On the soap box

OK, let me be up front about this, I don't even technically own an Aneros yet, I've bought one, but it hasn't arrive yet. So, why I am I posting anything here? Well, because I finally got so livid reading that I basically couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

First and foremost, lets all keep in mind that the Aneros is, at best, nothing more than a sex toy, albeit a particularly specialized kind of sex toy. That's why I bought one, and I hope that's why everyone else who made a similar decision did so too.

Given that, what's under my skin is all the back and forth moaning and groaning about how well this thing works, or doesn’t work. I may add my two cents about that at some point in the future, but at least I hope that it will be constructive.

After having made the decision to purchase an Aneros (and yes, at roughly $50, it's a little steep for a sex toy), I came here looking for information about its use. No, I didn't buy it here, and no I'm no where near a virgin when it comes to sexual stimulation involving my anus or prostate.

I discovered a long time ago that regardless of whether you're male or female, and regardless of the physical gender of your partner, having your prostate stimulated can be a VERY good thing. When I stumbled across a toy that claims to be able to stimulate the prostate in "that" way, it got my immediate attention. However, there are three very big things in that:

1. I accept the claims as just that, claims. How many of you have had the experience of hearing that so-and-so is the best lay in town, only to find out, personally, that so-and-so is about as boring as a bad novel when it comes to anything sexual?
2. I already know that I like having my prostate stimulated; by whatever means.
3. Given 1 and 2, I'm willing to risk a little bit of green to find out how this particular toy works for me.

All of disparaging comments along the lines of "imagine that, it didn't work after X tries", and all of the overly encouraging comments along the lines of "just keep at it" are just a little more than a little over the top. Come on! We're talking about sex for recreation here, not a life commitment.

If I hadn't liked it the first time someone played with my anus, I'd have never let it happen again nor discovered the joys of being bisexual. That would have been a real shame. But, I did like it the first time, I didn't have to try over and over to like it, I just did. A continuous chorus of of folks in my ear going "keep at it" wouldn't have helped.

Where is that acceptance here? Some of us like this, others don't. I wouldn't fault anyone for trying, but after a while, isn't it time to say, "This isn't for me?" Similarly, why all the derision about people who think this is for them (they bought one), but don't enjoy the reality?

I'll be frank; I like the type of stimulation that this product claims to provide. There are even times that I crave it, but I have never been able to get all the way off on just prostate stimulation alone. So, why'd I buy one? How about because even though I know I've never achieved a completely "prostate" centered orgasm, the feeling provided by this typ of stimulation is still mighty fine. If the Aneros comes even close to what I can do with my own fingers, I'll be very happy. If it approaches what I know another person can cause me to feel, then it’s the best $50 I ever spent on myself. If it goes beyond that, well, that's just gravy. But as I say that, remember: a) I already know I like this type of stimulation; b) I already know something about my body; c) my expectations are low.

Does all of that mean that I rule out the experience of the "non-ejaculatory" orgasm? No. It just means that I approach this with an open mind and with real knowledge of my own body.

For those of you are thinking about trying one of these things, that's the real key. Know your body. Know what you're looking for. If you haven't tried stimulating your prostate with your own finger (which I might add is free) this isn't for you until you've tried and figured out that you like or don't like what you feel. (If you're really lucky, you'll get a partner to help you out.)

For those of you have one, and feel the need too post here, why not share with us the actual details of what made it "work"? Simply reading over and over again that it took me X years or a million tries before I got it, doesn't help. What did you do differently the first time it worked? What separated that time from all the rest (BEFORE you had your world rocked)? Those are the things that it would help to share.

And lastly, the derisive comments about folks who haven’t gotten there are just uncalled for. They’re about as just as my deriding all the strictly heterosexual or homosexual men I know who wouldn’t consider a sexual encounter with a guy or girl, respectively. Some of those people's attitudes are socialization, some of are personal taste. Either way, it’s not my call, and I’m not going to belittle someone for trying something only to find that it doesn’t work for them. Again, what happened to the acceptance or the gentle, "Maybe it's time to stop now."

Peace,

Kevin

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