Privacy Problem, Booked a Near Hotel, My Mom Complains

The need for privacy is a basic human need. One way or another you need to claim this for yourself. Both your strategies you have already tried sound good. If you can impress on others in the home that you will be taking some alone time either in your room or spending the night out and don't want to be disturbed or questioned about it that would be good. You can only do your best to set boundaries and keep reinforcing them. It's no one else's business what your private time is for - that's why it's "private".

I'm in something of a housing crisis myself and sharing an RV with a co-worker for a month or two, so nothing but Aless for me right now. If only I had an option for a $5.00 hotel room near me, that would be the perfect solution! I think I'd bring my own sheets though...

Another solution is to only stay in the hotel room for a few hours, and you don't necessarily need to tell your parents where you've been.

One-person apartments are more expensive anyway, and I've always had roommates, so I've always had privacy problems. Heck even if I had a studio apartment there'd still be people above or below me so I don't know what the ultimate solution is there, still trying to figure this out myself. I'm pretty far away from being able to own a house. The way the world's going right now it seems kind of like Soylent Green where the press of people means no one lives alone anymore and all the poor live in the stairwells. Ha, then again, if everyone used Aneros products maybe we wouldn't have problems with overpopulation at all 😉

As far as issues with your parent/s go, in my experience, they're not going away. You've already discovered hurdles that hinder not only your Aneros progress, but also your relationship with your mother. As someone who was forced to live with his mother for a few years in his late-20s, get out ASAP, the problems will only get worse.

@alover Your mother sounds like mine used to be. I know that you are living in her house but what you do is none of her business. I think your solution of a night in a hotel once in a while is good, keep it up. No need to lie just be 'economical with the truth' as you appear have been already. Do you find your nights away are good?

Yes privacy is a problem for most of us unless we own up to our nearest and dearests that we are partaking in this medical device to improve our health and possibly reduce the risk of prostate problems in older life.

Have you tried wearing your device while out walking? I wear mine in all sorts of places like sitting in my car, or walking in the woods or even doing the housework. When the Aneros sensation get intense I rest and let them take over my body for a little while, then carry on until the next flurry.

You're 31 and a grown man. She needs to understand that as such, you not only have a right to occasional privacy, but a right to not be questioned or made to feel bad about needing to get away for a while. I think your solution of a hotel room is great, and your excuse is valid. Aneros sessions need a nice quiet relaxing atmosphere, so what you're saying is indeed the truth. Your mom sounds much like mine was, in that something inside of her prevents her from viewing you as an adult, so she can't help but treat you like a child. I think your best solution is to save some money, maybe find a roommate, and get out into your own place away from her. Your relationship with both your prostate and with your mother will only improve as a result.

If you want to get out for a night, you can always say it’s for meditation or to be alone. Or that you stayed out with friends all night. I agree that at your age it is a good time to get out of the house. I spend about half of the money I earn to rent a studio appartment. It is crazy how expensive it is, how much money I throw down the drain. BUT independence is worth it. It allows me the privacy to have sex with myself and others, and I don’t have to answer to anyone. Maybe in your city/country the economic situation makes it hard to find a job that you want, or even to find a job at all. But working 30-40 hours a week doing menial labor to be able to pay for independence is worth it in my mind. Not just for sex, but also to get away from the twisted familial relationships that come through decades of forced proximity...

Thanks all for the thoughtful response

@alover Your mother sounds like mine used to be. I know that you are living in her house but what you do is none of her business. I think your solution of a night in a hotel once in a while is good, keep it up. No need to lie just be 'economical with the truth' as you appear have been already. Do you find your nights away are good?

@JohnHope

I think I haven't reached Super O yet, but I got many pleasure time along the journey.

Once I checked in, I prep up and start doing a session. I try listening hypno erotic files to make relaxation easier (kinkyshibby). Plugged in USB to available TV and let it play the porn videos I prepared before hand. Trying a bunch of different things. Hypno on, hypno off, TV on, TV off, trying many positions too.

Time is surely flies, from check-in time until dinner, 5 hours went by like nothing. After getting some dinner, I did a session again another 4 hours. Then sleep, waking up in the morning, did another session 3 hours until I checked out.

There's this one time I sleep with side position, Aneros was on. So I dreamt that there's this unknown Grandpa looking at me doing a session, and then he moves the Aneros with his finger. This grandpa positioned the Aneros for me. And then suddenly my prostate feeling so tingly, very tingly that I had to catch my breath. Because of old grandpa doing it (in my dream) I don't want to get aroused by it, because I will feel gay. So I quickly get up, and the tingly feeling went off. Man, If only I dreamt about hot girl playing with my Aneros, things would be different. I get the tingly right, but the dream was not right.

Yes privacy is a problem for most of us unless we own up to our nearest and dearests that we are partaking in this medical device to improve our health and possibly reduce the risk of prostate problems in older life.

Have you tried wearing your device while out walking? I wear mine in all sorts of places like sitting in my car, or walking in the woods or even doing the housework. When the Aneros sensation get intense I rest and let them take over my body for a little while, then carry on until the next flurry.

@chestinut
There's this thread that a man tells story about him having Aneros on while he's doing daily activity, getting some wood work done, walking from here to there while getting some Orgasm along the way. Maybe it's your story, I can't seem to find the thread to confirmed it.

That story inspires me to try putting Aneros on while doing things. Well, I am mostly sitting doing my job and ocasionally walking up down in stairs to fetch a drink or bathroom time. But what I got was a sore ass, and numbness. I don't understand how the experience could be different. Maybe my prostate has not awakened yet.

Hi @alover Thanks for your reply. As I said previously, I think given your circumstances your solution is a good one. When you get older, as I am, you'll look back and realise your actions were right and you'll be glad you did. Don't get hung up on the gay thing, don't allow it to prevent you making progress and enjoying your sessions if that's what it takes. No body will judge you. This may sound hard and I don't want to cause offence but your mother isn't going to be around forever but don't waste this precious time. Your needs are the thing that is important here. Learn from my mistakes and consider yourself.

@chestinut
There's this thread that a man tells story about him having Aneros on while he's doing daily activity, getting some wood work done, walking from here to there while getting some Orgasm along the way. Maybe it's your story, I can't seem to find the thread to confirmed it.

That story inspires me to try putting Aneros on while doing things. Well, I am mostly sitting doing my job and ocasionally walking up down in stairs to fetch a drink or bathroom time. But what I got was a sore ass, and numbness. I don't understand how the experience could be different. Maybe my prostate has not awakened yet.

No it was not me you refer to. I believe part of the rewiring activity is the development of the anal and PC muscles. Wearing a device whilst in the standing position requires the anal muscles to be clapped tighter to prevent the device falling out. The added clenching causes the device to be drawn further in. Also as the orgasm develops the internal muscles start to draw the device in even further and I feel the P tab pressing harder on the perineum. The sore ass is an indication that not enough lub has been applied.

There's this thread that a man tells story about him having Aneros on while he's doing daily activity, getting some wood work done, walking from here to there while getting some Orgasm along the way. Maybe it's your story, I can't seem to find the thread to confirmed it.

This thread, I believe?

This thread, I believe?

Yes it is, thank you

There's this one time I sleep with side position, Aneros was on. So I dreamt that there's this unknown Grandpa looking at me doing a session, and then he moves the Aneros with his finger. This grandpa positioned the Aneros for me. And then suddenly my prostate feeling so tingly, very tingly that I had to catch my breath. Because of old grandpa doing it (in my dream) I don't want to get aroused by it, because I will feel gay. So I quickly get up, and the tingly feeling went off. Man, If only I dreamt about hot girl playing with my Aneros, things would be different. I get the tingly right, but the dream was not right.

Dreams are weird and often very metaphorical. Maybe the old grandpa was you from the future and that's why he knew exactly where to position it. The extra decades he lived gave him insight into how your body works and where it needed to be. It wasn't gay, it was masturbation.

Love the very wise @Mumbo 's most thoughtful interpretation of erotic dreams.

Using aneros or not, mothers or neighbors do not need to know our private actions and thoughts — my humble opinion.

Brothers, who sleep in the same room, could be converted, if there is an opportunity.
No rush, though... perhaps could first try to share the "ball under perineum" trick with brothers and see how it goes!
(Wife/girlfriend(s) is a totally different matter, and there are threads on that important issue.)

The thread @clenchmaster started is very arousing and beautiful. Many thanks to @Faith-Fortis for showing us the way!
However, many men do not have a lake house or the conditions/environment @clenchmaster enjoys.

Most men still need some privacy and quality time in bed to enjoy the aneros-sessions, which would last for about 90-180 minutes or longer.

Equally important is to find a plan that is also on a manageable budget!
I think renting a hotel room is not bad. But it seems that doing the session only once a month might not be enough. Most men need more than that…

The big lesson I learned from this thread is: PRIVACY is in fact very pricey!

I might be over-zealously meddling but of course mine are only suggestions!

I think what @chestinut does is excellent: wearing the device at home while doing household chores or taking a walk. I do this fairly often (but not in office). Wearing aneros at home, naked or with clothes, as often as you like is very manageable. When a quality time/ condition becomes available, you are so ready to ride the big waves!

On manageable budget: one could consider using

• A stand-up desk (height-adjustable (converter) on Amazon $179-$495 but a proper sized, strong carton box would do—available at the local stores: just $1 or FREE) Or, you can make one if your carpenter skills are good
• A thong with back strap around 1-inch wide ($10-$25)
• Condom (men should always have the budget for condoms, right?)
• DUDE Wet Wipes (flush-able) (with Dispenser) (3 Packs (48 Wipes each pack), under $10)

Desk and thong are long-term investment; condom + wipes maybe $10-20 a week?!

To aid the sessions in standing & walking positions (there are some threads on this topic):
If you need to do the desk-work, “Height-adjustable Sit/Stand-up Desk” is a worthy investment. Modern life becomes increasingly sedentary; sitting too long is no good. Sitting might also limit the movements of aneros-device. Standing and walking would better help you to (s)exercise your Kegel muscles, perineum, rectal sphincters, buttock, waist/back, and abdomen, as independent groups or as ensembles. You could draw the aneros further into you and relax (not push out…), draw it in and relax, etc. Some really sweet sensations and even involuntary motions would soon follow.

Use thong as harness to reduce anxiety:
Thong is the go-to attire for Tom Cruise and Tom Holland (see news) when they perform the actions in the movies. Thong could be your best friend if you want to wear aneros under clothes, at home or out and about. Aneros-Trident or helix-syn could be easily (Progasm is not …) held by your rectal sphincters without falling. But if you move a lot and clench your ass tight, sometimes the device could still fall out…

To avoid the “Oops moment,” use a thong as harness. The back-strap, with 25-30mm width of fabric, of a thong would hold the aneros in place without problem. (Therefore, G-string is too narrow for this function.) The front pouch of the thong could hold your penis in position and take care of quantity pre-cum. Recommending the Ergowear X4D thong / Cocksox modal thong, which I wear regularly. Because modal is super soft and stretchy, when you contract and relax your ass, the aneros could move as intended.

The whole point to have Aneros, rather than a butt-plug, is to enjoy the multiple-axle lateral and rotational movements of the massager! The aneros (trident) is famous for being an auto-fucking piston, plus the P-tab and K-tab, caressing and nudging all your sweet-spots. To allow Aneros to show its dance moves freely, our bottom is not always clenching or squeezing so tightly, it needs to be in the motions of contract-and-relax-and-contract-and-relax… Wearing a thong allows you to do this worry-free. Our body could do the voluntary moves but when the “involuntary” show up, let the involuntary take over!

To make the cleaning easier:
Put a condom over the aneros before welcoming it into your anorectal chamber. You only need very little lube (so nothing will stain on your cloth…), for the exterior and interior of a condom is often well-lubed already.
“DUDE wipes” are so easy to use and affordable!
When you decide to conclude a session, wipe it and throw the wipes & condom away! Flush (and destroy the evidences…no mother needs to know) and all set!

To reduce noise:
When you orgasm, the bed might become noisy. If you are home and decide to wear it to sleep but worry about the excitement might alert you mother, other family members or neighbors, take the floor. Yoga-mat might help! (Another $15-20 budget)—Just stretching & relax!

Set the goal/expectation flexible
2hr could be fun; 30-min is also fine. If the conditions are favorable, then go for it and enjoy the ride! To be “satisfactory,” the sessions do not always need to end with Os or ejaculations. If you are busy or decide to sleep, it is also fine. Following the nature flow of things is always right.

Aless fun could be "free" and "private"! Men could do their Kegel/buttock/anus/perineum (s)exercises fully clothed.

Sorry for the long rant…and I believe you will find even better ways to handle the situations.