Mental Preperation Before Sessions

No. I dont do anything to mentally prepare. There is no need if you trust yourself and trust the process.

Agree with @helghast

I realize @nat is not talking about arousal per se, so this part’s just for context.  This year, I’m questioning for myself the oft-advised need for “arousal” prior to internal play.

What I came to say is this.  The best for me, is when I have internal tingles, I use it as a signal it’s a good day to enjoy this sort of pleasure. I do not know what originates these tingles. But I do not try to initiate them. When I begin a session in that way, things build from there. 

@helical 

Feeling like I want to enjoy a session is normally good enough. Just as orgasm does not equal ejaculation, arousal does not necessarily mean erection. You can be excited for a variety of reasons and not hard. Otherwise, things would often be pretty embarrassing, hehe. 

Excited for that new job ? *Sproing!* Excited for that new action movie ? *Sproing!*. Etc. 

Posted by: @zentai

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Feeling like I want to enjoy a session is normally good enough.

Yes, @zentai, the simpler it is, the harder it seems to learn.

Similarly paradoxically, maybe that’s why it is difficult for vets to send  foolproof advice.  Once we’ve become used to what works, it becomes automatic in a way.  Like, in session, the relationship between feeling, relaxing into automatic responses and doing things which push pleasure along.

(Insert gratuitous “sproing” here)

We talked a bit about this already in this thread.  I find it a bit interesting and frustrating that the simplest of mental lapses can be the difference between results or no results.

Before I was relying way too much on porn, knowing I was desensitized, and still moving forward with it.  I finally decided to dump it off.  I haven't watched porn in close to 3 weeks now.  Not that I was an addict of sorts, but doing so has given me improvements in sessions - new sensations, getting hard faster, and so on.  

My issue has now been that it stops there.  With giving it a few days in between sessions, to doing it more frequently, I get nothing better or worse.  Having all this possible with zero arousal was kinda blown my mind.  But even when it comes to erotic visualizations, I have always struggled.

I'm trying to figure out the missing piece that will throw me over the cliff.  Putting myself in a position of letting go and trusting my body to do all the work has lead me here.  I know I am so close.  It is all that last mental aspect.

Posted by: @nat

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I find it a bit interesting and frustrating that the simplest of mental lapses can be the difference between results or no results.

This is a matter of belief and mental discipline. A lapse doesn’t mean the end at all.

Posted by: @nat

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Before I was relying way too much on porn, knowing I was desensitized, and still moving forward with it.  I finally decided to dump it off.  I haven't watched porn in close to 3 weeks now.  Not that I was an addict of sorts, but doing so has given me improvements in sessions - new sensations, getting hard faster, and so on.  

This tickled me if I’m honest. Desensitisation,reliance are improving sensitivity are all clear indicators of addiction. The best first step is admitting it to yourself. Theres a lot of things throughout the forum from different guys that they need to be honest about with themselves. Do another 3 weeks. And another after that and so on.

Posted by: @nat

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My issue has now been that it stops there.  With giving it a few days in between sessions, to doing it more frequently, I get nothing better or worse.  Having all this possible with zero arousal was kinda blown my mind.  But even when it comes to erotic visualizations, I have always struggled.

Plateaus are normal. It can take varying amounts of time to bust through. Try to manage the expectation,and laying siege to different times and spaces between sessions . Just leave a day between,unless they are short sessions,in which case you could practice everyday. The mind can zone in and out of fantasy. Let it,just bring your mind back to it when you refocus.

Posted by: @helghast

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Desensitisation,reliance are improving sensitivity are all clear indicators of addiction. The best first step is admitting it to yourself

There is a gray area there though...  That would be like saying someone who's alcohol tolerance has gone up is automatically an addict.  They might be well on their way to being one, but I don't think it is that cut and dry.  For me at least...  Porn was not creeping in my life in a way that it was affecting anything else I was doing.  It wasn't straining relationships with family/friends, it wasn't making me more isolated, causing me to miss any work, etc.

Posted by: @helghast

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Just leave a day between,unless they are short sessions,in which case you could practice everyday.

What is your definition of a short session?  I feel like my sessions are too short and maybe I'm not being patient enough. 

 My body more or less decides its time,  no prep needed mentally or physically. Often I log on here with know intention of having a session. And BAM, , there I am aless takes off.   I wonder why this thing is so hard for people. Being aroused planning arousal,  ,even sounds funny when I write it. And there it is.  How many times did one plan a jerk off session, I mean unless you have room mate constraints , or kids. Theres been days I've had 8 TO's. Didn't really plan , body just wanted it. No different with Aneros, theres no secret. Can't count the amount of times my body didn't have a super anything in mind. Or say jerked off and the orgasm was just meh. Hope this makes sense just writing as I think it. I think I had an apiphany. I'll have to come back and read this when I have time , I may or may not agree with what I just wrote. Gotta run looking forward to your comments,when I get back