Hey all,
I love this forum and have really gotten a tremendous amount of support from people's threads, so I wanted to give back as well. I've been on the journey for about 10 months and progress has been halting at times but I realized that I was making a few mistakes the whole time in how I was doing it. But once I fixed these issues, I made up for lost time pretty quickly. In fact, last night I had a series of prostate orgasms that I'm still buzzing about.
So here goes:
1) Not Enough Padding -- I position myself on my back with I use my Aneros models, and I realized that I did not have enough padding/pillows/etc under my back. So it was obviously catching against the ground under me and not fully able to move in and out of my ass on its own. I added additional padding under me recently and that has helped a lot. So however much padding you may have, add more until you feel like you're floating.
2) Being Too Passive -- I know this is a long running discussion that has partisans on both sides, but I think newbies (like me) have to be more active and should not exclusively use the "do nothing" approach until their muscles get stronger. I have tried the "do nothing" approach for months at a time and I think it really stalled me by not toning my PC muscles and I'm just not advanced enough to get the "involuntaries" without triggering them by doing the Tug-of-War method. I have totally felt amazing while doing nothing, so I definitely see the potential but I think it's a more advanced technique that won't really do much to help a newbie progress. Or at least not progress as rapidly as being more active, initially.
3) Indica -- I've experimented with marijuana, it's legal where I am, and I have definitely found that I have the best experiences when I do Indica. As opposed to Sativa or hybrid. Indica is much more of a muscle relaxant and goes a long way to getting me to where I need to be. Last night was definitely proof of that.
4) Coating -- the Aneros needs a good coating of something that will both resist water and remove friction. I have tried both Vaseline and Shea Butter to coat the models, but Vaseline seemed to work best for me. I know it's possible to spread bacteria with Vaseline, so I clean it out pretty well with soap after I use it. And Shea Butter works too, just not as well, imho. But regardless, I think it helps to have something besides lube to reduce friction. And I also use Boy Butter with the coating, FYI.
These are the main ones I have found helped me. I hope this helps someone else in my position. And, like everyone says, walking into a session with no expectations but enjoying the ride - regardless of where it's gonna take me - is very key. But that's something you have to discover for yourself.
These are my rookie mistakes, I'd love to hear yours as well. I still have a ways to go!
Welcome, my friend! It's great to see new people participating here, and you make very good points.
2) is something that I really agree with, as I lost some time Doing Nothing when I first started. First I Did Nothing, but it did not work, then I tried Doing Something, and it started working, then later on I discovered that Doing Nothing was the real key. What ? So both are true ? I think so ! But not at the very beginning, or maybe not for everyone.
4) finding the right lube combo is a journey in itself. If you like Vaseline, try mixing beeswax and coconut oil, you can get the same viscosity as Vaseline, it smells great and works great ! But it stains...
Here's 3 other rookie mistakes, in my opinion :
Concentrating too much on relaxatation and not enough on arousal, or the reverse. A balance of both is necessary.
Thinking that you don't need the deep breathing or abdominal breathing exercises, they're super important for the really good calm seas orgasms.
Doing a session when you're stressed out, or because you're bored. It might work, but you're building bad habits.
Thanks again for sharing !
I'm sure that I have a few bad habits but the one that I am really cognizant of now is tensing muscles when pleasure starts, like tensing for a traditional orgasm. I'm working on relaxing into the pleasure.
I certainly have a long way to go on my journey, but the rookie mistake I am trying to correct right now is not being aroused enough when going into a session.
I have heard lots of people say that you need to be really aroused. I thought that thinking a few dirty thoughts or masturbating a little was sufficient, but i decided to step up my game.
Before my last session, I decided to play with my Fleshlight. I thrusted my penis in several different positions until I almost came, but held back, hoping this would be sufficient arousal. Then, I stopped touching my penis and inserted my Helix. This was probably my best progress to date in an Aneros session. The pleasure was amplified and I may have finally found the road that leads to prostrate orgasm...fingers crossed.
Biggest mistake - insufficient prep (read: clean out). For me, that's about ½ hour or a bit more.
Times I have mistakenly thought I was prepped resulted in stalled super O's and feeling like I "just can't get into it". Removal of the Aneros and subsequent defecation ruins the mood for me.
Proper prep on the other hand means 2 - 4 hours of ecstasy.
I vary relaxing/ contractions but maintaining a "loose" tension in the rectum and moving the torso/hips/legs guarantees the fireworks will soon follow.