This now feels slightly out of place in a blog about using the aneros, but the journey started when I opened that box, and it has taken me in a very unexpected direction.
I have read about spiritual awakening and I can recognise a lot of it happening in myself. I am letting it happen to me. Emotions and thoughts keep washing over me. I imagined myself telling my father that I loved him )it's complex( and broke down in tears as I drove into work. It struck me how similar it was to having an orgasm, the process was out of my control, my breathing seemed to push it further on and my body convulsed slightly and I felt a tension being lifted. I didn't crash. There is some circularity to everything that is happening now.
After this morning it all went quiet. I had a calm day at work. There's probably more to come I just need to wait.
Then I read more about chakras. I'm still slightly confused about them. My friend knows a lot and is keen to guide me, and she knows people who know even more. I will be asking her for more guidance soon as things progress.
Then I had an 'ah-ha!' moment when I read about root chakra and how it is blocked by guilt. My wife made me feel very guilty when I told her about my activities, like I had just told my mother that I had discovered masturbation, and nothing happened after that. Tonight I had a good laugh with the children before bed and now I'm trying to think through my guilt feelings and trying to loosen up.
I felt some stirrings as if something might give soon, just a flicker but it's given me some hope.
Some good sex again last night. My wife is all over me and wants to make love all the time. It's nice, in fact it hasn't happened for years, slightly confusing though but that just about sums up life at the moment.