Who I Am, As I Am, And What I've Discovered

Awesome post and great insights! I like your metaphor of 'driving' a care versus riding a hot balloon into the great Unknown of inner landscapes and pleasures. I started on the MGX and I have enjoyed it greatly, but I suspect it could be a tiny bit too short to "fully" passage the prostate... as it takes either my sitting in it, doing muscle contractions, rubbing it, etc. What feels very stimulating is tapping it gently on the back flat of the plastic handle with my index and middle finger... in between the two curls... causing the MGX to "quivers" and vibrate up against my prostate for a brieft moment.

Think I am gonna try the Helix Syn next.

I am also feeling a great sense of inner peace and calm, like the core of my being is being soothed and grounded. It is a great journey and deeply rewarding experience!

Seconded! You're writing a lot of wisdom in that long post.

The mental noise aspect is something I had been neglecting. I had been taking a polar opposite approach to that: just let your mind wander and ignore what's going on elsewhere in your body. Sometimes that type of mental detachment/distraction works very well, and you're dragged back in surprise into the "now" by some exciting sensation.

Spyeg,
First, thank you for mentioning my blog in your journey. That is truly humbling and eye opening. I often feel like my inspirations, my ramblings, are little more than ordinary. The fact that I did write something that allowed you to make the connection for yourself what works for you is truly great, and I am honored that you mentioned it.
You are making some fantastic progress. A few things I really want to point out is that you're slipping into more of an observer role. You're allowing yourself, your conscious, your need to be in control, to just subside for a little bit. As it does, you're observing your feelings, your thoughts, your sensations, not just in your prostate area or genital area, but your whole being. This is because of the second point I want to make. "it's more a languid curiousity of what my body is doing to itself, a passing glance into the various areas of stimulation (everywhere, not just pelvic region). I feel like I'm opening my mind to what is to come, not to where I'm going (emphasis mine)" You are letting the sensations come to you. You are opening up. It's not about trying to create and reign in the sensations. You are eager, full of desire for the sensations, do your part to inspire and form the sensations, then you let the sensations take over from that point.

You mentioned being in a state of bliss for 2 minutes. This has been referred to as the "bliss cocoon". It's often a fantastic embodiment of radical ecstasy. You're reacher higher levels by simply allowing them to carry you up. Hot air balloon indeed!
Please keep posting updates. You are sharing not only amazing results, but amazing lessons as well. When I see posts such as yours, I get excited. I get inspired. I want to get my Eupho out and share and revel in the same ecstasy levels as you. Please keep encouraging yourself and others. You said you lurked on the boards for a while, and I can see you only have 3 "posts". I highly encourage, and always will, that everyone post in the forum. Ask questions. Seek answers. Share success. Share struggles! No matter what "experience level", think about getting involved here and in the chat sessions. Twl has set up an amazing "unofficial" chat that I think has become quiet "official" in our hearts and lives. Spyeg, looking forward to the next posts and stage of this journey my friend! Much peace and love brother.

Funny, how we as MEN think that we must be in control at all times, lest someone think less of us. Your I am I is one of the most truest of statements, I am my own worst session wrecker sometimes. Also another thing I have found about my journey is that patience truly is a virtue. The moment I get impatient and try to control things instead of letting them happen, poof!!!

Teeder

Honestly, Rikaaim's post just made me realize that while we all share in the same journey, the path that we take through this journey is a very personal one. We all have different obstacles (both physical and mental) that make each journey unique, but that doesn't mean that they don't resonate with other's experiences. I used to take EVERYTHING that was said on the forums to be the absolute truth, and tried incorporating the ideas into my own sessions. My problem with doing that was that I was ignoring the personal aspects of my own journey to try and discover a shortcut to the promised land. This was definitely the "aha" moment that I needed.

Whether I realized it or not, my sessions were always about "searching" for greater pleasure. While I did enjoy each session for what it was, and kept expectations to a minimum, there was still some goal that I was trying to reach. This is what I meant with "driving the car" instead of "riding in a hot air balloon". I felt like it was up to me personally, like I had total control, over where I wanted (needed) to be, and subconsciously I was getting frustrated and impatient that I hadn't gotten there yet. The first step in understanding a problem is recognizing that the problem exists in the first place, and this realization was a wake up call. It opened my eyes to what the Aneros itself was capable of doing, where it was capable of taking me, instead of where I wanted to go with it. That was my key. That was my moment.


Since then, my sessions have gotten better each and every time, whether I reached any spectacular height or not. I've finally identified certain key milestones that I thought were really nothing. I was ignoring p-waves, ignoring sensations in my pelvic region, ignoring the subtlest of pleasure in obvious (and not so obvious places) because I was expecting so much more. Now, the slightest p-wave is enough to get my excitement revved up. I notice the slightest quivering in all my limbs, in my belly, in my chest, and they entice pleasure without consciously thinking about it. All these things, while I still felt and acknowledged them, were being dismissed as being insignificant to the goal. Once I embraced them as part of the goal is when I started getting the most out of my sessions.


This has been life-changing, and not just in a sexual way. I find myself noticing everything about my mind and body now. Certain emotions are amplified when I begin focusing on the feelings they cause. I can alter my mindset simply by redirecting my energies to a more desirable emotion. These spiritual aspects were definitely unexpected when I started this journey, and they are still so new that I'm excited about the possibilities. The gratitude I feel towards the product, the company, and this community are so immense that I can't even begin to describe it. It is a sense of belonging, a sense of love, that I've never quite known before. However, I am glad to have discovered these feelings, and am proud to be a part of this community.

Spyeg:

CONGRATULATIONS!
Your post is brilliant. I'm very happy that you have discovered this for yourself and are sharing it with others. You state exactly what the journey is all about and speak volumes the the "awakening" of not only the prostate by oneself as well. I hope others can see their "Aha!" moment in your words.

Alright, so there's been some significant progress these past two weeks, and just want to document what's happened so far.

Getting positive feedback loops on a regular basis now. None have been quite runaway like the first week, but they are still pleasant. My 'less sessions have been taking off and are becoming more eventful than regular sessions. The reason is because I'm able to put more focus onto all of the sensations being generated as opposed to just the prostate and anal area. This should change with time as I learn to relax more and am able to have regular sessions that focus on the full body experience. Thankfully, my 'less sessions are a good practice to getting to that state.


Anyway, this week I've been focusing on deep breathing and the effects on my mental state. My feelings towards deep breathing were somewhat downplayed, as it's always just been about air and nothing else (you don't breathe, you die). Obviously, there's more to it, but I never quite made that connection outside of the physical need. By focusing on deep belly breathing, I instead imagined what the air was doing for my body. Inhaling provides more than just oxygen, it provides the body with energy. Exhaling, also provides the means for expelling the negative energies collected in the body (for whatever mental/physical reasons).


In visualizing that each breath was not necessarily just for "survival" but for exchanging of energies, I've discovered a whole new aspect to my being. I feel more in tune with what my body is feeling, how it's running, and in general just more in tune with all the various energies running through my self. This first realization came during a drive to work. I found myself getting rather frustrated due to traffic, and decided to try to redirect these feelings to a more desirable mental state. After only 5 minutes of deep breathing, I came back to the present and found myself grinning uncontrollably. This pleased me even further, because I was able to successfully put into practice the discoveries I mentioned in my last post. What was unexpected, however, were these happy feelings to cascade into full body euphoria that settled on my head for a whole minute. This was all before I even got to work in the morning, and there was still so much more that happened!


I had hit my reset switch the previous night by ejaculating, as my arousal was getting a bit out of hand during sessions. As such, I resolved to try and maintain focus on my life and work for several days to let my mind and body have a break from the Aneros. Needless to say, I wouldn't be writing anymore if I was able to maintain my resolution, but I'm glad I didn't. On chat, a user was describing a rather productive session he was in the process of having, which fueled another user to having a 'less session (and a subsequent chairgasm). Well, this got my engine going as I was reading what was happening, and we had an energy sharing session (me and twlltin having a 'less session, cyrez having a regular session). It was so intense! I could feel the energy coming from both of them, and it fueled my session further than it's been before, which fueled the other guys even further in their sessions. After the most amazing p-waves, several mini-O's, and the biggest stretch of my life, I was in a state of bliss for an hour afterwards. I've heard others mention this sort of energy sharing before, but this was the first time I was present to witness it (let alone be part of it). This left me with quite a bit of sexual energy that fueled a 'less session for the rest of my work day, but the fun didn't stop there.


I do a lot of introspection on my drives, as I have about 30-45 minutes that I can usually relax and enjoy the drive. My commute is so routine that I literally drive on auto-pilot for most of the time and can be completely elsewhere in my thoughts or focus (still maintain enough focus on what's happening around me to avoid dangers). As I've been focusing on breathing this week, and had amazing results with it in the morning, decided to see what sort of results I could get with more than 5 minutes. The entire drive was spent doing deep belly breathing until I got home. I did a quick mental check on my physical state to see how this deep relaxation affected my body, and found all the muscles from my anus to my chest quiverring. Didn't notice this as I was driving, but just decided to relax into it and see what would happen. What transpired next all happened within the span of 2 minutes.


An incredible p-wave came over me, stronger than anything I've ever experienced, and washed over my whole body (from toes to chest and back down again). The sensations wouldn't stop growing, and a dull throb began to build in my stomach. At this point, it was incredibly difficult to stay relaxed, but I was just letting myself fall into the sensations and stopped trying force the relaxation. This caused the sensation in my stomach to grow in intensity so quickly, that it started to spread upwards into my chest. This caused the "terror at the gates" sensation that others mention, and frightened me so much because of how quickly it overcame me, that it brought the session back down. Again, this all happened in the span of 2 minutes, which is part of why it scared me so much. After that, I relaxed into the p-waves for several more minutes, and felt physically spent as they grew smaller in intensity. Once I felt I could walk straight was when I finally left my car, but this left me drained both physically and mentally.


The fun didn't end there, though. On this particular day of the week, I go to the gym for an hour (a dance class with the wife). When we get home, we decide to turn in a bit earlier than usual, and I helped her get to sleep with a nice leg massage. The physical exercise perked me up just enough to make it difficult to sleep, and I was still feeling some of the afterglow of my numerous 'less sessions this day. So I decided to have a session with my MGX, and was feeling quite anxious about what the session would be like. I felt a pull to the chat room used my phone to go on the site. After sharing my experiences of the day with everyone present, I decided to cut out to focus on relaxing into my session. Got a few feedback loops, some nice prostate stim, and a lot of p-waves. At some point, I was so relaxed that the sensation in my stomach came back, but it wasn't growing. Instead, what happened next caught me by surprise (for more reasons than one). Nothing changed sensation wise, but my eyes suddenly shot open, and my vision just started going white. My eyes were completely open the entire time, but all I saw was white. A warmth spread over my entire body, and my head was bathed in euphoria. This lasted about 30 seconds, and after it passed I was so excited that I couldn't quiet my mind. The mental noise was too intense, and the session seemed to have been coming to a close sensation wise, that I just decided to call it a night and fell asleep.


On my drive to work this morning, performed some deep breathing again. After about 20 minutes of this, I started feeling the euphoria wash over me again (didn't stop breathing like I did yesterday). I decided to relax into these energies instead of focusing on them (as I usually do to build on the sensations) and was able to just let them flow throughout my body for the remainder of my drive. It was such an amazing feeling to have these energies travel across my body, making stops along the way and focusing on a single area momentarily. Finally got to work, and again, had the biggest grin on my face and could feel all the positive energies flowing through me. I can't remember the last time I've been this happy coming to work in the mornings!


To be honest, I never truly believed that this sort of energy existed or that it can be guided. The concept of chakras, qi/chi, etc. all seemed like a purely mental phenomenon, all in the eye of the beholder. Having experienced the same premise behind these concepts, I can now understand that it's more metaphysical than mental. For me, it was a matter of finding my center, my being, and externalizing it to my conscious awareness. It truly is an amazing realization, that my inner self is more than just my physical being, that it's a part of the universe as a whole. It's a humbling thought, and makes all my problems seem less significant in the grand scheme of things.


All these thoughts seem more like diary entries, so I should really just start a blog...


Edit (10/24): OK, decided to stick these in a blog entry. https://community.aneros.com/display-blog?id=59619
Not sure if I should keep adding on to here or not. There is definitely some wisdom from others posted here, so I'm not sure which direction to take from here on out (posting here or the blog). Guess it'll depend on how long the post/rant is going to be 😛