My first dry O

That's really great. Awesome progress!
In my experience, communication with a SO can help facilitate growth: in your relationship with your wife, and in your progress with the aneros.

If you aren't already, I would suggest you read the book 'The multiorgasmic man' by Mantak chia. It gets mentioned on these forums quite a bit, but it really is a great book.

Everything in that book is complementary to your aneros progress. It also might help you satisfy you and your wife's desires more by teaching you techniques to be multiorgasmic in the context of conventional sex. This might make your wife feel more valuable because she feels like she can pleasure you more:) it will also help you pleasure her better too, so its a win win!

Just something to think about:)

I do have that book and must admit I became frustrated with it because I was never able to achieve a dry orgasm through masterbation. I think most of my anxieties stem from PTSD regarding sexual abuse issues rather than poor performance, as my wife often wishes I wouldn't take as long as I do already.

The thing is that it's very important to separate both sensations, orgasm and ejaculation, and recognize each excitation phase through them. There are some feelings that relate to ejaculation in each phase, the more you can separate those feelings from pleasure, the more you'll be able to hold them back when you reach orgasm. It feels like holding back on something good, but only in the beginning, later on you should have had reached much higher levels of orgasmic pleasure that will make it seem like a waste not holding back (and it is!). It becomes a natural part of you after some times and it just feels at most, like a small bump in the road when holding back ejaculation. You actually hold back a few seconds and then let go, other times when you're really inspired lol, you can reach orgasm without having to hold back on anything. Play with your breath, you'd be amazed to know how much it helps until you've really tried it. You need not only strong muscles but also a strong will at first, to not fall into ejaculation, later on it becomes a natural ability.

By the way, start peeing while standing on your toes, if you can relax enough to pee while holding that position, you can relax enough while having orgasm as to not ejaculate. This is because both movements are connected due to a bad habit of ejaculating every time you masturbate (tensing your legs while having an orgasm and ejaculating every time, which is better held back by relaxing as though you were peeing). That excercise will help you make those movements independent of each other, which will grant you more control over what happens (that is orgasm and not ejaculation).

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@JMay. Thanks for the tips. I'm going to keep trying. Tonight I practiced some tantric masterbation, very slow, took over an hour to climax and was practicing your suggestions. I was really relaxed and belly breathing, but when the orgasm hit the muscles involved contracted involuntarily and resulted in ejaculation. More to learn and more to practice I suppose.