the superpower of hindsight

Great piece. 

Don’t chase…probably the hardest part of it all for most. Everyone wants the big one 🙂

The second tip to me feels like the paradigm shift in thinking that must occur. Rewiring the focus away from finishing and just going,and going,and going, possibly never reaching the finish line,if said line even exists.

Third tip is when you start believing.

Something else that goes hand in hand with hindsight is reflection. Too often,reflection is based off the negativity of frustration that no orgasm peak was reached. I had a little of that sometimes,but not excessively. Many sessions that ended without o still produced the most pleasure I’d felt so far. This buoyed me and pushed me forward with positivity that progress was being made. Being happy with an o-less session is also very important whilst on the quest.

@NorthernLight, I think it is somewhat ironical that all successful 'Super-O'ers get granted the superpower of hindsight when it would have been so much easier had we been blessed with the superpower of 'foresight'. Unfortunately, very few of us have that blessing and we had to learn all these ideas, concepts and techniques on our own as individuals. Even having the guidance of wonderful mentors on this forum who have often eloquently written of the process it still remains a solitary, unique learning journey for each of us. I am glad that you have made the necessary paradigm thought shifts to make your journey enjoyable.

Good Vibes to You!

@NorthernLight your experience very closely mirrors mine! I had a Super-O the very first time I tried my original MXG well over a decade ago and then nothing.......for a very very long time. Turns out I had been chasing, tensing as if pushing towards a traditional O, attempting to force a recreation of that magical first experience. I have finally gotten to the point where I can just let the pleasure build. It's been a very long process but well worth the wait. 

congrats dude! Ya did it.

@gnawdol I totally agree with you on this. Women are my number one reference for how to orgasm, and also how to feel and show emotions in general (because aren’t these orgasms just our special way of having erotic fee-fees?).

A whopping build up and orgasmic response may include any of the following:

eyes rolling, moaning, chest heaving from heavy breathing, touching one’s body all over, curling and distending limbs, stopping one’s breath from focusing on pleasure, talking dirty or sweet, tugging nips, spreading legs or tightening them together, crying, and so on, and so forth, and so on, and so forth. . .

I say fake it till you make it. 

Thanks Northernlight, I needed to hear that.  I'm about 10 months in and doing well. I know better but just keep on chasing.  After reading your well written post I now realize I need to throttle back AGAIN.  I get it now.

Great post!  Thanks for posting your easy to understand and exciting experiences.

My sessions have been ramping up lately, and your descriptions really resonated and helped me.

I am really happy that my story resonates with so many of you.

Many of you Guys that replied actually helped me lot to get through the dry-spell time without giving up. And you cannot imagine the thankfulness that crashed over me the second I got a clear head after some orgasm waves rolled over me and suddenly everything made sense. All the advice that I tried to stick to suddenly was clear. And I understood.
Thanks again for this! You Guys rock! 

So last night I crossed the bridge to the other side.  Latching on to a small bit of a pleasurable feeling and going with it letting the pleasure grow and while it was happening I knew that that this was the new beginning of first chapter of rewiring.  It was like after reading this thread on hindsight I already new it was going to happen.  I even wrote it the end of my previous post"I get it"   thank you,thank you,thank you.

This is another of those topics that helps me remember to stay on the path & not despair for what I interpret as a lack of progress.  So grateful for this site & group.

Expectations are a big one.  What trips up a lot of new users is actually reading the forum.  Having a thread stickied up top about people performing Super Os I think distracts new users and makes them think they can just pop the thing in and get massive success.  The truth is..  What is going on here is nothing more than neuroplasticity but using it in a sexual way.  This aspect of how our brain works does not change overnight.  When we create the expectation of a Super O, we become so focused on the event, we no longer have the ability to actually arrive at the destination.  It is kinda like wanting to take a trip to a tropical island but never getting on the plain.  You have to buy the ticket and take the flight to get there.  With Aneros you have to use the device and find what feels right to get the O.

I think this was a big part of my problem.  Years of feeling nothing.  I was trained to think I should be having mind blowing orgasms.  I didn't realize I had to experience a Mini O of sorts before I can have a Super O.  Now I take in it all.  I think my problem now has more to do with patience within sessions and finding a way to distract myself. 

I do wonder how different my journey would have been if I discovered the product before discovering the community.

The other side of the coin sounds interesting.  I wonder what that must feel like - to use Aneros for the first time and get the Super O.  I'm sure that creates a lot of ego.  You now believe you have the super power to be able to snap your finger and orgasm.  So, when you finally put it in and get nothing, it almost feels like they took away your power.  You now have nothing.  That in itself might set you back further than the new user expecting a Super O from forum posts, no?

Posted by: @nat

You now believe you have the super power to be able to snap your finger and orgasm.  So, when you finally put it in and get nothing, it almost feels like they took away your power.  You now have nothing.  That in itself might set you back further than the new user expecting a Super O from forum posts, no?....

I don't know; it seems that the harder we work to get something, the more it's appreciated.  To me, the same goes for prostate play.  As much as we all want to experience the 'Big Event', there's something to be said about enjoying the journey to destination.

Posted by: @northernlight

I remember how it built, I remember how it moved up from my groin to my chest, I remember the shock how this was possible, I remember how I started crying because it was so overwhelming good and wholesome.

(…)

It felt like a dam broke.

Thanks for the resonant memories finding their way to lump in my throat.  If the dam metaphor is innate slumbering, stuck energy and a breakthrough issuing pleasure waves and echoes immediately and downstream in our lives to never be the same, I agree.  Congrats!  I think also you will be glad that you had recollected and recordeded your experience, here.  You may like to revisit it, see where you’ve been.

Enjoying it without wanting to build them or to try to intensify them.

I don’t want to negate universal advice which has helped me for most of my journey.  Recently it seems like a observing and honoring a bodily want for this- note distinguishing between an impatient mental want- has done something good for me-

Conjure, catch, ride a widening gyre in-to-out of want-feel, want-feel, WANT-FEEL until it chain-reacts, chain lightening, cloudbursts.

Posted by: @nat

What trips up a lot of new users is actually reading the forum.

Not to be contradictory, only speaking from my own experience.  Were it not for the forum to support troubleshooting my initial lament “mah butt ‘hurts’ “ and convincing me it is all worth it 1 year ago my Aneros could’ve gone in the trash as a folly I’d not want to bother with again.  Initially I tried to read with a sense of detachment “that’s nice, good for him” what seemed like hyperbole sometimes, to avoid entraining my ego in it: (it is written, so it must come to be my story too.)