Three years: changes, but much of the same? help!

IMHO...Sounds like too much focus on physical technique and not enough on mentally focusing on the pleasure and enjoying what your body is giving you. The ride for me has been more of an awareness of my pleasure vs. trying to produce pleasure. I wish you the best!

Jaxsun is so right - I went almost two years before I finally realized that the do nothing and mental focus are keys to both my sessions and my A-less activity. Although I have never reached the Super yet I sure get much closer to that magic land with the do nothing approach. Good Luck

Hey all!

So I have tried everything I know

Did you tried kegels or KSMO? Doing a regular Kegel-Workout was one of my major milestones. It helped me to build up sensory awareness and control over my pelvic muscles
(which are more than you might think). KSMO teached me to get in touch
with my nervous system. What the aneros devices do, is stimulating the
nerval cluster of your prostate and thus induce a repetitive pattern of
nerval excitement, also known as pleasure waves. But you can induce
these nerval excitement/pleasure waves completely without the aneros or
any other tool. KSMO is a method that teaches exactly that and many
users find it very helpful. (Compared to the aneros, it seems more
fool-proof.)

Plus - I guess you've read that a dozen times already but let me repeat it just to make sure:
Regard
the aneros as a tool for relaxation rather than arousal. Go into your
session with the mindset as if you expect a massage and not a sexual
act. Relaxation is not just the set up - it's the goal! And
relaxation has no limits, since your natural state of being is tension.
It's so natural that we don't recongnize it consciously. Without that
base tension your wouldn't be able to stand upright, would slip down the
chair you are sitting on, wouldn't hold your excrements. That's why
it's always possible to relax even more, regardless how relaxed you
currently are. Autogenous training is a good way to relax reliably.

Once properly relaxed you have to let go and surrender: let go of expectations and surrender (emotionally) to the sensations you encounter.

Super-O's
are different from the traditional ejaculative orgasms you know. They
do not compare very well, so don't wait for anything to happen you would
recognize. Users often state, that they missed their first (small)
orgasm, because they didn't recognized them as such, while they were
looking and waiting for an imaginary orgasm to happen instead of
appreciating the sensations they already had.

Now I typed way more than I planed... sry for that. If you are still not tired reading my "wisdom", consider reading my post in the My First Super Orgasm... thread.

Cheers, Unfug

As @unfug says you really have to work on mental focus - it shouldn't be an effort though, it's just a matter of blocking out distractions and really concentrating on the pleasure sensations. And I wouldn't be surprised if you are missing the start of an orgasm, that's all about focus too - recognising when the orgasmic sensations start, concentrating on them and building them and RELAXING into them.

These orgasms need a bit of building up they start slow and build in intensity and 'spread out', and suddenly you realise you are having a proper full orgasm. Sometimes it takes some work - concentrating and breathing into it. Plus: you have to give in to it, and let it happen. There's a balance between trying to make it happen and allowing it to happen. I find that concentrating on the point of orgasmic sensation in the pelvis (they vary in location you just have to feel it and keep noticing it), and concentrating on a point in front of the closed eyes helps (a meditation technique).

If it's not happening rest for a few minutes rather than trying to push it.

And BREATHING is really important. Breathe deep into the abdomen, there is a point at which the orgasmic feeling peaks during the inbreath, and sometimes during a deep outbreath, again notice it, concentrate on it and build it mentally. Breathe through the nose, it can make a big difference, numerous teachings on multiple orgasm suggest this and it works.

Slightly controversial view here but I'm not sure that significant relaxation is absolutely necessary. In my opinion a small amount of tension does help with generating an orgasm. I agree that too much tension stops them happening, or leads to a wet orgasm, but a small amount helps. Relaxation proper helps more once you are orgasming, then it's time to start thinking about it so the orgasm spreads and gets better, but you have to have an orgasm first!

Have you tried throwing in a bit of masturbation, perineal massage or nipple stimuation? It can give you the push to trigger an orgasm.