OMFG. It happened!

As background, Im 53/M and have been playing anally for most of my life, and while it has always felt good, I’ve never come close to any sort of orgasm from it.  In the last 4-5 months I became aware of Mindgasm, which I started practicing, and then discovered and added on several other new and FUN approaches to pleasure, including erotic hypnosis, Aneros play and lately, nipple stimulation.  I have approached all of these as the minimum, ways of enhancing my body’s ability to feel pleasure, while knowing in the background that they all could help me someday get to a Super-Orgasm.  I’ve had a wonderful time with each of them, with each having periods of growth and great pleasure, but I never got to “the promised land” until yesterday…

As a side factor, my wife and I recently decided that for the first time (we're in our 50s) we would like try something "edible" IYKWIMAITYD. As novices, we wanted to be responsible and methodical in our approach to ensure nobody has a bad time so yesterday I was the “canary in the coal mine” so to speak since I did not have work. I had some around 1pm and I spent most of the early afternoon sort of monitoring how I felt (which was pretty darn nice) and seeing where things were going.

After a few hours I felt like the buzz was very slightly receding and I remembered then that many folks say being in “that” altered state had helped them slip into the “state of bliss" associated with prostate orgasms, etc. so hatched a plan and excused myself, telling my wife I was going to take some time to lie down to try to really focus inward on my experience. I went upstairs, got in bed and centered my attention in my pelvic erogenous zone. Soon I started getting light shudders and occasional convulsions but it didn't seem to be building up - it was just staying put.

I decided to grab an Aneros just to see if anything changed. I put in my Maximus and it felt pretty much just as it has - sort of clinical or matter of fact and without any clear feelings of “pleasure” - more like “there's a thing in my butt and if feels sort of overtly good-ish but nothing special”.  I would occasionally get brief flashes of sensation that were powerful but sort of uncomfortable, almost like someone had pushed a wooden popsicle stick into my ass, and the upper portion was rubbing against something, and sometimes like it was getting clenched down upon in-between the muscles involved with my “Center” (for any Mindgasm practitioners).

As I kept going it kept occasionally activating that spot and I thought, "Huh - that's an interesting sensation!". It still felt like a clinical feeling of that popsicle stick, or a finger or hard dildo hitting that same spot.  FWIW, I've felt that same spot probably a a few hundred times but never thought much of it - I always thought was just A spot, and not THE spot.  Ironically, I’ve been super unsure about my prostate for a very long time.  I’ve been sure where it is, unsure which feelings were “it” (if any) because none seemed pleasurable, and I’ve been increasingly worried that maybe I have bad anatomic geometry since nothing has seemed to work.  When I started trying Aneros’ I first bought a Helix Syn Trident but got virtually nothing out of it.  I then bought a Progasm Black Ice thinking maybe I needed something bigger (I semi regularly use plugs up to 2.5” in diameter so I thought perhaps my sphincter was too loose to properly support the flexing the Aneros is designed to leverage) and most recently a Maximus Trident.

None seemed like “it”.  I could get occasional sensations from them, these sensations didn’t feel like pleasure, just incidental contact, or even minor irritation. But yesterday, a few minutes after inserting the Trident all hell broke loose.  Suddenly that feeling of irritation turned into PLEASURE and my prostate tore of its mask and screamed IT'S PARTY TIME!  There was suddenly NO DOUBT where my prostate is and that it could feel REALLY, REALLY GOOD….

As I writhed around in ecstasy, I soon discovered that my prostate apparently owns a smaller version of my pelvis that's just inside my actual pelvis, and it’s purely under HIS command, not mine. That smaller pelvis started bucking and spasming, grinding “the spot" against the Aneros is a crazed fashion. I'm not lying when I say I was completely along for the ride. For a moment I had a fleeting anxious thought that I didn't know how I could physically stop things - it felt like I was inside an uncontrollable chain reaction of intense pleasure causing a physical spasm that resulted in even more pleasure, over and over and over again, and that my conscious mind had no active participation in...

Then a wave crashed over my thoughts and all of me was just THERE.  I was  INSIDE that moment and that feeling. There was no more thinking, just feeling.  And it just kept going in crazy waves that grew and fell and grew again. Madness.  It went on endlessly and I just couldn’tt believe it was real, or even possible…

During a lull (when I briefly shot the Aneros out of my ass like a cannonball during a HUGE convulsion) I called down to my wife and asked her to come up to me. This is not normally something I would have done (our sex lives have been something that has not come easy between us, and there are barriers between us that way, but we love each other, and we're still trying) but I wanted her to be there with me, so that we could experience this TOGETHER. I just knew that I wanted badly to share this with her. I somehow knew that if she could see me this way as it was happening she might better understand and be more open to breaking down other barriers between us. 

She came up, and it was AMAZING! She stayed with me, and touched me, and watched me convulse for probably 25 minutes as wave over wave slammed into me and took me. She even started lightly stroking my nipples and torso, and watched it push me over the edge, again, and again, and again.

It was the craziest thing I've ever experienced. It was absolutely amazing. And It could have gone on forever I think.  Holy hell.

And the REALLY bonkers thing is that I still think I’ve only really taken the first step. My head was exploding in bliss, but there was still maybe the barest of barriers that seemed to keep me tethered to “control”.  I think a little part of me was just shocked and fearful of how crazy things could get.  So many of you have talked about not knowing how it could possibly feel any better once you finally slipped over into “Super O land” only for it to keep ramping up and up to higher and higher levels. I think I was only at level 0.9 to maybe 1.5 and it was AWESOME! Holy cow....

In the end I spent a big part of the afternoon and evening “in the zone” experimenting with learning to sort of “drive” the pleasure I was feeling.  I learned that I could make it grow and fade.  There is this absolutely AMAZING zone of pleasure that I can only describe as that f’ing FANTASTIC and INTENSE pleasure phase you pass through as you experience the “tipping point” between the building arousal and the actual orgasm/ejaculation during a “traditional” penile orgasm.  Except instead of it being that fleeting sensation that lasts a moment as you fall of the cliff and cross into the spasms of orgasm and ejaculation, I could just bring myself into that state and sit there inn the middle of all that pleasure indefinitely.  It was SO CRAZY.  And I could grow it and feel spasms come on at will, or pull back.  I found I could move the pleasure around my body to different spots, making it fill my head, or my groin.  Just CRAZY stuff.  And it was just there for me, happy to do whatever I asked of it.

At one point I decided to move on from the Trident and to try the Progasm to see if the other models could also feel good.  THEY CAN!  The Progasm felt awesome, and was definitely hitting the right spots.  And last night when I went to bed I slipped in the Helix Sun Trident and it was AMAZING.  I’m just floored that all three of these toys feel completely different to me in  like the blink of an eye…. Suddenly I feel like the Helix is just practically wrapped around my prostate as if it was molded just for my anatomy, where before it just felt like a foreign object sitting inside me.  I know I keep saying this, but it’s BONKERS…

Final thought: I feel like even though many before me, and now I, too, try to describe how “to get there", it feels like words are just the crudest of tools to make maps to this city of gold. There's no way to do any better though using just words to describe such elusive feelings. In the end trying to explain the progression of feelings that got me there is like telling someone "I'm going to walk you into a theater filled with 2000 people and I'm going to ask you to identify a person in the crowd purely based on the following verbal description I’ll give you: he's a white male, 6 feet tall with a beard and brown hair. Ok - which one is he?!!! “ FIND HIM!”

I mean, there's no way. 

But if I showed you the guy, like walked him up and introduced him to your and then I showed you a high resolution picture taken from right beside where you had been standing looking out into the crowd you'd then easily be able to say "THERE HE IS! HE WAS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME THAT WHOLE TIME!". 

It's like once you know his face he’s easy to find.  Once you see the matrix you realize it's been there waiting for you the whole time and you can't unsee it. And now that I know these feelings I think I’ll be able to bring them out again and again!  Although I will say that I was a bit afraid to bring things to a close so to speak.  First, it felt so good I just didn't want it to end, but I also harbor some fear that finding my way back might be elusive, so I didn’t want to stop for fear of it being gone forever…

It's crazy to me that I KNOW that I've touched that spot that I know know without a doubt is my prostate and felt that “uncomfortable” feeling MANY times, but I never realized THAT WAS THE FREAKING SPOT! In retrospect I also realize that maybe it should have been obvious since that was really the ONLY spot anywhere in the vicinity of where my prostate could have been that I ever felt ANYTHING (to be clear, I had never until yesterday thought I'd located my prostate.  I thought maybe I had weird anatomy that made it hard or impossible to stimulate my prostate with my Aneros’). But it’s SO CRAZY that in the span of like a second and a half it went from "I'm the spot that feels kinda uncomfortable when you touch it" to a sexual volcano was just having its way with me. I just knew right away that I was DONE FOR (in the best possible way...).

Ok. End rant. WOW.

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who helped me along my journey to find this place!

If anyone has questions or if I can help in ANY way, just let me know!