Sessions without porn or erotic materials

Oh my, can I write a book on this topic? Don't find a book, let me go here for a minute!

So my journey with Aneros and prostate stimulation started, of course, with porn. I didn't use porn much, not even daily, as I had sex with my wife daily. I just used porn on the days she was on her period, and seldom, I'd only cum alone a few times a month really; most nights she got me off without her pussy. In 2004 after 5 great years of sex with her, I found Aneros. Never heard of such. Expanded orgasms? Hands-free orgasms?!! I had to try! Naturally, I treated Aneros/prostate play as masturbation. No different in my mind.

I should not have done this. What I was chasing was akin to a natural, normal orgasmic ejaculation. A "hands-free orgasm" was the same as what I was doing using my hands, just without hands. Driven, instead, by a toy in my ass. I never had prostate orgasms because, a) I wasn't cumming hands-free (i.e., ejaculation and full on orgasm that comes with it), b) I wasn't getting hard without touching myself, which, when hard, leads to orgasmic ejaculation, and c) I couldn't reach that crescendo of stimulation that I believed my ass would supplement in place of my cock. I started riding dildos, fucking my ass as hard as possible with whatever toy I could fit in me, Aneros in me for sometimes 2 straight hours, all to no avail.

All the while I tried these methods, for years and years mind you upwards to almost 10 years, I had the porn on. I'd set up playlists, I'd watch the exact same movies and content that I used when I was stroking myself for almost an hour edging until I couldn't take it anymore and I had to burst. I was trying to "cum" from anal stimulation by using the same stimuli I used to "cum" from penis stimulation. I found this to be a trap, and think it is the main trap, for men who can't have or can't realize/actualize prostate orgasms. 

I was in the middle of a 15 day break from cumming, to celebrate the 15 years my wife and I were together as a couple, in 2014. On day 8 I wanted to do some prostate massage to release some pressure and maybe get some relief from not cumming for so long. (It was unheard of for me to wait this long, I came at least once a day and maybe 3 days was the longest I went back then.) On bed in our bedroom, soft sexy lighting, us both naked, my wife at my side, Aneros in me, she touched my body softly, it was sensual, and then the toy started moving in ways I had never felt before. True autofucking. I had felt it before, but this was like violent contractions against my will. She never touched my cock. After maybe 10 or so minutes of insane pleasure and build up I wanted her to use the best g-spot glass wand of all time (to me!) on me. Warmed it up and slipped it in. Now I knew how to use this thing, it was what I fucked my ass relentlessly with in efforts to force out a hands-free wet orgasm for like 7 years at this point. My wife was gentle with it, pushing it in only so far, making sure the g-spot tip was straight up for prostate contact. After a couple minutes of her dancing around in me, I said I needed to do it, I was like mesmerized, I was moving and thinking against my will, and I grabbed the toy, "knowing" exactly what I needed to do, and I pushed the head across over and past my prostate and almost instantly the world erupted into a "dance rave" of movement, lights, excitement, pulsation, what have you, and my wife looked like she was on the dance floor of a rave, hair flying all over dancing, and I was convulsing violently on the bed. I realized instantly when the 30 or so seconds passed that I had just had my first noticeable, actual, prostate hands-free orgasm. 

After we culminated on day 15 with a massive fuck session, a day or two after that I was ready to try a solo session. What was different this time was that I knew porn wasn't on in the bedroom, and I wanted to just lay on the floor like normal in the room where i normally jerked off in (my office and our bonus room) and have no porn on. I put the MGX in, my first Aneros toy, and within maybe 2 minutes I had another prostate orgasm. This one was legit because it was self-propelling, and I felt for the first time exactly what the Aneros was made to do, and what a prostate O driven by this toy was to feel like. From that day forward I never, ever, not once again used porn for any prostate play. I continued to use it for penis play, don't get me wrong. But for prostate/anal/ass play, nothing was on.

A few things were note worthy. One, porn is highly distracting. We men use it to distract us from our own bodies and sexual response. It dulls our senses. It destroys our dopamine system. It makes us feel dirty and bad. It is a crutch used to supply erections. It is predatory. It involves sex trafficking and modern slavery. Sorry, I hate it. I quit it almost 4 years ago and I'm so better for it. My strength in quitting porn came from prostate play. 

Two, porn is connected to penis pleasure. Prostate pleasure is not connected to penis pleasure. It can be, and for me when I end sessions with a Super T, you bet your ass it is! Or when I'm being stimulated by my wife while using a toy, she's on my cock for sure off and on. But I'm already rewired and can handle penis stimulation from time to time. So when you watch porn to do your penis, your brain is wired that way. When you watch porn to play with your prostate, are you wired that way? Maybe if you never used your penis for pleasure and happened to begin your solo sex journey with prostate play instead, and used porn from the start, ok. But that didn't happen for you I guarantee it. So, porn=penis, not prostate.

Three, porn can trigger sexual response inside your brain and body. But the kind of connection between your anus, rectum, and prostate is a different set of nerves and interacts with your brain in highly different ways. For instance, you can't see your prostate, but you can see your penis. You know when things are working because your dick gets hard. You can see when you touch it and then how it feels. You know if you blew a big load or not because you can see the cum. I always ask my wife if I came a lot, and shot hard, when she makes me cum in her mouth because I can't see it. I came hard, yes, but HOW hard? I couldn't see, I have no visual evidence. To quote Tony Montana, "The eyes, chico, they never lie." lolololol So you watch porn, yet are stimulating something you can't see. Think about that.

As you said OP, porn distracts you from yourself and connecting with yourself in ways you can't quite understand. Maybe you are hiding your true emotions from yourself. Maybe you need to let things out and orgasm is the only way to expressively get "it" out of you. I find this to be true. So true. It is a release of a kind that voice cannot take the place of. Porn is addictive. Porn makes self pleasuring feel bad. The word "masturbation" means "self polluting". For real, look it up. I use "self pleasuring" instead of masturbation because it is wonderful and healthy. Marijuana is the racist term used by the government for cannabis--the latin name for the plant--because when America made cannabis illegal, they were in fact fighting a racist battle against Mexicans, where "marijuana" is the Spanish street name for the plant, and Mexico was the biggest supplier of the drug at the time. So when we say "marijuana" we are actually continuing the American white racist battle against Mexicans. Look it up, this is actually how it happened. There's a LOT in a word.

It will be hard OP, but start using Aneros without porn. I think the joy of prostate play is that we don't have to have an erection at all to have these kinds of orgasms. I find a lot of solace and comfort in that fact. In fact, I usually don't have orgasms if I'm hard. Once my erection subsides to a certain level of fullness/hardness, then I have that O. So take comfort in that fact. 

Embrace yourself. Touch yourself all over. Really love the feel of your hands on your arms, your torso, your legs, your ass, your nipples, everything. Love your body, whatever it is shape form whatever. Say out loud to yourself that you are happy with you, that you love yourself unconditionally. That you have amazing powers inside of you as a male of our human race and you can give in to your untapped, latent sexual energy and let it flow through you freely. When you use Aneros, breath and just feel it inside of you. Really focus on the shape of it in you, can you feel the head of the toy's body distinctly? Make yourself feel it. Try. Pull it out and reinsert and try to feel it. With porn on you are distracted from FEELING. Get into the sensations deeply.

There's the whole "breathing" thing that I find annoying with Aneros-talk. One day at a meditation seminar I attended, on using yoga breathing for health benefits and enhancing saliva production to enrich its protein content so it fights cancer, a woman in the room told the teacher that she sometimes gets so into the breathing, like its the only thing that is important in the moment, that she starts to hyperventilate and has passed out. During meditation. WHAT?!?! I heard that and said to myself "you're trying too hard; its meditation; you should just learn to BE and not ACT so intensely." The yogi chuckled a little and said "see, you are breathing too hard, your attention is focused on breathing, when it should be focused on nothing." 

I took that lesson home with me when I did prostate play. I just like to imagine I'm lying there alone. That's all I need. When my mind wanders, I go back to the toy in me. I feel it in me, and then it moves. And I follow that movement and stay on that. I'm not moving it, it is moving it. Breathing is just a way to empty the mind. Just don't get too lost in breathing, then nothing exists except your lungs and windpipe. YOU have to exist for orgasm to happen!!

You win in the end. If you needed a boner to cum, you might need porn. You don't need your penis to have prostate orgasms, so you don't need porn. What is the porn doing to your body that you can recognize or notice? Is it making  your penis hard? Does it make your anus pucker so it propels the toy into your body? Write it out here. Take the time to describe the physical sensations and actions taking place in your session. It helps to verbalize and write down what is happening; it is a way to actualize our lives and reflect on what we're really doing.

I hope you find inspiration in all of this! Like I said, if you need a book, ask, I'll give you one lol 😉