I GIVE UP-gctid8657

Why not just take a break for a month or two? It sounds like you are trying very, very hard to make something happen and some folks might suggest that is the wrong approach. You are putting a LOT of pressure on yourself and on an event that can't be rushed or forced.

Relax and enjoy other aspects of your life. You are only young once. Take some time off and find some fun distractions. Some yoga or meditation might help for when you decide to return. Come back when you are ready and don't be afraid to be more active in the forums and chat. We all want each other to succeed and this is a great community.

beegee6

Thanks for the suggestion beegee6
I really appreciate it perhaps I gave the wrong impression. I most certainly have learned that patience is key to everything with aneros. I have tried my best not to put pressure on myself but it has 5 years of this for me lol. I have taken breaks before and they haven't worked either but I am willing to try anything so I may just try that once more. Once again thanks for your comment.

@domscraigslist...If you don't mind, may I ask what sensations you have gotten over the years? How often did you have a session, and how long were your sessions? Did you exercise your kegel muscles on a regular basis? Was abstinence from ejaculation ever tried in that time?

If you've answered these questions numerous times already, I apologize! However, I can say that as much as I wish otherwise, I don't think I was ready for this experience when I was in my early 20's, mostly due to being sceptical of the claims that I was reading. Even now that I'm older, I WAS very hesitant to believe the sales pitch on the website, and couldn't help but tell myself..."There's a sucker born every minute"...However, I still pursued the journey, which paid off BIG TIME, in my case, and I can't imagine my life without being able to have these orgasms...it's been an awesome experience! That said, if you are willing to answer my questions, I'm willing to help!

@domscraiglist, first, don't throw it out. at worst stash and forget.

second, it took me a very long time too. here are some things that might get you over the hump:

- eroticising your hole. have you tried masturbating just it (with your finger), no penis? might take a few weeks to wake it up.

- fantasy. what are you doing in this department? it might help to explore a very passive one where you are lying still and a woman (or man, whatever) is very caringly massaging you, starting with your head and toes, and eventually seductively tickling your hole, etc, to get it excited for her finger to go in. have you really let go to allow yourself passive penetrative pleasure?

- weed for many is a huge accelerant.

- i wonder if feeling dying down is from you contracting or tensing when you feel the good feeling. can you try just seeing if you can get it back the slightest bit a second time, after it dies down? the thing about aneros pleasure is it has two components, the pleasure of being touched and tickled inside, which is subtle, and the pleasure of the muscles down their responding by contracting on their own, as they do during orgasm.

- go into the chat, and let people there guide you through a session

- how about your girlfriend, does she know? she might be able to help by giving you an erotic massage while the aneros is in... except no penis touching.

- have you had sex with it in?

darwin

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domscraiglist,

'beegee6's suggestion you may be trying too hard is valid, your Yes, but ... response :I have tried my best not to put pressure on myself but it has 5 years of this for me lol.(and this post) belies the fact you are frustrated on some level. Perhaps 'Theme_Gasm' is correct about your not being fully ready for this experience, if that is the case then 'AneRico's advice is an option. If that is not the case, then I suggest you read the thread Identifying Obstacles to Progress and see if you discover an aspect of your practice which may be blocking you. If that reading doesn't clarify anything for you then try 'darwin's excellent advice.I have always been extremely horny and found a video of someone using it and was instantly intrigued. I suspect you may still be harboring some expectations about the Aneros experience which has lingered since you saw that first video. Your Aneros journey is not going to match some video, it is going to be unique for you, your experience may be extremely different from what you saw in a video, so just set that imagery aside and learn how to "Just Let Go !" In any event, I suggest you don't trash your MGX, just set it aside until your life affords you the opportunity to explore yourself in a less constrained atmosphere.
Good Vibes to You !

@domscraigslist: Quoting " I have a pretty active sex life with my girlfriend but I so badly want to experience the you all talk about." (I have not worked out how to quote)
This is very good, not quite sure what "pretty active" means but it sounds good. This should I think be your focus. I am sure there is a lot you both can explore. I don't mean extreme stuff but simply things that will enhance the experience of what you are already doing. I don't want to give examples because I don't know how far you go together, and any cultural restrictions. But I will say think past ejaculation and see if you can separate orgasm from it. Become aware of your BC muscles, sometimes tightening it for sex sometimes relaxing it and letting the body bring you to EJ without your interference. If this it " too far" then deepen what you are doing. The MGX is relatively big. It may be helpful to use something smaller to simply act as a temporary gate keeper, like the larger Peridise which you may try in what you are doing. With what I know now I would have liked to have deepened my body knowledge and sex experience within what I was doing when I was sexually very active. I feel all this will prepare you for more intense Aneros work a bit later, but not now, as may posts above have suggested.
If this post in inappropriate or not helpful just disregard.

First of all let me just say WOW! The responses I've received from you all has been mind blowing. Like I stated before I've been reading this forum for a long time and some of you are like celebrities to me so I definitely appreciate every single suggestion. I will do my very best to respond and take into deep consideration every single post before choosing my ultimate goal.

@Theme_Gasm
What sensations you have gotten over the years?
I have had several different sensations some nights when I put it in I feel a slow pulsating almost rhythmic to my heart a slight tribal pounding inside that starts to grow outwardly but never spreads past my backside and when it really gets good it slows down and eventually stops. Other times I lay for long periods of time until I am on the edge of sleeping and bam out of no where I get a strong pulsation that last for a few brief minutes but then stops never to return. I have also experienced a suction experience where I lay completely still but my whole seems to keep pulling in the aneros deeper. All of these experience feel great but none ever last longer than a few minutes and most don't occur again in the session.
How often did you have a session, and how long were your sessions? When I first got it I had sessions every day but I realized fatigue may have been setting in. As the years have gone on I have definitely had a love hate relationship with it going 3 months without it and starting again stopping again. The longest I've gone without it has been about 4 and a half months. For the last 6 months I've tried to use it consistently twice a week some times more if I had a slightly good session. Most of my sessions are about 2 to 3 hours and I can usually tell in the first hour if it's going to be good or not.
Did you exercise your kegel muscles on a regular basis?
Yes I did start kegel exercises sometime ago I actually enjoy them at times more.
Was abstinence from ejaculation ever tried in that time?
I don't know if I have ever purposely attempted to sustain from ejaculation but I most certainly gone time between them. How long would you suggest is a good enough time?

And I'm not at all skeptical of the potential of the aneros what I am is unsure if it works for EVERY guy that's all. Thanks so much

@darwin

No I have never tried "eroticising my hole". I have literally never even thought of that until your comment so I guess I haven't tried "everything". I will certainly attempt to try and create a connection between hole stimulation and prostate stimulation. Even if it doesn't change my current plateau it should at least increase my alone time exploration.
When it comes to outside stimulation when I first started I watched porn while I used it but I had no success with that. I'm not really good with fantasies my mind tends to wonder to much I start thinking about an incredible woman touching me and end up thinking about how many more bags of chips I need for my party next week. The only outside aid that has helped me get a few tingles is when I started using binomial beats. Something I read in the forum a while back made me look into them and I really like the feelings they give but again after a while my mind wonders.
Weed is always good but living at home makes that suggestion almost impossible. I can't get high at home and I certainly can't use my aneros while smoking with my boys.
I do instantly tense up when I start to get the feelings of something going on. So I started doing breathing exercises when I feel them to get better at that. But yes you are very right about me tensing up durning the exciting moments I am trying to be better.
My girlfriend has never known anything about me and my aneros or any type of anal play. I'm most definitely not ready for that convo. Lol. Nor have I ever had sex with it in. I don't believe I'm open enough for any of that yet.
Thank you so much

@AneRico

Thanks for the suggestion. I have actually stopped using it for about 5 months. I will definitely think very seriously about that.

@rumel

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have read "Obstacles" before but I don't think I truly made a serious attempt with admitting to myself that I may be causing my own delay to "the promised land!" The more I respond to you all the more I am starting to see that Mind Noise is a real problem for me. I had noticed throughout my journey that the more that was going on the harder it was for me to concentrate on the enjoyment inside of me. I have basically been forced to turn everything in my room off and lay in complete darkness so that I am not distracted by the random going ons of the world. No tv no computer no iPhone iPad or iPod just silence. But after a while my mind certainly drifts to thoughts that have nothing to do with aneros. My question is how do I avoid these random thoughts and allow my mind to focus on the pleasure at hand and not random song lyrics.
I also realize that there may be a small amount of "Fear" associated with my aneros experience. I was asked about adding my girlfriend into the situation and as much as I hate to say it the first thing I thought about was I don't want her to think I'm gay. Which is so unlike me I have a cousin who is gay and he is literally one of the best men I know. I guess in the African American community anything that's not accepted as 100% masculine is a problem for some. I know enjoy anal pleasure doesn't make you gay but I don't think I can yet let those around me know what I'm doing. Specifically in a society that glorifies thugs and gangsters and almost criminalizes anything like emotion.
When it comes that first video I saw it was one hundred and fifty percent of why I bought it. Lol I would be lying if I said it wasn't but I have learned that each experience is different and that no two sessions are alike. If I did expect that response I have most certainly gotten over it by now.
Thank you so much for your response.

@isvara

When I say a pretty active sex life I think what I mean is we have sex very often. But it is just the basic stuff, without getting to graphic there is only average oral and vaginal sex anything else is both of the table and in her words "out of the question". Don't get me wrong it's good very good but there are not many opportunities to explore my aneros use.
Also when it comes to the size I'm not sure if that's a problem or not often once it's is I barely feel it and my current financial situation won't allow me to chance spending money on something that may not work again. Thanks so much for your comments they are greatly appreciated.

My question is how do I avoid these random thoughts and allow my mind to
focus on the pleasure at hand and not random song lyrics.

For me, having my thoughts drift away to non-sexual things is a total session-killer. But it happens. Sometimes I get so relaxed that I forget what I'm engaged in. I suddenly realise I've been day-dreaming about some stupid crap for the past 20 minutes and having no sensations from the aneros.
Maybe we're using the wrong word, maybe "relax" doesn't accurately describe the state of mind needed.
I'd describe it more as deeply focused, silent but with intent, observing closely and surrendering openly.
But then I also blame boredom, if the aneros isn't able to keep my attention, then mind distraction is more likely.
I counter-act it by giving myself a task - focus on and experiment with a certain contraction, breathe a certain way, keep a mental laser-beam focused on something.
Fantasy-wise, I work with tiny slivers of imagery, imagining a certain curve or one particular feature, zoomed in, and just for a few seconds, then turn my focus back to the experience.

@domscraigslist,

it does sound like you have a bunch of good stuff to work on here!

i will add two things:

1) you are going to really have to accept something: this is anal sex! your prostate is just one component. i have written before about how unbelievably good yet naughty this feels when it gets going. letting yourself have this means nothing at all about your sexual orientation. go for it.

2) i smoke weed sometimes before my session, with my wife in the next room, uninformed. I use a VaporGenie and an open window. Two tokes it the best amount. After my session i go straight to bed, so she doesn't have to deal with with any altered behavior.

darwin

Off topic.

You mention that you tense up when things start to get going and then things stop, so maybe you aren't fully relaxing into the experience. The fact you live with your parents might be contributing to this and is maybe not allowing you to fully let go for fear of you doing something uncontrolled or the fear of the unknown experiences that might be around the next corner. To tense up would create a blockage of sorts and so disrupt any further development of the session and if it happens often then your mind and body will get used to this pattern and expect it each time. So maybe you have to deal with what's making you tense up and find ways to deviate from it or maybe just have a long break as has been suggested above to break up the habitual process that you're experiencing. Good luck whatever you decide.

I agree with @darwin. You need to just accept and like anal play regardless of sexual orientation, besides they are completely seperate. Enjoying anal play should be fun. You need to let your inhibitions go and get to a point where you yearn to play with your anus and your prostate will quiver with excitement. I think if you can work on the mind noise too good things will happen!

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You guys are all amazing. If I knew that one night of being desperate enough to reach out would transpire into this I would have spoken up years ago. After reading your initial feed back I was at a cross roads do I listen to some who say let aneros take an extended vacation from my body, and allow time to heal mentally or do I heed the advice of others and do more self exploration. Either way I came to the first conclusion that the problem was not the aneros it was me. And the more I read and reread and researched your comments to me I started to see things different. Each one of you had a specific idea for me to over come the road blocks in my journey, a new way to translate the map I was reading. There were no short cuts and each path was as tedious as the other but they all led to the same destination. I had to ask myself if I was even ready or willing to continue this journey, specifically when the time frame can never be pinned down. I decided with an absolute yes I want to continue. As soon as I made that decision something deep inside me felt like it was turned on, like I knew regardless of how long it took or what happened I would get there. All day yesterday I was excited to get home and try out all of your suggestions. I was so excited that I started to feel a faint tingling inside like the aneros was already in. It scared me at first but I did like so many have stated and just relaxed and it would come and go throughout the day. When I finally got home I cleaned up and got ready. My heart was pounding with anticipation and then I realized that I was probably setting myself up to be disappointed because I was way to excited so instead I decide to go to bed early. This morning I woke up two hours earlier than usual with raging morning wood and that's when I decided to give it a go. When it went I knew not to expect anything grand so I just laid there and concentrated. After about a half hour those little tingles started to reoccur but they had little more "thump" to them and I started get butterfly wing like movements from my prostate. Then my penis which had gone limp over the elapsed time literally shot up like a spring it was one of the hardest biggest erections I have ever had. So like I always my body tensed up to the new sensations, but this time thanks to you guys I talked myself off of the ledge by focusing all of my energy on one thing the aneros tap tap tapping on my prostate. After a while I noticed a tickling on my toes and feet and then my fingers and hands. I felt a ball of energy growing inside me and as it expanded inside of me I felt my anal muscles contract very tightly and my penis started swinging back and for with an almost rhythmic pace to the throbbing inside my prostate. My penis felt like it was about to ejaculate and it bucked really hard for a few seconds and then slowly everything subsided. I didn't reach the mountain top but thanks to you guys (best gps system ever) I did go to a new place and it was very very nice. Not as good as an orgasm but some of those feelings were amazing. So glad I reached out to you before I tossed it. I'm not sure what to do next but I do know I am not giving up.

@Clenchy
Thanks the change of words from relax to focus is a huge help. Focus is something I can do and do very well. It allowed my mind to have something to dwell on and not go into next weeks grocery list again.

@darwin
I think allowing myself to be okay with the process of being the receiver and not my normal sexual aggressive giver has helped. Still have a slightly hard time saying this anal sex but hey baby steps.

@Tickle
Yes the tensing up was a huge problem. It didn't or doesn't have to do with living with my parents it's a big house and we don't hear or really even see each other. But it has more to do with my lack of control over what's happening to me. During regular sex I know when I am cumming I know how to stop it, I even know when I can't lol. But this is completely different. I don't know what's coming next. I can't keep my body from doing what it wants and I'm not use to that. Handing over control from myself to well.... myself is what tenses me up more than anything else. Still working on how to overcome that one. Thanks for pointing it out to me.

@ineverknew
I'm working on it. Hopefully I can get to the point where the pleasures of the body out weigh the bondage of the mind.

@AneRico
Thank you so much for taking the time to find that quote for me. I am realizing that relaxation is more then the way I feel but a state of mind that I have to work to go to. I will continue to see how deep into relaxation I can dive.

Take your time and try to enjoy the journey. Eventually when you have more practice you will find out that it will take less prep and exercises to get you primed.
There will be times when its not so great and very good. Just wait for the 'WTFH wad that!?!'
Keep your eyes open for sales. My first was the MGX and I wondered how the hell is this going to fit? My next purchase was a Progasm (on sale here for $40 shipped) and standing that next to the MGX really dropped my jaw. As many other users I use both depending on my mood and yes there are differences.

Good to hear!!!! Being excited to use the aneros can certainly help you sessions. Dont be so afraid of speaking up if you need any help in the future, its what we are all here for.

That sounds like amazing progress. So much of this is mental, and we all face it. I'm so glad you found something new just when you needed it most. I hope you progress further soon!

That is excellent progress! Keep going! You can see the future, and it's orgasmic!

Thanks for sharing with the forum! I know it wasn't easy for you but congratulations on taking that leap of faith! I Started on my Aneros journey about 5 years ago. As with most things in life, it's had it's major peaks and some low valley's. I remember becoming very frustrated, to the point of giving up, many times during my first year or two of use. I got to a certain plateau in my journey and just stayed at that same level for what seemed like months. Each and every session was a repeat of the last... like watching a re-run episode over and over and over... I couldn't figure out what i was doing wrong? Finally I just put it down for a time and concentrated on other things. Every once in a while i'd get the call and slip away for session, but again, it seemed as though my journey had taken a wrong course and I could not for the life of me figure out what the hell was going on. It wasn't until we moved into a new home that my journey took a turn for the better almost 3 years after first receiving my helix in the mail. My new home had much less privacy than my previous home, but this turned out to be a blessing in disguise! My old home had locks on all the bedroom doors, my newer home does not. The only room that has a lock is the half bathroom down in the basement/workshop area. I have claimed this area and the bathroom as my own.. the man-cave if you will! I have daughters that are now entering their teenage years, so the need for privacy, when using the aneros, is now more important than ever. I have basically been forced to conduct my sessions in the downstairs half bathroom of all places! No pun intended... but what shitty luck right! On the contrary... This literally forced me into the position of trying a new position! Being that there is only a toilet and a sink in this tiny bathroom has left me with only one option... the sit-down on the toilet position! As strange and or gross as it may sound, this position works better than any other for me. I've tried everything suggested in this forum... every technique, every position imaginable, literally hundreds of hours and none even come close to the Super-Duper-O results that I have achieved in the sitting position! To make things a little more civilized, I maintain a spotless, super cleanly bathroom environment. I also, put a towel over the seat, push it down a little to create a pocket between the seat hole and the water... to prevent any slip-out accidents and this also provides tension and acts as a sort of barrier to keep it from slipping out altogether... you ever had it pop out of your ass at that crucial moment? well with this method, pop-out never occurs and the orgasms just keep on cumming 😉 After years of use, I highly recommend the sit-down position and never do it any other way... even when my family is out of town. i highly recommend and suggest you give this a try.. I will almost bet you will achieve the results you are looking for. Do not just sit down on a flat surface, it freaking hurts man! The seat hole is necessary for this to work, and you need that towel pocket for more reasons than one! Btw, I read a older forum post from a guy named shadow... Thread title is "why isn't this common knowledge" in the Testimonials Category. He achieved the sit-down method by placing two folding chairs together and using a towel. Due to my circumstances, I have no other choice but to use the bathroom, lol! But it does work very well 🙂 Anyway, here is Shadows Method if you'd rather give that a try: https://community.aneros.com/forum/discussion/12966/why-isn039t-this-common-knowledge#Item_18 Best of Luck to You!

Ok guys I don't know what's going on now I've been trying to sleep for a few hours but every half an hour or so my prostate keeps fluttering. It has been light but still strong enough to wake me up. I know part of this is giving yourself away to the pleasure but does the recoding process continue with and without your control as well. I have to be honest I'm a little nervous that I have done something to myself wrong. Don't get me wrong it feels good but it's just a little weird.

@Engorged
I will keep up with it bro lol. I was a little surprised at how quick the roller coaster took off this time but like you said the ride goes both up and down and I'm looking forward to all parts of the ride. I don't think I'm ready to get something new yet still trying to get a hang of the current aneros I have.
@ineverknew
I have certainly learned that it's better to ask you all then to hold it all inside. Don't be surprised if I am constantly filling you all in on every new experience I have.
@mdad
Thanks for your help in this exciting process.
@Theme_Gasm
If that's a glimpse of the future then I'm so excited for what's next.
@Vanakin41
What a great and creative idea. I too have tried a number of positions over the years. I have never even thought about sitting over the toilet. How clever to take what to most would seem as a hindrance and turn it into your launching pad. I really appreciate the level of detail you placed in your response. I want to ask you when you first transitioned from your plateau to your next level of aneros discovery, what were the first physical and or mental changes did you get. How quick did things go from 0 to 100 once they finally got started. Was it a slow steady climb up or more of a quick rocket shoot to the top of your pleasure threshold.
Thanks again guys for all your help.

Well, there were a few things that I had to figure out before I really transitioned. I had to let go of all my expectations and just enjoy the ride for what it was. I had to learn how to be satisfied with where i was at, at that moment. I also had to allow myself to be ok with what i was doing and realize that there is no right or wrong way to experience it. I began to incorporate vocalizations into my sessions such as dirty talk and soft moaning, nipple stimulation (use vasoline on the nips) I mean why should women have all the fun? ya know! And I had to realize that it was ok for me to experience these things and that i didn't need to feel embarrassed about it... after all it's just me, my personal time, no one can see what i'm doing! I started out faking the moaning and forced myself to vocalize the dirty talk... but in doing so, something happend... my body began to respond and then it became real. These things really help in the process of letting go and giving in to your greatest sexual desires. Now i do these things without even thinking about it. The funny thing is, I'm manly man... a tough guy. i do manly things like ride motorcycles, hunt, fish, listen to metal m/ but in a aneros session i am a total slut, lmao! And it's ok to pursue total sexual bliss and experience orgasms like a female! it's ok to be ok with it! just don't tell your friends 😉 I mentioned this before, but i want to re-direct your attention to nipple stimulation. maybe you already do? if not, lube up the nips and give it a try.. do so when the aneros is in place. may not be for everyone, but for me it's like there's a invisible connection between my nipples, ass and cock. I find that nipple stimulation provokes anal contractions and increases pleasure waves not only in feeling but also in frequency. again, its not the same for everyone, but certainly worth a try. I've also discovered that smoking a little marijuana before a session acts as anaphrodisiac and can send your pleasure receptors into a blissful overload, throwing you into Super-O Heaven! I've only done so on rare occasion and again this is something that is not for everyone. i certainly would not want to encourage recreational use to anyone with issues. just ideas, that's all. In any event, once i figured out the things mentioned above and incorporated vocal/nip stimuli is when I transitioned from 0 to 70 within a week. The problem was is I stayed at 70 for a very long time. It wasn't until I made the switch to the sit-down position, that i graduated to about a 90. The other 10 i choose to leave open for the sake of the journey... and the journey is far from over 🙂

@vanakin41, i just read somewhere about the toilet method and tried it but was so worried it would fall into the toilet water LOL. It obviously wasnt a good session from the worrying. I have a fear of toilet water being a germaphobe. Thanks for the towel idea, will give that a try! Also why not just put locking door handles on in your home? Might raise some flags? lol

> Ok guys I don't know what's going on now I've been trying to sleep for a few hours but every half an hour or so my prostate keeps fluttering... I have to be honest I'm a little nervous that I have done something to myself wrong.

It's all normal, especially in the beginning. Mine does this too, especially after a long session. And again, it's a GREAT sign of progress.

i agree, completely normal. Eventually they wont seem so distracting as you get used to the feelings.

How lucky you are, I wish my prostate was fluttering, ah heaven.............