Calling all followers of tantra

I have been trying to figure out this whOle orgasm withou ejaculation thing for about six month now and I can't quite get it. I am a four year aneros user with wonderful success but no super o as of yet. I do have what I consider very calm dry orgasms with my aneros inserted and by myself. However I have tried to be able to make love with my wife with and without my aneros trying to acheive multiple dry os with no success. I have even abstained from ejaculating for up to seven weeks to hype up my sexual energy and am able to lift or rotate the energy with no problem. Also when I masturbate I can stop just shy Of ejaculation and edge it for hours to have what I think may be the what you may call dry valey orgasms and am left feeling quite satisfied with out the need to blOw my load but the second I penetrate my wife I loose it. It's fun and all but I feel like I'm missing something and all the tantrics say the same thing. Build energy and raise it up your spine and it will just happen with practice. I was just wondering if anyone else here had some news tips or an inside scoop to help me out here. FYI I feel like I have a healthy understanding of how tO redirect my energies instead of feeling the need to "push out " or "force" an ejaculation. Aka I feel like I am somewhat rewired so we don't exactly need to start at tantra 101.