Primeval Male Dominance A Roadblock?

What you are saying is interesting although I don’t think I understood it completely. I don’t agree that men have a primeval need to spread their genes and take what isn’t theirs.  And I don’t think men are dominant necessarily by nature, rather, this behavior is cultural. I have yet to see studies that prove that this behavior Isn’t just cultural, that it actually is engrained in our genes. Other than analyzing cultures, that give us only their cultural outcome and thus a skewed outcome of the true nature of humans, there is no way to ever know. But more egalitarian societies show us that most or all of our dominance is cultural, and can be altered if a society is willing to put all humans on the same level. But that wasn’t the main point of your post, and I don’t know if this forum is the best place for this sort of discussion.

I do agree that one of the main roadblocks for men is fear of being dominated. It is fear of letting go and showing one’s true emotions. If an alien were to come to planet Earth and watch a few hours of heterosexual earth pornography, he would surely conclude that the human female expresses emotion and makes noise during the terrestrial heterosexual mating act, while seeming to lose control, while the male is cold and calculated, showing little emotion and making no noise.

From a young age men are taught to dominate and not show emotion. Showing emotion means being submissive. Don’t cry, be a man, don’t be a pussy, man up…We hear these phrases from a young age. By not showing emotions, we also restrict our pallet of possible emotions that we might feel. On the contrary women are taught from a young age to let their emotions flourish.

There are two biological factors that make it so that men fall into a dominant position in heterosexual sex. First off men are in general slightly bigger and often have more muscles than women. Second, during sex, ejaculation is often the determining factor for when sex ends. This is because of the refractory period, causing the man to lose interest and the woman after ejaculation. So often times men are forced to control themselves so as not to ejaculate too soon. Decades of practicing sex in this way is surely an impediment to learning how to let go (I would be curious to see if younger people have an easier time learning how to let go with prostate play, compared to older people).

These biological factors coupled with male emotional stoicism are indeed a roadblock. They are a major roadblock for receiving pleasure of all sorts, not just prostate pleasure. When you add in the fear of homosexuality, as well as religious guilt surrounding sex, I can see why people have a very hard time letting go... 

What you say about homophobia, homoerotic acts and dominance is indeed very strange. There are a lot of contradictions in the purely heterosexual world. Again, looking at pornography, one would think that many heterosexual men love looking at other men’s penises. Otherwise why would there be so many blowjobs, hand jobs, gang bangs, cum shots and other penile centric acts in a lot of pornography, viewed by plenty of heterosexual men...?

I would be curious to know if there are successful men here who are not the least bit submissive, or who are homophobic. Personally I am heterosexual, having never been attracted to a man in person. Fantasies and pornography allow me to explore things that in real life don’t interest me at all, and I have no fear of “turning gay or bi.” I even wish I were attracted to men in person to enlarge the field of possibilities.  I can be dominant or submissive, and I can attest to the fact that it is almost impossible to attain orgasmic pleasure while assuming a dominant role (except ejaculation). For me pleasure means letting go, and letting go means not being dominant. Whether i am submitting to my own emotions or to another person is the same to me. 

@divine_o, thanks for your interesting thoughts!

I didn‘t want my thread to restart the discussion about genes or culture as reasons for human behavior. As to that I only would note the fact that humans still develop branchial arches in a certain embryonic period, what is convincing me that we still have to deal with primeval settings in our subconsciousness as well. On this basis I’m only searching for hidden hurdles perhaps originating from some latent 

Sorry, but I guess it will take a bit, until I once more will have typed my answer, that just has been deleted by an handling error and no automatic draft saving as in the forum before. Having done some reediting too, I better leave to catch some sleep.

I beg for pardon and patience, to avoid another handling error, I will edit this answer bit by bit.

Cheers, Mart

@divine_o:

"... one would think that many heterosexual men love looking at other men’s penises ..."

I often wondered what the reason may be, but the only idea crossing my mind so far has only been a comparison to animal behavior relating to the all present competitive battle concerning sexual reproduction.

The reason for an erection naturally is the presence of a female being wanting to mate. A male being wants to be the one elected for sexual reproduction. When he notices the erection of another male being, what could be better for his own advance in reproduction than his member at attention? What other sense should "Schwanzvergleiche" (dick-measuring contests) have? Btw, it's too an idiom describing contests about who has the biggest car or the longest ship.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not discussing our conscious mindset, I'm only referring to what may be a reason for our subconsciousness to react that way.

(to be continued)

Beginning this thread I wouldn‘t have thought how difficult it would be to give apposite examples and to clothe my thoughts in words. And barely anything ist more confusing than a lame comparison:

The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to
the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing shop.

Edwin Conklin

😉