Last night my wife and I talked – I reminded her we last made love in March and here it is late October. She reminded me of her perimenopause into menopause phase that she has been stuck in for the last 5 or 6 years, and that it could last another five years, maybe more. She said to be honest she has no interest in sex other than private masturbation. I told her from my perspective the connection was the most part, and she agreed. So I made her an offer. We abandon sex altogether indefinitely in exchange for kissing and cuddling. She is allowed to masturbate her labia and clit in private but no vaginal or anal penetration with toys, fingers, objects. I am allowed to use my prostate toys in my rectum in private but no touching or rubbing of my penis or scrotum for arousal purposes. If I want to acquire a chastity device she will supervise the installation and hold the key, but it would need to be something wearable 24/7 as she does not want to be involved taking it off and putting it back on me. We discussed me seeing my doctor to review the cholesterol and blood pressure medications she had previously suggested as erectile dysfunction would be ideal for us.
GGringo
@WetDream63, why the restrictions? Why not let it all hang out and do whatever you feel like doing whenever you feel like doing it (and that for both of you)? To me, life if to be enjoyed in every aspect and every minute counts. I’m also in a sexless 42-year long relationship and I enjoy all my sessions, edging, a-less, Aneros and once in a while a good traditional orgasm with ejaculation. My wife has no idea about any of my own self pleasures and life is wonderful.
No strings, lots of pleasures and the only rule is no cheating on each other (with someone else that is). Life is meant to be fully enjoyed.
Good vibes to you.
SOwithoutAneros
@GGringo, well said, soulmate! Cheers, Mart
goldenboy
@WetDream63 You can put yourself into chastity, either in a cock cage (where you are the keyholder) or in a “chastity cup” (which I practice regularly). That plus regular Aneros sessions and infrequent ejaculations (through semen retention) gives you the best time of your life! Listen to your Aneros ‘buddies’ — they’re looking out for you!
Turnrow
To me, you got the short end of the deal. Us older guys need access to all of our erogenous zones as sexual intimacy with our spouses wanes with little to no intercourse. Life is too short to sign away any pleasure my dick can give me.
Renegotiate or take things in hands.
newjoytoy
My wife is 56, I’m 59. We made this arrangement this year that we have sex every Friday night, great way to start the weekend, I think, she did too. What it’s turned into is that if I don’t initiate it, it doesn’t happen. Since I’m the one always initiating I’m the one getting all the rejection too. This week I’m just chillin’. If she doesn’t initiate it, I’m not going to. Sex is good when we have it, she really gets into it when we do it, and she just glows for the next few days. She just doesn’t want to initiate it. We’re certainly not models but we’re in pretty darn good shape for our age.
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fred27
Seems to be a common thread! My wife does not initiate sex and has medical issues with self lubrication so when we do have sex it is necessary to use a jell. Does not like anything anal so treasure the moments with my Aneros! Guess we all should form a club to compare notes!
Bladerunner
My wife and I have been happily married 43 years but her desire for sex is practically gone. So prostate massage has been a great alternative, even though I am still very much physically attracted to my wife.
WetDream63
Thanks guys for all the comments! Sexless marriages are pretty common unfortunately. In my case the restrictions are my doing – my kink so to speak. I enjoy denial, enjoy having my penis denied in favour of my prostate, I enjoy being soft. While a marriage with regular sex, say once or twice a week would be fantastic, it is not going to happen. Three or four times a year is worse than none. So, now I rather like this absolutely sexless marriage. She does too. A lot more kissing and cuddling as she now is comforted by the fact that sex will not happen.
Bladerunner
I’m at the stage where I enjoy prostate orgasms as much if not more than penile. The challenge is, on the rare occasion when my wife would enjoy having sex, it’s difficult to transition from prostate to penile orgasms. I am thinking the next time she initiates, I will simply explain the situation and suggest we try a new approach without penetration, and with my prostate device in place and all of the other mutually satisfying techniques at our disposal. A different paradigm after 43 years of traditional sex, but with her libido waning, and mine as strong as ever, this seems to be the right fit (no pun intended!).