That's it i have had enough aneros is going for now

Hello all as you know i have had a rather unfortunate problem but now i have reached
the point where i am sick of relapsing and i got aneros prostate massagers back from
a friend who has been holding them for quiet some months to prevent me from using
them, and he finally gave them back to me and what did i do i could resist anymore
and have done it for the final last time thats right i couldnt help myself and in they
went now the muscles to the side left and right must be torn i can feel them stretching
and they do hurt a little, but i am afraid this time the only way to recover is to get rid of
them all i cannot trust myself with them around they are too close so they have to go
and i am sick and tired of this problem sick and tired of starting again now i seriuosly
doubt the future of any aneros usage to me, i will have to wait and see until the problem
is gone completely and i have seen the doctor.

I still have to wait four months for my appointment until i get just a consultation with the
colorectal surgeon if i had seen them earlier things would not be soo bad it makes things
worse having to wait not knowing what is wrong, i have tried going to a different GP close
to my original one twice to ask for an earlier appointment and the lady i saw there said i
would have to wait and that there was no shortcuts, as i understand they have a lot of
people and are very busy, but i dont really care i dont care what their excuse is they are
always underfunded being a free public health care system the doctors simply dont listen
dont understand the importnace urgency of my situation that needs to be looked at, and
i guess on the other hand there are people that i waiting for their turn to and that i can
understand and kind of feel sorry for them too but seven months is just ridiculous had
i seen them sooner i probably would be sitting here wondering what the problem is and
had i have seen i would probably know what the problem is what i have to do good or bad
implications but now it is very bad and i have had enough of this the msucles will never be
as strong as they used to be and i dont know where this puts me so where does it put me
does anyone know?

I have caused myself soo much pain it is not funny i am in too much right now i am of course
very depressed and in a lot of pain silly me and know i feel very empty sad depressed inside
like there is a huge hole in my soul like i have nothing left anymore no aneros no woman
only god knows what the future holds for me anything but this crap hole, i cannot tust myself
with aneros around me it would be a load of my mind but at the same time it makes me sad
to get rid of them, i feel sorry for the many models i own, but this is the only way out.

I was thinking i could maybe give them to some members if anyone wants them or i could just
throw them in the bin, i am sorry for all the trouble i have caused anyone i have upset i dont really intend
to hurt people but sometimes not very often occasionally i can do this, i will probably give it another
crack when my problem is finally fully healed recovered i simply still cannot get myself too simply just
give up the aneros dream maybe i should idk, but my addcitive nature has got the better of me and
nothing can ever replace aneros it's like something you cannot replace with something else, and even
before i used them i knew it wasnt really going to work and tried to convince myself not to do it
and just to wait, but the desire was too strong and i gave in shame on me, if only i was a normal
person not sick and suffering all the time, i have dream that will probably never be relaised and that
is that oneday soon they will find a cure for alcoholism and hopefully drug addiction and substance
addiction and hopefully all addictions so every single still suffer practicing alcoholic can have a cure
if they so desire a doorway to freedom, everything i want a doorway to a new beggining without
many problems a new day a new freedom and happiness at long last but i know this will probably
never happen this way anyway.

And for now i will try to continue doing the A.A program as this seems the only way there, and i will
still be around here no matter what even if it is just to chat about whatever or i can simply make the
hard choice and never come back which i dount i can do.

So take care all for now and many thanks for your help love care and support i will love you guys always

Cheers thecritta