Pegging vs Solo Dildoing

I will be interested in seeing what responses you get. I have wondered what the chick would even get out of it.

As a gay man girth is always bigger. But a dildo will give you a different feeling then a aneros toy. The dildo will be hard to locate the prostate. With kegeling I think you will be able to have anal orgasms with the dildo but get a small one or a butt plug for starters. Work slow and have fun.

It is not pegging unless a woman is involved ( with a harnessed dildo or a harness free dildo attached to her). It will not be hard to locate your prostate with a dildo. If your Progasm is not working for you, a dildo or pegging may not catapult you into outer space. If your wife is non-enthusiastic regarding pegging, she will abandon you at the alter of peggery, when the time comes. Are you trying to say the Progasm is not a correct tool? Aneros are designed specifically for prostate stimulation and prostate health. Ergo, any Aneros is a correct tool. Perhaps your eyeballs are bigger than your asshole. Hell!! Buy a Mr Swirly Dildo, and get back to us. Lol

@mdad Ok finally a thread i can weigh in on. My view is yes you will get some good sensations from using a dildo on yourself. Will you orgasm from them IDK. In my experience I can never really reach my gspot that well...however a partner can reach it and stimulate it perfectly manually or with his penis. I would venture to say it will be the same for you and if you use a dildo on yourself, or have your wife peg you. Have you ever wondered if maybe her desire for it isnt high because she hasnt tried it??? She may grow a desire for it if she is drilling you right and she sees the bliss you are in....just a thought.

Bottom line, yes it will be different, you are able to surrender to your sensations during a good pegging, where as if you have to manipulate the device you will have to use some of your focus for that. Not only that you'll have your wife there. You can touch her look at her kiss her etc....i would think she should add a lot to the sexual experience for you. Dont be so pessimistic about what you think she may or may not like...there are lots of things in life one starts out not liking then changes their mind. I'm a woman i can attest to how much a woman has mood swings or a change of opinion...use that to your advantage. Just about anything is possible with a woman if you get her aroused enough... Good luck!

Well, even before I broach the subject, I'd still like to practice first so it's not as painful. If it's anything like the first time I put my Progasm in, then I'll need to go slow! And if that pain is anything like what a woman has to go through for penetration with a bigger partner, then I have sympathy. Although... The pain was kind of nice... I kind of liked the struggle...

I definitely want my wife involved at some point. But I want to be better at it before I try it. If you say she will get turned on from watching me in pleasure, then I don't want her first time to be watching me in pain.

I'm thinking about something with a suction cup at the end. Maybe I can use that easier.

You should ask Ruby Ryder. She's the expert of all things related to pegging . If catch Canacan on the chat, talk to him. He is a wellspring of information.

@mdad lol....i would hope she would go slow with you and not try to rip you a new one. However yes I would suggest something with a suction cup...works great on a shower wall or floor (i have a few myself)...be imaginative. Yes I think you should get comfortable with toys that have a little more girth...it would make the process go easier, smart thinking. As far as pain with a larger partner...scroll down and read the post entitled Finally... it all boils down to relaxation regardless if it is a woman or a man. I never had pain anally or vaginally unless somebody was an asshole and had no regard for me...but then again all of that boils down to state of arousal and relaxation. Let us know how it turns out! I'm sure you'll have more fun than you bargained for.

@mdad
You should read the Pegging thread, and you should go to Ruby Ryder's website. She recommends starting out with something reasonably sized (6" long by 1.25 in diameter- no larger). And if a man has more difficulty
opening to accept a toy, 5.5" by 1". But nothing shorter than a 5.5" or 6".

There was a thread recently started by Love_is, I believe, about training your sphincter to relax and open.

Do it by gently making love to your hole with the dildo, teasing it to accept and open. It might take multiple sessions before it is persuaded. You want it to start recognizing that it will receive pleasure not pain by this big thing.

Darwin

@devajones: Holy crap. Did you write that? It was one of the most erotic things I've ever read.

Start slow. Check. Definitely going to do that. Can't wait to try. And I promise, I won't underestimate my wife! If it feels good, I'll definitely get her to peg me for real.

@darwin: Good point. I think it will be pretty easy to get myself to accept it. I already experience prostate pleasure, so I think my mind will cooperate!

@Pspotsquirter: Thanks for tips.

I am interested in this. Not sure how to get sweetie interested. Getting all the right things aligned.

@devajones is right under the right conditions a woman will do just about anything.

@mdad...yes I did....and its not fiction either. Keep tabs on my blog as I recently did some pegging. I have a pegging fantasy going up today...later will be the real pegging story. I truly appreciate your compliments, I dont take them lightly as I'm overly critical of my own writing. I'm glad to hear that you are venturing out and exploring things that you most likely will find pleasurable (especially if you already find your aneros use pleasurable).

@xtimedt69 you are definitely right about that. I think most men forget it is totally about presentation when it comes to a woman. Yes there are those women like me who have learned to look over how something may be presented by a man she cares deeply for (meaning we let the petty things slide with those we love). However I feel most women have not yet learned how to see past what may be an inadequate presentation of a topic to see what the guy is really trying to say. So I'm saying all that to say if you are wondering how to get your "sweetie" interested it is best to take into account what type of relationship you already have. Are you two already pretty outgoing sexually. Is she shy, are you? Has she ever done anything that you swore she would not do and surprised you by doing just that? Or does she hold true to what you expect of her? Once you have those answers you have a better handle on how to approach the topic. For instance if you two are pretty open sexually and outgoing, then keep the same mindset when talking about it. However dont forget to express that you want nothing more than to experience this with her, and that you feel it will strengthen your relationship. If she is shy or timid you will have to do the same thing, but it will require you to be much more sensitive to her needs and concerns. Bottom line though if men just made sure their women were satisfied beyond belief there isnt much we wont say yes to. For a second imagine that your woman wants for nothing sexually and you both get everything you want in each sexual experience you have together....do you really think she will tell you outright no if you have been making her blow a gasket every time you two get frisky??? Only women who truly lack compassion for you, or are totally unappreciative of what you bring to the relationship do that. Oh and yes you have to bring it outside of the bedroom as well....if we are frustrated outside the bedroom you likely wont get to the bedroom to begin with.

Anybody that wants to ask me anything in a more private setting feel free to send me a message here...i'll get back to you promise, no question is too dumb lol.

@devajones

Ohoh ! Finally did it?

@devajones My wife a has done some AMAZINGLY hot things in out marriage.

She is not shy per se, but she will NEVER suggest anything. It is not because of me. I have encouraged her she won't, not even a restaurant. She has a Rabbit vibe and that is the only one she wants and no matter what others I show here not interested.

If I play with her G-Spot and just do it for her, she will make me stop after a few minutes. If I play with her G-Spot while she is going down on me, she will have a writhing orgasm.

If I ask her to suggest something, she will say "that is your job and you are good at it."

However, no matter how it is presented, she has no interest in ass play. She once agreed to try, I went slow, slow, slow, it was going to me ONLY the smallest but plug I could find, when it finally slipped in you would have thought I had shoved a tree in there. Afterward she said well, I guess we know that is off limits so I never brought it up again.

We have been married 24 years, we have intimate time every evening before bed. I brought up pegging a couple of months ago and she listened. Last week I asked her about any new things she wanted to try and she said I am perfectly content, what do you want to try. I said I would like a Prostate Massage from a real woman, you, sometime, she Hm ... like a question Hm.

When we have sex she is very passionate and gets HOT!

I was telling another buddy on this forum in IM that I really have NOTHING to complain about at all. But all of my life I always wanted to experience as much of it as possible, in regular life and sexual life.

Crap I hijacked the thread, but you asked. And I typed to much to erase it sorry.

@xtimed69 I dont think you hijacked the thread. I like to think of it as @AneRico does, others will see this and read it so this could be beneficial info for them informational wise. Their situation may be similar to yours. You are still on topic so I dont see a problem. Plus this may benefit @mdad when the time comes for him if he so chooses to include his wife. I'm glad that you are happy with you marriage and love life that is great to hear. That only makes your pegging chances better. You may have been going slow but I'm willing to bet you weren't quite relaxed enough. I've had the same dilemma where I was using a small butt plug and it seemed huge and maybe not so comfortable. I remedied this by taking time (maybe a couple times a week or so) to really make love to my ass. Meaning caressing it, playing with it manually, etc until I was able to easily relax into anal play allowing my sphincter to open more readily. I would definitely give that a shot before you try any sort of pegging or using any other anal toys.

I'm so happy that you were able to bring this topic up with your wife. So many men on here are married and refuse...or are too scared to bring these topics up with women they chose to spend the rest of their lives with. I'm happy that you have open communication...just about everything sexual starts there in my opinion. It is a GREAT sign that she is interested in what you would like to try. If she wasnt she would not have asked to begin with.

As far as your wife not really wanting the focus to be on her alone...I know women like that. Sometimes if they are doing something to you or for you at the same time its easier to just relax and go with it. You are busying your mind with something while receiving pleasure. It used to be hard for me to simply lie back and get pleasure I've gotten better though, women's minds get the best of us sometimes. Often we are thinking about the craziest things and being overly self conscious with a man that obviously finds us attractive. We are often think of our flaws and how you might be taking note of them, when usually thats not the case. I dont know if thats the case with your wife, but that was a hurdle for me.

I do think that your wife is perfectly fine with your leadership role in sexual suggestions. If I were you I would take that as a compliment. When a woman is fine with riding shotgun and letting you call the shots that means she is totally comfortable with your lead and the decisions you make. Lots of times women are put in decision making roles (not to say we cant wont or dont desire to make decisions i'm all for women's rights but follow me on this) but we are not really designed for that. Men are however, we will make the decisions we want or need to, but we tire of that and just want to relax into our natural femininity. That being said I think you can lead her into trying what you would like. She may have said ass play was off limits, but I wonder if that was out of concern for you. If it wasnt all that comfortable for you (which having a tree up one's bum does NOT sound comfortable lol) then she may have assumed you didnt want to continue with that anymore, or she may have not wanted to cause you any more pain or discomfort. Honestly I think the conversation you had about her massaging your prostate was a great one to have. I dont know how much of a reader you are but if you check out the post entitled Talk About Prostate Massage (scroll down a bit and you will see it), that may give you some ideas. After massaging my husbands prostate he was MUCH more open to any type of ass play and so was I for that matter.

Sounds like you two already have a lot of fun, and are primed to have even more fun. Congratulations on keeping your wife content (I know it is you that is doing that and nothing more...thats probably why she doesnt want too many toys...you are the best toy there is...lots of time we women are just not so good at vocalizing that to our men), let me know how the exploring goes it sounds HOT!!!!. Now who typed too much to erase???:-))

@devajones reread my post it was her with the small butt plug not me. 🙂

"She once agreed to try, I went slow, slow, slow, it was going to me ONLY the smallest but plug I could find, when it finally slipped in you would have thought I had shoved a tree in there"


I am completely comfortable with Aneros from Peridise to Progasm. :bz


But she has been willing to try quite a bit of other stuff, so I can't complain.

@xtimedt69 misread...correction noted.

I've always wanted to blindfold myself, then cuff my arms together and tie that to the bed posts while leaving a harness and a dildo next to me for my wife to come into the room. With my luck on the subject my wife would probably go to bed knowing I'd be trapped there and she would be able to get some rest.

I once brought it up to my wife but she didn't say anything. Sometimes, just sometimes I'd like to be the one not in control. A majority of my partners have always been submissive and even during all the awesome, kinky and raw sex I've partaken in I really, really would like to just be the one to sit for the ride.

A lil' OT but I'm going to listen to advice from others.

My wife and I got interested in pegging a couple of years before I got my first Aneros.

We started pegging after a session in the shower with her dildo. She had left it stuck to the shower wall and had forgotten it I guess. Or maybe she did it on purpose to get me interested? Either way we were planning on showering together and jumped in and saw it. All she said was "woopsie" with a devilish grin.

We started making out and one thing let to another and she backed up onto it and started humping it. I just backed off and watched which made her more excited. She cums shortly after that and then asks if I want to try. I said "Do you want me to try?" and she tells me she thinks it would be hot. So I grabbed some lube and gave it a spin. I was hooked from that first time even though it was painful I had the most intense orgasm ever while she stoked me and I humped the dildo.

I gradually loosened up and a few weeks later asked if she wanted to peg me. She jumped at the chance so she picks out and orders a strap-on and a week later she fucks me for the first time. She was hooked on pegging after than and so was I. She also wears a WeVibe now when she pegs me and usually cums multiple times. We've added to her(our?) dildo collection and I've tried all of them but the Vixen Creations VixSkin Mustang is my favorite. It's just right for girth and length and it's soft and comfortable.

With all that back story I much prefer using the dildo in the shower rather than pegging if all I want is to get off. I know exactly how I like it and it's much more difficult to hit those spots while getting pegged. But getting pegged is awesome too and I really enjoy it but because it really revs up the wife. She tells me she feels liberated and powerful when she fucks me. And her orgasms are so intense it's really hot for me too. We also have sex more than once a day for days after she pegs me, it's like a turbo button for her libido.

So for me pegging is great in the shower but I like my Progasm better. No super-O yet but I'm getting close after about a year now.

@AnerosWow curious, what position do you two usually use for pegging?

We usually switch up, either doggie or missionary.

I do cum faster using the dildo myself, but pegging I get to include my partner and the sessions are longer. She is really turn on sometimes and makes me suck her cock (strapon ) before.

Gotta say, I LIKED it. Better than solo, she hit the spot.

Well, I finally bought myself a dildo and used it. I found something about the same size as myself (gotta try it myself before ever suggesting anal to my wife, right?). I swear I've looked at myself every day for 40+ years, but this dildo looked HUGE. I can't believe that I look like THAT up close. Haha for a while I thought I made a mistake. Like, the tip won't go in, and I just wasted $30. In fact, the dildo is so squishy I couldn't keep it straight while pushing! But alas, amazingly, my butt took it after enough time. I was not gentle. I kept pushing for 10 minutes and made it go in there. I kind of liked the pain! And after the pain went away (about 30 minutes), I hit a very interesting transition between pain and pleasure, and it started to feel really good. My muscles seemed to like it, a lot. They gripped it, squeezed, spasmed, and tried to massage it. I didn't move it in and out, as I just wanted to get used to it, but rather, just kept it inserted and relaxed.

Overall, it was awesome and I quite enjoyed it. Once I can handle the girth easier, I'll try using the suction cup and really going at it.

After I took it out, I felt stimulation all night long. I couldn't stop tingling and spasming. My butt was craving it the entire night. I already want it back in there! Wow. I'll have to pace myself, though, as I'm a little sore. 🙂 But I'm STILL tingling 12 hours later.

So step 1 of my solo pegging project is complete! Without a doubt, it was better than I expected. I will definitely be mentioning this to my wife! Step 2 involves me actually moving it back an forth, an using the suction cup. I can't wait.

Cheers!

@mdad glad to see your progress. I'm definitely glad to hear that you enjoyed it. Just do me a favor next time....be gentle...I know you may have liked the pain but ummmm honestly I think the pain and later soreness may be a signal from your body. I think you are ok, but I dont think you want to do any damage either. Just a thought, but keep us updated sounds like you are having fun!!!

@devajones - haha OK. I'll be nicer to myself next time. To be fair, I think 6" girth is pretty big regardless... and it's gonna hurt. Makes me think it will be REALLY tough to ever suggest it to my wife. Curious, is the pain I felt getting the dildo in similar to the pain women have when taking a larger penis in vagina (or their first few times having sex)?

But yes, I really enjoyed it. I had a good mindset going in, and I was expecting to like it. Once I get used to it, it's suction cup time, and then, if all goes well, I'll get my wife on board! Perhaps with a model that stimulates her at the same time. One step at a time, though!

When you say 6" girth are you talking if you take a tape measure and go around the outside diameter it measures 6" in circumference? So the diameter is about 2"??? If so wow you like them pretty thick/big!!! Whats the length by the way? lol nothing wrong with that I might add. I'll say more on this in a minute I'd like to get to your question.

When losing my virginity yes it was painful and bloody (I had a guy that had NO clue what he was doing, if I'd chosen better I think it would have gone better). Not all women experience pain when losing their virginity however, my bestfriend had a great partner she experienced no pain or blood. As far as taking a larger penis, vaginally...if the mind is in the right place and we are really turned on and sufficiently wet...no pain, unless he has an impressive length and ends up getting close to the cervix maybe reaching it. That rarely happens due to the cervix ascending due to arousal to "make room" I call it. Anally I took a penis the girth you are referring to (my husbands), it took a while to work up to that size, it did not hurt but we took it SLOW and GENTLE and I was very aroused dripping actually. Anally yes it can hurt very easily, even now if i'm not careful with my ass even if the implement is small it can and will hurt.

I have a serious question...are you dead set on using a dildo that is so big? (once again this is if I am not misunderstanding your measurements if I am please correct me) If you are willing to step the size down some, get something a little firmer (i can tell you now pegging wont work with a floppy unit...for the same reason penetrative sex doesnt work with a non erect penis), then maybe you wont be so intimidated. You've mentioned it being tough to mention it to her before...may I ask is it something you think she would be resistant to or a hangup you have? Or is it that you are more in control when you use a dildo, and you wont be in control if she pegs you? You kind of hinted at the pain aspect of it in this thread previously is that it? Or something else completely???

I'm so glad that you are moving forward I cant say that enough. Great job so far. I would like to point you in the direction of @xtimedt69 he's recently had a pegging and probably can help. Also if you have not read the thread Make Love to Yourself? started by @ineverknew its a great thread that talks about guys taking time to slow down and seduce themselves I think that might help a lot with you not having anymore pain. I just want you to understand its not really the size...its how you approach the size. If you approach it properly you shouldnt have any pain only pleasure. If you want anymore pointers on how to take it just let me know!!!

> If you are willing to step the size down some, get something a little firmer (i can tell you now pegging wont work with a floppy unit...for the same reason penetrative sex doesnt work with a non erect penis), then maybe you wont be so intimidated.


I'm not dead set on any size, but I did kind of like it. I wouldn't say intimidated is the right word. Surprised, might be better. I just didn't expect it to look so, um, big, up close. I don't FEEL that big when I look down at it. But, I mean, YOU took something that size, so I should be able to, right?


I think I did waste money on the dildo, though. It is too floppy. That made it harder to get in, actually, because I had to keep the whole thing stable while going in, which meant I had to hold the whole thing at once to prevent it from bending.


> You've mentioned it being tough to mention it to her before...may I ask is it something you think she would be resistant to or a hangup you have?


My wife would do anything I asked. Just as I would, for her. I doubt she'd flatly refuse me if I asked her. It's more that I don't think she'd be into it, and if she isn't, then it's not as fun for me. Perhaps she'll come around to like it, but I don't think she has any domination/role-reversal fantasies at all. She has never hinted that it would be something that she'd like, even after a little prodding from me. So yes, I think she'd go along with it, but no, I'm not sure she'll care. Without enthusiasm, I don't care that much either. I love having sex with her, and I don't NEED this to be complete or fulfilled. It's more of a "fun to try" kind of thing. I might feel different once I get used to it, and start pegging myself, however! First things first, though. 🙂