Naughty wife loving my journey.

@helghast Same here, with all the talk about throbbing penises leaking precum and guys putting all kind of devices in their ass, I still never associated prostate play with homosexuality. I guess if I ever had any hang ups about the subject, they're long gone and I feel everything we talk about is mostly sexual-orientation neutral. The submissive aspect is the real sticking point here but I think you and your wife are approaching this the right way. Keep us posted ! 

@helghast, in reference to our previous conversation, you definitely are extremely fortunate to have your wife fully involved in your sexual pleasures and seeking ways to escalate things to the next level as a couple. 

While  reading your post, I try to imagine the scenario in our bedroom and it's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Thanks for sharing; not many members are willing to open up the way you do.  My hat's off to you both!

Yes, surely you will end up liking being pegged. You are already taking part in submissive behavior by letting yourself cum while your partner stimulates your nipples and anus, without touching your penis.  This is about submission: submission to your own  pleasure (instead of holding back and remaining stoic), and now submission to that pleasure under the gaze and the hands and mouth of your partner.  The hardest part is now behind you (*perverted laughter*), because submission to pleasure (in a sense, rewiring) is much more difficult than simply accepting being physically penetrated as a straight man.  And the sooner you get over your hang ups, the sooner you can pay attention to how good it all feels.  I have faith that soon you will be riding that dildo like a champ.

...or... 

Once again, maybe like me you’ll find that what many consider foreplay is actually what you like the best.  Touching, licking, pinching, stroking, smells, sounds, connection, all while you do aless in a second nature sort of way, or with a toy in.  

Ancient Romans would sometimes blow their slaves, because they perceived the person receiving a blowjob as being passive. This is even portrayed in the HBO serial "Rome", where a young patrician woman casually mentions she smoked some weed and blew a few slaves at an orgy.

If you follow this logic, active approach to oral sex is facefuck or facesitting.

On the other hand, there was a death penalty for the legionnaires who let themselves be penetrated. The same as desertion... am I making it worse?

I like taking turns in sex. It's completely normal to rest for a bit when you've been sweating to please your partner. You don't have to pull all the weight all the time, that would be exploitation. I mean, I come much faster in 69 than from a typical blowjob, but then I do a bad job at licking pussy.

I think @airbag Is trying to say that sexual acts and there connection to sexual orientation are completely arbitrary, as they change from place to place and time to time.

Posted by: @ggringo

Thanks for sharing; not many members are willing to open up the way you do.  My hat's off to you both!

Thanks a ton again, @Helghast, and many thanks to the other posters for your contributions too. You all didn‘t leave much to add for me without repetition. 

One thought about homophobia. I believe, there are fears so deeply settled in our subconsciousness by our cultural imprint and still remaining their power, no matter whether you already feel accustomed to have gay friends and truly think you have left such a fear behind you or not, that you actually have to do more to really overcome these hidden obstacles. Perhaps it might help to find a mantra similar to my “I will do myself no harm.” which I needed years ago to get rid of my own subconscious fears about losing control during my early sessions?

Another thought is more practically orientated. Accustomed to insert bigger objects like my mother’s simple plastic dildo already in my teenage years up to realistic dildos in my late twenties I thought I would have already been properly prepared for my first real one. But(t) looking back I‘d love to have a photo of the wide eyes I really have made when I finally got deflowered. What I try to say is, it might be a good idea to become attuned to a similar size close to that pegging dildo first. I have one realistic wobbly friend that can be attached to the shower wall and from time to time I love to give myself a ride. Following your mindset this is still self-love and nothing homosexual or bisexual. Feeling bisexual myself I don‘t hold back and let my fantasies be wholly homosexual. Funny enough I guess I’d have more reservations regarding my wife pegging me than against getting laid by a man. Nevertheless I only liked to suggest the idea to get accustomed to riding a dildo before you let your wife take the lead. 

After all and wherever your journey will take you both, don’t stop to feel happy and thankful to have found such an exceptional wonderful partner! And to stick to your wife‘s dirty talk I can tell [explicit!] ...

... that my butt hole is itching and my butt cleft is wet from anticipation of your next enviable experiences. 

Good vibes and joyful experiences for you both! Mart

@helghast wonderful stuff there!  You are indeed fortunate to have your lady on board and so involved now!  Pegging does indeed seem like a big step but there are little steps you can take before, with her fingers giving you a massage, ramping up to small dildos before actually getting to the strapon.   Have you read The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian? 

Posted by: @helghast

 Her main driver is a strap on will make things hands free for her. She is also enjoying the role reversal aswell,having fun being a little more dominant. 

Do you realize how rare such an offer is especially coming from a loving spouse?  You're living what is a dream or a collection of fantasies for some males.  Some act on such fantasies by paying someone else to execute.

The way I see it is that so far, as a man, you've already exploited sexual peasures way beyond basic penile play and have enjoyed the results to the point where it changed your life (assumption on my part).   You admitted that your better half's involvement escalated the intimacy in your relationship so why not continue to 'plow' ahead seeking the potential unknown pleasures without reservation?  After all, this is not a life commitment as you can always reverse course if it's not to your liking.

Maybe I'm oversimplifying this topic but I know how long it would take me to grab my wife's hand along with the strap-on and head to the fun room.

Hopefully we'll get to read the next chapter.

Posted by: @helghast

I guess it’s my male ego that’s doing the worrying.

@Helghast, considering your so openly disclosed perspective, I now would better like to backpedal with my first views and tend more to @ggringo ‘s recommendations including his „Just Do It!(R)“ concept. 🙂

If you‘re furthermore interested to awake your submissive side and you don‘t feel afraid of some hypnosis by a woman‘s voice, I can recommend my „online domina“ Shibby. Her hypnotic sound files taught me to really let go and let someone else, in my case meaning my prostate, take over. Here you can find more information if you like. I‘m still fascinated how - with one hypnosis - she‘s been able to change my gender to female and back, what enabled a level of empathy with women I‘d never thought to become capable of. Only watching a woman stimulating herself now lets me envision creating the same feelings in my body and lets me orgasm along with her. 

To give you an idea ... „Putting A Slut Inside You“
[35 minutes audio file - NSFW at all! - Best listened with in-ear-phones.]

Hello pet. Have you been feeling the weight of the world recently, pet? Are you looking for an escape? I have a delicious one planned for you today. I'm going to help you take all those worries, all those cares, and store them away. I'm going to help you be... free. I'll take you to a place where all that matters is you and me. Of course I feel you could be a bit prettier. A bit girlier. A bit... sluttier. So I'm going to transform you into a slutty girl. And then I'm going to fuck your brains out- with your own cock.

My „Tao Guru“ Mantak Chia has written „The Multi-Orgasmic Woman“ and  „The Multi-Orgasmic Couple“ too, which also might be of interest to you both. 

After all thanks to your open report about your exemplary trustful inclusion of your partner you got the ball rolling and helped me - at long last - to speak out to my wife about my acquirement of my learned multi-orgasmic skills. Thanks a ton to you and your partner, @Helghast! While having had a wonderful dinner for two and some wine to loosen the tongue I have found myself in a subtle orgasm from enjoying our delicious dish and connecting to her and thus I have begun telling her about reading Mantak Chia‘s „The Multi-Orgasmic Man“ and finally have found myself amazed how freely I could rattle on and answer her surprisingly intrigued questions. I believe this has been a milestone for us two.

Good vibes to you all, life can be so wonderful, if you sometimes Just Do It! Mart 🙂

divine_oblivion summed it up about right.

Another way to put it is that stereotypical heterosexual males are both dominant and submissive. Somehow the conservative culture glorifies being passive in oral sex. There's an inherent contradiction. Many women who love blowjobs do it for the feeling of being in power.

I don't care much how people define me and my sexuality. I mean I live in a very conservative country, so I keep it to myself or I could get into trouble in work etc, and they would fabricate an excuse. After the authoritarian turn bigots got emboldened. But I don't let their mental limitations limit what I think about myself.

Depending on mood, I enjoy both being active and passive. I'm naturally more attracted to women, but after licking enough pussy I got curious how does it feel different from playing with a someone's dick. I would happily do more of that if gay men weren't notorious for chemsex, anal sex without protection (the riskiest kind of sex when it comes to STD and AIDS), and general promiscuity. It would be better with a 'friend', but it's awkward asking a friend for something like that.

You seem to have a pretty narrow view that to be masculine you need to both only have sex with women AND only dominant sex. You can dominate men and women. You can be active or passive with a woman. I think being active or passive OUTSIDE sex has far more reaching consequences, and can be something to be ashamed of. When you dildo yourself with a handheld dildo or via kegel muscles, you're active as far as I'm concerned. Either way I think masturbation is a fun, harmless thing. Not something that should keep you up at night or produce guilt.

Posted by: @helghast

I’ve learned a lot from the many posts here too. It’s a learning curve for everyone.

Indeed it is, @helghast ! As you present yourself so open to new experiences, I‘d like to share one more of mine.

My next idea might sound too kinky to a lot of people, although crawling the web you also could think, everybody does it. I‘ve been taught this pleasure by a very sensitive man years ago. When caressing each other he kind of „moaned me“ from kissing his neck down his back. The lower my kisses went the louder he moaned until he had directed my tongue between his butt cheeks and towards his butt hole. On one hand he had the power to steer my kissing lips and my tongue with his moaning, on the other hand it felt like he was being penetrated and I was the giver and would take the dominant part. To make a long story short I can tell that his art of seduction led to one and a half hour of unforgettable impressions and experiences characterized by pure formerly unknown bliss and made me think

Nobody should die before ...
... having felt a tongue in one‘s but
and having given back this pleasure again.

Indeed it‘s only another cultural imprint to consider this sexual variety to be a gay one. As you can learn from beguiling Serena L. at hegre.com, a site for committed aesthetic pornography providing an educational section including tantra techniques, women can find as much pleasure in their bum as we men do. After all and after cleaned up thoroughly this special spot looses all its kinky connotations, leaving over a most sensual hot spot not standing back behind his counterpart. 

Finally getting one‘s sphincters licked is a wonderful „opener“ to anal penetration why it‘s the best foreplay for both parts. The passive person learns to trust the invader and to relax and open up for him or her and the giver learns how to care and make it as pleasureful as possible for the receiver.

Perhaps mutually caressing your butts also helps „your ego“ stop the „worrying“?

Btw. only the lots of educational tantra sessions - most delectable filmed in up to 4K - made my subscription a good value, not mentioning the total of 800 unique films and 300.000 photos by an exceptional artist, btw. actually at 50 % off - but no commission for me. 😉

Good vibes and pleasureful connecting experiences! 🙂 Mart

Posted by: @helghast

Thanks for the links again. I found a few comments from you in the site,you get around mart hee hee

You're welcome, but how on earth could you blow my cover? 😉

May I repeat what a uniquely blessed guy you are having such a wonderful wife at your side? 🙂

Cheers! Mart