What is problematic and not problematic use. I need advise and come to terms with.

Hi @astronaut I hear you loud and clear here. 

If you are measuring time spent doing anything, and feel like its too much time, then whatever it is you are doing, that thing is being done too much. If there are "other important" activities you could do but you choose to do solo sex play then you should consider slowing down and get those important other things into your weekly schedule for sure. You identify that you kind of have a mild problem simply by pointing out that you are basically choosing orgasms over other important things.

I think part of it is the use of porn. Whether you are doing prostate stimulation or just penis stimulation, porn is involved and its been known to take lots of time away from users. For instance, at the peak of my porn abuse, I was using it probably between 3-5 hours a day randomly like 10 minutes here, 30 minutes there, with a solid 60 minutes every night for edging and cumming, and it all added up, so that I was spending 21-35 hours a week on it. 21 hours, that's literally a whole day including sleep. Plus I started getting ED if I wasn't looking at it, and I couldn't cum if it wasn't on either. When I quit porn I only played with myself for like 1 hour a week, just 10-20 minutes to cum usually just me alone with nothing on. I felt A LOT better!!

You may be hooked on the dopamine. Porn+prostate play and maybe adding in some penis stimulation too, and you're having orgasms, probably several, so its like dopamine taxation big time. Important things might sound like chores and not so fun. Orgasms sound amazing!! So you probably choose orgasms over everything else. 

My advice is to start using Aneros and other toys for prostate play without porn on. I know it might be hard to disconnect the two. But when I did I started to have monumental orgasms and my sessions were never the same. I went from distracted sessions to focused sessions and 0 prostate Os to dozens every session. There is a dependency link between porn and waking hours. You just need to analyze your solo sex play and see what all components are involved in it and if you can cut something out. I wouldn't cut out prostate stimulation at all. But you might do it less if you cut out the porn; your brain might be craving porn but your consciousness is craving prostate orgasms--there is a difference. 

We're all here to talk and advise!!

Hey, thanks for sharing! I am glad that you overcome phonography use.

I don't feel like I am missing out on important things and have no problem with abstaining from it and scheduling my sessions within the week. 

I guess my main problem is self regulating with it. It helps me to relax when I am under stimulated. I have high libido and my partner is not

This comes from having ADHD and always seeking short term gratification to keep up with my usual things.

I do sports and other things to help self regulate but I can see how this habit can evolve into something that can be disruptive.

The thing I want to understand how others who do regular practice manage it. Do you just abstain from porn? And how do you consider your relationships with pornography? Thanks

I do abstain from porn but I look at some hot images and short video clips of my fetishes from time to time, but I don't rely on them or use them to get an erection, and I never ever cum to images or porno. I look at something and say, "wow that is so hot" but I don't say "wow that is so hot that I have to cum to it right now!" 

I really only go for one session a week now. 15 or so years ago I did 2 or 3 sessions, but I came every single day, whether it was sex with my wife (which was daily with almost no breaks a month except when she was on her period) or self pleasuring when I wasn't having sex that day/night. I want to have a session every day! But I have to work. Cook for my wife. Clean the house, do chores, write my reports for my contracts, work with my clients, work on hiring people, maintain professional relationships, look for grants, work on professional conference presentations, write publications for scholarly journals, stuff like that. Tuesday is my day for cumming. I usually have a massive session on Tuesday and have a massive Super T at the end, and if I'm involved in mind-altering substances I'll have a few more traditional orgasms/ejaculations, because my wife works and is out late every Tuesday. I have time to get all my work and chores done and still have a few hours to enjoy my body. I used to try to cum during the day on random days of the week but lately I haven't had the time. Even when I pop wood for no reason during the day, I don't go relieve myself. I stroke it and play with it while I'm working at the computer, and then ignore it and hope for sex later that night. I also used to cum every single night if my wife couldn't have sex. But the last year or so I don't do that anymore. Thyroid issues and some drop in testosterone is likely why I've lost motivation to cum every single day or night. But I'm on medication finally and my drive is coming back.

Like right now, I'm already thinking about what I'm going to do to myself tomorrow. It makes it even more exciting, the waiting and planning. It'll be so fun! So maybe try to think about the future and how amazing a session will be and hold back from satisfying yourself right now.

I have a "hate" relationship with porn. I fucking hate it so much. I wish it didn't exist. There are images and video everywhere. Everything is sexualized. What can I do? I just don't use it to make myself hard and cum. I try to avoid it. If I have a feeling like I want to look at something I look at music analysis videos on YouTube instead. Or I get back to work. Or leave the room and get off the computer. Usually I drift and boredom or tiredness makes me look at porn. I've been off it for masturbation and erection needs for a little over 4 years now. I was in the pits. I couldn't live without it. Thank god the state I live in requires FaceID and drivers license scans to look at most sites, it really prevents me from seeing anything because I'll NEVER give a website that kind of information. My bank doesn't even want that kind of info!! Makes you realize how bad porn is: to look at it, you have to upload your drivers license and scans of your face. 

I have extremely high libido and my wife is pretty low. Its due to low hormones though, she used to do me all the time. Now she's on HRT its coming back, but its been an up and down 5 years, she's in menopause and has thyroid issues. But even though I'm high libido, I maintain some self control and don't give in. I could go to the back room, get hard, and cum my brains out right now this second if I wanted to easy. But I can't, I have to get dinner going. And, my wife thinks we can have sex tonight, so I'm saving up. I usually save up for her. And if we don't do it, I just wait another day. Makes for very intense orgasms and stimulation!!! 

So because you have ADHD you're overstimulated, and busy and your attention is all over the place. That's why porn is so bad for you. You can jump around a lot and stay busy pleasuring yourself. So porn and your condition are a horrible mix. 

Time to slow it all down and cut out porn when you do your prostate sessions. Learn to breathe and focus your attention on the toy inside you. Every millimeter of it, every little movement, every contraction, every anything that happens to you, focus on that. Make your ADHD brain pay attention to your body. Become obsessed with how everything feels, think about your body as you lay there with a toy in you. Feel the contractions. Don't look at the screen at porn as this is happening. You create disconnect and you don't rewire, or stay rewired, your attention is not on your breath or body. Focus on your body and how your mind can be clear so that nothing but the pleasure remains. Its you, the toy, your breathing, and the pleasure from sexual stimulation. That's all there is. That's all there needs to be. Turn off the distracting screen it does nothing for you. That is designed to stimulate your brain-penis connection. 

Is there prostate-centered porno? I don't think so. You can't tell if the guy doing prostate pleasure is really feeling good or having an orgasm, you can't see it. What does a hot pair of tits have to do with a toy in your ass?!?!? That's what I said to myself when I quit porn during sessions. I didn't quit porn for penis pleasure, only prostate pleasure. Later I quit porn for everything. But it took time. My sessions benefited greatly when the screen turned off.

Thanks guys, great points here! Thanks for sharing