What does your wife/girlfriend think of your Aneros use?

I'm no expert, but just some thoughts:

It's possible some men's wife's might feel threatened by it. Something else is providing him pleasure, and she may feel threatened that it's sort of "replacing her" when it comes to sex/pleasure. I don't think that's the best/right term for it, but I think you understand what I mean.

Also, like you mentioned, some people may think it's not something a straight man should partake in. That could also make one's wife/girlfriend feel threatened. Like she's not doing enough as a woman to meet his sexual desires.

My wife accepts that I do it, but I know she's not 100% "in full support" of it. She provides me some freedom for things like this, and we make sure we're open about our feelings.

Maybe tell her you're concerned about her feelings about it, and that might help open the communication lines a bit more.
Also, do you think she would be open to some light anal play (on you), like using a finger as foreplay? If she's in control of the pleasure, that might not only empower her, but also might turn her on.

When I'm trying to understand why someone does/thinks they things they do, I try to put myself in their shoes, and see it from their side. It's a hard skill to develop, but it's very helpful.

Just some thoughts. Hopefully it might help a bit 🙂
Regardless, best of luck. I'm sure the wise gents here will provide you some advice/experiences that will help.

I'm just wondering if your wife knows about the health benefits of using the aneros. For severel men who''s partners are 'iffy' on the aneros, that is usually a good place to start. That's where I started when I discussed it with my wife before I ever got one, and she's been a full supporter of it ever since.
Of course, the discussion of the health benefits will lead naturally into the big benefits for both of you in the bedroom. I don't know your situation but I know for most of us that's the biggest selling point for our wives or partners. Literally since the day I started using it my wife noticed a huge difference in my performance and reactions to what she does. She says I'm much harder and last a lot longer than before. Have you had the same results?
Have you ever had your aneros inserted when you were in bed with your wife? That usually takes the sex to about three new levels.
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Actually, I've been busy and stressed the last few weeks so my aneros use has kind of taken a back seat. A couple days ago I mentioned that to my wife and she gave me 'that look' and told me to get back at it.....now!
I truly hope you can find a way to get that kind of support from your wife,

My wife is has the "don't ask don't tell" policy. So we don't share that aspect of my sex life. And to be honest I am ok wit this because I really enjoy my solo play and I can 100% focus on me. She will at least now play with my nipples when we do things together.

My girlfriend's OK with it.

(Sorry if this has been asked before)

What does your wife/girlfriend think of your Aneros use?

My wife knows and says that she is fine with it. BUT, when ever I talk about it is very apparent that she is not comfortable with it. It does not matter that I say that have amazing experiences with it. She tries to change the subject or makes little comments that she does not want to talk about it. And when I inquire why it bothers her, she says that "she doesnt know why". She has sex toys of all kinds and I encourage her to use them, but I am met with a double standard. We are not conservative and it's not a religious issue, I really think she is so hardwired that what I am doing is not "manly" and it is submissive and she does not find it attractive. So I mostly keep it to myself.

Well first, does she come to you talking about what an amazing session she had with her toy? If so then yeah she is being a hypocrite, but I have a feeling she doesn't bring up her solo play.

There are a couple of things here why she may not want to talk about it. In one way it's like you talking about a beautiful woman from work. Does she know you find other women attractive? yeah. Does she want to hear you talk about it? Probably not. You're describing something sexual that doesn't involve her.

Next we are talking about male anal play. Think about a foot fetish. Some people love the idea of licking feet, others would throw up. She probably isn't excited about a man sticking something in his butt, and isn't interested in hearing about it.

My advice is this, drop bringing it up to her. Let it be something personal for you. It sounds like she's made up her mind, and she is free to have her opinions. If you bring it up, complaining about her not being interested, it comes off as not only submissive, but weak, insecure, and whiny. Think she will find that sexy, or attractive? I doubt it. Anyways this is your journey. Think of it as like a night out with your guy friends, or a hobby that you enjoy on your own. Let it be a personal journey of self discovery.

Take some time away from the aneros. Focus on her. Remind her that you can bring her to the edge of orgasmic nirvana, and she will reach it when you choose.

Remind her that you can bring her to the edge of orgasmic nirvana, and she will reach it when you choose.

hmmm, I don't think so, I think she chooses to allow herself to orgasm or not.

I bought it for my husband and so far I'm more exited than him.

The stubborn wife.

My wife does not know....

My wife knows that I have "toys" and is quite OK with that, although she does not know about each and every specific one. She masturbates privately [will NOT allow me to watch] and I stimulate myself privately - she is welcome to watch but chooses not too. She knows I do this partly for health but mostly for pleasure. While she and I both enjoy the "connection" aspect of sexual intercourse, she has said numerous times in the past that she prefers to masturbate.

My wife does not know....

Same for me; she would not approve. Back doors are for one purpose only and it's dirty.

My wife does not know....

Same for me; she would not approve. Back doors are for one purpose only and it's dirty.

I didn't knowe about prostateorgasms before I did a research for an old friend for prostate illness and stumbled on this page and I'm thrilled. Wy is this not something we learn in school? Would you guys let your boys and girls grow up without this oppurtunity? (Or as in our case be aware of in the late 40: th.) Any suggestions how to tell them? (In My case it is not nessesary for some years more.)

The stubborn wife.

hmmm, I don't think so, I think she chooses to allow herself to orgasm or not.

If a woman wants to cum, and you're the one providing the stimulation to achieve an orgasm, you are in control.

Has anyone tried having sex with the aneros inserted? If so, what’s it like? I imagine I would blow my load pretty quickly but I am curious

Ukguy, I have never used my aneros during sex. I could imagine it's pretty intense when you cum. I have used it during a solo session and then both ejaculated with the aneros in and have taken it out. I will tell you with both ways the orgasm when I comes is incredibly intense much more than when just straight masturbaton, and I tend to cum rather quickly as well.

My helix classic arrived today and was delivered by DHL to the door, rather than Canada ost to the parcel locker, so my wife intercepted it. The customs declaration about it being a massager or something like that left her suspicious. So, she asked me to show it to her. Upon seeing it, her reaction was - "well, you will be wanting a penis inside you next" so maybe we should have a chat about rules of play.

My wife is fully supportive and even ordered it online. I first showed her testimonials on this site. Multiple mind numbing orgasms over extended periods of time got her attention. Mine too! I always kidded her I was jealous of her being muti orgasmic. She told me to go for it. I rewired quickly on my own and then slowly introduced it into our sex lives. We use it occasionally and it really sends me out my mind, I have experienced a prostate orgasm and traditional orgasm at the same time, just wow! We have also tried pegging a couple of times to get her more involved, more involved from the point she is bringing me the pleasure, not the toy. One last thing that is the best thing sexually since my rewiring is that when she blows me she will rub my perineum, this triggers multiple dry orgasms. I feel blessed to have found this site. Every man in the world needs to know about this. One last thing, I was always against any butt play, too bad I waited 50 years.

coming from a conservative family, my wife did not like the idea of anything to do with my backdoor except for dumping waste
it took me awhile and lots of talking to change her mind
luckily now she enjoys digging my prostate, but with 2 conditions. she would not do it with her bare finger and after the session, the bed sheets remain clean.

Gloves are a very good idea for 'fingers on' prostate stimulation. Gloves as in medical gloves, which are easy to obtain at a decent drugstore. We bought a big box of nitrile ones last time we made a pilgrimage to Costco. We use them for protecting hands when painting etc. I'd love to get my wife back into giving me prostate massage and milkings - perhaps when her hormonal changes settle down and she stops being so preoccupied with phantom symptoms.

I didn't knowe about prostateorgasms before I did a research for an old friend for prostate illness and stumbled on this page and I'm thrilled. Wy is this not something we learn in school? Would you guys let your boys and girls grow up without this oppurtunity? (Or as in our case be aware of in the late 40: th.) Any suggestions how to tell them? (In My case it is not nessesary for some years more.)

The stubborn wife.

The country I live in is currently removing plain sexual education from schools. Don't get me started about prostate.

How to tell boys ? If you must, tell them it will make them even hornier, or make them bite pillows. Tell them it will enable them to satisfy girls more (frankly, many guys don't care because they're selfish) or give them an edge over other lovers. Tell them it gives stronger erections, ejaculations, and magnifies pleasure during orgasm. If they say something about it being kinda gay or unmanly, you can counter with "But when a girl gives you oral sex you're submissive anyway, because she is in control."

But I would tell girls instead. Tell them it awakens man's erogenous zones and makes him understand a woman better in bed. If a hot girlfriend asked me something kinky and wanted to watch, masturbating nearby the whole time, I wouldn't refuse. A girl could say something like "If you do your best to learn that, I will do my best to learn deepthroat." That's an offer no guy can refuse. Furthermore, many guys are afraid of being accused of being gay, so if a girl comes forward with this, the guy knows in advance he has approval.

My helix classic arrived today and was delivered by DHL to the door, rather than Canada ost to the parcel locker, so my wife intercepted it. The customs declaration about it being a massager or something like that left her suspicious. So, she asked me to show it to her. Upon seeing it, her reaction was - "well, you will be wanting a penis inside you next" so maybe we should have a chat about rules of play.

Tell her it's bullshit, because prostate massage requires massage for at least 30 minutes (many of us do it for longer), and that's something no penis can provide. She clearly didn't think about it.

Tell her it's bullshit, because prostate massage requires massage for at least 30 minutes (many of us do it for longer), and that's something no penis can provide. She clearly didn't think about it.

A gangbang might be able to do it? Not one, but dozens of penises.

Wonder if it's possible to calculate, theoretically of course, how large a gangbang is needed, in order to provide a certain number of hours worth of un-interrupted prostate stimulation, based on how long each member of a gangbang can last, and what their refactory period is.

My wife was just tormenting me that day, something she tends to do from time to time. Since she doesn't want to have sex, she knows I need to do solo stuff. She even bought me a Lelo Hugo a couple years ago, so its all good.

A gangbang, or a guy with DE. Back when we did have sex, I had the capability of going for an hour or more, but had to scale back to giving her 2 orgasms, then stopping. Coitus reservatus - which actually is much better than one would think. For any menopausal woman, I would highly recommend doing that if the guy has good endurance - give her an O or 2 and then stop - don't keep going until you climax.

A gangbang might be able to do it? Not one, but dozens of penises.

Wonder if it's possible to calculate, theoretically of course, how large a gangbang is needed, in order to provide a certain number of hours worth of un-interrupted prostate stimulation, based on how long each member of a gangbang can last, and what their refactory period is.

Yes, a gangbang where guys are fucking you non stop, one takes over just as another cums in your butt. That would require either a group of 15 year olds (legal in my country... although they can't go to urlogist/gynecologist without parents! And 15yo have smallish dicks). Or a couple of fluffers to keep those guys hard. Don't forget that each of them needs to know how to hit your prostate.

This jumping to conclusions is getting even more ridiculous. "You put a plastic toy in your butt... next time you will want a group of sweaty guys and their fluffers to fuck you.". Like something out of a dumb joke.

A wife carefully examines her husband's suit as he returns home. She finds not a single hair. "Just great! now you don't even leave bald women alone!"

The country I live in is currently removing plain sexual education from schools. Don't get me started about prostate.

How to tell boys ? If you must, tell them it will make them even hornier, or make them bite pillows. Tell them it will enable them to satisfy girls more (frankly, many guys don't care because they're selfish) or give them an edge over other lovers. Tell them it gives stronger erections, ejaculations, and magnifies pleasure during orgasm. If they say something about it being kinda gay or unmanly, you can counter with "But when a girl gives you oral sex you're submissive anyway, because she is in control."

But I would tell girls instead. Tell them it awakens man's erogenous zones and makes him understand a woman better in bed. If a hot girlfriend asked me something kinky and wanted to watch, masturbating nearby the whole time, I wouldn't refuse. A girl could say something like "If you do your best to learn that, I will do my best to learn deepthroat." That's an offer no guy can refuse. Furthermore, many guys are afraid of being accused of being gay, so if a girl comes forward with this, the guy knows in advance he has approval.

I agree with everything you say. Still I believe kids dont want to know that their parants does this kind of things.
How would you guys react if your mother had told you to start with prostatemassage?

We talk freely about sex at home but backdoor is another thing.( Children don't want to know that mom loves to put her gloved fingers into dad's ass.)

The stubborn wife

Tell her it's bullshit, because prostate massage requires massage for at least 30 minutes (many of us do it for longer), and that's something no penis can provide. She clearly didn't think about it.

Not necessarily 30 minutes. I have dry Os within 1-3 minutes most sessions. But I've never had a cock in my ass, so it's kind of impossible to know what a cock would do to me and my prostate...

My helix classic arrived today and was delivered by DHL to the door, rather than Canada ost to the parcel locker, so my wife intercepted it. The customs declaration about it being a massager or something like that left her suspicious. So, she asked me to show it to her. Upon seeing it, her reaction was - "well, you will be wanting a penis inside you next" so maybe we should have a chat about rules of play.

Your wife has no idea what she's talking about. I've been using prostate massagers non stop for the last 14 years and I STILL don't feel like I'm gay for men. If anything my wife and I have more amazing sex now than we did 20 years ago when we started together. You should ask your wife if she's perhaps jealous that you'll be having multiple orgasms. Or ask her if she's jealous that you'll be experiencing feelings and sensations somewhat similar to what she experiences.

Or, I'll ask the hard question: Does she have orgasms? When you two are together or when she's alone, or both?

I find the biggest problem women likely have over their men attaining orgasms through anal play/prostate stimulation is the fact that men can have Os over and over and over, just like women can, and that brings the genders closer together and more "equal" in the sexual sense. I think a lot of women hate this fact--that men can "do" what traditionally "only women could do." That's why they throw that whole "gay" or "now you'll want a cock in your ass" thing at their male partners.

Sex is a pathway to oneness and unity between partners. It is soul-bearing. It is pleasurable physically but at some point it becomes more pleasurable emotionally and spiritually/metaphysically. My soul feels more nourished from sex than my body does. Having a massager designed to engage more nerves, muscles and other tissue in your genitals only helps open up the pathways that lead to higher, more elevated forms of consciousness and enlightenment. Two people in love can find these roads together. Just as men are taught/trained to help women unlock the doors barring them from these states of ecstasy and self-enrichment by performing g-spot massage on them, so too can men unlock these same doors through prostate stimulation. (The prostate and G-spot are biologically similar and nearly identical anyway!!!!)

I ask: If women can become liberated through g-spot orgasmic release, then why can't men become liberated through prostatic orgasmic release? Why does gender and binary ideas of sexuality (heterosexual/homosexual) make one form of orgasm ok and liberating for women, yet those same women chastise men for wanting the same kind of thing?

It's all about love anyway. Either your partner loves you and what you believe in or they do not. If they do not love something about you, it needs to be worked out. I know we're not all perfect and can't accept every single aspect of our partners, but we can at least be patient and try 🙂

Sex is a pathway to oneness and unity between partners. It is soul-bearing. It is pleasurable physically but at some point it becomes more pleasurable emotionally and spiritually/metaphysically. My soul feels more nourished from sex than my body does.

I couldn't agree more!

Reading all the comments, I'm a bit surprised how many of you have unsupporting partners. On the other hand, that's typical human behaviour and shouldn't be surprising. IMHO, there are no "bad" persons/partners, but only persons dealing with insecurities and hurt - they simply have no peace of mind. Being defensive or (passive) aggressive acts a shield and is their way to compensate. The answer is (as always): communication, education & love. It's super hard (and tiring) to walk up to someone who is rejecting oneself and "pamper" them with even more love and attention. But more than often, that's exactly what's necessary.

Cheers, Unfug