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How to Inspire enthusiasm?


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(@lee92)
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Okay so at the beginning of my journey I was really super hyped and had searched so many topics on how to rewire or look for subtle sensations etc.

I've tried hypnosis, erotic audio, supplements, microdosing psilocybin, KSMO, mindgasm, erotic literature, treating use as meditation, music to induce different alpha, theta states etc.

I now feel I've hit a bit of a wall and no longer look forward to sessions. I also tried a different massager to no avail.

How can I reinvigorate enthusiasm to keep pursuing?

I used to smoke weed years ago and it's actually getting to the point where I'm literally thinking of trying a small dose just to see if it helps me rewire.

The problem is I had highly destructive tendencies with weed but considering it in a medical setting.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

 


   
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(@clenchy)
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I'm very skeptical about whether weed improves your rewiring to anything except weed. Which I guess is fine if you never want to stop smoking weed. I smoked weed for my aneros sessions for about 4 years, and although those sessions were very intense and greatly enhanced, I don't think it helped me with any kind of re-wiring, if anything it re-wired me to weed and (without weed) left me with worse wiring than I used to have.
So if you think going back to weed is a bad idea for you in general, be careful about what convincing things you might be telling yourself to justify it. But of course my experience isn't everyone's experience.

How can I reinvigorate enthusiasm to keep pursuing?

I'd say try taking a long break from it, maybe do some total abstinence from orgasm/ejaculation. Wait until your body begs you for it. It sounds like you might be burned out on it, which I get myself quite often. After years of smashing the "easy pleasure" button with my weed sessions, I really began to question the fundamental premise of what I was doing... like one of those lab rats pushing a button to get more drugs. It became empty pleasure seeking, disconnected from sexuality, disconnected from myself. This might not be relevant to your situation, I guess I'm just thinking out loud.


   
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Zentai
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@clenchy 

I agree 100%, but you already know this. Our experiences with cannabis are strikingly similar. I can't really recommend THC for Super-Os in a general manner without knowing the individual. In some cases, knowing someone better just tells me that this person should definitely not use cannabis for their sessions, if at all. Burnout, thrill seeking and anhedonia can await some men... I have a name for the part of you that thinks that smoking some weed for a session is a swell idea and won't hurt anything : The Lizard, aka your lizard brain. The lizard does not care about anything besides the next dopamine hit, long term thinking or logic are not his thing...

Posted by: @lee92

The problem is I had highly destructive tendencies with weed but considering it in a medical setting.

That's a clear indication that mixing THC with your sessions is a terrible idea. Do not consider it at all under any setting.

In a perfect rewired world, enthusiasm and arousal for sessions should come from the idea that you might (or will) get a Super-O from doing it. I agree with @clenchy that taking a step back might be a good idea here, think about why you are doing it and what you want to take away from the experience. Try to give it a fresh start. 

 

 

 


   
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(@lee92)
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Thanks for the replies. Reflecting today in a more logical state of mind, I'd say potentially where I went wrong is "expecting" the next thing I tried to provide more tangible results or somehow quicker. 

I mean as in rather than sticking with one method more consistently for a prolonged period of time, I would jump to the next big thing based on research to see if that worked and achieve "quicker" results.

Of course then this mindset builds frustration eventually leading to the "ahhh, what's the point" ideology. 

Like you say, it's probably burnt myself out mentally from the "expecting".

I'm not sure if that makes any sense?

Let me know what you think.

Thanks


   
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Zentai
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@lee92 

Yes, expecting a new thing to be the silver bullet puts a lot of pressure on you to perform the trick or technique "correctly", and if it does not pan out that can be a hit against your motivation.

It's a mindset thing, if you approach the same situation in a playful or receptive manner, as in : "Let's see what that new method does" vs "I hope this new thing finally works", that can make a big difference. 


   
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Posted by: @lee92

I'd say potentially where I went wrong is "expecting" the next thing I tried to provide more tangible results or somehow quicker. 

Well, there is a lot to be said for the excitement of anticipation, and the belief that what you're about to do will work. There's nothing wrong with exploring new ideas and techniques. It keeps things interesting.
I think I understand more what you're saying now. I've been on the same track, experimenting with different things over the years, Mindgasm, erotic hypno, etc.

I had a lot of unrewarding sessions to deal with after I quit weed, so I can relate to the search. I stand by my previous suggestion though, abstaining from orgasm/ejaculation for a few weeks has been very interesting. Part of the reason I went on these abstinence stints was because if the pleasure isn't showing up, then fuck it, I'm tired of trying to force it.
Interesting things can happen during that time... Like one night I woke up having a dry orgasm that lasted for ages, and I'm talking several minutes of really cozy pleasure, that was a trip. Then another time my nipples became more sexually responsive than I've ever felt them, I thought I'd finally re-wired my nipples, but this super-power went away when I went back to masturbating regularly. The dreams can get crazy too, like I'll always have one dream where I'm ejaculating gallons of semen, like impossible amounts.

Another part of abstinence is making peace with the frustration, because at least it's a frustration you're taking on voluntarily, which makes it strangely not frustrating. It's like the "You can't fire me, I quit" of masturbation.
The pent-up arousal can also be useful for erotic audio, etc.

Have you tried the Mindgasm 30 day challenge? I actually had a full dry orgasm on about day 26. Which was cool because I never get those (dry ejaculation contractions are so crazy I love them). Kind of a long way to go for that kind of novelty, but if you need something to spice things up, I had a good time doing this.

 


   
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(@lee92)
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@clenchy I never done the mindgasm challenge, however I have done semen retention while practicing with aneros. I'm not sure if it helped with the sessions or not.

I lasted 3 weeks and that is the longest I've went.

What I did notice was the wild energy shift. I'm usually quite vanilla but found by week 3 I caved in and was searching a lot of BDSM shit or just really getting off on the more psychological side of pleasure.

Like rather than watching a woman simply getting fucked, I was in awe of just simply seeing them being in pleasure. 

I think the Idea of me being pegged was so much more appealing also because I was literally begging for pleasure. 

I guess you could argue this is possibly what leads to breakthroughs with the aneros had I not decided to turn to porn on the third week.

This being said, I was still edging and practicing semen retention for a while before I reached the inevitable and that was certainly a very nice experience.

For me with the aneros, as soon as I've felt any kind of pleasure arise, I kind of get excited, try to capture it then it disappears. 

Almost like at that moment I try harder to catch what is occurring.


   
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Posted by: @lee92

I guess you could argue this is possibly what leads to breakthroughs with the aneros

My aneros sessions were sometimes different, but it wasn't a game-changer for me in terms of aneros sessions, at least not so far (I will do more of these in future). What it does do is shake things up in unexpected new ways (as I guess you found out), and it's also a nice break from disappointing sessions. I've found it to be a consistent source of novelty.

Posted by: @lee92

This being said, I was still edging and practicing semen retention for a while before I reached the inevitable and that was certainly a very nice experience.

Does a man really know himself until he's emptied out a month of backed up semen? 😂
At the end of one of my abstaining streaks, I actually had the thought "Oh God, it just keeps coming out", it was going all over the place shooting about 18 inches (I guess it was going further because it was kinda watery). Destroyed my t-shirt. I still laugh thinking about it, totally ridiculous, but something I would have never experienced otherwise.

Posted by: @lee92

For me with the aneros, as soon as I've felt any kind of pleasure arise, I kind of get excited, try to capture it then it disappears. Almost like at that moment I try harder to catch what is occurring.

Yeah that's one of the mental traps. And it's probably something you could work on, if you wanted a new project.
Why change from the mental state that gave rise to the pleasure? I mean, I understand the impulse, but it's a technical question to ponder. What if you didn't try? Would it feel like some kind of denial? Maybe denial could be an experimental goal. (there was a thread here years ago that mentioned "try not to orgasm"). But this is the other kind of fertile ground, instead of seeking new external things, there are experiments to be had internally.

 


   
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MarvelousWeasel101
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Posted by: @lee92

For me with the aneros, as soon as I've felt any kind of pleasure arise, I kind of get excited, try to capture it then it disappears. 

Almost like at that moment I try harder to catch what is occurring.

I have this same experience, when I chase the orgasm. What helps me to overcome this, is that I try to tune my attitude, to appreciate the little things, to live the moment. This was hard at first, but it got easier since I've started to have more and more involuntaries. I try to locate which muscles are twiching, and feel into them deeply. I think about them as someone is teasing me with them.

And the most important, I try to be relaxed with both body and mind.

I usually need to have decent energy level, and not be tired to keep up this attitude, but when I manage to stay in this flow, this heightens the pleasure of each involuntary, and this can lead to dry-o. I don't even need to or have time to have visual fantasies during this, focusing on the feelings I have, are sufficient.

I like the idea of the orgasm denial, which I think is a spicied up variant of what I use. I might try it someday.

 


   
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(@lee92)
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@clenchy I also thought the power dynamic was interesting with semen retention. I always thought it was bullshit about women not being happy about a man denying himself of ejeculation.

Though I did experience this and it did lead me to understand that through sex it is the woman's strongest superpower to seek control over a man. As they often can't by physical means in terms of evolution.

At least that was my theory. Of course part of it is also so they feel validated and that you are attracted to them but I couldn't help but sense the manipulation part also 😅.

You actually start to look at the world in a different way 😂.


   
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(@clenchy)
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Can't say I've thought about the power dynamics of it much, that whole world of being calculating and subtly adversarial with people just seems like an exhausting pain in the ass. But I guess people will play those games on you, whether you want to take part or not, and it's as well to understand the landscape.

On a side-note, I think I've talked myself into trying abstaining again. I probably should have continued doing Mindgasm after that dry-o I had.


   
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(@lee92)
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@clenchy  I can usually do around 7 days with not much issue, it's often past this point I tend to feel it becoming more difficult.

I think the testosterone spikes on the seventh day.


   
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I find it's possible to push through that and things settle down, to the point where I might spend the next week not caring at all.
Is it worth pushing through? Meh, probably not always. It depends on what you like about doing it.


   
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