Am I supposed to feel my prostate using Aneros?

Awesome metaphor and welcome to the forum !

I have some strong opinions and funky theories on the whole Aneros experience so don't take the following as gospel, it's just my personal take on it.

We're all different and will experience differences things, but I think you got it right. If you're relaxed, the Aneros is mostly just laying on your prostate and not doing anything. Depending on the "room" available, which will depend on muscle tone, prostate size, model used and your own unique anatomy as well as the position you're using, I guess it's not impossible that there's nothing to push against in the relaxed state so you don't feel any pressure.

When you use a finger you get some feedback of your finger feeling your prostate and your prostate feeling the finger which feed the pleasure loop. 

Now I don't think your prostate has anywhere to go, but the leverage you get with other methods and bigger toys is just not there when using only an Aneros and sensations will be a lot more subtle.

You'll have to really pay attention to them and at some point they'll grow and feel as good as what you get from dildos and such. I would concentrate on the Helix, it's not big but the head shape is somewhat more aggressive in my opinion and should wake things up a little more easily. Also try different positions, bend your legs, arch your back, see if you get more pressure that way. Hope this helps. 

I think contractions, involuntaries, and muscle tension play a big role. As well as the level of prostate engorgement. I've always been a "calm seas" kinda guy, riding the energy to high places, but without much muscle involvement. I've recently been re-examining my long held assumptions about PC muscles, and experimenting with it... and it has been pretty eye-opening.

Based on a session I had a few days ago... when everything is activated and working, the PC and anal muscles sync-up, and if they sync-up just right, it creates a rolling motion like the piston on a train wheel. If the prostate is awake and ready, the head of the aneros rubs across it.
And when it's all working right, the sensation isn't vague... my prostate didn't feel like it was hiding somewhere deep, behind layers of tissue, it felt like it was right there as a ball in my rectum, standing proud and waiting to be stroked. It was like everything else that was usually there, moved out of the way. I don't know whether my rectum changed shape, or whether this was the result of prostate engorgement, but it made everything inside ready to receive movement.

I think a lot of what re-wiring is, is being able to get to this state of readiness. Developing the muscle memory, the sense memory, and experiencing this pleasurable feedback, often enough that it becomes second nature. Like any of the million little things you do without noticing when you masturbate the penis.
I think there are several things that have to line up to reach the right state... but once you identify it, you can get better at returning to it. I think this is why some people are able to get right into the action. I listened to one of the audio sessions posted here, and couldn't believe how quickly the guy went from insertion to making gasping noises. My guess is that he's familiar enough with being in the right arousal state, that his body just goes straight there. And having experienced orgasm from that arousal state, there is anticipation and mental arousal. People say you shouldn't anticipate, but the kind of anticipation I mean is more like when you think of a lemon and your mouth waters... there is an involuntary physical anticipation.

Posted by: @zentai

Awesome metaphor and welcome to the forum !

I have some strong opinions and funky theories on the whole Aneros experience so don't take the following as gospel, it's just my personal take on it.

We're all different and will experience differences things, but I think you got it right. If you're relaxed, the Aneros is mostly just laying on your prostate and not doing anything. Depending on the "room" available, which will depend on muscle tone, prostate size, model used and your own unique anatomy as well as the position you're using, I guess it's not impossible that there's nothing to push against in the relaxed state so you don't feel any pressure.

When you use a finger you get some feedback of your finger feeling your prostate and your prostate feeling the finger which feed the pleasure loop. 

Now I don't think your prostate has anywhere to go, but the leverage you get with other methods and bigger toys is just not there when using only an Aneros and sensations will be a lot more subtle.

You'll have to really pay attention to them and at some point they'll grow and feel as good as what you get from dildos and such. I would concentrate on the Helix, it's not big but the head shape is somewhat more aggressive in my opinion and should wake things up a little more easily. Also try different positions, bend your legs, arch your back, see if you get more pressure that way. Hope this helps. 

Thanks @zentai, good to be here! Appreciate your input, what you write makes a lot of sense. Ok I think I understand now, the feelings you get from the Aneros is so subtle you barely feel it. That's why many people recommend not watching porn cause the act of watching is too distracting? And learn to meditate in order to be able to focus on something so vauge for an extended period of time?

I'm truly puzzled by how easy this seems to be for so many yet develishly hard for others, like myself. Regarding porn, there's a dilemma involved and I'm sure many have brought it up here on the forum. Porn, for me, is the only thing that gets me really turned on besides an real naked woman in front of me, and not being able to watch porn during a session results me never getting especially aroused (since I don't feel anything from the Aneros devices). There's a trade off... arousal vs focus. I guess the trick is to combine the two, but how?

I haven't played a lot with my Helix Syn, seemed too small hehe, but I'll give it another shot, thanks!

Posted by: @clenchy

I think contractions, involuntaries, and muscle tension play a big role. As well as the level of prostate engorgement. I've always been a "calm seas" kinda guy, riding the energy to high places, but without much muscle involvement. I've recently been re-examining my long held assumptions about PC muscles, and experimenting with it... and it has been pretty eye-opening.

Based on a session I had a few days ago... when everything is activated and working, the PC and anal muscles sync-up, and if they sync-up just right, it creates a rolling motion like the piston on a train wheel. If the prostate is awake and ready, the head of the aneros rubs across it.
And when it's all working right, the sensation isn't vague... my prostate didn't feel like it was hiding somewhere deep, behind layers of tissue, it felt like it was right there as a ball in my rectum, standing proud and waiting to be stroked. It was like everything else that was usually there, moved out of the way. I don't know whether my rectum changed shape, or whether this was the result of prostate engorgement, but it made everything inside ready to receive movement.

I think a lot of what re-wiring is, is being able to get to this state of readiness. Developing the muscle memory, the sense memory, and experiencing this pleasurable feedback, often enough that it becomes second nature. Like any of the million little things you do without noticing when you masturbate the penis.
I think there are several things that have to line up to reach the right state... but once you identify it, you can get better at returning to it. I think this is why some people are able to get right into the action. I listened to one of the audio sessions posted here, and couldn't believe how quickly the guy went from insertion to making gasping noises. My guess is that he's familiar enough with being in the right arousal state, that his body just goes straight there. And having experienced orgasm from that arousal state, there is anticipation and mental arousal. People say you shouldn't anticipate, but the kind of anticipation I mean is more like when you think of a lemon and your mouth waters... there is an involuntary physical anticipation.

 

Thanks for input @clenchy! I understand what you mean regarding the muscles syncing-up, and that "rolling motion like the piston on a train wheel" was another great metaphor, thanks! I have learned to separate the contractions of the pc and sphincter muscles, I guess now I'll try to master that piston-motion.

How long did it take for you to get re-wired? Also, how do you get into that state of readiness before you insert it? Do have to be aroused by then? Or is it ok to let the aneros become aroused?

Cause here's the thing I don't understand. The Wiki states that arousal is one of the most important thing, but unless I actively watch porn I don't get aroused very often in my daily life. You're so busy doing other stuff, both work and hobbies etc. So if I were to practice using the aneros only when I get aroused without watching porn, that'd probably only end up happening once or twice a month and that seems far to seldom to get you anywhere in terms of practice. My idea of an aneros practice routine be like every other day, but again, in order to get aroused that often I have to rely on porn.

How does other folks do it? Am I missing something here?

If I understand you correctly you're talking about the need to associate the aneros with pleasure and thus let the moment itself arouse you? The anticipation of what's to come, correct?

@steviekiwi

I’m very much a newbie, but have made enormous progress over the last six weeks (after six months of not much). Porn can be a trap in that it can desensitize or diminish, if not distort your fantasies and feelings (and not just with prostate massage). A week and a half ago, was my first session where I got prostate orgasms with the Helix, and they came in multiples. When I was getting myself aroused for that session, part of it was holding and rerunning sexual fantasies in my head from actual sexual encounters that have always stayed with me. But also I caressed all over my body and appreciated the sensations and I tried to magnify them. I was seated on the floor in front of a mirror where I could see myself and see my movements and appreciate what I’ve got. Also, I tried just getting myself physically aroused, not just sexually. I did slow deep breathing and fast pants. I did some pushups. I got to the point I was giddy and laughing, kind of light headed, and it wasn’t only about sex. I hope this helps.

@steviekiwi

About arousal, I've written elsewhere that it's not an essential element for me but that's kinda false.

Arousal will build by itself during the session as a result of all the good sexual feelings so I don't absolutely need it at the start, but if I don't get aroused at some point, nothing will happen. Like if I'm too tired, not into it or anxious about something, it won't appear magically. 

If you need to nudge things around by using porn, just do it. Keep in mind that you may have to adjust at some point, maybe switch it off after some time, or only use before the session. Later on you may wish to stop completely or might not need it anymore, or you may switch to relatively softcore stuff, so you don't overpower other feelings. 

You could also try going at it with one of your bigger toys and once you're really feeling it, switch to the progasm. Your prostate should be more sensitive at this point and all the small muscles will be a little tired, this might jumpstart something. 

Welcome the the forum, @steviekiwi

It doesn’t sound like your prostate is as sensitive as you think (for now, but you will get there!). Being able to feel good sensations through direct prostate pressure is one thing. But the goal here is to find pleasure with minimal pressure on the prostate. It is learning to take that 10% of pressure, a pressure that is so light that it feels like nothing, and amplify it with your gray matter until it feels like 1000%.

Based on what you say, I would argue that you probably haven’t almost had a prostate orgasm.  At least not qualitatively compared to the types of orgasms that are sought with this type of toy.  Perhaps you almost ejaculated, or perhaps you felt like you were on the verge of some type of orgasm, but seeing as you have never had a prostate orgasm, it is hard to say if that was really the case.

I can relate. Before using aneros toys I had a fair amount of anal experience like you. It felt really good to use dildos, to have fingers inside me.  I had many moments where I felt that I was on the verge of an orgasm. It was as if I might ejaculate. However it never happened. With my helix syn I learned how to enjoy the micro sensations produced by these smaller toys and amplify them psychologically and thus physically through feedback loops. I learned that excessive pressure, or forcing the sensation on my prostate—through bigger toys and even through hard clenching—dulled my sensibility to microsensations.  As if there were a line I should not cross. If 0-20% pressure on my prostate generated faint sensations and allowed me to amplify them into much more, anything over 20% of pressure killed my session, even though it felt good as well and was very perceptible. (These percentages are very arbitrary, and pressure is caused by the size of the toy, the angle, the spot it touches, and the amount of clenching.)

Another thing to consider is aless (you’ve probably seen the word around here, but it is prostate and other orgasms without a toy inserted). That is the proof that the size doesn’t matter, rather the awareness of one’s prostate (and every inch of one’s skin, every muscle, etc) is what counts. If one can have intense prostate orgasms with no pressure, then pressure is not the key to these orgasms. Other things are at play: arousal, imagination, focus, self-hypnotization… to name a few.

So I think you should forget about big toys for a while, forget about fingers, forget about the type of direct pressure you are used to feeling.  It sounds like you have an excellent arsenal that would make some of us (me, namely) jealous. But that type of pressure on your prostate isn’t what you need right now. Right now you need to learn how to delve into the world of microsensation. This pleasure will not be the same as what you get from these bigger toys. For now you aren’t feeling these microsensations, but maybe that is because you are searching for the same sensations you got from the bigger toys.  I can tell you from experience that they are not the same sensations.  Later, once you grok these new sensations, once you are adept at aless and with these smaller toys, you can go back to the big toys. They will still feel awesome, but just differently so. Now I use big toys in the same way I use small toys. I avoid too much direct pressure on the prostate, I go very slowly. The sensations I get from them are nothing like those I used to get from them.

Posted by: @steviekiwi

How long did it take for you to get re-wired?

I don't know how to answer that really. There was no clear point where I thought "Ah-ha! I'm rewired now!". I was playing around with the energy side of orgasm (HFO) for years before I found the Aneros, and in some ways I still consider myself to be rewiring after 10+ years of using the Aneros.

Posted by: @steviekiwi

Also, how do you get into that state of readiness before you insert it? Do have to be aroused by then? Or is it ok to let the aneros become aroused?

The state of readiness I was talking about developed over the course of the session itself. I've had great sessions just going in "cold". If anything, going into a session without the desperate need to cum is a bonus... because you can be more patient, and less focused on chasing the familiar cumming signals.

Posted by: @steviekiwi

The Wiki states that arousal is one of the most important thing, but unless I actively watch porn I don't get aroused very often in my daily life.

I think "arousal" can mean different things. Starting out, you might only be familiar with one kind of arousal, or arousal that manifests in a certain way. Maybe in time your definition of arousal will expand to include subtle belly tingles and a bodily yearning. A lot of the time during a session, I'm not even thinking about a fantasy or trying to imagine sexy things... because what I'm doing is already sex, and there is nothing else lacking in the moment. And that's a big paradigm shift, that's hard to accept... at least until you get a few really good sessions under your belt.

Posted by: @steviekiwi

If I understand you correctly you're talking about the need to associate the aneros with pleasure and thus let the moment itself arouse you? The anticipation of what's to come, correct?

I was just saying a certain amount of anticipation is involuntary. We associate things... like a lab rat that gets sprayed with lemon scent before receiving an electric shock, will eventually show fear at the scent of lemon.
This is different to conscious expectation... and that's the self-defeating kind of anticipation, that makes you crave very specific sensations, chase them, and try to force them to happen. You can do that successfully with penis masturbation, but when you're entering new territory, you can't be calling the shots on every sensation... because some of them will be new, and behave in unexpected ways.

Posted by: @zaqpol

@steviekiwi

I’m very much a newbie, but have made enormous progress over the last six weeks (after six months of not much). Porn can be a trap in that it can desensitize or diminish, if not distort your fantasies and feelings (and not just with prostate massage). A week and a half ago, was my first session where I got prostate orgasms with the Helix, and they came in multiples. When I was getting myself aroused for that session, part of it was holding and rerunning sexual fantasies in my head from actual sexual encounters that have always stayed with me. But also I caressed all over my body and appreciated the sensations and I tried to magnify them.

Thanks, @zaqpol! Congratulations on your progress, evokes renewed hope! Have you successfully used porn or is it only fantasies for you that does the trick? Did you use to use porn? Also, how much of a difference does it make to caress the body during the session?

Posted by: @divine_o

Welcome the the forum, @steviekiwi

Thanks, @divine_o! I'm sure you're right... and I suspect too my prostate isn't very sensitive after reading all of your fantastic replies (thank you all! What a great forum this is!) I guess one's sensitivity various wildly compared to other men, but I hope I can learn this stuff and reap the rewards too! I'm well aware of the aless phenomena, I think we've all had an orgasm in our dreams. I woke up from almost having an orgasm in my dream and it took a while for those orgasmic feelings to subside after I woke, so I have my own proof that it's all in the mind. Getting there voluntarily though is another thing entirely. I'm in awe of those who can do it!

I'll put away my "arsenal" (mostly toys bought in sheer frustration) for a while and try to focus to see if I can feel anything. Thank you so much for taking the time to explain, grateful AF! This is the way.

Thank you, @clenchy! Love your way of explaining things, so easy to understand, though I'm certainly feeling for that poor lab rat. He'll never know what it means to lay down in a pool sipping lemonade on a hot summer day. I find it calming to know that you don't necessarily have to be aroused going into the session cause that's been one of my major issues, especially if I'm not "supposed" to watch porn. I appreciate you taking the time to help a fellow out on his journey!

How often do you recommend I practice with the Aneros? Is every other day too much? Can I wear it while doing other stuff?

Posted by: @steviekiwi

Is every other day too much?

Perhaps, perhaps not, as you can see in the user poll How frequently do you use your massager? the range of frequency use is quite varied. There are many factors which may influence how frequently you can indulge in this practice, there are no real rules here. However, trying to follow some arbitrary schedule of sessions is probably not going to produce satisfactory results. Ironically, success with Aneros is more than 90% a mental exercise and less than 10% a physical one despite all you may read on this Forum. (Please read the threads Penis, NOT, @rook 's thread Whole Body/Whole Mind - the mental side & @SteelColdiron 's thread Aneros: The Essential Mind State for a little insight. It might also help you to read @Neros 's post The truth behind how to "rewire").

What may be most important for any Anerosession to be successful is to be both mentally and physically aroused. Without being aroused your orgasmic pleasures are going to be very limited. It is important to remember your Aneros massager acts more like an arousal amplifier than it does an arousal generator, so having your arousal high to begin with is important.

Posted by: @steviekiwi

How often do you recommend I practice with the Aneros?

As I noted above it doesn't make much sense to have an Anerosession if you aren't already aroused. Please see the threads Are you "aroused"? & Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence/Semen Retention for more details.

Posted by: @steviekiwi

Can I wear it while doing other stuff?

Yes, you can and others have too but in your case I'd recommend against it as you will need to really focus on the very subtle sensations these devices induce. Firstly, trying to do other activities will naturally divert mental focus away from monitoring your bodily sensations and thus you may miss the subtle P-waves your body will generate. Secondly, this diversion of focus may also program you to ignore the very sensations you are trying to encourage.

Good Vibes to You!

Posted by: @steviekiwi

Thanks, @zaqpol! Congratulations on your progress, evokes renewed hope! Have you successfully used porn or is it only fantasies for you that does the trick? Did you use to use porn? Also, how much of a difference does it make to caress the body during the session?

@steviekiwi

Most of the time I've not used porn, just fantasies. When I have it's been a day or two before a session, but not on the day of session. For me porn is distracting and also it can really drain me. Getting my body physically aroused is more important. The sex fantasies tend to drift in or I'll find them, as I work up my body.

I find caressing/massaging works for me. The back of my head and neck I'm always gentle. I massage my shoulders, and nipples/chest, even my armpits. My belly is critically important it makes me feel so good moving my hands and fingers back and forth across it and sometimes I can make me almost cry (actually a few times it did). Lately with my inner thighs I start barely toughing then progressively heavier then really sink my finger pads into the muscles. When I'm on all fours I gently brush over my backside then towards the inside of the cheeks. When I get to the anal area, perineum, and scrotum it brings everything up a level. I've also have gently massaged and shook my balls, it feels good. I've even muffled my ears with my palms making circular motions and massaged my feet particularly under the arch, but not as often. I found doing these in front of a mirror helps.

Conscious belly breathing is critical. When I breathe in and and out, I can feel the energy go in and out of my prostate. I try to focus on that feeling to amplify the energy feeling.

I have an ability with energy movement, but perhaps this might help you, if you're interested. Look up in a search on the forum for "Moving Energies Around." These exercises were the key to my first shift, after six months of no progress at all. I now have incorporated these exercises after I do my body / sex fantasy arousal. In the last week and a half, I've had my first three sessions with orgasms. I did the 'Moving Energies Around' exercises before each session. It might not work for you but maybe it's worth a shot. 

Posted by: @steviekiwi

I find it calming to know that you don't necessarily have to be aroused going into the session

I personally don't anyway. I can go into the session first, then build arousal. But I spent my teenage years without access to porn, and had to rely on my imagination... so maybe this isn't everyone.

The only thing I really have to avoid is negative arousal, like if there's something annoying me, that I won't be able to stop thinking about during the session, or if I'm feeling impatient, exhausted or frustrated. I guess feeling arousal before the session can be a good proxy for whether you'll be able to become aroused in the session.

I wouldn't worry too much about it either way. At the end of the day, this road is unique to you, and it changes behind you as you walk it. Do what ever works for you, and enjoy yourself. It's not an exact science.
Maybe at this point in your journey, you do need porn, and in a few months you won't. There could be any number of transitional stages involved.