I am confused about the mindset during sessions. Any advice?

#1 is what only works for me. But I grow horny inside while I'm engaged in my session. It starts out calm, no porn ever, no porn before the session, sometimes I meditate before I start, and I make my body and ass erotic by lubing my anus with my finger, and fantasizing about how good it will feel, not fantasizing about other people or my wife, etc.. As I have orgasms during my session, then I start to get more frisky and more active and I start riding dildos and I do my ass more vigorously. Then I end every session with a Super T for full and complete release and its final. I feel like I go through lots of different mindsets while I do a session.

My approach is a hybrid of the two. Relax, clear mind, but some fantasy can visit the session. It doesn't have to be one or the other thing all the time. Maybe some fantasy can be used to get you from point A to point B, then you can coast with the mindless stuff.

I think there are a few different ways of being aroused as well, like a body-level arousal where there's an internal sense of readiness to feel sensations, and a mind-presence towards that. Which I consider distinct from other kinds. I think often when we talk about arousal we might be using the same word, but taking different meanings.

If fantasizing is what keeps your mind focused and your body open to sensation, then maybe that's the right thing at the right moment. Then if things are progressing well, and your body is responding, then maybe it's time to switch gears and let the sensations lead. The sensations themselves can be a source of arousal, if you can get into a "making love to myself" mindset. Then external fantasy isn't really needed anymore, because in the present you have a real sexual scenario playing out. Which might seem like a big stretch of imagination, but that's where mindlessness helps... you just don't think about it too much. Get lost in sensation and be highly present in your body.

@clenchy Thank you for your input. 

I often find that viewing some not so wild porn will enhance sessions is this not recommended?

Just listen to audios only when during sessions?

Thank you. 

@techpump 

Thank you for your input, you mentioned no porn ever? Do you cut off porn/erotic contents from your life completely?

Thank you. 

Posted by: @tommyxyz24

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I often find that viewing some not so wild porn will enhance sessions is this not recommended?

Well I can only speak for myself, but I find both porn and the aneros session will each have their own rhythm. These rhythms don't align, where the hottest part of the porn will sync with the sensations of the aneros, and for some reason I find that annoying... like I'm doing two unrelated things at once. I find fantasy and imagination is easier to vibe with. I can easily fade out of a fantasy to body-focus and back again, depending on how things are going.

Turn your focus inwards and become single-minded about sensation. It's a wordless, animalistic place, where everything is tuned out except sexual sensation. I wouldn't exactly call it "empty minded", because I think it's possible to be too empty minded, to the point where you're not even giving the session its proper attention. I think of it more like drifting off to sleep, except some sexual part of my brain is going to stay awake and do a few things. I ride in bed with the lights off, and it even helps to relax into my usual sleeping position for maximum comfort. You might try something like this and see if you can take the session deeper.

Posted by: @tommyxyz24

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@techpump 

Thank you for your input, you mentioned no porn ever? Do you cut off porn/erotic contents from your life completely?

Thank you. 

Yah pretty much no porn ever. Now don't get me wrong, I still very much enjoy the female body, and occasionally look at some nude pictures I still have on my harddrives here and there, but its just to take a look, but I don't whip my cock out and go for it while looking. When I quit porn 3 years ago I went through hundreds and hundreds of recorded and downloaded videos I collected through the years, and almost all of them I'd never even watched before. I deleted like crazy. But some I kept and edited down, some fantastic feminine forms, some unreal spectacles of female orgasm and ejaculation, and two totally hot people having sex. I did some compilations of snippets as I purged and cleaned up my life from porn, but honestly I never even watched those compilations either! I think I did a year ago, to see what I made. I didn't do anything with them. I have a big clit fetish and sometimes I'll look at Reddit and see what humanity has going on, but that's maybe every 3-4 months or so just a looksie. I have watched some female orgasm videos while rolling on mdma and it helps me cum (sometimes I can't cum on mdma and need extra stimulation, which then makes it totally insane!) but I only roll a few times a year, and probably watched porn for a few minutes or looked at pictures 3 times on mdma. 

By quitting porn, I've become extremely mindful and into my own body and sexual response. This has brought me profound levels of heightened sensitivity in my genitals and especially my anus and prostate. I mean, its extreme anymore. Sometimes it so sensitive I say out loud "this is amazing!" like I've never touched myself before. Honest! I have not watched porn or used pictures or anything during a prostate session since 2014. Not once, ever. It prevented me from having prostate Os. I just get very into touch, my breathing, the sensations, the self stimulation. I'm way hornier now than ever before, and I'm 47 and see no way I'll slow down or lose my edge. If anything my response and especially erections have increased in frequency and strength the last year and its better than in my 30s. 

Posted by: @tommyxyz24

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@clenchy Thank you for your input. 

 

I often find that viewing some not so wild porn will enhance sessions is this not recommended?

 

Just listen to audios only when during sessions?

 

Thank you. 

What I found problematic with porn during sessions was the length of the videos, I had to set up a playlist for a period of time I couldn't qualify or quantify (how long will my "session" last, will I have an orgasm, or several, and when will those occur?), and looking at the screen was entirely distracting. Nothing I saw (and it was a LOT) ever synced up with what I was feeling. I lost sense of what I was feeling, the screen took my attention away from my paying attention to the movements of the toys in me, what the toys were engaging and stimulating, and what the feelings felt like. If the playlist started over, I was like "I just saw all this" and I'd stop my session and create a new playlist. This made my sessions last entirely too long. And it made me just want to Super T really bad. Which is what I resorted to every session. 

With porn off, I just paid excruciatingly close attention to everything happening in my body. What my nipple tweaking felt like and timing nipple stimulation with autocontractions in my anus with the toy. Exactly where the toy's head and body were  hitting, what was it engaging? Syncing my breathing with nipple play and auto contractions. touching my legs and ass, tickling myself, which triggered more automatic contractions. I never did any of that with porn on. It was just hot chicks, big dicks, fat clits, squirting, women cumming their brains out, guys shooting cum all over the place, hot fuck action...all of which had NOTHING to do with a man having a toy in his ass to achieve a hands free prostate orgasm!!! The disconnect was there, I just didn't know I was disconnected. When the porn came off, I had orgasms within seconds. I have yet to have a session in 10 years that I do not have orgasms. Its impossible for me to not have an orgasm in more than a minute or two. I'm so excited to have orgasms that I have Aless just thinking about putting the toy in me, and sometimes autocontractions start instantly and I'll have an O within seconds. I tried to have just one orgasm when I watched porn back in the day and I'd spend sometimes 2 hours in a session to achieve one. 

Not saying porn doesn't work for some people in sessions, but it never did for me and was the crutch to actually having hands free orgasms. I had a session earlier today in fact that last a bit over an hour and the Os were countless, I have no idea how many I had, I was very naughty with myself and used many toys, and ended with a most splendid eruptive Super T that left me speechless and breathless laying there for at least 5 minutes to recover from. But everyone is different! 

Oh tried audios once too, binaural beats stuff, and ladies whispering and licking microphone stuff, and it kind of worked, but after a month or so of playing with that kind of media I never listened to it again.

Posted by: @tommyxyz24

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I just want to know which one is closer description for you guys. 

I think @Clenchy & @techpump have given you some excellent advice and information. There is no magic formula how you go about achieving these types of prostate orgasms but those two veterans have given you some good guidelines to move forward with.

Good Vibes to You!

Posted by: @techpump

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...all of which had NOTHING to do with a man having a toy in his ass to achieve a hands free prostate orgasm!!! The disconnect was there, I just didn't know I was disconnected.

Mmm. Injecting an external fantasy does have some utility in terms of arousal, but at the same time it's a tacit affirmation that what's happening in reality is something second-rate, or too boring to acknowledge for its own sake. Giving yourself to the experience fully requires you let the experience lead fully, which requires a level of presence that can't coexist with external fantasy. Maybe! I think it stands to reason, that if you can become the fantasy, then everything can sync properly, but it's weird to get there.
My most intense experiences weren't from watching other people screw, that's one thing I can say for sure.

Posted by: @clenchy

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Posted by: @techpump

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...all of which had NOTHING to do with a man having a toy in his ass to achieve a hands free prostate orgasm!!! The disconnect was there, I just didn't know I was disconnected.

Mmm. Injecting an external fantasy does have some utility in terms of arousal, but at the same time it's a tacit affirmation that what's happening in reality is something second-rate, or too boring to acknowledge for its own sake. Giving yourself to the experience fully requires you let the experience lead fully, which requires a level of presence that can't coexist with external fantasy. Maybe! I think it stands to reason, that if you can become the fantasy, then everything can sync properly, but it's weird to get there.
My most intense experiences weren't from watching other people screw, that's one thing I can say for sure.

Well put!!

So I'd sit there in front of my computer screen, or on the floor with a fleshlight, and watch some guy get a blowjob from a smoking hot woman, and I'd say "man, I bet that feels SO GOOD she's so good at it!" And I'd imagine my wife doing the same thing to me, and don't get me wrong, she was and is a fellatio master, and the pleasure idea would translate to me pleasuring my erection. So, similar stimulation, same sex organ, the brain-body-pleasure connection all lined up, and it would translate into a wonderful orgasmic ejaculation.

Different scenario, I'm lying on the floor, Aneros in me, penis flaccid, watching the screen. Let's say its the same blowjob scene, and its a good one, one I'd watch all the time and the more I watched it the more arousing it became. And I'm feeling this toy move in and out of me, on its own or through contractions of my own will, and I can feel it doing 'something' in me, and I'm like "where's this 'hands-free prostate orgasm? Does it make me 'cum'?" I'm watching a, quite frankly, beautiful cock get a blow job by a beautiful woman, and wondering where my prostate is at in all of this. But my attention, devotion, intention, was wrapped up in the pornography on the screen, and the connection between it and my penis was very strong. It and my prostate or anus? Absolutely not there at all. 

So arousal and physical stimulation are two entirely different things, but can be connected through brain-body willpower: I see something, my brain is turned on, I touch my penis, I'm hard, it feels good, I cum. Arousal->Reaction->Stimulation->Finality. This, to me, is not how the prostate stimulation mindset or physicality works. I can't even imagine watching an anal scene, if a man is doing a man or a woman pegging a man, because you can't see what's happening inside of him, and if he's flaccid and having orgasms, its impossible to know it because you can't see it on his outside body. If I don't know what a prostate orgasm feels like, I can't connect the anal porn to me at all. I get very hot when I see women on screen. But they don't have prostates. I can imagine a female orgasm is kind of like a man's prostate orgasm. But again, not the same. Similar, but not entirely.

That 'level of presence' you bring up in your reply to part of my comment here, that's what its all about to me. External fantasy really has nothing to do, almost no bearing at all, with the internal celebration we have to experience, no, give ourselves to fully, to actualize a prostate orgasm. I think you are dead on, that WE become the fantasy, WE have to give into ourselves sexually internally and externally on and with our own bodies, and pay attention to what's happening so fully that you master that experience, it becomes second nature, and you just go with it, like resparating while running long distances, you reach a point where you are breathing really hard but you don't feel labored anymore, you are in the zone and can run run run and not feel winded, that level of giving-in, that is where I think men need to be with this practice. We have to be present, really being fully THERE. Porn makes us not-there. Especially not in our ass! Porn is so exciting, so sexy, so unbelievable sometimes, that it makes us feel like we can get there, when we cum from it, its really quite amazing. But I've learned to build up to levels of orgasm without porn that are light years beyond any of what I'd consider my biggest, best, most amazing orgasm/ejaculations of years past. I just have to get way more into myself now than ever before, and by doing so, its just great 🙂

Amazing answers all around ! 

I just want to add that the same thing will happen with erotic audio when it comes to being in sync. Or guided masturbation. You hear : "I bet you are rock hard now !' and if you are not, then there is a disconnect. You're told to come too late, or too early, another disconnect. No external stimulation will ever have the perfect pace, or at least, not for a whole session. Some bits might be a great fit from time to time, but this will depend on where you are in your session, how quickly you are ramping up, or winding down for the next orgasm, or even staying on a nice plateau. I don't want to hold back or speed up to try and match the action, as this is pretty much the opposite of letting go and letting things happen on their own. 

What can work better is a collection or compilation of orgasm scenes, for instance, where things are more open ended, but even then, your favorite parts might not come up at the right time. Finding the "perfect" arousal material can become a huge chore in itself. There's also something to be said about a lot of good positions for Anerossing not being compatible with watching a screen. And this does bring back the idea of focusing on moving shapes in a box when we should be looking inwards... 

I am of the opinion that most beginners get all wrapped up with what they should be doing instead of just relaxing and going with the flow. For me sometimes porn stimulates just the penis sometimes it's both. It's all about listening to your body and what it wants. Like right now my prostate desperately wants to be f***ed but my roommates are home sick and stress of being caught completely distracts me from staying present with what is happening. I know this cause my PC is tingling and clenching without thought. But usually when I do hands free I just get so wrapped up in what am I doing I lose focus on the porn. I don't know how many times I watch a 20 min and I completely blank after about 4 mins. 

Thank you for the inputs Masters.

Now just a little bit more questions from my end. 

Based on what I am seeing from the comments I have decided to not view porn in the next session. 

So my questions are: what should I do during sessions? 

Listen to audios with instruction? (such as Niki's aneros session guide) Listen to audios like moans ? (such as the aneros audio experiment) Listen to erotic asmr/hypno? (such as kinky shibbys work) Or listen to some erotic music?  Or relaxed yoga music? Or listen to nothing at all, just close my eyes and feel the sensation within? 

Also I have been abstaining from traditional ejaculation so far, as a man in my 20s I find it quite hard, but I am managing good so far. The only downside is I am very horney. Can I have multiple sessions in a week? Usually I have 2 sessions in a week, is it ok to have another one added? Like Tuesday, Froday and then Sunday?

Thank you.   

@techpump 

I agree with you. 

However the content I use before are very related with my sessions. 

I use Japanese prostate massage themed films during my session. And I would say I could related quite well because it contains the female massaging the prostate and using toys etc....

However I would try to avoid videos to focus on sensations more. 

Thank you. 

Posted by: @tommyxyz24

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So my questions are: what should I do during sessions? Listen to audios with instruction? (such as Niki's aneros session guide) Listen to audios like moans ? (such as the aneros audio experiment) Listen to erotic asmr/hypno? (such as kinky shibbys work) Or listen to some erotic music?  Or relaxed yoga music? Or listen to nothing at all, just close my eyes and feel the sensation within? 

I think erotic music is a good go to as a first choice, any ambient relaxing music is a good second choice. The Shibby Says hypnos and Niki's hypnos works are more geared to getting you to an ejaculatory orgasm which is fine if that's what you are looking for. For beginners I am partial to the customized guided session "HypnAerosession" specially tuned for Aneros users. I've also got a couple of audio tracts as a free music download. You might want to also check out the listings in the Aneros Aural Accompaniment - WIKI listings?

Posted by: @tommyxyz24

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Can I have multiple sessions in a week? Usually I have 2 sessions in a week, is it ok to have another one added? Like Tuesday, Friday and then Sunday?

Yes you can have multiple sessions in a week, though I always recommend having at least one full day between sessions to try and minimize desensitizing one's prostate and avoiding overtaxing your pelvic floor muscles. Give yourself a break to re-energize.

Good Vibes to You!

@rumel 

Thank you for your answer. 

I think I ll be alright because all my sessions are quite oppsite of intense from the muscle aspect. 

I usually squeeze no more than level 3( assuming 0 is relax and 10 is max) 

I just slowly squeeze and when I find the spot I hold, the spot is usually between level1-3. 

BTW do you have any advice and muscle contractions? 

Thank you. 

Posted by: @zentai

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Amazing answers all around ! 

I just want to add that the same thing will happen with erotic audio when it comes to being in sync. Or guided masturbation. You hear : "I bet you are rock hard now !' and if you are not, then there is a disconnect. You're told to come too late, or too early, another disconnect. No external stimulation will ever have the perfect pace, or at least, not for a whole session. Some bits might be a great fit from time to time, but this will depend on where you are in your session, how quickly you are ramping up, or winding down for the next orgasm, or even staying on a nice plateau. I don't want to hold back or speed up to try and match the action, as this is pretty much the opposite of letting go and letting things happen on their own. 

What can work better is a collection or compilation of orgasm scenes, for instance, where things are more open ended, but even then, your favorite parts might not come up at the right time. Finding the "perfect" arousal material can become a huge chore in itself. There's also something to be said about a lot of good positions for Anerossing not being compatible with watching a screen. And this does bring back the idea of focusing on moving shapes in a box when we should be looking inwards... 

God, @zentai, I wish I wrote this myself!! SO SPOT ON! Positions for sure, I used to crane my neck trying to look at the screen, and then lay my head back when it got good, and close my eyes, and start to get somewhere, and then say "I'm missing the action on the screen" and poof the feeling was gone. I can't do JOI audio or video either. My response never lined up with what the women were saying. And it always seemed so...robotic or not honest. Tailored to any guy, not just me. So my personality and personal attachment to my orgasmic response was just lost on it. Finding the "perfect" arousal material was always a huge chore, usually up to 30 minutes of my session's start was wasted on that stuff. Looking inwards, that's the path!

Posted by: @tommyxyz24

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BTW do you have any advice and muscle contractions? 

 I think lthe low level contractions are the better option just as you are practicing. Of course you can always experiment with various contraction regimes to find out what works best for your body.

Good Vibes to You!

@rumel 

Agreed ! Contracting too strongly can cause the Aneros to get "locked in", thus preventing any involuntary contractions. Contracting too lightly, well, the device might not move much or move with very little range of motion. It's a balancing act, but in general, lighter is better, at least until you know exactly what is going on, at that point you can adjust on the fly and it's much easier to see what level of voluntary flexing is needed, if any.