**Update on using Aneros & Chastity**

Pleeeeease step3!!!!

To everyone their point of view. I see this one as feminist of course but my worldview coincides with conservative Christian perspective. I would disagree on the destructive habit that being if I was always and personally concerned more about my pleasure than hers but I'm not. Even if I let one off daily I am able to perform with enthusiasm 😉 and can accommodate her need. Never been premature, I've trained myself to have them when I desire. So being others first there's been no need to forestall my fulfillment. I learned to to that BY masturbation. Second in regards to obedience and what not the conservative viewpoint and my own taste mandates I am the Dom. Just not I. My nature to sub. As orgasm ejaculation for procreation only, sounds like such a catholic view. Song of Songs takes a different approach. It's for enjoyment and connection, vulnerability and pleasure. If Steve was a selfish dog then he was poorly educated in sex. So many are. If you both find fulfillment in this, many blessings to you.
Bring on step 3 😀

@yankeecowboy, i think what you are missing IMO is that by denying steve orgasm he is constantly highly charged, and always horny. This feeling can be like a "high" caused by dopamine releases. It can become addictive. Its sort of like edging in that it feels great and your almost there but just never go over the edge. These feelings can be incredible. Alot of men who experience this say its usually better then a quick orgasm and then a week or two of no longer being horny at all, though not all men experience the post orgasm feelings the same. Let me try and explain this from my personal perspective and experience with chastity. First of all I am not a submissive, more dominant so obviously my feelings about chastity may differ from steve and rebecca. My wife and I have been married for 14 years. With busy jobs and 3 kids life was always busy and hectic. Our love life was on the outs and we only managed sex about once a month,, sometimes as long as three months. I knew something was wrong but had no clue. Meanwhile all of my friends were getting divorced due to similar love lifes. Lets face it, being married is hard work and takes alot of effort. So l decided to find out ways to improve our love life. I stumbled onto chastity and researched it. It dawned on me that my selfish masturbation was one of the problems. It was too easy to go rub one out then to put the effort into all of the work and desire that my wife required to be in the mood. By the way that was one of my wifes biggest excuses for not wanting sex very often was the fact that she no longer felt that I desired her. But I did desire her just not the work involved lol, I was being lazy in that aspect. Women need to feel wanted and desired to have sex. So we discussed chastity for a while. She had no idea that my masturbation was such a problem. She also liked the idea that if we chose to use chastity that only she could decide how and when I would get an orgasm. So basically no more unsupervised masturbation. That was fair. So we tried it out. My desire and sexual for her went through the roof. So all in all our sex life has improved 100%. I just dont get to masturbate anymore. We are more of a vanilla type of chastity though there are many ways of playing the game, its all up to the players involved and what they want out of it. Is chastity the only solution to our problem or others like me? Nope not at all this just happens to be what worked for us.

How does aneros work into your formula then. Given your imposed chastity. Does that change your desire to ejaculate? Does the aspect of ejaculating really affect your level of desire so much? Am I outside the norm because it doesnt? I am very curious because I have been called insatiable 😀
Not that I see that as bad because it wasn't meant to be taken negatively. Of course there's more to life and love than sex. I just find myself not ever worried about "getting my own" because I can have that whenever I want, that on the emotional relational aspect I enjoy her pleasure exponentially more. I've trained though to be multi orgasmic/multi ejaculate. Perhaps I'm just an insatiable lech......

@yankeecowboy, my wife knows about my aneros use though she wants nothing to do with it. She is one of those that feels the butt is gross and doesnt understand. As for my desire to ejaculate, well that never goes away ha ha. I do desire to ejacualte but thats the great thing about the game of chastity is her being able to tease me with the chance to, when she desires it of course. It's kinda like extended foreplay in a sense. Even though I've had mixed results with aneros use I dont think having dry O's all of the time would stop anyones desire for an ejacualtion IMO. Its not the ejaclation itself that controls my desire, its the hormones that affect me afterwards. Its pretty settled science that after orgasm men have a refractory period where they have no real desire for sex, though you may be different in that aspect. And I say most men, not all. When I ejaculate I have no desire for sex for at least a few days sometimes a week. So from you describe of yourself, yes I would say you are outside of the norm. And I'm only 42 years old. Just a short 4 years ago when I started aneros use my libido was much stronger. Maybe you have some sort of high libido, maybe we should get a group of scientists together to study you ha ha.

Casual Aneros user with an interest in chastity here. A few things I'd like to add...

1. The comments made about the husband's Aneros training are NOT what most people here have done to achieve success with the Aneros. I think it's oversimplified and seems to emphasize more/harder is better, whereas most people here succeed with a "less is more" approach.

2. I've been reading about chastity for years now and there are MANY variations. As posted here some couples are more strict (3-4 orgasms per year), and others are simply using it as a way for their partner to stop or curb their masturbation habits. Although I haven't tried chastity personally, I have kept myself from ejaculating up to 30 days, for me personally I wouldn't want nor need only 4 ejaculations per year to achieve a heightened state of arousal for my partner. It would be more about only being able to cum from oral or pussy, giving up control, and not knowing when or how my next orgasm was going to be, whether that be in a few hours or a few days.

3. Cuckolding is extreme and not practiced by MOST chastity couples. I find it an odd practice related to chastity. I don't see how switching roles has anything to do with the female having sex with someone else. When the husband was dominant was he fucking other women or making her watch? This also applies to cum eating. Was the husband making you eat his cum? What about all the cum he consumes that leaks out of your pussy while giving you oral? To be CLEAR I'm not judging, in fact being made to go down on my partner after cumming in her turns me on, but I just don't see the LOGICAL connection when switching roles and it often seems like revenge and ill spirited by the female. If it was simply switching roles why not simply have the female be the one who initiates and controls sex like a typical male would do. That seems the most logical to me. From there you can be more extreme and add various kinks and fetishes from there.

4. The combination of orgasm delay/denial and Aneros use is a natural progression as keeping arousal levels high are helpful for Aneros use.

5. Personally I fall somewhere in the middle. I would like to explore my partner being in control of our sex lives only. That would include her initiating and control all aspects of sex. I would enjoy being "used" by servicing her orally often as well as penetration when and how she wanted. Such as tying me to the bed and riding me while requiring me to be still in silent. Or something more sensual and erotic where she instructs me to very slowly dress her....having me nude with a collar and having me lay out each piece of clothing on the bed then very very slowly putting each one on her at her instruction.

6. Femdom comes in all shapes in sizes...:)

@hamptonbdsm, good points. I agree with #1. Simply sticking something in your ass will most likely not make you orgasm no matter who much your partner wants or how long you've been denied ejaculation. It simply doesnt work that way for many of us.As for #2 we dont have a schedule. Its whenever she feels like it. Could be a few days or a month for me. When the female makes the male wait longer inbetween its usually more in the realm of power and authority IMO. For me going a year without ejaculation(hypothetically) wouldnt necessarily make me more horny then going two weeks. Unless of course I was teased to the edge constantly, but then I might just go insane lol. I also agree with your other points.
Can I ask why you havent tried it yet? You've been interested for years but never tried it? Just curious.

Can I ask why you havent tried it yet? You've been interested for years but never tried it? Just curious.

A few reasons.

1. I'm in a long term relationship and our "roles" are well established.

2. She's not capable of being Dominant enough to make the dynamic work and not sure she'd be interested either.

3. I've always been Dominant in relationships and the bedroom. Not necessarily in a kink way (sometimes) but just taking charge, initiating, etc. I'm Dominant in a traditional male way.

4. I honestly don't know that I would be able to submit that fully to someone and be my "normal Dominant self" outside the bedroom. I feel like it would mess with the traditional male female dynamic that exists outside the bedroom.

5. If I did try chastity, in the real world I don't think I'd be able to wear it full time. Having to sit down to pee, being found out (especially with a belt which appeal to me the most), and clashing with a very active lifestyle wouldn't be possible. Although as I stated earlier, most couples are somewhere in the middle and aren't kept locked 24/7, so it's reasonable to think if I were belted I would be allowed to unlock if I was going somewhere or doing something that it could be a problem. I would want a belt for her to control me, not to have my life controlled or impacted by the belt, if that makes sense.

6. I did purchase a CB3000 chastity device a few years ago. It was fun to play around with it but it wouldn't serve as a serious device for me.

Ah ok. Well its not for everybody. But I must say I'm also more dominant in our relationship and just because we play chastity doesnt mean I am submissive to her. She just controls when I orgasm, thats it. No more no less. Now I can see how some might say that in itself is being submissive. But to be honest when we started this she said she liked me being the man of the house and she didnt want to change that aspect in any way.

Hope everyone had a good Easter. 🙂

I will reply to some of the statements tomorrow as well as Step# 3.

I do want to note something, Steve is the one who initiated all of this. This, in the beginning, was all his idea, and I went along with it to make him happy. It just so happens that I ended up liking it, and made it my own.

Steve wants me to control his orgasms and push him to his limits, that is what he enjoys and so do I. I just probably push him further than what he would like, but that is all part of it. 🙂

Its not like Steve does not have orgasms, he has plenty of them. Its just that none of them are "penile" induced. He has had 1 penile induced orgasm so far this year.

What we basically practice is called "semen retention", but with a femdom kicker to it.

Here is an article about it; http://rwddh.blogspot.com/2016/03/im-40-years-old.html

Its not the most informative, but you will get the idea. There are much better articles out there if you want to know more, just search for"semen retention".

Rebecca

@steve5763. Hi Rebecca, thank you for sharing. I wish when we were younger we had the information, encouragement and made the opportunity to explore more. Currently, even at my great age, we are keeping the energy high. I have taken on board some of the ideas you have expressed, the concept of retention has been expressed on this forum before but you have made sense of it for me. Thank you.

@steve5763. Hi Rebecca, thank you for sharing. I wish when we were younger we had the information, encouragement and made the opportunity to explore more.

I feel the same way, all the years we were missing out on all of this. 🙁

Rebecca

Thanks to Tibetan Tantra for this article:

Semen retention is the practice of abstaining from ejaculation…
Ancient
philosophies and medical practices from Asia and India have long
claimed that semen retention leads to better health and longer life…
Semen, which is in essence the very life-force of a man, must be retained in the body to maintain a man’s health…
Ejaculation
reduces the life-force available to a man, which is evident from the
immediate drop in energy and generally depressed nature, which can be
observed after ejaculating…
Semen is a complex mixture of
calcium, phosphorus, lecithin, cholesterol, albumin, and nucleoproteins.
When it is retained, it is re-absorbed into the body, where it is used
to directly support the brain and central nervous system. This improves
their function, making you more focused and confident.
Sexual energy
created during arousal must also be transmuted, to take full advantage
of semen retention. Transmutation allows sexual energy to be used for
the benefit of a man, and not released in such a way as to harm him.
Techniques that have been used to transmute sexual energy include
pranayama, meditation, mantra, and prayer. Physical activities, such as
exercise, are also useful ways to transmute sexual energy…
What are the Benefits of Semen Retention?
There
are many benefits to semen retention for physical health, mental health
and spiritual awareness. Some of the more common ones include:
-Physical: increased energy and drive, boosted immune system, cures erectile dysfunction, prevents premature ejaculation.
-Mental: more confidence, improved memory, more decisive.
-Spiritual: calmer and less prone to anger, more connected to spiritual nature, control over material urges.

Why practice Semen Retention?
Better sex! As
strange as it may sound, semen retention improves your sex life.
Frequent sexual arousal, without ejaculation, builds stamina and
self-control. Self-control that allows you to last as long as necessary.
Men that do not practice semen retention will usually last two to seven
minutes before ejaculating, leaving the woman less than satisfied…
Women
prefer a man that can last as long as she can. Sexual gratification
usually takes longer for a woman to achieve. If a man is able to
maintain sexual arousal for as long as he desires, it not only allows
the woman to reach climax, it heightens the expectation of more climaxes
to come. In the end, a longer lasting you will make a happier Her…
Steve

I have taken on board some of the ideas you have expressed, the concept of retention has been expressed on this forum before but you have made sense of it for me. Thank you.

You are very much welcome. 🙂 🙂

Rebecca

Sorry for the delay, here is Step# 3.

This is to be repeated the same as the others, until it happens consecutively 7 days in a row, only after Step# 2 has been completed.

1. Find a "metronome" App on your phone.

2. Set it for "20". (this is the beat you will be fucking him in rhythm to)

3. Start with your "cock" fully inserted all the way, Start the metronome. Each beat represents a "full out" & "full in" stroke. Meaning that at the time of each beat, you should have pulled out and then push back in by the time the beat sounds. At each beat you should have your "cock" buried into him.

4. This "slow" pace will eventually force him to have his "orgasm", the goal is the same as before, under 5 minutes.

5. Remember, make sure he thanks you by swallowing the results. 🙂

6. Continue until he can "orgasm" for 7 days in a row.

I do hope people are finding this helpful. 🙂 🙂

Rebecca

@steve5763 Just saw this thread, I know its old. I am loving how Rebecca has Steve wrapped around her little finger. Are you guys still in FLR and actively practicing the life style?

@steve5763 Since Rebecca wants us to ask you embarrassing questions, could you please answer these questions in detail.

• Describe your feelings/emotions while your wife was cuckolding you. For example, how you felt when your wife was fucking a BBC? Did Rebecca make you swallow her bull's cum? Did she make you do degrading/humiliating task in front of her bull? Did the bull humiliate you (if not, then would you have liked the bull to humiliate you)? Did Rebecca use strapon on you while she was seeing BBC, if so how did it feel, did it feel like she was cheating on you?
• Describe your feelings/emotions while your wife is fucking you with her big strapon? How does it feel for a big strong man like you to be moaning and begging her to fuck you till you cum?
• Has chastity made you accept your feminine side? Well, with all the anal orgasm your are getting from your wife fucking you, do you feel like the "wife", and how was that changed you psychologically? If she makes you wear panties, are you (psychologically) man enough to say no to her? 

Please answer these questions, I have more for you.

Sangeeta.

I hate to flog an old, dead thread, but I doubt you will get a reply. Additionally, the original posts sound a little too much like erotica than an actual relationship. The first clue is; women can’t force men into chastity and servitude. FLR and chastity is most often the man’s idea. This reads like the standard, male Femdom fantasy.

I am in an FLR and have been for five years. It includes full-time chastity and occasional domestic discipline and bondage. It does not include cross dressing or slavery. No cuckolding, but we do have one large dildo that is developing a personality, so it might be a bit of a fantasy.

We do not present ourselves as anything different than a typical couple. And in truth, we aren’t.

What is different, is we are very close. We don’t have the usual sexual mismatches that often occur in a long term relationship. We don’t have arguments. We don’t waste time deciding who is responsible for what chores. If I didn’t want to do this, I have a machine shop full of tools that can remove a cage in a flash. I say in a flash, but I doubt I would use the cutting torch.

And, we have a LOT of sex and teasing. Except, mostly I don’t get to climax. She does, a lot. She likes to keep me aroused and desperate. Yes, it certainly helps with Aneros sessions. Through rewiring, I have developed very sensitive nipples that she puts to good use.

Like most things, there are many different styles of FLRs. Those couples I know in FLRs, are very happy. Everything just seems easier. It seems natural.

Xileh

@steve5763 What does an anal orgasm feel like?  It is mentioned many times in this tread and in various femdom blogs that I've read.  Guys in those relationships who are pegged say they get one, but what are they like? You know when you've at a traditional orgasm with the pulsing in the prostate and the ejaculate that follows. How would you describe the sensations when you have an anal orgasm and how do you know you've had one? 

@xileh Please do tell more about the large dildo that's developing personality.

What chastity device do you use?