How do I build pleasure/let pleasure build without it leading to ejaculation?

Posted by: @plugnduck

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What the heck can I do about this?

 I suggest you read the following threads, I think you will find a variety of suggestions to try to resolve this issue for you. How to avoid ejaculation?, How to avoid handsfree wet orgasms , Avoiding ejaculation during orgasm? , Hands free ejaculation being an obstacle & Cumming while lying face down

Good Vibes to You!

@rumel 

Thanks. From what I read the thing that would seem to be the way to go would be to lay off from tension, not let the tension build up. But this is problematic (maybe? or maybe it will work after a while) since that also means straying away from pleasure, it means consciously choosing to restrict and lower the amount of pleasure you feel, which seems to be the opposite to what one would want to do.

@Plugnduck, I think you may be too strongly associating tension with arousal/pleasure, they are not necessarily closely tied together. You can certainly experience muscle tensions without pleasure and likewise you can experience pleasure with out the tension. With that in mind you can learn to relax without forcing yourself to lessen your arousal.

Good Vibes to You!

@rumel 

Yes you are right that tension and pleasure are not the same, I do experience pleasure that is not associated with tension also in my sessions. That pleasure just doesnt build up, its completely unexpected and out of control. It shows up then it goes, sometimes it is there as a slight tingling for longer periods of time. Its a bit like my insides are this map where I am becoming familiar with different areas, different feelings, movements I can make or that arise without my control. And I am trying to find what causes what to happen, to find some pattern in there. If I push here and keep my attention here, what happens? I investigate, I play around. But it is almost like the thing is a shifting labyrinth, there are things that stay the same, but the result of pleasure to those things does not stay the same. Like one day I am doing x and getting result y, then next day I do x and I dont get result y. I dont find any clear pattern to what causes what. Well, apart from finding the pattern of what causes ejaculation. Kind of funny, the only thing I did not want to find out how to do is what I know exactly how to do.

I think the problem might be the feeling of arousal in itself. You know how you feel arousal somewhere in your body. Its not like 10 feet in front of your body, its in your body, either as a field like feeling encompassing a larger area or more localized in some particular are in your body. For me the feeling of arousal gets localized in that spot inside the anus that then becomes that tense ball feeling. Well, and as far as non tension feelings go, it feels like the arousal "discharges" itself in these tingles that appear inside the general pelvic area, often times the tingles happen in that same spot where the ball feeling also happens. So that spot is some sort of a center of sensation for pleasure. There is another spot like that lower down, but activating that spot is difficult for me. If it does activate there is also similar tingles and a more softer feeling of pressure. 

A quick answer: I've ejaculated hands free with aneros inserted under conditions of being in a long session and if I remember correctly I used nipples in the aneros sessions. The nipples induced ejaculation. How are you doing the sessions ? (step by step)

@soul-pleasure 

Well. I insert the aneros and either put up some audio or look at some porn while laying down on my side. You are right about the nipple play. For me the nipple play tends to stimulate that area inside the anus which then leads to ejaculation, so I have to be careful with it. But without nipple play the sensations inside tend to not build up so I kind of need it at least a bit to get sensations happening inside. Its a double edged sword where I need to do it to build up sensations, but not focus on the wrong sensations or to build up tension in the wrong places. It is not a matter of long sessions for me, if I have gone without ejaculation for a day or a few, I could come within two minutes if I wanted to, straight at the beginning of the session.

As a side note, I did another sessions later the same day after the first one lead to ejaculation, and during the second session the problem of feeling like ejaculation was going to happen was not a problem. I also consciously tried to relax as much as possible, consciously letting go of any tensions that build up, even if those tensions were accompanied with pleasure. Not always instantly, sometimes I would hold the tension for a while and try to separate the pleasure from the tensions, then relax the tension while keeping focus on the pleasure. This worked well and I experienced new feelings. It felt like the more coarse sensations melted into more subtle ones. Not subtle as in less intense, but like how you can have large grains of stone vs that kind of very powdery and fine sand that you have at the beach.

I noticed some slight involuntary movements at one point and I just put my attention there and relaxed all muscular tensions I could, which is not that easy since the tensions were not something I had consciously held. But as I managed to relax them, it felt like I zoomed inside, like how you zoom into something with a microscope and now you see what is "actually there". So what I found was this feeling of energy buzzing, pulsating. It was like that was behind the muscle movements, this electric feeling current that was buzzing and moving. I gave all my attention to that and it spread, it was intense. I took a little break and came back again, this time I concentrated on the pleasure again that I was feeling, and it moved up into my belly, first it was a kind of a tension in my belly, I breathed consciously and tried to let go, to relax that tension. When I relaxed it, I felt this pleasure start to glow in my belly. I also had a similar glow in my prostate region, but I was mainly giving all my attention to my belly at this point, but the two were linked, relaxing one caused relaxation and increase of pleasure also in the other. It was delightful when I finally relaxed my belly sufficiently while concentrating on the pleasure there. It felt like when the clouds part and the shun shines through, it was like that in my belly, the tension released and from behind it a warm glow of delightful orgasmic, almost emotional and soft pleasure started to glow, it was not electric like previously, it was more like a glow. It was different, but it was perhaps even more delightful in its own way. The electric sensations felt more like forceful, more masculine, and this glow felt more feminine, more like a warm embrace.

@ PlugNduck, It sounds to me like you are right where you need to be. Following the pleasure and not the tension . The previous ejaculation took the edge off the tension but may have also taken off too much arousal for you to cross over into the Super-O zone. If this almost worked for you you might try to milk your prostate prior to a session instead of going for an ejaculation. Please see my post in the thread Prostate Milking during Semen Retention which contains links to prostate 'milking' related information resources.

Good Vibes to You!