Whole Body/Whole Mind -- the mental side

The following is tossed out for comment (and RFC so to speak) open to any sort of suggestion. Perhaps it should be broken apart into smaller chunks ... whatever... ... rook

"Whole Body/Whole Brain" -- the mental side Occasionally the Aneros Forum has a handful "product complaints." These haven't been about quality but about the whole concept of using prostate stimulation as a gateway to male multiple orgasm. They focus on advertising and Forum "hype" as the major issue and blame the product. The Aneros learning curve is steep for some men yet nearly instinctive for others. When I first saw the UTube videos I thought that the guys were 'scripted.' Aside for some auto-twitching they were responding much differently than did I. At that time, and today to some degree, the Aneros Wiki has a set of "tips" followed by many guys. And, that approach tends to work (sooner or later) for most Forum members. Sort of like learning to swim. Some kids roll off the log and swim like fish. Others who are a bit more judgemental, think twice about their buoyancy, splash about and need lessons. Some drown, never learning they were able to float. This Forum has an action oriented membership. It supports newbies with suggested actions that should lead him to an intensive p-wave. Usually it's sufficiently intensive, that the other cards fall into place automatically as a man's instincts come into play. Probably good enough, 80% of the time. Another 10% will grind away, acquiring skills at a steady pace and a year or three later will become sages of the Forum, chests filled with merit badges earned with many mini-Os. The remaining five or ten percent will drop out, flame the Forum or seek a refund of their money. Those failures are frequently the result of a man's instinct driving him back to traditional masturbation techniques like he'd use to squeeze out that first pulse of an orgasm driven ejaculation. -- ain't gonna happen to get a dry O ! But, we can never tell what's going on in the guy's brain. That's important to me since I believe this game, like golf, is played on a 4-inch wide course that is centered between one's ears. The mental side of this game is often forgotten, most frequently by old-timers who take it for granted. That said, I think some caution is in order. Anyone who posts in the Forum takes on some degree of risk and vulnerability. It's ultra-important that we not denigrate any man and that we be as accepting of his belief system as we ask him to accept pieces of ours. Fortunately, we are on a very public stage and newcomers can contemplate their future before they commit to joining the Forum.

(Whoever first opted to make this a public rather than closed forum did us all a very big service!) So, sometimes it's necessary to set a guy straight with some of Cockadoodle's or Arctic Wolves 'tough love.' Straight guys with little anal experience start with some hang-ups to overcome. Someone who's been "closet Bi-curious" can get uptight real quick following his first Aneros induced p-wave or rectal clench. Asking him to bare his soul is crossing the line so, we avoid going there. Additionally, we're not professional shrinks so have no business probing around "under a guy's mental umbrella." The Forum is quite good at spotting these issues and suggesting some professional individual or couples therapy. However, I think there are important mental considerations to success with the Aneros; and, many of those can be addressed without messing around inside another man's psychological makeup, mood anomalies, or core beliefs.

Some posts I see in the Forum seem to be venting anger. Others show the gent had little mental openness and the submissiveness to open his soul to the experience. One of the reasons we go solo for sessions is to have a safe environment to submit our souls to whatever feelings may come our way. Let's face it. We all have some macho in our make up. We are trained in self-control and we tend to extend control beyond plain manners and everyday relationships into elements of our sexual expression. Some of us haven't yet separated orgasm from sex. My first bit of 'enlightenment' was triggered when Starr831 first posted, connecting his spiritual side with his Aneros success. It took me several months and a number of 'dud' sessions to grasp that I didn't come close to understanding what Starr might be doing (or not doing). Not being a fervently religious guy, I had to do some raw spiritual homework to find the connections between my personality, my feelings, my soul, my brain and my God. (My situation still has some scattered puzzle pieces and a lot of blank holes but I've seen enough of the finished image to know it's essential to my being.) I think that sessions need a basis in mood, acceptance of spiritual risk, and a relaxed susceptibility to whatever might happen (including soiling your towel -- shit happens!) In this game, one has to be able to reflectively laugh rather than have misgivings.

Look at four brain factors:

Mood preparation: The Aneros Wiki suggests a hot sensuous shower as a minimal preparation. Open the pores, improve blood and energy flow throughout your bod. When you can, get a massage from your mate before you isolate into your solo session. Remember to pay-back massages on at least a one-for-one basis! Consider adopting some of the practices that our sisters use before their own solo masturbation -- candles, aromas, and massage. Make the event, just about you! Women share a lot of ideas for session prep at the beauty shop. We (particularly str-8s) are not nearly so sharing in the locker room or barber shop. Seek advice from your wife, g/f, sister or other female on what works for her. Read some chalk-talk stuff on female masturbation. Unlike other MMO techniques, you are about to "make love to yourself." That expensive piece of plastic is about to complete a link between the one who gives and the one who receives. Don't be a rapist! Don't allow yourself to be raped -- saying, "NO" is an OK thing ! Rough sex and nasty anal play in this arena is alright if you plan for it and agree to it. Set your own ground rules, remembering not to inflict mental scars. Heal thine own bruises.

Mental anxiety or stress -- this increases tension and masks the subtle feelings that are stair steps to the orgasmic experience. Ways to overcome stress include "focused relaxation" drills, perhaps augmented by meditation or arousal aids like Alana's CD tracks or Kelly Howell's Ecstasy tracks. It was very hard for me to achieve a well-relaxed state before starting my ramp-up to arousal. Particularly when I or a loved one was suffering physically or mentally. And, if you are so disposed, self-medication with THC can "zero out" out your mood anomalies and anxiety by blanketing you with a mild "lassitude."

Brain-Body relationships -- Whether you experience large or small twitches as you build arousal to orgasmic release, they are still quick and powerful contractions. If you are muscularly unprepared, a small cramp or Charlie-horse can add to mental stress, trigger anxiety and destroy sensate focus. Before bedding down for insertion, get well hydrated (take a sports drink into that hot shower) then do a basic stretching routine. Treat this like you were going to run a 2K.

The Judgemental facet of your personality -- Take a look at the four letters in your Myers-Briggs personality type. If there's a "TJ" rather than a "FP" on the end of those four letters (i.e. ESTJ versus ESFP), you may have a tougher time quickly accepting the blessings Dame Aneros bestows on your feelings. While critical assessment of your actions, responses and surroundings is important, it can consume or block your ability to quickly and openly accept new feelings. Unrealized feelings result in a session that never gets started or "goes dud" once arousal is established. I finally decided that my best way to tame or soften my own "J" was to counterbalance it with 20 minutes of spiritual reading each day. I also try to assess and correct my daily activities to emphasize the spiritual element in my being. If you're new to MBTI check out: -- My MBTI Personality Type - MBTI Basics -- Remember that in Myers & Briggs there are no "good" or "bad" personality types -- they are all equal but, all different.