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04/12/2015 9:40 pm
There has been a lot of great discussion about relaxation on the forum lately. It's essential to letting your arousal grow, and for feeling real pleasure.
Much of it has to do with getting in the mood. It is not just relaxation we seek, it is sexual relaxation. This is more than letting go of all bodily tension. To me, it means the kind of relaxation you feel when you know you're about to be the recipient of very fulfilling sexual attention. There is a kind of total presence and knowingness that comes with that. It is also a lot about the surrender that @crimsonwolf mentioned.
Here are some mental images I sometimes use to get into a state of sexual relaxation. Normally I do them when lying on my belly, either with or without a tool in my bum.
- Hot for me partner: I imagine I am being attended to by a partner who is really hot to get me to relax completely, so I can receive anal attention. This person knows exactly how important it is to get me relaxed if s/he is going to seduce my ass. S/he might gently run fingers up my calves, or where my belly meets the bed; might massage my feet or my shoulders. S/he knows just how to get me to release tension. Of course s/he will brush my ass, or blow on it, or rub it, anything to get it to open and be ready. By the time s/he is done, my ass will be pulsing with excitement, yet s/he'll continue to remind me to relax my whole body and let go.
- Medical: (this works well with the peridise). I imagine I am in a doctor's office and have agreed to use the peridise for medical reasons. The staff knows something I don't, that the peridise, to work its best, needs to get me very aroused and even orgasming. I am totally naive to this. The nurses work hard to get me warm and comfortable on the padded table. Then they coach me on relaxing every part of my body. Unbeknownst to me, they have monitors that tell them my internal state, so they can tell me "Mr. Rewels, please relax more." And, "it is ok, the feelings you are having are normal," etc, even as i start getting aroused. If I start to tense they tell me to relax "down there," etc. Secretly they are waiting for my arousal to start climbing, and they know the more relaxed they can get me the better that will be.
- Female: some women have a condition called vaginismus, which makes it hard for them to have sex, because their vaginal muscles don't relax. This is a twist on the medical one. Here I am a woman and either a nurse or my dude is coaching me to relax, to get me to open wide to the pleasure. I discover that if I really let myself go, and really let myself open up, and stay open and relaxed, my vagina starts getting wet and eager, welcomes the guy's cock, and I start to feel the incredible beauty of him inside me.
- Big and wide: this is similar to the above (but usually I am on my back with knees bent up), but my partner is really hot to get my hole open wide. S/he wants to put in one, then two, then three, then four fingers. S/he is really turned on by my hole opening all the way to let the pleasure in. There is an incredible sense of surrender and eroticism if somebody explores this with your ass. Maybe s/he wants to go even wider and put a fat dildo into you. If you relax enough this will feel overwhelmingly good. You have to trust and relax.
Darwin
04/13/2015 8:29 am
Yes, yes and yes.
Four years ago I was desperate to ejaculate. My normal response was to tighten up or contract more and more as I had less and less success. It got to the point that my heart was getting super stresses. Three years ago I came across an SGX. With its help (and now a whole collection) I have begun a long, frustrating and slow process of over coming what I call prostrate stress.
In all respects the more I relax and get out of the way the better my body responds. This applies to trad sex or Aneros. The more I relax, the closer I get to Ej the more the vibes of energy tingle up my back and over my head. I wish it had learned to relax more when I was in my prime, what an experience that would have been to focus on the energetic energy flow rather than the EJ. Now it's quite hard word undoing the conditioning as at my age the arousal energy is somewhat diminished.
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04/13/2015 3:42 pm
@darwin, this is great stuff, great discussion and mental images for creating some really hot fantasies. I have spent a little A-less time here today exploring some of this and tailoring it to my own favorite fantasies and I was quickly to the point of babbling incoherently. Hot stuff!
I incorporated a bit of the "naughty nurse" stuff into it as well. I also like switching back and forth from being male to being female, being the receiver, being the giver. For me, like many others from what I read here in the forum, "surrendering and being taken" is what really puts me over the top. Fantasize, relax, submit, surrender?
I'm glad to see this reminder to combine sexual arousal into the relaxation as well. I do think a lot of guys who are struggling focus too much on the methodology, and overlook that it's all about enjoying your sexuality, regardless of the outcum.
04/14/2015 8:56 am
I tend to have a hard time balancing my thoughts and mind and trying to include the sexual thoughts with trying to pay attention to what my body is feeling. Most of the time I find myself going back and forth on sexual thoughts and what my body is feeling. Relaxing is hard for me but I'm getting better. Last night I may have actually felt very small pulsating waves and warmth through my whole body but I was in and out of drifting off to sleep so I am not sure if it was that or actually something good but it was different from anything I have felt before so I am excited to get back to it (hopefully tonight) and find out. Thanks for your ideas @darwin I need to continue to change it up somehow so my journey can continue and grow.
04/17/2015 11:10 pm
I imagine I am in a doctor's office and have agreed to use the peridise for medical reasons.This one is making me laugh, it's such a true masturbation fantasy premise "The doctor needs to measure how many times I can ejaculate". 😀 Or maybe my fantasies are weird and I've just outed myself as having some kind of medical fetish. :-/
Eh anyway, I've done something similar before where I've fantasised about being on the receiving end of a dominatrix. Where the "cruel" conditions in the fantasy mirrored that of the aneros in reality. If I could relax in spite of not wanting to, I would be rewarded with pleasure. If I couldn't relax through the pleasure, the pleasure would be taken away as punishment. It was cool because the fantasy conditions held true in reality. Relaxing really would yield higher pleasure. And any downtime or frustration could be eroticised too, as some kind of kinky denial. I'm not really into BDSM, so it wouldn't be a go-to fantasy for me, but it really fits an aneros session.
04/18/2015 12:00 pm
@Darwin, your first guided sexual relaxation fantasy really got me going. Superb!
The medical ones did nothing for me however. I've worked in hospitals most of my life and seen enough to ruin any arousal LOL.
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