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06/02/2018 4:15 am
Hello Newbs-
This is a post for rookies who haven't had any orgasms, and are concerned about technique, moods, and progress. E.g., me. I started Aneros use 3-4 months ago, but I think I can add a few words of wisdom that'll help us new recruits unclench a little, so to speak.
Most importantly, I always defer to veteran users like @rumel , @GGringo, @techpump and many others with far more extensive advice and experience than I. And if you haven't read the Wiki, read it. I mean, really read it, and refer to it often. However, I kept seeing posts from befuddled guys with the same Qs and flight hours that I have, so I figured that it might help to hear thoughts from someone who isn't climbing the walls in orgasmic bliss, but who has had some significant revelations.
1. Get rid of envy and comparisons. For a while I felt terribly jealous and frustrated by all the 'wowee!' posts. You've read them, I'm sure: 'Wowee, I tried this for the first time today and had seventeen Super-O's in a row, then had nine hands-free wet orgasms, then fucked my three girlfriends, then had a couple Aless (Aneroless) orgasms to boot! Can't wait for my second session!' Dispense with those right away--they'll ruin everything. These are anomalies, not norms.
My most significant milestone by far has been realizing that no single piece of advice works the same way for two of us, nor are any of our paths alike, not in time, landmarks, nor pace. Since we're all different in our sensual and sexual preferences, not to mention our anatomies, it's common sense that we'll all have different responses to these little doodads. Accept that your fun with your new toys is yours alone, relax and enjoy the rides, and you're cleared for launch.
2. If you have warmth, satisfaction, buzzing, slight contractions (induced, voluntary, or somewhere in between), tingles, or spikes of unusual pleasure that ebb and flow, congratulations. You're not on your way to anything; those are bonafide joys. They'll very likely evolve with time and practice, but don't speed past the scenery to get to the world's second largest ball of string. That goes for when you feel something wonderful and strange approaching as well. Don't psych yourself out of it--that means you psyched yourself into it. Is an orgasm the only reason we have sex? Is it the only pleasure? Hell no to both, right? The same is true with an Aneros session. Whatever happens, don't accept it--embrace it. That alone is the ticket to your evolution, because it fosters more pleasure. Expecting a sudden 'bam!' is not only wrong, it's counterproductive. Some guys may indeed suddenly find the right hole for the Staff of Ra, so the sun shoots through and God tells them where the Ark is buried. Bully for them. This is the case with our wanking orgasms--BAM! But the prostate gland is a very different piece of hardware, so throw away what works for your penis--mentally as well as physically--and you'll be much more satisfied (Read rewiring on the forum or wiki.)
2. Try isolating your various stimuli. That is, Aneros play, prostate milking, sex, and good old-fashioned wanking are probably best when they're sold separately. The reason is that you won't be able to feel and understand all the new sensations when they're shaken or stirred together. For example, I have an N-joy for milking, which I'm new to as well. It feels wonderful when done gently and languidly, but it's a bull in a china shop compared to an Aneros. The sessions in which I've tried both, I've enjoyed each half as much. Halve that again when I add masturbation. Aneros play is something to isolate, at least so you can get a truer sense of what these toys really do. You won't hear a whisper if other voices are shouting. Adding to this, lots of men go for a good whack after an Aneros session. I don't. It's like my Johnson* and my prostate are getting mixed signals, and neither knows who gets what.
3. A few odds & sods:
~Try Kegels. I compiled some links from the advanced practitioners and posts around here, and I'm starting to feel more powerful and responsive because of them. Kegels are good for you in every way. Experiment with Kegels and your Aneros toy, and alone. It'll get you more in touch with all your bits and pieces that you've taken for granted.
~Meditation is excellent. I'm not a spiritual guy, but I meditate regularly, and awareness of your breathing, body, and state of mind is an important tool for your sensual- not sexual- development; sexual development is contingent upon the sensual. Anyway, I think of Aneros sessions as meditation of sorts, and that makes it all worthwhile, regardless of the sexual pleasure.
~There isn't a 'right' Aneros. I have seven, and they all work in different ways at different times. Try whatever you like. Variety is the spice of life, yes? With a little investment, you'll find what works best for you.
~Hard-ons are irrelevant. Some men get them. I don't. But there is no causal connection between erections and prostate pleasure. Men experience these completely interchangeably, and again, we're all unique.
The pleasure from Aneros is on a continuum, one that develops with time and awareness. I don't believe in quantum leaps; when people use this term, they don't see the thousand invisible steps that lead up to the big payoff. Jimmy Page didn't descend from the clouds as a guitarist--he practiced ad nauseum. So practice. The worst that can happen is that you have some quiet time to yourself. The best that can happen is that you abandon inhibitions and redefine pleasure.
Good luck, best of pleasures, and continued thanks to the guys who make this forum possible. Their time and guidance keeps me pointing north...or south.
Zenopause
*What do you need that for, dude?
06/02/2018 6:10 am
@Zenopause IMHO, you "hit the mark" with this post! Clear, thoughtful and full of good tips. BTW, though, what are "sods"?
06/02/2018 7:29 am
06/02/2018 7:46 am
Thanks for this post.
As a rookie, this might help me.
"Whatever happens, don't accept it--embrace it." <-- is there a difference, and if so, what is the difference, and specifically, how do you embrace it.
I love the Ark of the Covenant reference. 🙂
I know your post is well-intentioned, however it has once again reminded me of why I do get frustrated from time to time and why maybe i have such slow progress. There is a fundamental disconnect between helpful posts and the frustrated readers being able to put it into practice, due to language.
Consider "Whatever happens, don't accept it--embrace it." - I don't know what this means and how to put it into reality. How exactly specifically does one embrace aneros practice in this way? What are the step-by-step instructions required? Simply telling us to embrace it is akin to the following exchange:
A: "Build me a Space Shuttle."
B: "How? I don't know anything about construction materials and space flight"
A: "Look, the US built it already. You can too. Just build me a Space Shuttle."
B: "It doesn't work like that, I don't know enough to get started"
A: "Embrace the build-process."
A: ".........."
Do we have any such posts for those with lots of experience who are nowhere near an orgasm of any sort?
06/02/2018 8:05 am
@lonewolf8 Thanks! Your reply post to @Zenopause is great because it helps to construct a scenic Aneros "highway". Perhaps all of us Aneros "professionals" should slow-down, articulate and write for the newbies without much experience. We should really try to help them understand what is happening to them in their Aneros sessions, not constantly brag about our accomplishments!
Topic starter
06/02/2018 2:47 pm
@lonewolf8 and @goldenboy -
Thanks for the compliments and interesting questions.
I wrote that post for myself as much as anyone, because my Aneros use often comes with sighs and glances at the clock. For a senior user like you, Mr. Wolf, I can understand how that frustration could be amplified, especially when newer users report such rollicking orgasms.
And Goldenboy, I think assuaging newbie concerns is a grand idear. I'd like to hear such from you, regardless--I always look forward to your posts, and your sensibilities and insights have already helped me quite a bit. Newbs could really benefit from reading about hurdles, lack of progress, and general confusion from experienced users' points of view. Sometimes just knowing that the heavies have been through/are going through the same thing is enough to perk us upstarts up, and the old ranch hands could always use some hot new tips as well.
Lonewolf, sorry if my abstract to concrete got mushy. I understand your space shuttle analogy (my son used to ask me to build robots with him in the same way.) By 'embrace it,' I think I meant that whatever happens in a session, from blah to Jesus, the best thing to do is not chalk it up as failure or success. Male hardware is notoriously fickle (middle school boners in math class, anyone? How about the first night with a new lady, when hard-on stamina evaporates, despite years of sex and masturbation?) Anyway, trying to force a physio-sexual response from the prostate is a waste of time, and it breeds frustration. I know--I still do it constantly, and I'm teaching myself not to. So Aneros sessions, in my mind, aren't things we should accept. Acceptance is a rotten word; I accept my wife...I accept Muslims... it connotes coming to terms with an unwanted reality that we can't change. We accept our flaws. We accept apologies. My preferred word is embrace, because it means that whatever I feel during a session is great, no qualifiers. It's much more positive. Last night, in fact, I was using the larger of the Peridise twins (I liked that post about the guy who suddenly had a great response with it after lots of doing nothing, and wanted to try it), and after a couple of hours, I'd racked up a few pleasant twinges, a hint of automatic movement or contractions, and some small waves of warmth and buzzing along the superhighway. So instead of accepting that yet again, my prostate had stage fright and wouldn't be performing tonight, I embraced the fact that I had some lovely me-time within which I read, wrote, and practiced some pleasurable movement and breathing. My prostate responds to an Aneros the way it knows how to right now, with gradually increasing curiosity--it's like I'm watching a very timid bird approaching a feeder for the first time. I'm not going to stand over it with my arms crossed yelling at it to come; that'll just make it withdraw even more. Instead, I'll spend an hour or two with my very quiet, intriguing new acquaintance, and not expect anything from it. And the less I demand of its silent company, the better it'll respond. Even patience is a word to be avoided...I have patience for dissenting opinions. I have patience for old people. It means you tolerate things in exchange for karma points. No good. I embraced last night's session, and I slept very well afterward.
I guess it's about labels. I was mentally sticking boredom, failure, frustration, etc. on my Aneros sessions. And by letting my worries get to the controls, I inadvertently poured cold water on things in advance. It's called scripting in psychology (all apologies if I'm patronizing). Remember the character Worry in 'Inside Out'? That guy doesn't belong anywhere near my prostate; Joy does, and Joy alone. Aneros feels good...Joy's department, not Worry's. Embrace, rather than accepting.
I'm 52. In the last few months, I've come to understand my prostate and its delicate feedback much better. I've read lots more about its anatomy and function, and I've had sensations I never had before. I haven't experienced anything like what some people describe (dry Os, super-Os, Spaghetti-Os), but I can say that my sessions are more rewarding than they were at first. My body looks forward to Aneros use, and welcomes the toys now, instead of accepting them. My nipples are becoming a subtle new pleasure spot, as are my perineum and my external sphincter muscles. I'm in better touch with my sensuality than I ever have been. I contend that it's my mindset that's changing, and that's promoting physiological evolution.
All that said, I'm a man of science too, and I always try to pry the facts from the mumbo-jumbo. There are physiological realities to our sexual equipment, and they are not limitless. I don't know what or where the limits to my new pleasures are. But the exciting part of my new quest is to keep exploring and expanding them. That's what I mean by embracing, I guess. If someone told you that you'll never experience a true prostate, dry, HF, wet, or super orgasm, would you stop using Aneros? I wouldn't. The silly little things feel terrific.
Pleasures occur along a 4-dimensional nebula, not a linear x-y graph. Regardless, I truly hope that your pleasures are always on the rise, boys.
Best,
Z
Odds and Sods was a nod to The Who, the very balls of rock and roll.
"...Someone takes his pants off and the rafters knock
Rock is dead, they say
Long live rock..."
- Pete Townshend
06/03/2018 7:21 pm
You should blog Zenopause. It's clear you have a rapidly developing passion for the orgasmic and literary arts ;P
Plus what you were saying about embracing all experiences. Putting it down on paper (so to speak) somehow sets it into your memory. So writing all these positive affirmations and varying welcome sensations down? Gonna inform others AND solidify your mental positivity.
As always, enjoy exploring your 4-dimentional nebulass
Topic starter
06/03/2018 11:52 pm
@Kazama -
You're a real sweetheart, in a we're-secure-with-our-masculinity way, of course...cough...quick, back to our power tools! And yep, I am a passionate career academic sort with a long, tedious literary background. It keeps me in doughnuts, sort of.
Per your kind words, I just backed up my posts, and I actually registered the domain www.zenopause.org today. Zenopause.com was taken-- can you believe it? I'm Zenopause, damn it! Accept no substitutes. Ah, well. Dot org sounds more orgasmic. Funny how I didn't stumble across the literal and figurative other half of me until this, my 50s...I always liked the sensations of plugs and anal toys, but it never occurred to me to investigate the science and sensuality behind my behind. What's your story?
And what do you know about blogging? I've never tried it, although the idea tickles my fancy. Do people make any money at it? Not the goal, but worth a raised eyebrow. And don't some of the VeterAnerians have blogs already? Piss poor justification for not doing it, I guess, but I'm not sure what else I could offer. Musings from a sometimes-do-well, maybe. I genuinely do preach the gospel of emotional, intellectual, and physical wellness. Good shit, these.
Anyway, genuine thanks. I'm glad to know you. Keep your writing coming too, will you? You're a kindred spirit who's farther along than I, and sometimes I need a boost.
Z
PS. Nebulass...snort. More like dementia.
PPS. Any luck with your modified black glob? Did you cram it somewhere darker yet?
06/04/2018 3:42 pm
What a well-versed post!
I agree that our plumbing rather tricky...Almost as mysterious and mind-bending as asking my girl what would she like for dinner.
Thank you for mentioning the Wiki. I admit that I fall into the camp of those who have skimmed it and wanted to experience pleasure on Orgasm Island first without even taking the map out to find it!
I mean I had the basics yet I did not attempt the one word that I think we all as noobs need...the word "mastery."
Wel done, Z, well done.
P.S. There are blogs that you can create here on Aneros or you can link your domain name to a decent platform like Wordpress.
P.S.S. Why your first post doesn't have a lot of likes is beyond me!
Topic starter
06/05/2018 2:07 am
I truly appreciate your kind words. They validate my reasons for posting: Deeper men seek deeper pleasures, and many of us just need some advice and encouragement about navigating the hidden byways of our sensuality and sexuality. Our dicks are linear in all ways, designed to go from A to B with no stops in-between. Our prostates and surrounding geography are no such thing; they're literally circular(ish), protected, insulated, so need much more sophisticated ministrations. But broaching anal and prostate play, even to our lifelong pals and mates, can elicit such shame or disapproval that we're often afraid to voice our vice, for fear of condemnation. There are scads of posts about how/if/when to let your lover know about Aneros play; they have the dark tone of confessional. I humbly submit that this is horseshit. We learn shame. That means we can learn otherwise.
Re. Mastery, I have a modest background in martial arts*, and our instructor had an instructor named Bruce Lee. Our dude told us that Bruce used to say that there was no such thing as mastery, because it connotes finish lines-- anathema to lifelong learning. Bruce called himself a student. So did our instructor. I always loved that...it means there's always more we can discover.
Anyway, genuine thanks, and I may be poking you a bit for some blogging tips along the way. That's what you get for being a nice guy.
Hope you figured out dinner.
Zenopause
*A gross overstatement- that was 30 years ago, and I sucked. The most practical thing I learned indirectly from Bruce hisself was to run like hell when there's trouble. Hey, something I could actually be good at!
06/05/2018 12:16 pm
@Zenopause, I think this thread posting is a wonderfully succinct notation of important aspects of the Aneros Journey and I have included it in the Cherry Picks - The most deliciously informative posts we know! thread. I'm very pleased you took the time to expand upon @lonewolf8 's comment and cleared up the potential semantic confusion about the "Whatever happens, don't accept it--embrace it." statement. I agree with the embrace it sentiment but I also believe in accepting the sensations our bodies generate for us without judgment or prejudice.
Good Vibes to You ! 
06/05/2018 2:51 pm
I truly appreciate your kind words. They validate my reasons for posting: Deeper men seek deeper pleasures, and many of us just need some advice and encouragement about navigating the hidden byways of our sensuality and sexuality. Our dicks are linear in all ways, designed to go from A to B with no stops in-between. Our prostates and surrounding geography are no such thing; they're literally circular(ish), protected, insulated, so need much more sophisticated ministrations. But broaching anal and prostate play, even to our lifelong pals and mates, can elicit such shame or disapproval that we're often afraid to voice our vice, for fear of condemnation. There are scads of posts about how/if/when to let your lover know about Aneros play; they have the dark tone of confessional. I humbly submit that this is horse****. We learn shame. That means we can learn otherwise.
Re. Mastery, I have a modest background in martial arts*, and our instructor had an instructor named Bruce Lee. Our dude told us that Bruce used to say that there was no such thing as mastery, because it connotes finish lines-- anathema to lifelong learning. Bruce called himself a student. So did our instructor. I always loved that...it means there's always more we can discover.
Anyway, genuine thanks, and I may be poking you a bit for some blogging tips along the way. That's what you get for being a nice guy.
Hope you figured out dinner.
Zenopause
*A gross overstatement- that was 30 years ago, and I sucked. The most practical thing I learned indirectly from Bruce hisself was to run like hell when there's trouble. Hey, something I could actually be good at!
I have a blog as well re: men's sexual health. Feel free to PM me if you like to browse around it for ideas. 🙂
Excellent insight about mastery...My mind expanded because of this new information. 🙂
06/08/2018 10:35 pm
Before I go completely off topic, some "Words of Encouragement for Fellow Newbies". Don't be afraid to chime in about your experiences, even if you don't have major questions or deep insights. Especially if you still feel self conscious about anal play "We learn shame. That means we can learn otherwise". There is a difference between simply reading though this forum, and having someone respond to something you've personally posted with welcome encouragement.
Zenopause , I just meant start a blog here mate hahaa . But having your own site is even better 🙂
Do people make any money at it?
Yes, but it's not easy.
Main way is ads, if you're gonna write about MMO's and sex toy experimentation (hoping you are :P), make the ads for the things you mention in the blog.
If you get a following you can create a patreon for people to directly support you.
Some sex/toy blogs I read get given free toys to review! Others have arranged exclusive voucher codes for certain brands, which they get a small income from similar to ad's.
What's your story?
Hmmmm.... think I might blog myself. Go into detail about how I used to be overwhelmingly ashamed of sticking things up my butt. Writing, if only for myself, to cast off those last shackles of judgement. And make many more ass based puns. (Maybe contain some crazed rambling ideas Ive got to a darker corner of this site too. Before they spill out into general conversation onto some poor unsuspecting old dear at church XD)
Keep writing and making me chuckle Z. Always a pleasure.
"I love to see people laugh and I love it more if I can make them laugh"
-Keith Moon
P.S. The silicone experiments are coming along well, black glob will be the toys new nickname. With enough effort I can peel the whole outer layer of silicone off to enjoy the toy as it was, then put it back on later, to enjoy again. Doesn't damage the Aneros or the silicone.
Topic starter
06/09/2018 5:21 pm
Hey Kaz! That's a whole lot of sweet reply, mate. And I made the Cherry Pick list like you said! Virtual high five, chum! Thanks for the props.
You're a Who man, too! Like someone somewhere isn't...love the Keith. He used to hang around with Harry Nilsson and Graham Chapman. Talk about a trio of hellraisers. Wish I coulda been there. Kinda glad I wasn't. Did you know the first thing Pete asked his doctor after surgery for when he broke his hand whirling it around his Les Paul? "Will I be able to wank again?" It brings tears to my eyes. A man after my own heart.
Sorry to sound like a goddamn dunce--but the cap fits. How exactly do I start blogging, and what's the diff between doing one here and having my own website? Don't answer these until you've picked all the lint out of your bellybutton, but I'd like to try it. Since college I've stuck to the narrow tweed path of Word docs and email, so blogging's still hard for me to get my mind around. And Facebook? Forget it. It's a labyrinth of projections, Zuckerberg's a weenie, and I have better things to do...well, scratch that last one. How about 'my ass is more important'? Yeah, more like it. Regardless, if you blog, how about a bit of a link-up, where we refer readers to each other's blogs if poss, and mebbe post shared conversations or projects? On that note, I didn't know the silicone could pop on and off--that's a big selling point. People (me) would dig non-permanent, interchangeable mods. Make 'em fatter, thinner, longer, prostate-ier...
Otter: "In this case, I think we have to go all out. I think this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part."
Bluto: "We're just the guys to do it."
- Animal House
Best of pleasures.
Z
PS- I think you just discovered your own sign off- 'always a pleasure.'
PSS. So you want to read about my further adventures in sex toy experimentation, eh? Please stand by, and grab hold of something sturdy. I'll be right with you.
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