Advice needed: overcoming performance anxiety (Long Read)

hey, I hope this is not off topic, but I enjoy the helpfuling hand and relaxed attitude in this forum.

I use to suffer heavily from anxiety to the point where I was on some pretty strong meds for 2 years. 4 years ago I went through a self help program and now I have been medication-free for 2 years (huge turning point in my life).

I am in control of my anxiety but it still present with me everyday. I watch my caffeine intake, negative thoughts, and balanced diet.

I have only once approached super "O" with my Helix. I recently started dating someone and I now seem to have issues with performance anxiety. I was able to take care of her with my fingers until she was more then pleased, but when it came to my turn I could not enjoy myself and did not complete.

Things I have observed about myself.

1. I seem to put other happieness before my own
2. I have trouble relaxing and clearing my mind of worries (I am always afraid of overlooking any detail in my life)
3. I get the paranoid feeling my neighbors are spying on me even though I have nothing to back that claim up. (I even hang blankets over the windows to insure our privacy)
4. I know I definately suffer from personality disorders such as

Schizoid Personality Disorder (was told by two different thearapists)
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Schizotypal Personality Disorder

The last time I had mind-blowing, hair-pulling sex was two years ago when I met this cute lil' red head (not trying to brag but painting you a picture). I was freash off my meds and felt super cocky about my life (my testosterone may have shot up from being supressed for two years). I do not feel super cocky anymore but I am at a happy medium "everything in moderation type attitude" in life.

I geuss after writing this, I realize my problem is clearing my mind blocking the outside world to concentrate on either myself and my gf (who is very understanding and I am thankful I met).

Is there anyone else that was once like this but has learned how to "let go of" or overcome their fears to concrentrate on themselves or thier loved ones? How do I regain my "sexual concentration". the kind I had when I was 16 and care free?