Frustrating Tease

Posted by: @vinboom

Most sessions are 2-3 hours.  They all end up at a point that is definitely pleasurable, but never getting over any type of peak whatsoever, leaving me hanging.

I think you are right where you should be... in an orgasmic state, in a Super-O even, please read @Buster 's thread What exactly is a Super-O? to get a wider perspective of what a Super-O is in reality. There is no 'hump' to get over, orgasms exist over a continuum of intensity, there are no clear demarcation points along this continuum, no 'humps' to surmount except what you establish in your mind. Please see Super-O Myths & Illusions regarding 'the Edge' and a couple of other myths.

Posted by: @vinboom

There is definitely a ton of pleasure being felt.  But I'm not sure I can keep going with this the way it leaves me hanging.  I'm always so close, but cannot get over the hump.  And sitting so close to the edge for so long can be very frustrating!  Almost to the point where I can't take it any more mentally.

Please read @Neros thread The Myth of Super Orgasm. With regard to 'the Edge' please see @Zentai's thread Navigating "Almost-Almosts" : So you're almost there ?.

Posted by: @vinboom

I have read over and over in this forum about relaxation.  It's been my biggest area of weakness, and I've focused on it as much as I can.

While relaxation is certainly important and developing the ability to do so is a skill to be nurtured, that should not be the focus of your Anerosession, your focus should be on the sensations being generated. If you pelvic floor muscles start to clench and spasm then allow them to do so and savor the pleasurable feelings being generated, See where they lead instead of focusing your mind on trying to relax/prevent them from happening. Practice deep belly breathing, Please see @rook 's post in A Question about Breathing for some helpful tips and information links. You can also read Deep Belly Breathing and Relaxing (a file I downloaded many years ago authored by Temple University Professor R. Hicks, unfortunately no longer available online).

The frustration you are experiencing is a very common phenomenon with Aneros users. The Aneros experience is not a race or competition but an experiential journey without an end point. Frustration is the result of expectations not being met, my intuition tells me you may be being hindered by your own expectations, when you start dropping your expectations I suspect your frustrations will abate with them. Accept the pleasure you ARE getting without expecting more and I suspect the quality of your sessions will improve, maybe to the point you will see you are really having Super-O's but were expecting something else.

Good Vibes to You!

@rumel Thanks for your reply.  I don't disagree with anything you said.  I have read the other posts you mentioned.  I appreciate the time you took in your reply.

While many of the sensations are very pleasurable (I would have given up by now if they weren't), they are certainly no where close to those felt during that one super o, or even the dry o.  There was definitely a peak or a new level reached, in that it gave me the feeling that I achieved something, or I went to a place that was well beyond all the others (different feelings, much more intense, more full body, a significant level up, etc.).  These two events were very clearly something bigger.  And those two events definitely set my expectations!

How to get back to them is the question. While each individual session is enjoyable, and based on my two experiences, I would say that I can't continue to invest this much of my time if I'm not going to get there again.  Even if it's once out of every three or four sessions, I would take it.  But once out of 30 or 40 sessions, in my opinion, is not enough to justify the time.  I don't know... I guess I've just been really working on this and now getting frustrated.

I like the idea you mentioned regarding letting my body do what it wants, and steer my focus toward the sensations.  I've always seemed to have a task at hand during every session, and maybe that's the problem.  Trying too hard can be bad a lot of ways too.

Again, thank you.

Posted by: @vinboom

I went to a place that was well beyond all the others (different feelings, much more intense, more full body, a significant level up, etc.). These two events were very clearly something bigger. And those two events definitely set my expectations!
How to get back to them is the question.

I completely understand (and sympathize) with your dilemma. You've tasted the self induced elixir of bliss but can't duplicate the conditions to have it occur again. It is like experiencing a wonderful dream that you want to have again and again but your mind won't recreate it no matter what you do. Unfortunately there is no solution to this paradox of experience, every Anerosession is going to be unique just as every dream is unique. One needs to "Just Let Go !" of trying to direct the outcome and instead surrender to the process of the practice without expecting any particular outcome.

Posted by: @vinboom

While each individual session is enjoyable, and based on my two experiences, I would say that I can't continue to invest this much of my time if I'm not going to get there again.

Hope, patience and acceptance/appreciation of what pleasure you DO receive are essential, being greedy or resentful of what you didn't get only limits your potential, infusing you with negative energy.

Posted by: @vinboom

Even if it's once out of every three or four sessions, I would take it.  But once out of 30 or 40 sessions, in my opinion, is not enough to justify the time.  I don't know... I guess I've just been really working on this and now getting frustrated.

If it's any consolation, even after my many years of practice, I'm only able to have a Super-O in perhaps one in 20 Anerosessions and maybe prostate orgasms in 50% of my sessions, but all my sessions are enjoyable and I am very grateful for that. I never expect a particular outcome so I don't get frustrated, I'm always hopeful the next session will be better, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't and that's just the way life is.

Posted by: @vinboom

I've always seemed to have a task at hand during every session, and maybe that's the problem.  Trying too hard can be bad a lot of ways too.

Yeah, mind noise can be a session killer! Try to stay focused upon the sensations your body is generating, let your ego be the objective observer and not the analytic judger, be 'in the moment', there will be plenty of time after a session for analysis.

Good Vibes to You!

Posted by: @vinboom

 

There is lots of tingling going on, vibrations, an "expanding" feeling in the groin area.  I definitely feel waves over my body here and there throughout the sessions.  Sudden jolts too, with instant erection, and some heavy waves that just eventually fade instead of building more.

I've experienced what I believe is a super o one time a few months ago.  Also a dry o when I first started years ago and ended up clenching into it to make it happen.

 

There is definitely a ton of pleasure being felt.  But I'm not sure I can keep going with this the way it leaves me hanging.  I'm always so close, but cannot get over the hump.  And sitting so close to the edge for so long can be very frustrating!  Almost to the point where I can't take it any more mentally.

I have read over and over in this forum about relaxation.  It's been my biggest area of weakness, and I've focused on it as much as I can.  I've improved a great deal in this area, and not sure how I can continue to improve - I'm not sure how to or any methods I can use to totally relax around the device.  This must be where I'm falling short...

My assumption is that I need to relax enough to almost let the device "float".  I'm definitely not capable of doing this consistently without having to put in a ton of effort.  Too much effort to relax I guess.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

It sounds like you are experiencing all the right feelings, maybe you are looking for something bigger that is not there? Maybe this is a super O and your expectations are just too high. These sound like my sessions sober and I have learnt to accept that, the only way I go to the next level with the insane floating / bright lights / loss of all space and time is with the use of THC...

Using THC taught me that those feelings are what you are meant to feel, there is no super extra feelings. You have to learn to accept those feelings and use them to build.

  Vinbow,I so feel ya man. Stick with it accept what ya get, like me you'll advance in small increments, but if your frustrated ya might miss em. I to had a most incredible exp. early on, nothing like it since. The reality is, feeling anything is a beautiful thing, I've become rather greatful, for what ever I get. In fact telling myself , how good it is in the middle of a lackluster session, seems to improve things. In other words what I think in my mind, directly affects my bodies reaction, even if its hyperbole. 

@vinboom

Here are some observations/questions/food for thought. I'm sorry if some stuff is out of sequence, i tend to jump around a lot... 

Posted by: @vinboom

Most sessions are 2-3 hours.  They all end up at a point that is definitely pleasurable, but never getting over any type of peak whatsoever, leaving me hanging.

I agree that this is quite the time investment, maybe there is a way to streamline things in some way. If things plateau out after some time, maybe it would be better to call it quit and have more frequent, shorter sessions. There could be some sort of "calibration issue" at play, where feeling good for long periods of time makes it feel like it's not that great, basically you get used to it and it's not special, not stimulating or exciting enough to get into an arousal feedback loop. Maybe endings sessions with some "hunger for more" could help. 

In general it seems like you ran trough all the physical options :  positions, lubes, added stimulation form porn and audios, etc. So I'd say you likely know what you like at this point, or maybe none of this has much of an effect, so maybe you need to put this part aside for now and really concentrate on the mental aspects. 

Also, if your Super-O and dry O came from forcing things a bit, why not do this again? I know for a fact that it's possible to brute force things, while it's not very elegant*, a Super-O is a Super-O...

The way I'm reading you, you're "straining to relax", and possibly interfering with the next step in the process, where your body knows best and will go into auto-pilot once you get things in motion. @rumel already said as much, focus should not be on relaxing for the sake of relaxing.  In other words, if you perceive every attempt of your body to provide a Super-O as some tension that must be eliminated, then you'll get stuck in this loop over and over...  You need to relax into the tension, and if this does no go into a build-up, maybe adding some tension of your own will do it. It's okay to experiment, you won't break anything or "de-wire" from doing things differently for a couple of sessions. Think of it as trying a different "style".   

*Edit : I mean, it sounds better to achieve Super-Os by getting in a complete Zen-like state, but if you need to move the toy more aggressively with your internal muscles to get things to work, this is what you're going to have to do, at least at first.