prior planning prevents piss poor results

Spouse got a sudden call last night to join friends for a weekend religious retreat to contemplate Lent, leaving me with just the dog and my toys. I shall also contemplate lint (aka belly button fuzz).

Checklist & status:
-- Lay in supply of sports drinks & fruit ... done
-- All aneros tools get a run through through dishwasher ... done
-- Dildo and rectal explorer found and cleaned ... done
-- Lube shooters cleaned and sterilized ... done
-- Prepare fresh batch of Shea+Coconut lube ... 12 doses now cooling
-- small cup of Crisco and jar of Vaseline inside nite stand ... done
-- small bottle of Olive Oil inside nitestand ... done
-- Answering machine cleared of all messages. Phones in back of house disconnected ... done
-- Extra towels, fully charged laptop, mp3 gear, assorted vibes in table by bed ... done
-- Fresh batteries in remote control for bedroom ceiling fan ... done
-- Spare batts for Vice and other vibes in nite stand ... done
-- Fleshlight sleeve changed to 'original' and bottle of ID Glide in nitestand ... done
-- Select mp3 files for audio ... done
-- Shave perineum & clear out lower half of colon ... next to be done
-- Large bowl with damp washcloths by bed ... to be done
-- Bucket (aka chamber-pot) for used tools & toys by bed ... to be done
-- Shower ...
-- Session #1 .............. 😀