Porn vs. Overall Sensitivity

I know what you mean! But you have to move on and realize that those first sensations are just the beginning to your sex life. And by sex life I mean "Sex Life." I found my dad's Playboys when I was 7 and although I didn't know what my penis was back then, I was aroused in my mind, I remember looking at the women and being totally into it, but wasn't going to cum or anything like that. By the time I could orgasm it was all up hill from there. I couldn't get enough, 2 to 4 times a day, never could cum enough. (I'm still that way I think)

Do you feel less excited about your sexuality when you watch porn? I mean, does it still make you excited or not? Is there a kind of porn that really turns you on, versus other kinds that don't? and, how old are you now? I know you'll never be able to experience that excitement again, but you never will, it was a major "first" in your life. We've all had those, and I can't even begin to tell you the firsts I would give anything to experience again!!!

Thanks for sharing 🙂

I don't do porn, it's part of my Christian upbringing to avoid that. I always heard the reason successive exposures to porn require more intensely stimulating (or disturbing based upon your point of view) material to produce the same level of arousal response is likened to how addicting drugs are needed in ever higher dosages to overcome the neuroreceptor tolerance in the brain, thus explaining how simply stopping porn usage is sometimes so hard to do.

@jspad - I don't look at porn either any more... Something you might find interesting is the No Fapping videos on youtube... they will give you some great reasons (non spiritual/moral) to not use porn. Another site you might want to visit is yourbrianonporn.com - this is a great non judgmental site that talks about the chemistry of porn use and why it is so addictive along with some other interesting effects of porn on the brian and body.

Certainly there are those who use porn on this site to Aneros, while others of us think it could be a distraction to Aneros use.

Don't give up on what you believe is right for you, even if it is hard to do.

One has to take porn in stride. If one has no discipline, one will become a junkie, and over indulge to the point of destruction. IMO, most will either outgrow pornography, or severely limit their exposure to it. Then again, we live in an extremely sexual society. Sex sells, no? The vast majority of of porn is not representative
of how most men and women have sex. Or is it? If one's mind is not strong, porn can definitely entrench unrealistic expectations of sex. Most porn is like an action movie for one's genitals. No matter the genre of one's pornographic tastes, it is only a click away. No matter how depraved, vile, violent, and demeaning it may or may not be.

Then again, perhaps some are too obsessed with pornography, then they get an Aneros and become too obsessed with it. What a vicious cycle! Obsession is what obsession does. At the end of the day, it is all about discipline. One should never deal with anything, unless one can walk away from it for an indeterminate amount of time, and be no worse for wear. Wanting the initial feeling one received ,upon first seeing porn, to reoccur is no different than a drug junkie chasing his first high. It is an effort in futility at best. That first rush and/or high will never be achieved again.

I used to be addicted to porn, and a sex addict as well. I speak what I have lived, and I speak what I know. I kicked my particular demons through meditation and discipline. The mind is all! Break the chains that bind you, get some discipline, and stop repeating the same negative behaviors, while expecting positive results, and...
SILENCE YOUR MIND!

@techpump Unless I've stopped watching porn for a while, it gets to the point where porn is not even that arousing. I'm not into anything violent or that I think is morally wrong, but just gets less and less stimulating. I'm 20 years old, and I've used porn since I was about 13. Also, I don't think it'll be impossible to achieve at least somewhere near the sensitivity I used to have. Or at least I'll be able to develop new sensitivities, some of which I've attained.

@Brian21030I I've already looked at YourBrainOnPorn, and researched the topic to death. It's time to put it into practice though. Hopefully this time for good.

@Pspotsquirter I think pornography is too ingrained into my head for me to take it in moderation. I've tried moderation thinking I'd be fine, but I just end up looking up too much again. I think that what I feel is much better when I'm porn-free anyway. A little sexual fantasy can be my indulgence in moderation, and I focus on the feelings instead of getting hung on which picture to finish to.

The problem with porn nowadays is that it's lazy. Too much content and not enough substance.

I still watch porn but I've really turned a lot of it off. During sessions I personally like audio cues more than visual stimulation.

Okay men, I have a question and I'm interested in your input. I have a friend who visualizes porn quite often. It seems this is his avenue for becoming aroused. From the statements you've all made... It seems you believe the more often there's exposure, that its necessary for arousal. Am I correct?

@nurselady, Basically if a guy watches too much porn with all of the kinky stuff out there then regular old boring sex may not be enough to get him aroused. That can definitely happen. Porn can be like any addiction where you just need more and more to get aroused, so I guess it depends on how far down the rabbitt hole your guy friend is.

I've seen a good bit of porn, collected a good bit of it. But I don't add anything more to the collection, these days, there's not much point in it. The thrill is not even half what it used to be, but that is something that comes with time anyway.

Now I'm 33 and noticed a significant decline in sex drive since age 30... it's just something that comes with age. Aging makes you less aroused and more jaded in general, it desensitizes the brain... you've seen a lot of things, you're conditioned to them, you don't get the thrill anymore. Makes sense.

@Bartolo99,That makes me feel so sad for you. If you really feel that at the age of 33 your drive is on the decline, you do have a problem.

I'm 75 and still feel that my sex drive is important to me. Seems to me that what you need is a strong relationship with someone you truly love. At your age you should be approaching the peak of your sexual interest but it doesn't suddenly drop off after that.

If you want it to, it can remain at that level for tens of years afterwards.

Be positive and believe that your sexuality will remain intact for the remainder of your life, however long that may be. Just remember that men can be sexually active well into their 90s. I certainly hope that I will be! So can you.

shit I get hornier every day it seems, I'm in no way slowing down! I've always been fascinated with sex, sexuality and everything related. I can go go go and really don't feel like I have ever slowed down. My wife and I have had more sex, more intense sex, more longer lasting sex and more intense emotional experiences as each year has passed in our 16 year relationship. Spontaneous sex, like all of a sudden against the kitchen counter, or on the arm of the couch during a program that is as so not sexy as you can imagine, is on the rise.

My point is everyone's sex drive and hormone levels are different. But I'm 38 and can get it up as easy, if not maybe easier, than I could 10 years ago, or 10 years before that. But not everyone is like this, hormones are biological and not influenced by porn; although, the mind controls your penis, and can effect it, but if your hormone levels aren't where they once were, your mind can't easily turn or change that around. But, back on subject...

The one thing that may be a culprit in porn addiction are the levels, quality and accessibility to porn as we have aged over the last 20 years.

I started out 25 years ago with nothing. Nothing on TV, TV wasn't that sexy or revealing then, no video access (no VCR or TV in my room) and there were no computers. No real porn online that any of us even considered...porn, on a computer? What's that? Where do we get these "computers" from anyway??? When I was 17, my friend stole nudie mags from a convenient store and stashed them in a beachside resort bathroom. We drove there frantically to pick them up, I think I had a hard on the whole drive there lol, and I got one mag and it was like I had my own movie theater! Man, 21 years ago, what we had to go through as teenagers to catch a glimpse of coochie...

15 years ago, I was 23, and we finally had a computer. That flood of porn was amazing, cumshots and boobs and hair whipping, etc. I came like a fountain from this stuff! It took playing with myself to new places. But, my relationship with my wife was also getting better at the same time. I learned my body so much then, the stimulation and arousal let me experiment with sex and myself in ways I couldn't have imagined, and maybe the porn helped me? I'll never know, I can't reverse history.

Then, just 5 years ago, you can now get anything on your phone even. With a phone, you can be anywhere and see EVERYTHING. So we've come from barely a magazine to a pocket movie theater and high quality sex video 24/7. Talk about major effect to the male sex brain!

The availability of porn and easy access, I think, is what makes it so numbing to the mind. If I had a computer in my room with the speed of the internet now currently, when I was 13, I don't know what I'd be doing now 25 years later, I might be numb and brain dumb to porn too. But a picture here and there back then was worth a 6 hour fuck fest on video to me, so is/was there a difference? Personally, I think so; it's all "porn" but the levels of intensity, a picture to a POV bj video, with sound, there's no comparison.

I hope this makes sense! Sorry for the personal rant and personal info, just trying to get my point/idea across. What does the Aneros forum think about porn access and ease of access and computers and technology's role in its availability, and as a result, over sensitizing?

I enjoy watching amatuer porn while riding. YUVUTU.com enjoy a lot

An interesting thread. Im 40cough something and have a high sex drive, much more so than the wife and have to add extra relief to my life. Some of this is with aneros (very noob) and fapping to porn. Interestingly tho when I'm using the Aneros I visualise my body and also my wife's body and her reactions of when we have made love. I guess I'm very visual and love her expressions and body movements when either going down on her or making her writhe with a small vibrator or my favourite one where she gasps in pleasure when I initially put my cock up her ass. Im getting hard now just thinking about it! So I guess in summary I don't think I need porn during an aneros session cos my mind works overtime but for a usual dick orgasm I Defo need some porn for stimulation. Ive grown up with porn since the age if ten or so and over the years have seen most ranges of the scale that exists in porn but I think I have settled down to watching what I like which I spose is vanilla flavour porn and leave the extreme stuff alone for those that enjoy that. Each to their own I spose! Porn is going to be around and people are going to be for and against it but I guess people can make their own informed choice to view and use it or not.

Interesting thread. I definitely don't like extreme porn, lol.

@Pommie, techpump: I've been really noticing the decline lately... it takes up to TEN straight days, sometimes, before I have an urge to masturbate. I still have basic desire and I'm still stimulated by pretty girls, but "the urge" has gone missing. I believe this decline is age-related, but with additional factors, including a couple health problems in the background (constant 24/7 pressure headache is the main one), but also no real life sexual encounters.. ever.. not even once. Quite embarrassing for me to admit at 33 years of age. I'm not unattractive, rather, super-shy with low confidence, and I'm not sure I've ever approached a woman. So it's just this complete lack of genuine sexual experience, I think, that's made this "one and only" avenue to get off so monotonous and obsolete. WTF is the use anymore.. anyway, be glad you're not me, guys!

The coward's way out is to pay for it, give your money to someone who most likely in all other circumstances would never want sex with you. That's not gaining something, that's losing.

I guess this matter is for a different thread or a different forum, though? I don't want to seem like I'm hijacking this thread!

cheers

Pretty girls ought to be enough to set off some hormones, but normally I don't get anything from seeing cute girls. That HAS to be a big sign that something isn't quite right. It's time I finally took the time to level out my brain.

I love watching porn. Yuvutu.com has so nice porn and it's real sex. It triggers me just lkeit did when I was 15. Sometimes watch it with a buddy, usually during aneros session, sometimes watch it with the wife. Works like a natural viagra seeing up close shots only good str8 porn here. Haven't found real bi porn yet to watch

I like how things are going so far. Today I had a pretty nice orgasm without porn. I also like being able to more easily get aroused using just my mind.

I'm also starting to feel things a little more strongly regarding Aneros use. The feelings are still subtle, but at least now they're happening again.

I too was from the pre-internet days when as schoolboys we would scour the parks and drains and we had eagle eyes where we could spot a discarded stick book from 50m away. The first time I saw a magazine with people having sex was when I was 15. I couldn't believe that people would allow themselves to be photographed doing something so private and explicit and visceral. At 18 I entered my first adult book shop and my heart was pumping like I'd run a 4 minute mile. It was so exciting. I hesitantly bought a magazine titled 'Rasiert' (shaved). It was so nasty because back in the 80's it was still all bush. I felt like I'd committed a major crime and expected a SWAT team or a television news crew to be waiting for me as I exited the store with the magazine firmly tucked down the back of my jeans, shirt covering. 25 years of desensitisation later, I find I too have realised that although porn is amazingly alluring, it is a vacuous pastime and causes problems in a relationship, especially when you realise you'd rather watch porn on the computer than have real sex with your wife.
The aneros and my KSMO practice have taught me to keep it honest and divert some of my horn to better more productive and manageable uses. I keep away from porn for a week or two at a time and I find one result is overnight wood that I find quite pleasant to wake up to, and it keeps me from rolling out of bed. It shows me how much sexual energy I have been carelessly frittering away. The real sex life is much improved too.
It took me far too long to come to this realisation.
Time for me to hit the sack. Quick, before that fatal first Google search.

im interested in downloading some audio to replace visual porn, where is good for this?

I guess I`m addicted to porn, after 15 years of it, but as some tend to suggest in here, I have not gone to more extreme types of porn. I actually tend to look for something nice and genuine. (As best there is anyway). X-Art is my favourite.
For me, I have a good amount of appetite for sex, but not my wife, so someway or another I have to "tend to my needs" myself. Porn is one thing, and now Aneros another. I would gladly have more sex with my wife and throw the porn in the bin, but unfortunately I`m not that lucky. She seems almost uninterested in sex, and the times we do have some it`s agreed and arranged, nothing has ever been "on the fly", no spontaneous sex ever. It s driving me nuts.

To be honest, I actually don`t see myself with her in 10 years if this keeps up, but with a lovely girl and as a family... Lets just say I don`t want my girl to go through what me and my sister had to when our parents broke up, all those years ago.

Meh, sorry for private stuff, but sometimes it just gotta get out of my mind.

you need to just have a break from the porn, I've found also i like watching aneros users experience super o's, way more of a turn on that some porn. Xart is my fave too, such high quality! but give a break for a while.

For me, I don't think a break from porn will cut it. If I get back into it, I end up back at square one pretty quick. I like the things I'm feeling now, and am interested in seeing how they grow.

Checking in. So far it's been almost two weeks. Lately it seems I'm no longer feeling down/frustrated about not looking at porn. I've also gotten back to the point where fantasies in my head are at least somewhat effective. Also more apt to feeling nice things from my rear, but I've been fighting an external hemorrhoid for a while, so I'm not too keen on messing around down there for a while. At least I've been eating lots of vegetables lately, Mom made a stir-fry 😀 And I've also been drinking LOTS of water and lying down a lot. Except for not feeling comfortable with sitting, I don't really have any complaints.

Congratulations. Your sensitivity to sexual stimulation as well as to sexual thoughts will improve as you stay away from looking at it. Also the longer you go, the easier it will be to stay away. Sorry about the hemorrhoid.

Thanks slimjim 🙂

It is getting easier to stay away from porn, and my sensitivity is improving steadily. I've been on porn since I was about 13, so I suspect my aneros sessions will improve quite a bit as time goes on. I'm already feeling nice things from my rear on occasion again, and I haven't been having sessions for a while.

Jspad, is your concern that porn will desensitize your mind to sexual arousal or replace your inner sexual fantasies and desires? Do you feel guilty about viewing porn? Are you afraid you're addicted or are you addicted? Taking a break from porn is a good idea if only to rediscover what turns you on from the inside.

I haven't the long history with porn that you have but it's been a powerful influence on my sexuality and arousal. Since I didn't have sex with anyone until I was 32 years old, porn was my tutor in what sex was about. I learned what turned other men on and how they got off. I learned about what turned women on and how they got off. Of course this was fake, wish fulfillment for men on film.

I did learn that I wasn't attracted to women and that I was attracted to men. But it took other lesons to make my exuality sink in. Today I do get some ideas and enrich my fantasy life from some kinds of porn. But that is only after having established my sexuality in real life. So I'm not in the anti-porn camp. I think there's some unnecessary fear and guilt going on. Porn is one tool among many to arouse yourself. For instance I like writing porn and reading it. I do tend to get stuck in it at times.

Trust your instincts and experiences and thinking about this. IMO the real danger is when the pull towards watching porn replaces ones sex life and fantasies. Only the individual knows when that is happening.

I'm not saying porn is bad, it's just too easy to overuse it. I'm happy with many of the changes that have already happened since quitting for only about two weeks.

I'm starting to sometimes feel pleasure at random from my rear sometimes again, as well as elsewhere. This hasn't been very prominent at all for a while. Also, I masturbated a while ago and it was so much better than what I usually feel, and it was without porn to boot!

Porn is nice, but it's too good. I get to the point where not even porn is all that great, and yet now, after just a couple of weeks, masturbation without porn seem nicer than it did with porn before I quit.

The bottom line is that there's no question anymore that I've been desensitized by porn, and that my best bet for advancing with aneros practice is to stay away from porn. I'm not saying everyone should stay away, but I know that I should.

I second all those above who diss the use of porn for stimulation and as a preliminary to Aneros use. Prostate generated pleasure is different from penile centered pleasure and porn, IMHO, confuses that in one's brain. I had also used music--tantric and relaxation--in the past and have abandoned that too. I found it a distraction. @speedi: I am not a marriage expert (though my wife and I have been together 43 years), and I apologize in advance for barging in to your life . There are up's and down's in everyone's libido. If there is a downward spiral, it should be looked into, medically. And regardless, you should sit down and talk frankly about it. One of the good effects I (and many others) have noticed about Aneros use regarding our spouses, is how it has refocused our male penile centered sexuality to be aware of our partner's needs, and, knowing that with Aneros use our intercourse orgasms will be usually better and more powerful, we ditch that anxiety that men have about their performance and the intensity of their experience. Of course, I'm speaking as a 64 year old... But if your relationship is important to you--and as the years go by, it is the relationship that will sustain you together, not (just) the sex, then by all means talk to your wife. It's worth it.