Very close...but still can't reach that point

@goodtobeaman,

Like your Username! Very apt!

Seems to me you are on exactly the right track. Just keep up what you are doing. There is really no 'last hurdle'. You will eventually reach a time when almost every session is a winner although, even after three years, I have found that some sessions are better winners than others (if that makes sense). It is indeed a mental state. All orgasms exist in the brain, as does the pleasure received in moving towards them.

The most difficult of your questions to answer is the "What is the key to relax?" one. Mind noise is the greatest enemy to progress in this business. I'm still not sure that I have a complete answer to this one. Use of fantasy seems to help, as does attempting to concentrate on the internal physical feelings that are taking place. I just wish I could learn Transcendental Meditation online!

Your final question will answer itself in time. When you receive your first real super-O, you will probably know it from the fact that it just keeps going naturally. Just don't try to make it long. It will happen of its own accord!

I agree with Pommie. There are no hurdles except self created ones. Anxiety and stress
and above all unrealistic expectations. I am one of those who blow hot and cold over my Aneros sessions. At the moment, I am feeling the cold zone. It's like a light from a torch. It comes on strong and then is a few minutes the battery goes flat. However, when I am in the hot or warm zone, I feel great surges of exquisite pleasure but no "over the top" sensation. I may be wrong but I don't think it exists. Ejaculation orgasm goes over the top. It is unstoppable ( in most instances )' and the seamen is pumped out. Then over!
Holding false hopes, can lead to frustration. I want to get to the peak of my pleasure and hold on to it. That's my idea of Anerous Orgasm. I can cry out, moan, gasp, laugh, smile shake quiver and just wallow in it. That's my idea of orgasm. It's far better not to force but to gently tweak the muscles and focus on each little sensation. Repeat and return to it, savour the flavour! As someone said, look at the flowers as you go along the path. Enjoy the present; that little hint of something subtle happening deep inside. It might expand into something you didn't expect. Delight in it and enjoy.

I'm a relative newbie as well, but have been having some success. What has worked for me is to lay calmly for a minute or two after your Aneros massager is in place, then take a few slow, deep breaths concentrating on your hands slowly moving up and down on your chest. Then a couple of kegels and as Pommie said a bit of fantasizing. The hardest part for me the first time or two "over the hurdle" was to just let go. I just kept thinking, let it go, let it happen. Stick with it, it's a fun journey!