Pegging vs Solo Dildoing

I just recently bought a Tantus Acute with the same thing in mind its not real big seemed from the reviews to be a good size for pegging it does flex a little but not enough to cause problems as deva was describing in her post.

I tried it solo the other day same deal pain and then something else I had a pain shoot in my back scared the &*%* out of me, not sure if it was the position I was in or what, the pain went away and I enjoyed it like you did but I am waiting a while to try it again next time I am going a lot slower with it.

I am not at all ready for phase 2, to bring the wife into this fantasy until I am comfortable with the thing.

Sticking with my trusty aneros for now.

@ChiMan I have that one it was kinda short for pegging if she is on top.

@xtimedt69 Thanks for the tip I am not ready to hit her up for a go at this right now, so I will see what I can do with it solo.

Does anyone have suggestion for one that is not real fat but is long enough for future reference?

@ChiMan I ordered this and will have it tomorrow:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005VK9LH2/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1


The 8" one it gives her more leeway not to have to push so far to get it in and keep it in. One guy here talked about this one:


http://www.amazon.com/Mustang-VixSkin-Silicone-Dildo-Vanilla/dp/B0026CEDIU/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1401235443&sr=1-1&keywords=vixskin+mustang


I think it is 6.5 but whoa expensive.

@xtimedt69 Thanks for the information better to spend the money right the first time.

@mdad ok i understand what you are saying. Wow it just dawned on me that you said you got something thats the same size as you...how hot is that?? Now you know what it feels like!!! lol Yes you can take something that size but keep in mind I worked my way UP to that size from something smaller, I didnt just start out there, I'm not a glutton for punishment. Now the rest of this message will be a public service announcement, more for general informational purposes, not to piss anybody off. So read the next part with humor...but it is factual so dont take it as i'm blowing smoke up your asses, they are filled with aneros devices or dildos anyway so that wont work. lol

I really need you guys to understand something. Just read it and think it through slowly and thoroughly. I totally understand the NEED for men to want their women to "get" something out of pegging. Meaning they want them to feel these great sensations and be excited about the act. That is so nice of your guys and we really appreciate it. I get that you want your wives to be into it...however you want them to be into something that you have not brought up. I know that men would love for their women to approach them and say, "Honey, tonight I'm going to peg the hell out of you and you will like it!!!" however, most women are not like me, they are not really the initiator. I know it sucks but ask yourself this have you constructively asked her to initiate more and told her how you truly felt about it (in most cases the answer is no, and yes how you ask/say it makes a big difference). I know of what I speak, lots of men have told me oh my wife wont be interested in something she's never said anything etc...and i tell them how to present it and all of a sudden they are bent over the kitchen table...having the time of their lives i might add. Lots of times women get excited or more enthusiastic when we see how much pleasure YOU are getting out of it. Keep in mind men...women are NOT men, for instance lots of times a man is ready for sex in seconds...women have to warm up. Our minds have to be in the right place, we have to be aroused and relaxed etc...so we wont jump up and down at the mere mention of pegging usually. However, mention it to us in a sexy way, let us think on it...once the mind gets working and juices flowing (no pun intended...but hey it happens), we are dying to strap up and get it on, then watching you writhe in pleasure just adds fuel to the fire.

Just remember guys the longer you leave us in the dark the longer you go without getting what you want or at least exploring it...I also want to send those reading this over to the Pegging thread please read @xtimedt69 comments about how his wife's attitude has changed and how it has greatly benefited him. He has been gracious enough to let us share in some of the details of his pegging journey and I'm grateful for it. He demonstrates how a man should go about this with his wife, after all I feel a sex life should be shared.

@ChiMan first off I see you are new here, welcome aboard, sit back relax and enjoy the ride. Just a tip to help you with the pain issue. I'm not sure what caused the pain up your back, but this trick should help.

When starting (and if you are already doing anything I describe here great youre on the right track), take time to get what you need, lube, dildo, whatever you use to get aroused. Have all of that ready and waiting for you after you "prep" (whether thats potty time, shower, enema, etc...). So when you get to the area where you plan to practice you wont have to get up anymore. Once in your space take time to relax think about how sexy its going to be, how good its going to feel. Touch yourself (not just your genitals, all over where ever it feels good to you), think of how sexy you'll look while pleasuring yourself in this way. I know it may sound corny but get into it, it works. Put some lube on your hands and massage your anus with your fingers, dont insert them yet, just massage slowly. If you think you are going slow...go slower. I wont lie it helped me a lot to vocalize, moaning aroused me more, so try that it may work may not, keep breathing never stop breathing through this whole thing. You should feel your anus start to relax meaning as you massage it your fingertip will easily slip in, once you feel that using only your fingertip massage your opening, use more lube if needed you want this to be slippery, no friction. Take time to enjoy how good that feels, get used to that feeling and associate it with pleasure, then think of how much more pleasure is waiting (notice a trend here slowly ramping up arousal then more penetration). So continue until you feel your sphincter relaxing more, soon you should be able to slip your finger inside (i know its an awkward angle...if you can try lying on your side and reaching behind you to reach your hole that helps me instead of reaching towards the front while on my back i really cant reach that way). Once you get to that point move your finger slowly inside you give your anus time to relax a bit more. Once that is done you should be able to notice that if you withdraw your finger and reinsert it slowly that it slips right in where as when you first started that was not possible. I also want to mention go with the angle your body is giving you, while you have your finger inside notice what direction it enters you comfortably at. Usually it would be aiming your finger towards the front of your body as if you are trying to stroke your prostate, hope that makes sense (i'm a visual person...damn words).

Now that you are at this point, lube up whatever dildo you are inserting, press the tip of it agains your anus, you should notice it slip in a bit, probably not all the way, once you get to a point where you are feeling just the slightest pain (please listen to your body PLEASE dont hurt yourself i beg you lol) stop applying pressure. Take some breaths, on the exhale try closing your eyes and visualizing you relaxing into the toy, imagine you just absorbing it taking it in. Almost like a trance state (i cant think of it in any better way or words i'm trying guys lol), usually when you do this a little more of it will slip inside you. If not DO NOT GET FRUSTRATED, stay relaxed and just keep the pressure at the same point, keep breathing you will feel it go in more at some point (sometimes it may be helpful if you keep your device steady and inch onto it by pressing your ass onto it...might even turn you on more idk...maybe thats just a woman thing???). When you feel it inching inside you press it in until you feel resistance (if you have the "head" of the dildo in usually you are home free but sometimes thats not the case depending on the shape of the object), stop right at the edge of feeling any pain. Once again give your body time to acclimate, breathe and take in some more. Do this until you are at the desired depth or better yet until you take it all (yea the woman in me wants you to take it deep...sorry if I have to you have to lol). If you need to add more lube at any point by all means do.

When you do start to move it in and out of you please take your time, as you will need to get used to that sensation (i did...it was quite different...but pleasurable). Once you are comfortable with that you can adjust speed, angle, depth accordingly. If anybody tries this let me know how it worked, and if there is anything you tweeked to fit your style (gives me more ideas to try lol). Good Luck!!!

@devajones Hi Thanks for the advice that's kind of where I was going next time I try it.

I need to make sure I have at least a couple of hours blocked out so it goes very slow.

My biggest problem is relaxing and that has caused issues for me in the past so I am working on it and it is improving now that I have come to terms with the fact that it is an issue for me

@ChiMan congrats on realizing where you need work, that is half the battle. I have all the confidence in the world you'll work through it, after all there are great benefits for the work you put in.

@devajones: ok i understand what you are saying. Wow it just dawned on me that you said you got something thats the same size as you...how hot is that??

Haha it is, isn't it? I thought it was pretty kinky to try my own size, too. 🙂 I figure IF I like anal play enough, my wife may become interested at some point, too. And I can't suggest it to her if I haven't tried it myself...


As for your other comments, I get what you are saying about not giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'll get there, eventually. Just not ready yet until I actually like the solo action first. If I get pleasure from it, she will be more inclined to like it, I think. If I'm grimacing in pain, then it could hurt my chances of doing it again. So I just plan on waiting until I can take the dildo comfortably, and then I'll bring it up to her, assuming I still like it.

@ChiMan I got the "American Whopper" It is 1/4" larger than the Tantus Acute, But I find it uncomfortable right now. If the Acute were longer it feels good. If I can talk myself into it I may get the Tantus Sport Long@Ruby Ryder suggested Slow Drive Long but I have read some reviews that it is good for rocking but nor thrusting. But I don't know. But I have learned one thing in my short few days of this, the smooth ones are better so far. I might change my mind but for now I like smooth better.

@xtimed69

I just gave the acute another try last night solo very in prompt session wife and kid where going out for while leaving me home alone just out of the blue I had the urge to give it a try slipped a condom on it and prepped and went at it very slowly this time as Devajones suggested WOW! it was awesome.

I see what you mean though it may be a bit short for strapon play have not tried that yet for for solo it worked like a charm I did not want to stop had a super O was just deciding it may be time to get it out and the alarm beep went off they arrived back early! that thing came out real fast got hidden super quick and I was decent in about 10 seconds moved like a jack rabbit. Too close for comfort on that one!

Interesting note Last weekend I did bring it out and the wife started playing with it on me no penetration just rubbing it on the region she wants to explore further so we will be moving along soon I think. But as advised the thing will most likely be a bit short for pegging.

@mdad
Could tou please rename this thread to "pegging vs solo dildoing" or anything else that does not confuse people?

@canacan: OK, done.

@devajones: Talked to my wife. She's down with it! I'm not ready for it yet, though. I need to get the dildoing to be easy first. Thanks for the support. 🙂

We also started talking about kinks, fetishes, and deep sexual fantasies we hadn't talked about before. What a crazy weekend.

Question for @devajones, as our only current female resident - does anal sex or anal dildoing give YOU anal orgasms (not vaginal or clitoral)? I'd like my wife to experience these too. Or is it only a prostate thing?

@mdad from experience, solo can NOT hold a candle to pegging with the wife. Not even close in any way as far as I am concerned.

@mdad thats where I am heading now as well let us know how things go seems you may be there before me.

Solo is good, but it holds nothing compared to being pegged by my wife. The skin contact, the tenderness, the love. There is nothing like it! It sends me over the top. I think I have truly experienced the MMOs. They are like nothing I have ever experienced, and to have experienced that with my wife for the first time was truly amazing!!!!

@married2mywife I thought I was the only one ... they have been most incredible orgasm I ever experienced. Each one lasted about a minute. But the build is trance-like.

@mdad you just made my day!!! I needed that. You are more than welcome for the support, there should be more men like you! I'm so happy, this goes a long way in proving my point that I'm NOT a weird woman...lots of us want to peg you guys... you just have to ask. Also having those convos about what you desire sexually are very important in keeping you two on the same page and exploring new things great job guy I'm proud of you!

I'll also have @curiousjane weigh in on the anal sex question as well. I know she's done some anal and if she doesnt mind i'm sure she will drop in and answer as well....we 2 women have to stick together.

To answer your question yes I have had anal orgasms. I've had 2 one during anal sex and one with Peridise. I'll give one of my dildo's a shot today and let you know how I fare, but I'm very sure its possible. No its not just a prostate thing. She can experience them does she have any aneros devices, or does she like anal? I'm willing to help in the area where ever i can just let me know.

So whats still not easy about the solo anal play? Not rushing you just wondering if I can help it go a little better for you. Also dont take @married2mywife with a grain of salt. I think you are waiting for it to be easier however I have this feeling that your wife would make it go A LOT easier. I honestly think that the men around here who are married and into their wives are turned on the MOST by their wife. I think that arousal factor will make a huge difference in this being "easier", also the loving intimacy which is what draws me to pegging to begin with. There is just another dynamic when there is somebody you love involved...I dont think many can deny that.

Yes yes yes. Having my wife along for the ride was absolutely a turning point for me during sessions. Having her stroke my body and thighs lovingly whilst I was riding, seeing how aroused it got her seems to amplify everything. And bizarrely there is the intimacy from knowing it's your little secret to share.

I want to be pegged but alas it was turned down. However who knows what life has instore, after all a persons tastes change, and in time as this sort of play becomes more accepted in the mainstream maybe that will help. Happy for you @mdad you've overcome a sticking point that many men fall at. Hoping you can overcome your fears and enjoy it.

@devajones: as far as waiting for it to be "easy", I want to make sure that I can do it with as minimal pain, discomfort, and effort as possible. It's already getting easier for me. I don't think it will take that long! Also, I'm not sure if she wants to peg me, or is just happy to do something I want. I was always sure she'd say yes, but it's the enthusiasm part that I care more about. Hopefully after doing it the first time, she will like it honestly. That's why I want the first time to be free from pain as much as possible.

@mdad you are such a sweetheart. You think so much, that is definitely endearing, especially when it is a genuine concern for your wife. I have a bit of news for you...we dont say yes unless we are curious about it as well. She maybe happy to please you but I would bet my life she is just as curious about this...I'm also sure that curiosity will grow once she see's your eyes roll back in your head lol.

Glad you are making progress I understand what you are saying perfectly clear. I think you started a wonderful thread by the way. I'm glad to see it is progressing and has what I feel is valuable information cropping up pretty regularly.

@devajones I agree with you. When my wife saw the orgasms I was having, she went wild. She LOVED seeing me shake with pleasure all over my body! It's wonderful. Now if we just had more opportunities and time without the kids, that would be great! 😉

@cj187 you are a charming stud, I'm sure that with time and patience your gorgeous wife will get the pegging bug. Never give up on trying new things (i know you wont lol), and asking for what you want (in a constructive way) there is nothing wrong with your desires. You already know I find them quite sexy! Thinking of couples venturing into unadulterated sex between each other is something I'm on a crusade for. If I can help a few here I've done my work lol

@married2mywife YES we love to see our men in bliss. We love it when they take care of us sexually, and so many men as the mature learn to do that effortlessly, we do appreciate it and wouldnt trade it for the world. However a penile orgasm is great (i love those too), but there is a whole other world of seeing those MMO moments. Even if we have no clue what they are we know that you are enjoying yourself, and we are the cause of it. Nothing is more arousing than the thought and sight of that.

@devajones why thank you, I'm blushing. I love that you champion this and aneros play in general actually. I can see a paradigm shift in the way it's viewed but it's very early days still. May I ask what would be the best way of asking again?

@cj187 my best way of approaching this is sitting down with her and relaxing for a bit before you jump into the conversation ask her how she's doing or something like that just light easy talking. Then tell her how beautiful you think she is, ask her "have i told you how much you satisfy me lately? You do more than anybody else in my life, just you, only you." kiss her.

Yes I'm saying you have to woo her lol sorry guys thats just how we work. Ok back to the wording...

After that just say there is something I've envisioned you doing to me, it really turns me on. Just the idea of you being with you in this way has me lusting after you. I'd love it if you would peg me. I know its not something we've tried before, and I heard you before when you said no, but honey I'd just like to try. i only want to try with you as its not appealing to me with anybody else (even if thats a lie...say it lol). I think it would be so much better than my aneros because it involves you more actively. Can we try? I'd really like to share this intimate moment with you.

Something like that should get it. I want to throw this in for other guys reading this. Something you need to know about women is that when it comes to sex we need to know that we are your fantasy. We need to know that it is us doing whatever it is. Just like sharing Aneros sessions we need to know that you want us their because it is better with us than without us...that way we are not threatened by toys or various sex acts. Every woman is not like this but the vast majority are. Yes we have insecurities...it stems from that.

Now I hope that helps you can tailor it to fit your personality...but honestly it needs to be said pretty close to that...we hear things differently than men, so things have to be said a tad differently. Where as I can say honey lets fuck and he's ready...women need to hear, I'd really enjoy it if I could make sweet love to you...I'll make it more than pleasurable for both of us. See how thats different???

@devajones: Haha after all the fetishes and kinks I unleashed on her over the weekend, pegging may have been the most tame, and the only one that seemed easy...

@mdad so did she unleash any on you?

I can't help with the entire picture since we are only at the 'sawing' stage where my gloved wife runs a dildo in and out of my rectum by hand rather than by harness.

What I get:
-- A degree of physical and emotional expression that I cannot fully provide during a solo session with either an Aneros or a dildo.
-- A "sawing" that is in-sync with her interpretation of my feelings/emotions, breathing, vocalizations and body responses.
-- Her being in control of the pace of my build to orgasm and pushing me beyond the point where I might quit, either voluntarily; or, involuntarily due to body spasm.

What I want and don't get:
-- Axial alignment of our bodies and faces. (or her breasts symmetrically falling/pressing on my back.)
-- Her being 'hands free' to grasp my body around my rib cage, exercising further physical control or stimulating both of my nipples, ears etc.

With her in a harness, you can have it all!
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