Is abstinence the trick?

Is abstinence the trick?

Temporary abstinence has helped many older men increase their arousal levels (see Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence). High arousal levels (see Are you "aroused"?) are generally necessary to induce dry-O's with an Aneros device. Many men practice semen retention as a method for maintaining their arousal levels so they can regularly experience their multiple orgasmic Anerosessions without having to experience refractory periods and the subsequent drop in energy, mood and libido. For younger men the refractory period drawbacks may not be as severe but the need for high arousal levels to induce dry-O's via Aneros use is still present, temporal abstinence can help them as well.

Is withholding your orgasm the trick to having enjoyable sessions? Like just enjoy the ride for a while, then take it out and continue the next day without ever ejaculating?

IMHO, NO !, unless frustration is your objective! I think it is important to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. You can have multiple orgasms with your Aneros without ejaculating.

Letting your prostate get more and more engorged with fluid each time?

A man's prostate can only hold a finite amount of fluid, once the prostate reaches its full capacity the body will self regulate by either limiting/stopping production of prostate fluid, reabsorbing prostate fluid or draining the prostate via wet dreams or urinary leakage. Tease & Denial games may increase arousal levels but they may also set the user up for undesired ejaculatory orgasms (when using their Aneros devices). Finding the balance point between too much and not enough arousal is the tricky part for successful Aneros use leading to prostate orgasms. I'm in favor of employing prostate milking as a regulating activity to maintain an elevated arousal state and only employ ejaculatory orgasms on a monthly basis to maintain healthful prostate muscle function. Here are a few threads which discuss prostate milking -> Prostate Milking, A question about milking & Milking the prostate.
Good Vibes to You !

So you only ejaculate once per month?

@Spectre Your ejaculation frequency will be different from others (like myself). I am prone to "blue-balls" which limits my release to about once every 2 weeks maximum. Limiting ejaculations for me IMHO greatly enhances my Aneros sessions. This is the ultimate "separation" of penile-based orgasms and prostate-based orgasms! Give it a try if you are inclined; check out the 21-Day No Ejaculation Challenge on Aneros Forum and see how far you can go! Good luck to you!

without ever ejaculating?

[From Mantak_Chia_The_Multi-Orgasmic_Man]

The Taoist ideal is to ejaculate as infrequently as you can, but every man can and should refrain from ejaculating for a period of time suited to him. In the words of Su NU, "One must measure one's own strength and ejaculate accordingly. Anything else is simply force and foolishness." Your strength depends on your age, your health, your state of mind, and your willpower.

Sun Ssu-miao, one of the leading physicians of ancient China recommended that men attain good health and longevity by ejaculating twice a month, as long as they ate healthily and exercised. He also offered the following more specific guidelines.

A man at twenty can ejaculate once every fourdays.
A man at thirty can ejaculate once every eightdays.
A man at forty can ejaculate once every ten days.
A man at fifty can ejaculate once every twentydays.
A man at sixty should no longer ejaculate.

Hey, @Spectre, if you want to give semen retention (SR) a try, you can find a little more insight in the book I quoted above, in this post of mine and in the concerning thread as well as in my blog postings about my 40-days-challenge, beginning my reports on Day 28 of my 2nd SR-Challenge. Indeed I made it and have been lucky to celebrate
Day 41 of my 2nd SR-Challenge: Ending with SR by cumming from old fashioned masturbation.
To me it truly has been a big step forward on my journey to learn separating orgasms from ejaculations this way.

Therefore I only can recommend to everyone to at least try SR once.

Good vibes!

So you only ejaculate once per month?

Once or twice a month.

But orgasming mostly every day and multiple times a day, if not a whole day long for a day off.

Yeehaaw! 😎

So you only ejaculate once per month?

Yes, sometimes even going longer but I do a 'milking' about every 7-10 days depending on mood and degree of vasocongestion. As @SOwithoutAneros pointed out, in terms of Taoist practices, at 70 years of age, I shouldn't be ejaculating at all but I think it is still a good idea to keep those muscles functioning. Adopting a non-ejaculating regime does not mean foregoing orgasms, as I still try to have a couple of Anerosessions every week.
Good Vibes to You !

@rumel and @SOwithoutAneros Kudos to you both! This is always a good topic of discussion with Aneros. For me, abstinence (chastity) seems to tie it all together. It validates the Aneros use without question, especially for milking. And as @SOwithoutAneros alludes: "But orgasming mostly every day and multiple times a day, if not a whole day long for a day off" is spot-on. After a while, if you are doing regular Aneros sessions, you can realize that your prostate is having an orgasm Aless (eg chairgasm as I am experiencing now!) if you are in-tune with your body. You can in fact feel even the slightest "twinge" of your prostate!

It's definitely been a a long and interesting journey. 7 years. Like..

@Spectre I'm curious: can you describe your Aneros "collection"? How many models do you own/use?

Well, I think I can add to this discussion.

I’ve been an Aneros user for a few years. Recently, my wife and I have somehow drifted into male chastity. I can say from personal experience, that after a week or two of being locked up, intense teasing, and orgasm denial, my Aneros sessions have moved to a new intensity. Sessions now are at a minimum exhausting, if not a little scary.

Male sexual response is so much deeper and expansive than just ejaculation.

I can say from personal experience, that after a week or two of being locked up, intense teasing, and orgasm denial ...

This brings up something I'm curious about. Would users here say that only limiting of ejaculation is enough, or is no penile stimulation at all better? For instance, no edging or looking at erotica (with intention to not ejaculate).

It sounds like you have had success with repeated edging and Aneros use, but I have read elsewhere completely eliminating stimulation is ideal for increased sensitivity.

Would users here say that only limiting of ejaculation is enough, or is no penile stimulation at all better? For instance, no edging or looking at erotica (with intention to not ejaculate).

I'd suggest to minimize manual penile stimulation and to limit ejaculations to less than once a week. As the seventh day is really mean, you get a scent what horniness might wait for you trying the 21- or 40-days-challenge.

Instead of fapping you could lay one finger on your frenulum and keep it still or cup your balls only to help you focus on that spot. Don't forget your nipples and your palate. A finger only resting on your nipple may start things you never thought possible. Cautiously examining my palate with my thumb going up my throat made me find a mirror spot of my prostate. Licking a spot behind my upper incisor teeth starts involuntaries.

There is so much to discover besides penile stimulation. And it's so awesome to get hard from only licking my palate now.

Good vibes and stay curious!

@Spectre I'm curious: can you describe your Aneros "collection"? How many models do you own/use?

I've owned a few. My first was a Helix. Then an MGX, then SGX, then another MGX. I have this bad habit of getting frustrated and throwing them out, labeling them as "no different than masturbating," and, "a waste of time because my sessions can cost me entire days or nights." Yet I still find myself buying a new one. While unspectacular most of the time, prostate stimulation is unique, and after a while you get an itch you just can't scratch.

Like I said, my first one was like 7 years ago. I could never understand how someone could commit so much time to something like this, but I do now. It's definitely a process, and with any process you will experience times of success and times of little to no progress. Honestly, I think the best thing is getting physically stronger in your pelvic diaphragm with kegel exercises. Every time you have a few minutes of just being able to sit there and focus on your own body, contract and relax, contract and relax. Over time you will learn to isolate the muscles that make you feel good down there from the muscles that don't actually do anything for you. Think of the muscles that contract while you're having an orgasm. Instead of contracting them as hard as you can, contract slowly and gradually until you feel a slight tickle or pleasure. You barely need to contract at all.

This was the first thing I learned that changed everything. I was contracting as hard as I could wondering why nothing was happening. Then someone explained it like starting a fire. You blow gently on the little embers until they catch fire. Blow too hard and you just blow the fire out and have to start over. Now I can sit anywhere without an aneros in and scroll through instagram and look at all the hotties and just do subtle twitching contractions and experience orgasm-like pleasure without anyone being aware. The longer it's been since I last orgasmed, the more intense the sensations are. This is why I asked the question is abstinence the trick? I really think it is. Just letting it build up and build up until it's unbearable. I've had sessions with the Aneros that were so good that when I 'accidentally' ejaculated, I was genuinely disappointed because I just wanted the feeling to continue, even though it wasn't climactic in any way. It was that good.

The second thing I've learned that took a while to realize is to not expect "MIND BLOWING SUPER ORGASMS" as advertised right away (or anytime soon for that matter). Just enjoy the feeling of the thing. Let your arousal take you wherever it wants to. The device is about 90% psychological and 10% physical. And if you find yourself getting aroused by things you think you "shouldn't" be aroused by and you suppress it, you're just smothering the flames. F-ck that. Relax deep into your subconscious and find what really turns you on. Your mind is a theater that only you can see and hear whats on the screen, so it doesn't matter what other people think about it. That's when things start feeling really good. Imagining yourself in situations. Feeling what that girl is feeling while she's being penetrated and her eyes just roll into her head.

The next step is experimenting with sound. During sex, your brain is operating in the Theta wavelength (about 7.8hz). If you listen to a sound of that frequency, you can tune your brain into operating at that level through the process of entrainment

@Spectre You write so well and I appreciate your candid comments! Your descriptions of contractions and their ramifications is spot-on IMHO. Your knowledge about no expectations, chastity and Aneros use demonstrates a keen insight. I too like binaural beats and what they can do to improve my whole Aneros experience! I will enjoy reading about your Aneros journey!

@DiscoveryOfI

"Male sexual response is so much deeper and expansive than just ejaculation". How true this is!

To address your question about penile stimulation, sensitivity and male chastity, my experience has been that it is always better to combine semen retention (no ejaculation) with no penile stimulation. That combination can make for extreme arousal, particularly with the head/frenulum. I rarely edge or MB now and feel that, combined with SR and Aneros sessions, can ramp-up my sexual response to a mind-blowing level!

So much freakin wisdom on this thread! I hope those early in their journey are taking notes. By the way, is there a way that we (members) can save or mark our favorite threads so that we could re-visit them later? Maybe in a folder when we log on?

@Spectre In your post above, you speak of "Theta wavelength (about 7.8hz)", just wanted to confirm you are referencing binaural beats? Do you have any favorites you would like to share?

Guys, I suggest that you read carefully and absorb the contents of the older form of Aneros instructions:

https://community.aneros.com/community/for...n-instructions

Section 3 of the older instructions gave important information on how you can experience and control the various orgasms one may have in a session:

"Extend the Pleasure -
"You are now at the point where you have complete control over your contractions. Use this control to prolong the pleasure and have orgasm after orgasm with your Aneros massager.

"Stage 3 – Extending the Pleasure

"When the Aneros Massager gets you to that pinnacle where ejaculation feels imminent, try to stay at this point by controlling the degree of your sphincter contractions. The deep feeling gradually increases and accumulates to the peak point. The muscles of your whole body are contracted and shaken by this strong orgasm without ejaculation. This orgasm comes repeatedly like ocean waves. The duration of this peak orgasm is probably longer (more than 2 minutes) and stronger than a normal ejaculatory orgasm, and this orgasm has a sharp peak rising from a continuous higher plateau stage. At this apex, most of your glands, including your salve gland and anal secretion gland, prepare for ejaculation, but your penis does not ejaculate. It is a superior and different experience.

"Another remarkable thing about this orgasm is that it is physically controllable. This means you can achieve this orgasm as many times as you want by controlling the anal sphincter and regulating body tension. Also, unlike the penis ejaculatory orgasm, each of these orgasms will have a different signature. Consequently, it is possible for you to experience several different kinds of orgasms in one session.

"Note: Your body is completely responsible for manipulating the mechanism of the Aneros Massager. You can in effect turn “off” the device by completely relaxing your sphincter, and turn it “on” by contracting your sphincter. In this manner, it is possible to prolong and build up the effect of the subsequent orgasm."

Developing abstinence from masturbation and sexual intercourse is just learning the virtue of self-control. The "21-day challenge" is a good exercise in learning this self-control. Likewise learning to edge and surf the wave on the cusp of the "Point of No Return" (PONR) during masturbation sessions and sex with a partner is certainly useful! In the process you learn how your body works in this important area. The Aneros is a powerful tool for facilitating this self-knowledge!

Some folks are affected in more intense ways by the chemicals in their bodies than others.

Thing is, those chemicals are always there. Your prostate doesn't produce them. Your testes do. The prostate is more or less just a bladder for semen. The reason it responds so well to direct stimulation is 'cause of all the nerve clusters and muscle fibre bundles.

Holding off on masturbation and 'engorging' your prostate, like you say, all that does is change where the Aneros is going to sit at rest inside you. Doesn't make anything easier or more difficult.

The trick is not to expect ejaculatory orgasm. You're warming up a diesel engine, not firing off a rocket.

By the way, is there a way that we (members) can save or mark our favorite threads so that we could re-visit them later?

That would be great, [USER="39773"]ReWire[/USER], I would appreciate that option too. But so far I only know to save favorites in the browser's boomarks. The #numbers on the right are linked to the specific post in a thread. As rightclicking and adding a bookmark is that easy, I don't believe Aneros will spend efforts on providing another bookmark list inside the forum.

Admittedly there is a forum called Suggestions to Aneros saying "We always strive to improve the community in any way we can, so please use this section to give us your feedback!" but sadly my suggestion back in January 2017 has been the last one there to this day and is still unanswered.
Therefore I believe we have to stick to our own browser's bookmarks.

Cheers
Mart

Then someone explained it like starting a fire. You blow gently on the little embers until they catch fire. Blow too hard and you just blow the fire out and have to start over.

Thank you for painting this convincing picture, I love it, and thank you for so much more wisdom in your post, I can fully agree with:

Now I can sit anywhere without an aneros in and scroll through instagram and look at all the hotties and just do subtle twitching contractions and experience orgasm-like pleasure without anyone being aware.

And some day you will get there - eyes shut - and you nevermore will do any even subtle contraction but solely focus on your prostate and the vibes around it.

The longer it's been since I last orgasmed, the more intense the sensations are. This is why I asked the question is abstinence the trick? I really think it is. Just letting it build up and build up until it's unbearable.

Affirmative! Only it's bearable, truly bearable.

Let your arousal take you wherever it wants to. The device is about 90% psychological and 10% physical. And if you find yourself getting aroused by things you think you "shouldn't" be aroused by and you suppress it, you're just smothering the flames. F-ck that. Relax deep into your subconscious and find what really turns you on. Your mind is a theater that only you can see and hear whats on the screen, so it doesn't matter what other people think about it. That's when things start feeling really good.

Lately I've been envisioning embracings with myself, with a partner, with the mattress, with the earth, with my Kundalini and with my vibes. Once I envisioned myself looking down on my own body having tribes like a root and lying in the open earth outsending streams of energy.

Imagining yourself in situations.
Feeling what that girl is feeling [Link is NSFW!]
while she's being penetrated and her eyes just roll into her head.

If you like to go deeper with this empathy, try a transformation (with reversal of course! [NSFW(!), of course.])
(Shibby's fans - already accustomed to the trigger word - will know what to expect, others, not accustomed to hypnosis and binaurals, should be warned and are - as far as interested - strongly recommended to start from the beginning.)

The next step is experimenting with sound.

Besides listening to theta waves, binaurals or whispered erotic asmr sounds, I'd further recommend to try to vocalize your feelings with your own voice and with humming and breathing - no matter how silly it sounds - better to say the more silly the better. Because the more unrestrained you let yourself create the sounds, the more benefit you will harvest.

@Spectre, Kudos for your invigorating post and good vibes to you!

I'd further recommend to try to vocalize your feelings with your own voice and with humming and breathing - no matter how silly it sounds - better to say the more silly the better. Because the more unrestrained you let yourself create the sounds, the more benefit you will harvest.

@Spectre, Kudos for your invigorating post and good vibes to you!

Thanks. I actually missed the last part of your post about vocalizing, which is funny because I tried vocalizing today and had some pretty interesting results. Just moaning and building up the pitch of my voice generated some really nice sensations.

I'm on day 2 of abstaining as my girlfriend just left. Not working either, so I have all day to myself. Just got my new MGX yesterday so I had a couple 2 hour sessions with nothing spectacular. Today was different. I woke up with the strongest erection I've had in what feels like years, so after waking up and having coffee, I jumped straight into it. Had a nice 2 hour session with some good feelings. Took a break. Had another hour session with pretty much constant 'wet feeling' pleasure. Took another break. Then had another 2 hour session and filmed it. Towards the end, I started playing with moaning, and by that point I was already really turned on so I got an erection and came really close to having a climax, but I backed off right as the wave started coming and just layed there with this intense heat in my groin area and a very swollen penis.

Can't wait to see what day three has in store for me.

@Spectre, sometimes it might become necessary to release some steam. Then only put one hand on your crotch and the other hand on your heart and lead all your energy up to your heart, dedicate all your love to your partner and drink a lot of water.

I've only achieved penis head based pleasure multiple male orgasms, and it wasn't easy to pull off. I have not pulled it off yet with the aneros helix. However, the time I had my best results without the aneros, I had wacked off twice in a row, and they produced weak orgasms, and I thought it'd never worked but I tried to do hands free mind based orgasm anyway (and had never to that point pulled it off), but surprisingly that is the first time and the best time I've gotten it to work! And have pulled it off 2 or 3 times since but never that well.

Oh my god. Shea Butter. I'm using it as I type this. So good. So responsive. No matter how hard you press, it doesn't stick. Every tiny motion has an effect

Excellent thread with great comments and discussions!

A few weeks ago I tried a 7 day semen retention challenge. I made it to day 6!! I was not expecting the immense buildup of sensations and pleasure that I got. I'm getting aroused just thinking about it. I need to start another challenge soon. 😮

My intro to semen retention started in 2002 when my wife decided we should stop having sex, except for baby making. I was determined not to go back into masturbation and so things built up. Discomfort turned to pain, and then I went to a doctor. She told me about the High Island Health website and suggested I might want to give it a try, but be careful and keep in touch. I ordered a contraption that looks just like the SGX and the rest is history - as I have 2 more aneros plus a bunch of other devices from reputable manufacturers. I realized I had to take responsibility for my own sexuality and do so in a responsible and ethical fashioned, though I slipped up a few times by exploring my man-to-man fantasies. I am proud to say I never was with another woman since I met my wife. And, its been quite a while now since I last was with a man. Now I actually like being in a sexless marriage. Sex with my wife was awesome emotionally, but pretty lame physically. We did experiment some in the distant past with coitus reservatis and if her libido ever gets switched on again that is definitely the route I would go as I had too hard a time struggling to ejaculate with her. Took too long, was real work and not fun.