseur the next hour I saw it on the internet. It was the first Helix model with the old p-tab version.

Now, something very confusing: my first session, on a summer night in 2013, was maybe the best one in my memories! I put the Helix, and was lying in my bed on my side, and made slow rhythmic hips moves during maybe 2 hours. And at a certain moment, I felt something growing, very overwhelming sexually speaking, it was fantastic. I never felt something so pure. Dopamine was starting to flow! I believe in was the beginning of a dry O.

Now, the " not so good " news: I was never able to retrieve this feeling, I mean this overwhelming sexual pleasure. At least not at this intensity. I tried every technique, a lot of Aneros model, but in the best case, I feel some pleasant but elusive sensations. This " hidden sexual ocean " that I strongly believe in is not growing during my sessions anymore, like it started in my first experience. Actually, I am lying a little bit: I had a second quite good session, roughly one year ago. I was on all fours, (I like this position due to my fantasy), Aneros Trident inserted. I was doing slight hips movements and after 30 minutes, I started to feel (finally !) something growing, clearly sexual, and my heart started to race. But it lasted maybe 20 seconds, no more.

At this point, I precise that I often do Aneros sessions, but sometimes I give up for a couple of months, due to the absence of real breakthrough. But since 2013, I regularly do roughly 2 sessions per week, especially during spring and summer, because I have more holidays and I feel less tired.

Also, I learned a lot about my muscles down there. I do Kegels exercises since a decade. I have very strong muscles now. What is actually completely crazy is that I think I have acquired a very good technique. I can perfectly separate anus and perineum voluntary twitches, I can even make some " auto fucking " on demand when Aneros inserted if I keep a certain amount of muscle tension. I can get involuntaries very fast during my sessions, and as long as I want. But you know what? No very big pleasure from all of that. Sometimes I feel some good stuff, but it remains attenuated and elusive sensations. Not " that overwhelming thins growing ". However, I noticed that when something feels good, it is almost always during the release of the muscles (or expiration), when things can move " on their own ".

To conclude, I chase this overwhelming pleasure since 2013. As I am an extremely perseverant guy, I don't give up. My journey is very uncommon, but I know there is a treasure to discover.

But this time, I decided to ask for guidance, and here I am ! The technique is clearly not the issue. So is it my mind? Maybe I am not meant to experience this again? But as a paradox, I strongly believe I can, at least, feel again this pleasure ... I love my body and the pleasure it can gave me so much...

So I am here and I ask for help about my Aneros journey. Maybe because it is a ten years journey now... If anybody of you want more, I will answer with pleasure. Because this time, I decided to ask for guidance, and for that, many thanks in advance for your kind answers !

Cheers,

Antoine.