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06/30/2024 9:07 am
I've been using aneros for 12 years and never got to achieve great pleasure, sometimes I reach some pleasure which is interesting and keeps me wanting to try more.
What I feel though is frustration, I have many models and they sort of all work the same for me. I don't know what my problem is, I have some I will talk about below, but honestly after all this time I fear I will never be able to achieve good dry orgasms (and much less a super o).
Actually talking about this makes me very anxious/sorrowful as I feel I won't be able to get it. I actually had to gather some motivation to write this as it makes me feel so frustrated I gave up writing it sometimes.
So what problems do I face I think hinder me? Let's talk about it.
1) Depression.
I'm 37, and all my adult life I've been filled with depression and anxiety, the intensity has varying over the years but it's getting worse over the years (as I feel I will never escape it and reach my life goals, including my sexual problems that make me feel with no self esteem).
I understand this is clearly not ideal at all for aneros sessions, it's just something though I can't escape. I've tried psychologists/psychotherapists for 15 years (absolutely useless) also psychiatrists for 15 years as well, I've tried antidepressants from several different families but no effect. I am wanting to try psychadelic depression treatment, I feel it is one of the few things left to try. And if it doesn't work…
Have any of you that have/battled depression managed to get lots of pleasure with aneros?
2) Premature ejaculation
One of the reasons I'm depressed is my sexual problems and this is one of the strongest. I have HFWOs in sessions sometimes and it ruins the entire thing for me. When I feel I'm close to feeling nice things I feel the build up and I either stop or eventually ejaculate. Nipples seem to intensity things which also includes make me closer to the ejaculation.
Have any of you with premature ejaculation manage to have strong dry os? If you had hfwos how did you get past them?
Because of this I've been in the past few years using a desensitiving spray on my dick during sessions so that I barely can feel it. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing for the productivity of the sessions but I feel more confortable as I don't feel the "pressure" when I get hard and feel my dick having sensations which can quickly unravel even without touch.
Maybe related to this, I don't know, is that I *think* my kegel muscles overreact. I say I think because I'm not sure. I know pelvic floor imbalance can cause premature ejaculation but honestly I don't know if I have it. Is there a way I can "check" if I have it? (even professionally if that is the case).
By overreating I mean some sensations on my dick make me kegel involuntarily, especially when hard, the same when I'm having my prostate stimulated, my kegel muscles just start contracting over and over again, staying contracted for some seconds, then releasing. If I'm soft and I try to pull my dick out through my glans I also often involuntarily kegel for some seconds then it stops and starts again.
This happens frequently in my aneros sessions when I get hard and my dick dance with it but there's not much pleasure in it. I know from watching vídeos and stuff people have this dick movement when they're having nice pleasure but in my case I think I do it way before it can build up. When I have my best aneros sessions and feel some nice pleasure I am generally hard and my dick is doing this too but I feel the contractions are slightly different, they feel more… like a sideway movement? I can't explain.
I know about reverse kegels but I don't even know if I have this imbalance and I never got myself to do kegel exercises consistently because of motivation and doubt it can help.
Did any of you can advise on this?
3) Lack of sex drive
It may be the depression, may be because I'm overweight, I don't know. I had low testosterone but I am taking meds for that and my levels should be normal and I notice little difference. I know it is required for good sessions but I just don't know how to work around this.
4) Being overweight?
I am overweight (I'm 1.73 m and 120 kg - by this looks super overweight but I'm bulkier than normal so I'm not a complete blob of fat - almost). I know this isn't ideal either but I don't know if it will make any difference if magically I was to lose some weight (despair and lack of motivation from depression say hi).
Sometimes I wonder if I was thinner the aneros would work better or my prostate would be better stimulated? I don't know.
Did any of you that underwent weight change notice difference in your sessions?
Other problems / methods / notes
A) I generally use the do nothing method. It might not be the right thing for me but it is the one that allows me to fully relax. When I try to do things like contractions, deep breathing, etc, I feel I can't relax because I have to focus on doing that and it sort of kills my mindset. I don't know if there is something I need to change here.
B) Trying recreational drugs. I know many people say THC really helps having better sessions, I never tried because in my country (Portugal) it is illegal yet and I don't know the kind of connections to get it by other means. I am very curious to try because I think one of my big problems is the depression/sadness/disbelief, if I could take that away for some time maybe it would really help me? Well maybe, I don't know because I don't know what my problem is or if I have several and have to get them all fixed.
I am also curious on psychadelics. I know some people have talked about it here but I don't think anyone tried it consistently with aneros? (I don't even know if it will help I am just curious - again in the same let me rip out my mind and try things with a different perspective).
I have tried poppers but I don't feel the increase in sex drive people mention. I feel the "rush" thing and my heart racing a bit, sometimes it makes me start kegeling but it doesn't lead to increased arousal or pleasure.
C) I have many aneros models, almost all of them, also the njoy purewand, including the Psy. Honestly they all feel the same for me, with Psy I don't even know what to do with it, I change the arms around but all positions all feel similar to me. With the purewand I can target the prostate but I don't feel much pleasure from it, it actually feels intense but not in a sexually pleasure way, more like an uncomfortable overstimulation (sort of like the glans after ejaculating). I can feel some pleasure but it doesn't lead me nowhere and as I have to make it move by myself I can never be super relaxed.
I also have periside and tempo but I never got them to do anything special. Honestly doesn't feel that different from aneros. Never felt that peristaltic thing. I don't use them much but once I even had a hfwo with tempo, I think my ejaculation reflex is just too much.
D) P-waves. I don't know what that is, I don't know how to identify it. The closest thing I can get is in the best sessions I had and I feel sort of happy with some nice pleasure but nothing special really. But these are my best sessions, which are extremely rare, so maybe I felt them but instead of being the base of an aneros session I'm so behind only in extreme circunstances I can get to this "base" level.
The best sensation I've felt, even more rare (maybe something like 5 times in these 12 years) is what I call "weak dry os". I feel a pleasure, that isn't super intense, but it feels like an orgasm in some way, my dick is hard and moving when this happens, but it lasts just for 2-3 pulses (like 5 seconds or so). And it isn't as good as a proper orgasm but that pleasure has that orgasmic feeling to it.
06/30/2024 12:02 pm
I won't go too in depth on any of your points, but here's what I can tell you right now. Obligatory : "I'm not a doctor and don't know squat about anything and this is not medical advice yada yada. "
1) I'm not what you'd call a very happy person in general, I call myself a realist pessimist. And I'm pretty anxious. But Super-Os were a great help in managing this, so I'd say they could work where other solutions did not. Feeling generally down or depressed won't help with S-Os, but it's still possible to achieve them nonetheless. I've had great sessions when I was tired, sick, etc. But you have to be pretty proficient in the first place because bad feelings add yet another hurdle to what can be an already complicated process. This is a fairly large obstacle, that's why you would need to fix everything else you can so you can have a fighting chance. Leading to :
2) You may have a super tense pelvic floor and a tendency to clench to ramp up the pleasure near orgasm. This means that when you think your pelvic floor is relaxed, it might *feel* more relaxed than what you are used too, but it's still tensed. You'd need to actually push your whole pelvic floor to be closer to relaxed. Call this "active relaxation" or "straining to relax", if you still have 40% tension when you are relaxed, this won't allow for involuntary contractions. During day to day activities, make sure to consciously let your pelvic floor "go down" or drop. This will be more obvious when you are standing up. Do this often.
3) Can't really comment here, but drive for a session and drive for sex are not exactly the same. It's ok to start a session even with low arousal. Also cut porn if you watch it, its OK-ish in tiny doses but most people will have a distorted view of what small is. Like 5 minutes before a session, or catching a glimpse during a session. Audios are better here. Also, what about your protein intake ? That's something that does make a big difference for me, here they sell 2 L of milk with added protein, 18g /250 ml, and I'll have that twice daily. You could try that for a week and see what happens.
4) I'm a tiny man. When I trained a lot I went as "high" as 68kg, now I'm a bit lighter, that's at 1,65 m. So it's not really possible for me to know what happens at higher bodyweights. Something I can say is that several positions would not work for me if I was 50 pounds heavier and trying to do a bridge, for example. Some sessions are pretty athletic in nature and actually keep me in shape. It's hard to say how much abdominal fat pushing on the internal organs can affect results. It's easy to "lock" or "jam" an Aneros with just our muscles, so in theory extra strain won't help. I don't think I have the needed perspective to help you here.
That's what I can offer as a starting point. Oh, and if I was in your shoes, I would not even come within 100 m of THC products right now. I was your age when I tried cannabis for the first time and while it did seem like a genius move that would fix all my issues in the first few weeks, in the end it's almost 5 years later and I feel like I wasted at least the first 3 and they're just gone. The contrast between your current mood and boosted-Super-Os could send you into an existential crisis or worse. THC could make you feel good for a 2 hours session... then you'll feel more depressed and anxious for the next 22. This will suck horribly. Progress towards sober Super-Os could really help your mood all around if you manage to find the right path for you. Super-Os are really, really worth it and could be the motivation you need to make some changes.
I don't think do-nothing is going to... do anything. It would make more sense to me to try an active approach, hopefully this would tire your PC muscles enough so they can relax more easily and then it would make it easier for you to feel what "relaxed" is.
The fact that you had some small Super-Os in the past is really encouraging and means that you can, in fact, achieve them. My guess it that you locked the device in when they happened, which cut them short. A more flexible pelvic floor will make this easier to control.
Good luck !
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