Dealing with tension

Welcome to the Forum ! 

Are you using an Aneros device, or only the Mindgasm approach ? While Aless can feel pretty much like Aneros, the level of tension needed may be different. In my experience you often need more tension to compensate when the toy is not present, so harder flex = more likely to cause tension elsewhere. Isolating muscles is down to practice and you'll get better at this with time. 

Do remember that the tension you are feeling elsewhere could be part of the orgasmic buildup, and accepting that tension can be a part of letting go. Like you remarked yourself, assuming things is sometimes counterproductive. Until you have lots of Super-Os under your belt, it's unlikely that you can know what to expect at each step. 

If you feel like you need more relaxation, then make sure that you are in a good position where you can be completely relaxed. If needed, use some towels/cushion/pillows to support parts of your body so there is no tension anywhere. 

Good luck, and keep us posted !  

 

 

 

 

@zentai 

Thank you very much for the welcome and your reply.

I am using an Aneros Progasm Black Ice but I also go Aless frequently. I definitely find Aless to be more taxing, tension wise, to the point that my muscles feel like I’ve been working out for hours. With Aneros, much less so, but still an impediment.

Is it realistic to expect to be able to control your PC muscles while keeping the rest of your body relaxed? 

Posted by: @airog

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Is it realistic to expect to be able to control your PC muscles while keeping the rest of your body relaxed? 

Yes, it's realistic. It might not be strictly necessary to achieve this, but it's quite doable. Personally I never made a huge deal of isolating everything, while I know some other guys have great control on each individual muscle. It's going to come down to what "style" works best for you, but if you put your mind to it, you can certainly move your PC and sphincters muscle completely independently from everything else.

To me it's easier to isolate the PC muscles from the abs than it is to isolate the sphincters from the buttocks and legs, maybe this would also be a good place to start for you ? 

I have found, that muscles that tense, seem to drain away the energy that contributes to something more powerful. I have learned to finely control the PC muscles and they can help provide the “fine tuning” to get things off and running.

Do you have a smaller Aneros than the Progasm? I have found better luck with the smaller units. Larger is not always better. A tickle seems to work better than a sledge hammer. Especially if you are older with an enlarged prostate. If you are completely filled with the Aneros, you may not be able to learn to control it.

Posted by: @xileh

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I have found, that muscles that tense, seem to drain away the energy that contributes to something more powerful. I have learned to finely control the PC muscles and they can help provide the “fine tuning” to get things off and running.

Thank you for your reply @xileh

I have become quite adept at controlling my PC muscles and getting things off and running.

The problem is that as things build towards what should be a pleasurable Super-O, tension in all the other muscles, that I seemingly can’t control, inhibits going over the edge. It’s physically exhausting and leaves those muscles aching.

I was hoping others may have had similar experiences, which they might have overcome and could share their techniques.

 

Posted by: @zentai

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Do remember that the tension you are feeling elsewhere could be part of the orgasmic buildup, and accepting that tension can be a part of letting go.

This is deep. Seriously. Just being able to run with the tension and let it happen is majorly counter-intuitive, when so much of the practice is to release tension. I've come across this strange contradiction too. It's almost like there is bad tension and good tension, and it's hard to separate which is which. Maybe it's the difference between pushing yourself and being pushed... and maybe you need to be pushed through some stages of the process.
This is kinda why I don't like absolutes in this journey, and why I find myself so utterly lost when it comes to knowing anything for sure.

 

Posted by: @airog

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@zentai 

Thank you very much for the welcome and your reply.

I am using an Aneros Progasm Black Ice but I also go Aless frequently. I definitely find Aless to be more taxing, tension wise, to the point that my muscles feel like I’ve been working out for hours. With Aneros, much less so, but still an impediment.

Is it realistic to expect to be able to control your PC muscles while keeping the rest of your body relaxed? 

 

The tension that you feel may be a remnant of the typical male build-up to a traditional orgasm, muscles tensed to push you quickly towards the orgasm. I still experience the same thing and find myself building tension in parts of my body. The key for me has been to identify where I have built tension and actively work to release it,  usually in my neck and face. Indeed, as I write this I am working on aless. Getting pleasure and feeling my face tighten up as I try to push the pleasure along. Takes practice to identify and drop the tension.

 

I agree with @clenchy. I have had occasions when I resisted allowing the tension to build, it was almost too much and something caused me to back off.

Posted by: @clenchy

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It's almost like there is bad tension and good tension, and it's hard to separate which is which.

Yes, this would be very similar to trying to avoid all involuntary contractions because you think it's a lack of relaxation, while it's the relaxation that allowed this to happen involuntarily in the first place. After all, arousal itself is a form of tension. 

For the most part,yes,you need to relax the rest of the body. There is a time and a place for tension in other muscles but it’s not now. Breathe,and ‘slouch’ the body,let it go dead weight,like it’s paralysed and the pelvic floor muscles and all you can control.That’s where you direct your focus.

Where to hold flex? Everywhere. Top,centre and base. The trick is to tweak the tension in these areas until you find the balance point where the energy each creates becomes opposing force against the others. They bounce off each other,generating pleasure,invols and this is where we begin the climb to orgasm. flexes on top of this tension need only be very light.

You need to work on the relaxation because your mind in tense,it knows that the promised land is almost within reach,and that expectation keeps you circling the drain.

You need to play with and tweak things while you practice to see what works for you. Following the MG lessons like a rat following the pied piper is why so many can’t get it to work,everyone is different. You’ve learned the basics,generated some shit,explore now and you’ll figure it out. 

 

There’s a lot of helpful comments here. Thanks, everyone.

To paraphrase Yogi Berra: This is 90 percent mental and the other half is all in your head.

I have been rereading Darwin’s comments in the relax, relax, RELAX post and that has become my new mantra. I’m also trying just to enjoy the sensations and let them go where they want, without any agenda or expectations. That’s the difficult part. It’s a work in progress.