Just over 2 years..still no Super O

Yeah that extended stress is pretty fucked. I had some bad years during Covid, I still feel damaged from the experience. What I wish I'd started sooner was lifting weights again. Though that's easier said than done when it's the last thing you feel like doing. Supposedly it's good for burning off stress. I guess it's one thing I can control amidst the chaos and punishing externalities.

I did use THC often during that time, and I really don't know what to make of it... in one way it sucked me into a spiral of dependence, but in another way it was a mental-vacation for a few hours. I feel more positive about quitting it and starting to work out again... it feels like rebuilding. THC also has a reputation for making people socially-withdraw, which is maybe another reason to avoid it.

Hey man this is good to hear and your thread is perfectly fine!! I think it's probably needed for a lot of us to think about and reflect on considering a lot of men have had major bullshit happen to us. I can't seem to get ahead at all, year after year, some client of mine is straight fucking me over to the point of losing tens of thousands of dollars. I get ahead, some fucktard fucks me over, I'm 10x behind. The roller coaster of life is windy enough, not to have people you supposedly trust, and actually like as people, ruin you. I do lots of meditation and it helps. But at some point its got to give.

If its any sign of hope for you, it took me 10 years to finally realize, not achieve, a hands-free prostate orgasm. I maybe had them already, but I thought and believed a HFWO WAS a prostate orgasm. I was so wrong. It took a 15 day break from cumming, an anal session with my wife on day 10 (I think it was day 10), and a more clear head to realize what the hell prostate orgasms actually were. Mind you, this was like 3 months before my wife was diagnosed with oral cancer, which turned our lives, not to mention our sex lives, completely upside down. But, I learned a new thing, prostate orgasms literally on demand, once I gave up trying to have them so hard, and focused my attention inward on me, into me, and not on external stimuli to "get me there."  

I have had Aless orgasms before and they are pretty cool. But I rely on toys to propel me into raw orgasmic prostate bliss. Maybe Aless Os and even whole sessions can be warm ups to sessions with toys, like a "teasing yourself" practice that makes you really hot for the real--toys--thing? 

I used, more so abused, cannabis for most of my adult life. I'd toke up right before a session and bliss the F out for over an hour and orgasms flowed like water. I still miss those kinds of sessions. But the mental tuning out by way of a drug didn't help my stress, problems, issues, or whatever. I used cannabis to numb my mind and sadly my body's reaction to my mind to achieve sexual pleasure. But that sexual pleasure wasn't healing me or rebuilding me. My wife used to smoke too, then after cancer it was vaping flowers in a really nice vaporizer. But due to work she just cold turkey quit. Her sex drive took a major hit because she would get super high with me and we'd have wild sexual adventures all the time. I used to use cannabis for all sex play, with her and solo with my penis and/or prostate. I quit porn March 2021 (I still look at it from time to time but I don't use it when I play with myself and I haven't used it during prostate sessions since 2014 actually) so cannabis helped me learn myself sexually for the first time since I was like 18, about 30 years ago. It was a great time to experience self pleasure without a screen!

That was until I decided to quit weed too shortly after my wife quit a year and a half ago. I didn't think I'd be able to do sessions anymore. I tried, it was...weird. But, I had some Os and it was okay. Then I started meditating before my sessions, something I never did because I used weed as a mediation instead. I could get grounded and into myself more this way. And I found that my sober sessions were extremely powerful and actually so much better than with weed. (I also realized that weed was drying me out and prostate milking, precum, and my cumshot at the end of sessions through a Super T were all drier and not as wet and less volume, so not smoking makes things wetter and better!) 

You are going through some major shit OP. I hope I never experience divorce, my wife and I have been a strong unit for 25 years now and things are good. She's in menopause, her body is not reacting the way we both want it to for sex, we have ups and downs with sex, and its the long waiting game for us both as her doctors keep tweaking her thyroid meds and HRT doses. Soon we hope her libido will be closer to mine, which is on overdrive. If my libido is a 100 she's like between 30 and 80 depending on...we don't know! 

What sucks is that you are alone in all of this, but you are here online and I think we're a good support group when needed! Next session you embark on, try breathing with your eyes closed for even just 5 minutes, and center your thoughts on you sitting there. If you think of something, go back to you sitting there, really visualize yourself just sitting there and breathing, it can help. Try to have session/s without THC. That way you don't become dependent on your prostate pleasure being fixed to THC. I hope whatever I wrote here helps even 1%!

Posted by: @clenchy

↑

Yeah that extended stress is pretty fucked. I had some bad years during Covid, I still feel damaged from the experience. What I wish I'd started sooner was lifting weights again. Though that's easier said than done when it's the last thing you feel like doing. Supposedly it's good for burning off stress. I guess it's one thing I can control amidst the chaos and punishing externalities.

I did use THC often during that time, and I really don't know what to make of it... in one way it sucked me into a spiral of dependence, but in another way it was a mental-vacation for a few hours. I feel more positive about quitting it and starting to work out again... it feels like rebuilding. THC also has a reputation for making people socially-withdraw, which is maybe another reason to avoid it.

Thank yoU so much for the reply and suggestion.  I do a fair bit of cardio (I run 30 mins every weekday) and mix in weights as much as I can but I've had some shoulder damage on a tendon so I can only lift light weights now.  That leaves me with very little muscle definition but I always think it would be worse if I didn't.  I pretty much do all the cardio to offset my weekend beers.  😉  It does help with stress for sure, but also gets me out of my office at work for 30 mins to avoid things. 

THC..I don't want to depend on it..but the only times I felt really good and have my meagre 2 HFWO's were with THC capsules.  I prefer not to but it really did seem to activate some nice feelings.

Posted by: @techpump

↑

Hey man this is good to hear and your thread is perfectly fine!! I think it's probably needed for a lot of us to think about and reflect on considering a lot of men have had major bullshit happen to us. I can't seem to get ahead at all, year after year, some client of mine is straight fucking me over to the point of losing tens of thousands of dollars. I get ahead, some fucktard fucks me over, I'm 10x behind. The roller coaster of life is windy enough, not to have people you supposedly trust, and actually like as people, ruin you. I do lots of meditation and it helps. But at some point its got to give.

If its any sign of hope for you, it took me 10 years to finally realize, not achieve, a hands-free prostate orgasm. I maybe had them already, but I thought and believed a HFWO WAS a prostate orgasm. I was so wrong. It took a 15 day break from cumming, an anal session with my wife on day 10 (I think it was day 10), and a more clear head to realize what the hell prostate orgasms actually were. Mind you, this was like 3 months before my wife was diagnosed with oral cancer, which turned our lives, not to mention our sex lives, completely upside down. But, I learned a new thing, prostate orgasms literally on demand, once I gave up trying to have them so hard, and focused my attention inward on me, into me, and not on external stimuli to "get me there."  

I have had Aless orgasms before and they are pretty cool. But I rely on toys to propel me into raw orgasmic prostate bliss. Maybe Aless Os and even whole sessions can be warm ups to sessions with toys, like a "teasing yourself" practice that makes you really hot for the real--toys--thing? 

I used, more so abused, cannabis for most of my adult life. I'd toke up right before a session and bliss the F out for over an hour and orgasms flowed like water. I still miss those kinds of sessions. But the mental tuning out by way of a drug didn't help my stress, problems, issues, or whatever. I used cannabis to numb my mind and sadly my body's reaction to my mind to achieve sexual pleasure. But that sexual pleasure wasn't healing me or rebuilding me. My wife used to smoke too, then after cancer it was vaping flowers in a really nice vaporizer. But due to work she just cold turkey quit. Her sex drive took a major hit because she would get super high with me and we'd have wild sexual adventures all the time. I used to use cannabis for all sex play, with her and solo with my penis and/or prostate. I quit porn March 2021 (I still look at it from time to time but I don't use it when I play with myself and I haven't used it during prostate sessions since 2014 actually) so cannabis helped me learn myself sexually for the first time since I was like 18, about 30 years ago. It was a great time to experience self pleasure without a screen!

That was until I decided to quit weed too shortly after my wife quit a year and a half ago. I didn't think I'd be able to do sessions anymore. I tried, it was...weird. But, I had some Os and it was okay. Then I started meditating before my sessions, something I never did because I used weed as a mediation instead. I could get grounded and into myself more this way. And I found that my sober sessions were extremely powerful and actually so much better than with weed. (I also realized that weed was drying me out and prostate milking, precum, and my cumshot at the end of sessions through a Super T were all drier and not as wet and less volume, so not smoking makes things wetter and better!) 

You are going through some major shit OP. I hope I never experience divorce, my wife and I have been a strong unit for 25 years now and things are good. She's in menopause, her body is not reacting the way we both want it to for sex, we have ups and downs with sex, and its the long waiting game for us both as her doctors keep tweaking her thyroid meds and HRT doses. Soon we hope her libido will be closer to mine, which is on overdrive. If my libido is a 100 she's like between 30 and 80 depending on...we don't know! 

What sucks is that you are alone in all of this, but you are here online and I think we're a good support group when needed! Next session you embark on, try breathing with your eyes closed for even just 5 minutes, and center your thoughts on you sitting there. If you think of something, go back to you sitting there, really visualize yourself just sitting there and breathing, it can help. Try to have session/s without THC. That way you don't become dependent on your prostate pleasure being fixed to THC. I hope whatever I wrote here helps even 1%!

Thank you so much for your reply.  I admit I kind of just wanted a bit of a boost from some people I share an interest with.  But any tips to help me relax and get there are very welcome. I do have trouble relaxing and clearing my mind so I will certainly try the relaxation suggestion you gave. 

Wow you and your wife have certainly had some challenges!   It sounds like between your sessions and sex with your wife, you have had some great experiences!  I hope you can find those again going forward!  Anal session with your wife...is that pegging? 

This past year I have tried medications to help with anxiety/depression because of this bullshit with my ex.  The one that did make me feel a bit of happiness resulted in me being unable to orgasm at all!  My dick just felt numb and I lost my drive.  I decided sex and masturbation were more important to me than reducing anxiety.  :/

Smoking weed would probably do wonders for my anxiety (and sessions) but I just can't smoke, and I hate the smell.  I did try a few times and it felt good and immediate but I was too busy coughing to enjoy it fully.  Gummies or capsules seem to take a while to kick in and don't work the same?  Honestly I'd love a gummy or pill that feels the way a beer buzz feels, but THC seems to have little affect on my relaxation, then if I have too much my inner dialogue is insanely loud and annoying. I can not relax!  I found if I have about 10mg then wait about 3 hours..thats about the right time for a session..but again it's a HFWO session at best (only 2 times did that work).

I have learned a bit on how sex with my boyfriend can feel very good when he's hitting the right spot, but it's never driven me to orgasm unless I have something vibrating on my dick. 

Well my ex wife pissed me off with email fights yesterday (give me more money, give me more money, give me more money) so the interest in sessions I had yesterday will be gone again for a while..sigh.  I'm so trapped..15 years part and I can never be free!!!!!!

Well I did someting stupid last night.  I didn't have any edibles but thought I needed a boost to try to have a session so I baked a tostito with cheese and a couple balls of cannibus (intended for smoking) for about 20 mins.  The tostito and cheese were pretty much burnt up and it smelled but I ate it.  I'm never doing that again!

A couple of hours later I was feeling it so I headed to bed and popped in my Progasm.  It felt very good but I was tripping.  LOTS of animated visuals that differed every time I felt P Waves.  A few times it literally took me somewhere else, or a couple of times I felt a ball of electricity cover my body and hold me down.  VERY likely most of this was a result of too much weed.  When I was able to ground myself a bit I popped in a toys that vibrates but also attaches to the base of my dick to vibrate there too.  Of course this always leads to a penis orgasm but I needed to get there then try to sleep off this mess!

As soon as I turned on the vibrating toy I felt it hammering my prostate inside.  Very soon the orgasm grew but I swear it was from the inside, not my penis.  I held onto that and had a very good and long orgasm.  I have no idea..I would have said 30 seconds but looking back it was probably 10 or so..but felt very good and much longer than a normal penis orgasm.  When I came to I checked the towel I had covering my dick and it was wet.  Part of me thought maybe it might be my first dry orgasm but it wasn't.  At that point I could barely walk and had trouble finding the light switch on my bedroom wall!

Certainly not a breakthrough by any means as it was most likely the penis vibration that brought me over the edge so fast. I should have just used the prostate vibrations first I suppose.

It's now been 19 hours since I took my home made burnt cannibus tostito and I'm still not 100%.  This morning at work was a challenge.  I am just glad I was able to get to sleep because the thoughts and visials I was having were soooo annoying.  I won't do that again!  IF I do it will just be the 10mg THC capsule I know won't wreck me that bad.  It was a good strong orgasm..but not worth the hours and hours of feeling bad!