Technical Question

Yeeeeeaaah, technical! Ok let's be serious and keep a straight face. Ah-hem.

As the Honorary Chairman of the Council of Sexual Acts Definition, I propose that moral honesty dictates that Fapping must be defined as: "Any act performed by an individual on himself while this individual is conscient that there is a possibility of said act causing an ejaculation at some point."

If you did it by accident and went: "oh by golly, what hapened, I'm so confused, I had no idea this could happen..." you'd be in the clear, but I see that your toughts are tainted by the urging need to know if you can come just from your nipples, so this is clearly a case of fapping intentions. Facts. 

Good luck my friend, you can't hold it forever.

Hehe just joking but really, if you're doing something that might make you ejaculate, even if you intend to stop before coming, I would call it masturbation. Fap on ! 

If by nofap your referring to that counter set up to combat porn addiction,I would say no,i think no fap is totally set up for failure,masturbation isn’t unnatural,neither is having an orgasm. Of course porn is the unnatural part. So if you see a picture,masturbate,cum or have sex which is natural for months you have to reset back to zero? Ridiculous imo.. single women masturbate frequently and use vibes etc and they aren’t messed up. If porn has caused a problem,my advice is not watching porn to fix it. 
This is what I mean,you think touching your own nipple makes you a failure,that’s as silly as thinking prostate massage is gay. What has touching/massaging you own body/gland got to do with watching porn on the internet. If you stay off watching porn,but continue to learn arousal and pleasure through your journey,I don’t see why that’s a problem. In fact it’ll likely help. I don’t see how your nipples and nofap are connected. Go for it I say.

All good points.

A bit of backstory: Due to complicated circumstances, I’ve had no had sex for ten years, and had to be creative. 

So things changed, and it’s on again, but I failed when it got down to business.  

So I put myself on nofap to try to get my mojo working, but I’ve been having hella fun with my nipples lately and will miss that a lot. 

@roland-htg I tought your question was a little more light-hearted, that's why I answered that way, but I see it's more serious stuff. I still stand by my definition, but on the other hand, if you're close to busting while playing with your nipples, you must have some mojo left ? Hope all goes well for you and that things fall into place.

@zentai

Oh hell, it was totally tongue-in-cheek. 

My MO has always been to wise ass everything. But yeah, I really want this to work. 

Thanks for the well wishes. 

Viagra or Calais are readily available if your having erection problems,they would get you started. You can turn it around. 

@helghast

That’s the hell of it, I have both. 

I got some and did a ‘test drive’. Felt like the hulk. 

Two nights later and I never got to 100%. We had a good time for sure, but didn’t get to the fireworks part. It was still a big win overall, but but but. 

It was probably a combination of things. I think I had anxiety and whiskey dick. I’m usually sleeping nekkid and end up rubbing my nighttime buddy two or three times a night, and have been after my nips every chance I get. 

So I’m sleeping in briefs and no touching, no nipples this week. Need to get my mind right.

This ain’t Oprah, but thanks for the input. 

Posted by: @roland-htg

All good points.

A bit of backstory: Due to complicated circumstances, I’ve had no had sex for ten years, and had to be creative. 

So things changed, and it’s on again, but I failed when it got down to business.  

So I put myself on nofap to try to get my mojo working, but I’ve been having hella fun with my nipples lately and will miss that a lot. 

 

It's hard to get a complete picture from your inferences, but I'm guessing you have been relying on porn for a while and now blame it for your failing erections?  I checked out nofap.com and think I agree with a lot of the sentiment there.  There are learned patterns and responses that can be hard to overcome, especially with something that is so powerfully addictive. If you've never read the novel Crash by J.G. Ballard then I would highly recommend it as a great exploration into the depths of a sexual addiction and how such downward spirals can ruin your life. 

If you think "rebooting" (in the definition of the website) will work for you then go for it, but it looks like the average time they suggest is 3 months which sounds like a long time to refrain from all sexual activity, especially considering you're dropping it cold turkey! A sympathetic viewpoint but alternate practice that I've been working at myself can be found in the book Love Satisfies by Keepitup Johnson.  I really responded well to the positivity, encouragement, and loving empathy on display in this book, and Mr. Johnson's ethos would seem to be much more in line with that of the Aneros forum. 

Either way, don't expect to have all your problems fixed overnight, this is something that takes time and effort but is ultimately worthwhile! 

Thank you for the links. I will peruse them.

It’s not porn so much as being in the habit of taking care of myself.

Obviously, sharing the sexual experience with another, and being attentive to her energy, takes a totally different mindset from that which drives one’s own pleasure. That has been my focus for too long  

This is the time where I have to step out of my bubble and it needs to start somewhere. 

@roland-htg

I agree with @faith-manages in that it isn’t 100 percent clear what you are getting at, but I think he interpreted clearly. I can’t give advice because we are all different, and these things are complex. But I can give my story.

I have had lots of sex with lots of people, both with long term partners and with shorter flings.  I am 34, and until 4 years ago, I almost never had erectile problems except for one week in 2010 and the odd moments where I couldn’t get completely hard for a couple days. Then 4 years ago I stopped being able get get consistently hard with most partners. First it would happen after a few times having sex. Then it happened all the time, even the first time in bed with someone. The only people i don’t have erectile problems with are partners I love, or am falling in love with. There have been a couple recent exceptions, people who I didn’t have any serious feelings for but where I still got an erection every time.

So I don’t even think it is an erectile problem I have, I just only get hard for love AND for the occasional person with whom there is chemistry but no love (But the latter is rare). In the last 3 years I have gotten in bed with maybe 20 people and at the end I was never able to get even the slightest bit hard with all except those whom I loved. Even with partners it worked with, when the love faded, so did my erections. It was still very pleasurable (especially since I started being able to have other orgasms), and I gave pleasure in other ways. But after a while I just got bored of these anticlimactic evenings, and with most partners things naturally stopped (I imagine because some people take it personally, which is fine, because obviously there wasn’t enough attraction).

So I have changed psychologically since my fuck-anyone-and-talk-later teens and twenties. Now I describe myself as Demi-sexual. With the right partner I am more erect than I have ever been. Arousal is what I need to be hard, and for me arousal now passes mainly through mental attraction, and no longer through physical attraction.

So maybe your problem was just for lack of the right person. You only tried once, if I understood correctly?  Maybe you need the right partner?

A side note, i have heard two recent stories  of acquaintances being with sex workers and not being able to get it up... from what I’ve read that is common. I have never been so I can’t say my experience.