Okay, so I have an update to my last post, which mentioned physical problems accomodating any kind of penetration.
I still don't know exactly what to call the problem. I think hemorrhoids, likely, at least play some part. I can... um... appreciate them. One feels like a bump, and one feels like a.. well, pardon the overload of imagery but, it feels like a ... flap of flesh.
Yeah. Ick, I know. I've read a few things about them, and I know for sure that I gravely need to modify my diet. I work on this even now.
But unless you can have a hemorrhoid extending the entire length of the canal (possible maybe), I have some other problem as well:
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Imagine the above as a cross-section view of the anus, terminating in the opening at the far right. Ok. I feel more like.... this below:
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Does that make sense? I don't... line up with the opening. A giant mass of muscle (represented by asterisks) lies directly in the path of my opening (represented by left parentheses). These don't come out "to scale" or anything, but I had to exaggerate, given the medium.
Forgive the ascii art. I thought and thought about how to describe this and figured drawings would do the job quickest.
Okay, so you can imagine this significantly hinders penetration. Imagine a strongman clamping down. At best mobility didn't exist, at worst my anus would actively spit the object out. Either way I felt much discomfort and sometimes even slight pain, amplified in sensation by frustration.
Well, I feel very happy to say I think I've finally begun to turn this around. I thought about the original use of the Aneros, as a health device. I decided to try using my smallest Peridise in just that way, to... massage this obdurate mass of muscle into something a bit more yielding.
It seems to work, so far. I still have a way to go, but I definitely notice real progress in ease of insertion, ease of retention, and best of all, amount of good feelings. I didn't have any Os this last session, but phew did I experience nice nice things. The Peridise just kind of... took me. Like you know in corny movies the woman says "take me now!". Like that, hehe. Of course I loved that.
It feels like the horizon has finally started to brighten, the wind has picked up, and I can see --if I stare closely-- the gray slowly driven away by the breeze. Woot!
So um yeah, clumsy wordiness aside, things look up in PQ-Land.
Just in time, too, because the eggs do have downsides. I start to wonder if they might interfere with circulation, or, almost as bad, desensitize me to organic pleasure. Plus sometimes they,... sting.
Ok so I gotta fly and listen to some psytrance. You all take care, all right?
All the best to you on your journeys.
-PQ
