Super "O" on my first use and other experiences I've had in my first year

Howdy y'all. I'm not writing this post to brag: I want to connect with the community and seek clarity in why the prostate orgasm came so swiftly for myself and (possibly?) others. Additionally, my swift progress has brought its own sense of existential dread. I'll discuss that later. My husband had been on his Aneros journey for almost a year before I even tried. He still has not had a prostate orgasm with weekly, if not daily, dedication for over two years. He convinced me to give it a shot. He told me to not stroke my shaft and see how much pleasure I can get from just Kegels. He was out of town so I lubed up the Psy. I immediately had fluttering sensations, involuntary contractions, and was shouting and moaning in just a few minutes. From my very first session I'm convinced I had a super "O", however, my understanding of what the super "O" is seems to be evolving. The super "O" was the most pleasure I had ever experienced, period. But because I have had a super "O" almost every time I use the Aneros, 1-3 times a week for the past year, my idea of the super "O" is changing. I began to identify variables and experiment with new methods that increased the pleasure. Again, every session had intense orgasms but as I began to intensify the super "O" I came around to conceptualizing the lesser orgasm. And don't get me wrong, these "lesser orgasms" are at least equivalent to my very first super "O". In other words, the super "O" continues to get bigger and more intense, and even if I don't hit a new peak, anything less than a super "O" is quite intense for me. I’m capable of quite sizable orgasms with nothing inserted, however I do have a strong preference for the Psy. In fact, we have 4-5 Aneros toys and I find some of them to be irritating. Especially the solid plastic ones. I quickly learned that even if I could have a prostate orgasm anytime I wanted without a toy, I wasn’t very motivated to do so. Instead, I wait for “the call”. This typically happens after consuming marijuana, my prostate will flutter and beckon me quite specifically to reach a new height. This  happens maybe every 2-3 weeks. Here are some facts I’ve observed about my prostate orgasms:

• I cannot seem to reach new heights alone, though I could in the first couple of months. Partnered sex almost always is a prerequisite for the evolving super “o”. God bless my partner who has seen me shout like a caveman in primal ecstasy, to include drooling, eyes crossing, body shaking like a seizure, and other fucking weird shit. Interestingly, when I activate my prostate, I almost always never involuntarily ejaculate. It's as if a switch had been flicked and I can let go for intense penile orgasms without ejaculating. I get most pleasure from handjobs these days. (I never thought I’d say that!)
• My orgasms start in the prostate, but through the use of creative visualization I have been able to move them to other parts of my body. I’ve had “mind” orgasms, “penis” orgasms, “back” orgasms, and other muscle orgasms. Spine and core activation are particularly intense.
• Fake it til you make it. Sometimes I have to moan, rock my body, breathe deeply and start going through the symptoms of high pleasure in order to activate it more quickly. It’s almost as if my nervous system mimics my experiences of the super orgasm, which in turn actualizes the experience, causing the pleasure to ignite like lightning through my body. In other words, I create the possibility so that what I seek may enter.. I find a lot of this hard to explain. 
• I practice semen retention as taught by Mantak Chia. Basically, a man my age (32) should avoid ejaculating more than once a week. When I am weak and ejaculating every other day or so, my prostate orgasms absolutely tank. When I am retained at 1-2 weeks, I’m pretty normal (most of this past year has been at the 1 week mark on average). 3+ weeks is incredible. I am actually experimenting with the idea of avoiding ejaculation altogether because my prostate orgasms well exceed the pleasure of any ejaculatory orgasm. But semen retention absolutely is a large factor.
• Marijuana use. I’ve always been that guy who is sensitive to marijuana. A few hits and I’m either seeing energy (with my "spiritual eye", never hallucinations) or having a panic attack. The biggest super “O” I’ve ever experienced was a few days ago with the “try nothing” method after consuming marijuana. This session was so intense it brought me here to share my story.

The other day my super “O” was so intense that I was taken over by fear. I almost lost consciousness (from pleasure, not fear. That came after). I could not imagine what could be more pleasurable than what I was experiencing. This struck me to the core and I completely retreated. I’ve had several super “O’s” that resulted in sobbing emotions, and even psychic visions, but this was different. After this session I went to journal my experience and had no words for it other than poetic verse. Please bear with me, I’m no Rob Frost.

Night before dark moon,

you decided to try a new thing.

Rest you induced,

but excitement arose.

The paradox strong

And reverberated ecstasy.

You trembled in fear under its swift weight.

Fright entered and saw you to the bone.

The mist swirled in your head,

Making you chase your breath:

How could it progress?!

And behind that door you might just

push too far

and no longer remember who you

“seemingly”

are. 

This was my first time attempting the ”try nothing” method. I had never felt a need to try it before because my Kegels brought pleasure so swiftly. Success with the “try nothing” method proved to be frighteningly orgasmic... Has anyone else experienced fear? Could this pleasure be so intense it tears away my ego? Has anyone experienced this? Has my sensitive nature amplified my experiences? I would appreciate any input. I’m more than happy to answer questions too. I’ve had literally dozens of incredible experiences. Thanks guys.