Need some help with sexual frustration

Having read a lot of the (70 odd) discussions you've started, you appear to be asking the same question with different words. You also tend to answer some of your own questions, "I know I shouldn't but.."

I reckon the problem is not between your legs but between your ears. I don't know you, of course, but (on this forum at least) you come across as having a rather egocentric persona. As a result you seem to want to 'take' what you want (in this case the super-o) rather than have it given.

I don't want this comment to appear like a personal attack but you need to be told. Sometimes people don't get what they want. Some things you can fight for, or save up for, or steal, or make yourself, but this... This is different, there's only one way to get it. You have to have the right mindset.

I don't profess to have the knowledge to help you with it, but that's where your problem lies.

Bunk, I know of my shortcomings and I've listened to advice and the majority has been amazing and moved me forward.

I've have not made many threads recently, this thread is one that I really need help in understanding, this is, as you pointed out, an issue for 'between my ears'

I am aware of everything you have said, so thank you. Did you miss the threads (quite long ago) in which I stated I am having great success in my sessions? I am no longer as frustrated, now that the rewiring is underway.

I call upon those willing to help me as much as possible in this matter, I have never asked this question before and I feel it could be of benefit to others as well.

@inhope, have you thought of masturbating before a session? Maybe a couple of hours beforehand and you wont feel the need to finish after a session.

Echoing Bunk's two cents.I use the chatroom these days for advice rather than making a topic - the added benefit being the conversation flows openly, which I think would benefit you in terms of getting things off your chest. (Rather than waiting for replies)


In regards to sexual frustration, are you sure what you experienced here --
In fact every session i have (bar the occasional dud) i feel a very, very strong build up, warm-electric feelings in my prostate and penis, mild orgasmic 'like' feelings and things that feel like I'm about to orgasm in a massive way (see my other thread re: huge build up). What happens though is that after some time of this, usually around 30 mins max, those feelings stop, totally.

— wasn't an orgasm in itself? Keep in mind that orgasms you experience with the dick and body are different; if the dick is involved, you will get a sense of release. (This can be a Dry-O as well) If it's a full-body orgasm, the sensations linger a lot more.

Nonetheless, stressful arousal will dawdle for a day or two after achieving new heights — and/or if you are needy for orgasms. It's important to keep the Aneros and orgasms as a side-activity, and off the mind when focusing on everything else during the day. It sounds patronising, but there have been moments where I was relieved to be stressed by some project, or out with friends — otherwise I'd be getting angst over wanting to unload the massive build-up of arousal.

Thanks DE. Chat is good but it means hanging around for long periods which I'm not always able to do. As i have stated, i have not made lots of threads recently.

One thing i want to add is this. In the past, I'm talking 8 years possibly, the threads i made up until recently were out of anger and frustration at feeling nothing at all. Not even a hint of feeling, despite following the wiki, advice from others and trying to find my 'own path'.

Then one day it all changes, mainly because i buy the peredise and i think it somehow triggers a neural pathway in some way by making a connection that the use of the device is one of subtlety (yes, you heard me right, i did say this!)

So since that day (at some point last year) i have been much more focused, much less angry and far more determined.

Yes I'm sure it wasn't an orgasm, at least not not a dry orgasm in the sense of it being comparable to anything described by any individual here or on the wiki, or even on google. It could be a continuos mini orgasm, but from what i have learned in my tenure here the build-ups i get could be described as P-Waves and pleasable feelings associated with just the experience of using the device. Just recently i read of a person experiencing the same sort of build-up and feelings in every session and then one day they orgasm.

This often takes the person by surprise whom like you asserted that they have been experiencing orgasms all along. So i sort of know what I'm aiming for, and once again what i experience is nice but i feel there is more, i have felt this 'more' as well, if only briefly, on two occasions.

It also doesn't explain why i remain so seriously, over-aroused and almost uncontrollably so. I oft read of 'sexual frenzy' used to describe how you achieve an orgasm using the aneros, this frenzy always appears post session for me, or rather after the prostate seems to 'go to sleep', i.e. the most intense *mental* part of the experience.

This mental part is what i need help in dealing with without resorting to ejaculation.

Chat doesn't take long — if you have to respond to most topics with your smartphone whilst out and about I can understand, otherwise, just leave it running if you're away from the keyboard.

Your explanation of build-up largely matches up with mine even during big orgasms (like I had last night): you are having some, they are just weak for the time being. The fact you are seriously aroused afterwards is typically a result of big sensations/developments — at least for me.

Moreover, you are trying to objectively state you haven't had something based on subjective descriptions. That's like having a near-death experience and saying it couldn't of been heaven because, man, where were the white clouds? Legendary people? Why no happy feelings!?
Progress has been slow for you, and I can see how that is tough, but trying to deconstruct and question every step does not push you forwards any quicker. But I am glad, all the same, to see you getting there.

@ineverknew
yes i have done this, it effects the arousal level which means my sessions will be poor usually.

@DarkEngine

The comment that you have used the near death experience in reference to orgasm.... Like i said it could be, but going on what information i have, which is a better place to base an idea/conclusion on than nothing.

However if it is an orgasm and it is weak then this is the first I've heard of this. Why do you think its weak and will get stronger? what makes you draw that particular conclusion? you liken it to a big development/sensations of your own, so are you telling me here you would then masturbate when you were in a frenzy? or did you have a method for dealing with it? I'm amazed anyone can if they experience anything like the feelings of arousal i get, its totally off the charts.

I'm not deconstructing anything of my sessions, at least not anymore. I am asking for help in regard to controlling the need to masturbate because of a level of sexual frenzy. I guess a cold shower really is the answer.

@inhope, its really mind of matter. Tell yourself you not going to masturbate after a session and follow through with it. Just keep in mind what you are seeking. I'm sure its a let down when you do pop the cork after a session, and for good reason. That let down is telling yourself that your not following through with YOUR own plan. Stick to your guns and promise yourself you wont let that happen. Keep your sessions and masturbation seperate.

Yes a real let down, I am even aware of this when I choose to masturbate. It's defintly a choice but it's hard to abstain. Imagine being right on the plateau of orgasm, horniness is so high your heart feels like exploding and your thoughts are so strong of that kind of feeling that it takes all your willpower to overcome. That's how tough it can get!

oh trust me I know. Finishing off sessions with a TO has happened so many times I have unwired myself. At least thats what I think is going on. Its tough but something that just has to be some other time. I am finally getting back to where I feel I need to be, but it will take more time.

Really? Now that's interesting because I thought it wasn't possible to unwire?

How are you not pissed at yourself for giving in and unwiring yourself as you say?

I have to agree with @ineverknew. The Super T or regular ejaculation after a session are detrimental to most. IMO once rewiring begins, it either goes good or bad, or stagnates. Once rewired, one gets what one gets (take it or leave it).

@inhope said, Really? Now that's interesting because I thought it wasn't possible to unwire?

I'm not sure it is possible. But (sorry to get bogged down in Aneros-speak) to un-wire first you have to re-wire.
I have succumbed to the temptation with no detrimental effect after re-wiring.

So bunk, would you say you regularly masturbate after sessions with no detriment to your aneros sessions?

I'm not fully rewired but I know on the way, judging by what I feel in each session. This is why I need some focus to stop the temptation because of sexual frustration of being on the 'edge' off something because i get so sexually energised in each session.

yes i am pissed at myself. I'm not sure I was fully rewired but I had dry orgasms going on and a couple super O's, now I get none of those, just pleasureable feelings. dunno

So what changed then for you? What were you doing then that worked for you that you're not doing now.

nothing changed that I know of. Just stopped getting orgasms.

Something has changed, it must have. Physically or mentally, I am convinced if you have orgasmed before you can again. Find the reasons and work it out.

also I think unwiring is bullsh!t too or everytime you have sex it's unwiring you, I ain't stopping having sex and if anything it's enhanced things massively having orgasms from sex. Just the other week I had an anerosless super t from a blowjob, it was so intense and It lasted 3 times longer than any other orgasm.

I also masturbated a few days later and when I came it was so deep and intense that I was drooling, i almost fainted! My sessions, unlike what seems verbatim in these hallowed forums, fluctuate in success. They are intense and amazing one month and then 'alright' the next, the once again they're intense. It's about finding new techniques and keeping each session interesting.

What i think could be a possibility for your lack of orgasming that your current Devices arnt as effective as they once were, try a new one? I found the peredise to be 100% effective in my sessions every time, the sgx/mgx/eupho were useless.

Guess what? All of a sudden the eupho and sgx are amazing and the peredise is now useless! It changes from month to month, so if you havnt already try a new / different device each session and see if one works more than the other, even one you have resigned to be 'useless'

no I dont think traditional sex or even masturbation will unwire you. Its only detrimental when you traditionaly orgasm during aneros use or at the end. It keeps reinforcing the traditional orgasm IMO. I have almost every device and recently purchased the progasm jr which does seem to feel better. I usually switch things up from time to time. I think for me its all the mental aspect. Once I can get that figured out things should start working again and of course abstaining from TO's at the end of sessions lol.

I also think ending on a TO wont unwire anything either, so many people here do that, all the decent aneros vids I've seen (the proper ones, not the stupid wanking with an aneros in vids) shows ending with TO's.

It's not the TO's that are stopping you here you're right, it's the mental aspect that needs work or possibly the devices being used as well.

In one ear and out the other.

Oh @Bunk, you've not said my mother was a water buffalo or my dog was my girlfriend, so its not going to be pistols at ten paces. Forgive me however you moderators out there, if i now slightly lose my rag and adopt a little of my fellow posters acerbic nature.

Bunk I've sort of grown a particular fondness for your condescension, I'm not sure exactly why, perhaps it reminds me that none of us are perfect, we're all a 'work in progress'

For that reason, I actually think you're pretty neat.

If you have a point of contention over what I've said, then please do elaborate. If one of these points is my most recent one regarding traditional orgasms there here is some more info behind that conclusion:

There was a thread a long while back, perhaps before your time here? anyway in this thread it talked about if ending a session with a traditional orgasm would in some way hinder or 'unwire' a person learning to rewire. It was agreed by all that participated (from what my memory recalls) that it does not unwire or hurt progress as long as you are mentally aware of what is happening and that you are not expecting instant gratification from normal aneros sessions like you would from just having a traditional orgasm.

So, some of the best instructional/educational videos have shown both super o's and then at the end of the session a TO. Evidence that both are indeed possible and seem to be common for a great deal of users.

I do feel however that after a number of years experience you are more able to separate both types of 'readiness' (MMO horney and just wanting an instant relief/traditional orgasm -taken from the wiki) then you're safe to achieve both in the same session.

If there is some other issue you wish to discuss, especially those of a personal nature regarding myself then hey, use that PM and lets chat about things.

Take it easy brother, this is indeed a wonderful journey. >:D<

What changed for me is that once I knew what it could feel like I made having a super-O my goal. And you can't force these things. Just like the "there is no edge" thing, there's also the "there is no goal" thing.

You can't go chasing after orgasms you just have to be in the moment and watch and let things happen.

Correct, for me this is also true but it is different in how it manifested itself.

For 10 years I've been trying but for 9 of those years i felt nothing in my prostate, nothing. So all the advice i was given, valid though it was, was from the notion that I could feel something in the prostate with the aneros, even something small.

I. could. not. feel. a. thing.

Until one day in the 9th year of trying I bought a peredise set and immediately i felt something in my prostate. That was the day things changed. What it allowed me to see was something to aim for, something to anchor my attention whereas before i had nothing, i was 'blind'

Then all the advice I was given in those years previous to this became useful to me, I'm still playing catch up! So IMO rewiring can take years, as it did for me. It's rare, but it happens (there are two other users here that have pretty much had the same journey I've had)

For me though, and unlike so many others, each session is not an improvement on the last, it seems to be quite the mountainous peaks and troughs.

One thing i can say is that I've experienced amazing things and i know there is more.