Wow I think I reached a new level

Hoping the more experienced users can share their experiences too.  Sorry long one to explain. Am I mad or are there others?

40years old. I've been using different models on and off for a few years now and had some unbelievably great times. All different sensations from one session to the next. That's the beauty, to experiment. Patience is key for the newbies, do not force anything to happen. Just relax, breathe, breathe softly, clear your mind and let it be

It had been a long time, maybe 18 months since my last session.... Not related prostate massage but I've been through a personal journey of awakening for 3 or so years now.  I just started again but this time I had a much clearer new mindset.

I had my second session today and oh wow. I think I went through the gates?  So the build up was normal for me, lots of lovely p-waves and my body was still, I try not to tremble unless I just want super pleasure.  This time I allowed the waves to go as far as I could, with my new mindset.  Whatever happens I just stay calm and focus on my breathing. I was also listening to my inner voice. 

My breathing was relaxed, but my heart was absolutely racing and pounding at one point, I could feel it so strong up my anus too but my inner voice was guiding me through the process, keeping me calm and my heart rate eventually stabilised.  I carried on just relaxing and breathing and listening. My mind went some place else.  It was something I never experienced before, I had a conversation with my inner voice, maybe a higher form of consciousness.  I was open to whatever it wanted to tell me. 

There wasn't anything interesting said at this point.  After a while the "entity" gave me the best hand job ever, tapping and teasing my cock untill cum so hard, it was one of the best wet orgasms I ever had.  Top 5 easy.

Normally then, I calm down for a few seconds and I'm back in the room. However this time it didn't let go.  I was just lying there and couldn't move or open my eyes.  The force came back quickly and it became talking again saying how much they love me and I'm safe and it meant a lot for them to have this moment with me. 

We chatted more. I won't say what exactly about, I think its for me to keep personal. There were no direct answers, more like clues on who I am, who "she" was, yes and she gave me her first name. She gave me a sign to look out for too, it will manifest/present itself into my physical space. there was so much more.  I can't stop thinking about this experience, I'm completely mind blown, confused but also so greatful.

Wow I sound like I'm a bit crazy.  There's no way I could say any of that out loud to people who don't understand ha