Troubles with prostate/ANY stimulation

Hello TJH,

You may not like what I’m about to say, but I am sincere in offering you my humble advice in the hope that it may be of some help to you.

I’ve read that drugs like Cialis only help for a short while and that frequent use actually makes the problem worse in the long run. So I would definitely recommend trashing the Cialis. Besides, natural supplements such as horny goat weed work much better.

But I honestly think you hit the nail right on the head when you asked if there is psychologically something wrong. Please understand that I am not suggesting that there is anything psychologically wrong with you, but I do suggest with all due respect that your problems are simply because you are not happy in your relationship.

I know this may be a very difficult question to ask yourself, but deep down in your heart, is this really the kind of relationship you want? When a man and woman have sex, part of them will remain in each other’s heart for the rest of their lives wherever they go, whether they like it or not. Also, there is nothing that inhibits an erection more than not being completely at ease with one’s partner. I have no idea about sexual relationships between men, so please forgive me if I’m way off track here, but if the same applies, then I would think that such relationships could be emotionally devastating. The term “gay” implies happiness and joy, but my observation is that these men are anything but happy and joyful.

I’m bracing myself to be chewed out by other members of this forum, and if so then so be it. But please do be honest with yourself; that is the first step to freedom and true happiness.

God bless you TJH

GT

are you lecturing me about being gay? saying my problem is that i'm gay... with your whole... "a part of them will remain in each other's heart for the rest of their lives..." saying that i am not happy in my relationship cause deep down inside me i want to be with a woman... i can assure you this is not true

Hi tjh4904,
Welcome..!!
Masturbation, and prostate play are really two different things that a lot of folks don't understand.

If you are using the Aneros then you are trying to achieve hands free, multiple orgasms. That pleasure and the orgasms come from the prostate and surrounding tissues. Your system needs to get "Rewired" to have that type of play be successful, and enjoyed.

Masturbation on the other hand (No pun intended) is direct contact with the penis, and ejaculation.

So now... from the post I can see some issues that you need to address. you have some baggage for sure. and mentally it may be performance issues holding you back from you and your partners success. I'm no doctor, but that is my opinion.

When you say you "cannot achieve climax when your with people".... is it more than one besides your boyfriend?...

Frustration is also a problem. the more frustrated you are, the worse it gets, it compounds itself !

tjh.. look at what you have said on your post, you are driving away all success just writing about it.

Your hernias, your probably fine. Your circumcision has nothing to do with it unless you have some form of pain or actual problems. You should not have a lack of sensitivity with a circumcision at all.

Maybe a possibility of keppra doing something. but I personally don't know.

tjh, learn to relax, enjoy yourself, breath, feel any feelings you may get, do not have any expectations.

When using an Aneros for prostate play, you do NOT need to have an erection to enjoy full blown dry orgasms. Give it some time to adjust!

No Tjh, I'm not lecturing you at all. I was merely asking you to consider whether you are happy in your relationship, because if you were not then that would explain much, just the same as in a man-woman relationship. But you assure me that is not the cause of your problem. I hope you find the advice of Skeeter helpful. I am sincere in wishing you well.

tjh4904

There are men and women (heterosexual and gay) that have intimacy issues that make fulfilling sexual relationships very difficult. (Take it from me, I've known a several of them in the past). Frankly I think you'll frustrate yourself if you're looking for some purely physical source for all of this. I doubt that this is matter of technique that is lacking. For most men ejaculation is an almost automatic response. From what you've said, it's the same way for you...but not when you're with others.

In my opinion there is nothing that you have stated that would indicate that you are somehow conflicted with your sexuality. Nonetheless it would seem that if you are able to climax effortlessly on your own and have difficulty with others that there are some things that you need to examine. Sometimes these things are not readily apparent and require time and patience to resolve. There are many caring people out there that can help you with this. Devote some time to yourself and unleash the passion from within!

BF Mayfield

p.s. I looked at a fairly detailed profile on Keppra just now and there is nothing there that would suggest that it could be involved in any of this. Again, it hasn't prevented you from enjoying your solo sessions either.

my boyfriend and i were trying things out and i used two fingers, as i read, to massage his prostate on the sides of it while masturbating him, he had such an explosive orgasm that he was shaking, and hyperventilating, i had to get him to calm down he explained to me that "you know when you hear of people who cry when they orgasm, i just had this huge rush to my head and emotions were spilling all over and i almost cried" his orgasm was so amazing he felt like he could do it again and wanted to.

However, when we did the same thing for me.... for some reason i didn't get as he explained to me this immense amount of pressure like i "HAVE TO CUM" as he explained, he kept telling me "omg this feels good i feel like im going to cum and not have an orgasm". when he used his fingers on me, i felt a pressure, a lot of pressure in my penis and all around, but i didn't feel like i was going to explode in ejaculation or anything like he did. I want to be able to have these amazing orgasms i am able to give him... but i dont know if this has to do with any of my other issues.

and to update people... i have gotten off 5 times with him since my last time posting on here... thats over half the times total from people ive dated. i am becoming increasingly comfortable and trusting with him and i love him with all my heart, so it's no longer a trust issue.

i am now just wondering if maybe he was just doing something wrong? or do people's prostates react differently to stimulation? are these kinds of orgasms like he had (ESPECIALLY LIKE HE HAD) not able to be achieved by some people? can some men just not have those kinds of orgasms and stimulation? i am starting to think that maybe my body just cant do it ... someone said something about being "re-wired" so does this mean i just need to have my prostate massaged a lot more to get used to the feeling.... (also can someone explain and describe the feeling ... is it just a lot of pressure, feeling like you need to pee (a little) ) what am i supposed to feel to know it's going correctly..... HELP me more! 🙂 thank you!!! (also my email is my username @gmail.com i cant always get to this forum )

just another side note, the boyfriend hasn't had any prostate stimulation (he's been the top) in all his past relationships. so it just blows my mind that he just got such amazing results from me right away, when i've had a lot (in the past) of experience bottoming for other guys i've dated. and i have never had "AMAZING stimulation" .... am i just not built to even be "wired" correctly, or could it just not be possible?

Hi tjh,

As many of us here know, the prostate sometimes needs to be awakened to the stimulation and can take some time. Sounds as if your BF is one of the lucky few. Good for him! For you (and me) however, it will take some time and effort. It is well worth the trip.

There is some great information for you here. Good luck.

tjh,

I'm glad to hear that things are turning around for you with respect opening yourself up in this way.

With regard to differing responses to prostate stimulation, it is certainly something to consider. Frankly, this issue underlies much of what has been written about here in the forum for many years now. The way that I see it, there are two factors that can be involved.

The first is as Buster mentioned, that the prostate must be "awakened". For some men it just does not feel or respond like any kind of erogenous zone that they are familiar with. For such individuals it takes time for pleasurable sensations to emerge from this area...even with the proper type of stimulation. This bring me to the second factor which is the form of stimulation itself. Some guys respond to more vigorous palpation while others prefer a subtler touch. (I'm defintely in the latter category). It's important to mention that many people relate to prostate stimulation on the same terms as penile stimulation....more, faster, harder. From all evidence that I've seen, it does not work that way when it comes to the prostate. By contrast to ones penis, a prostate is very easily over-stimulated. (I've written about this in the past as being akin to a negative feedback loop) To "turn on" a dormant prostate generally requires the softer touch. Finding that technique, whether it's a feather-light stroking from side to side (wagging) or a light thrusting or a circular sweeping motion is the key to ones success in flicking on the switch that lights the tree.

For a long time I've used the analogy of making a piece of crystal glassware resonate by running your finger along the rim. Press hard and there is silence. Use a particular light touch and a wonderful beautiful vibrant tone can be heard. I believe that one should approach prostate stimulation in a similar fashion. What I'm saying is....don't give up. Encourage your partner to mix it up a bit. Try a more a minimalist approach....(less is more) give it some time and see where it takes you!

BF Mayfield

p.s. If you do find yourself responding to the softer touch, keep in mind that the onset of sudden higher intensity stimulation may still have the potential of extinguishing pleasurable sensations. So if your partner is providing penile stimulation he may need to be mindful of using a harder stroke for your penis while maintaining a gentler one for your prostate.

So let me get this straight, in the past when i have bottomed for other guys (my ex-boyfriends) my prostate was probably generally over stimulated and thus the pleasure is overwhelming and turns to pain almost.... thus my body never got wired or used to the pleasure and was never "awakened" to prostate stimulation.

So in turn, my now boyfriend should use my subtle stimulation to awaken me to this experience? Generally speaking about penile stimulation for myself, it has been an issue of comfort... the more i mess around with him the more easily he is able to get me to climax, however it is becoming very monotonous in what we do, it is difficult for me to get off kneeling, standing, or most other positions so i usually lay in my back and he works his magic, i've only gotten off to oral twice years ago, and never can i get enough motion and movement and speed to get off while penetrating him (he gets tooooo much sensation and has to stop cause he can super O that easily .... bitch... so jealous) .... is there anything i can do for him to be able to last longer?

are there any other techniques i can use to be able to climax myself in addition to being able to "awaken" my prostate easier? i want to be able to experience sex like many men do, with overwhelming pleasure, but mine has been a firecracker, big burst... over in a flash, unlike my boyfriends which is like a nuclear explosion... MASSIVE will knock you off yoru feet, make you pass out, and lasts a LONG time... i would love to be able to get my body to that point.

im not always able to check this so if anyone would be willing to help me.... my email is [email protected]

in addition to my boyfriend massaging the prostate should i still use my MGX...? i've had it for 3 weeks and still no involuntary contractions have ever begun, it doesn't make me harder when masturbating, and doesn't make it easier for me to get off... is this cause i am not "awakened or rewired" yet? will the boyfriend help with this? help me!!! ( i want to have a normal sex life! ... by my standards normal... meaning able to ejaculate in addition to being able to enjoy it with my partner and not just solo all the time )