How far does masturbation set me back?

@kaygo I had my first superO when I was 32. I don't know why I tried it, but I wanted to do anal stimulation so I used a dildo from my girlfriend. It wasn't long, but it thicker in width. It also vibrated seven different ways. I had used Astroglide and inserted it gently while laying on my back. I practiced with my muscles the Kegel exercises for about 30 minutes every day. I would switch 10min on right, 10m on left and 10m on my back.

As I practiced I didn't think about getting an orgasm. I was trying to practice for stronger ejaculation because my girlfriend liked me to spray it on her face and in her mouth. She told me that when she gave me a blowjob that she really got off feeling my penis pulse when I came; in other words the feeling of the cum shoot up my cock. It was an anticipation thing for her. So as I practiced I didn't focus on me coming. I worked the muscles every day for 30 minutes, for her.

About two months after I started I began to notice stronger contractions in my buttocks. Stronger than I had ever felt before; they would come randomly during the day even when I wasn't thinking about it. I kept doing them exercises and even bought a plug that I would wear during the day or around the house so I could practice with out thinking about it.

All this time I kept up normal sex with her and we both started to notice better ejaculation and better performance, but it wasn't like we were expecting a super orgasm. I didn't know what was about to happen.

(edit)

I had to edit this because I got my first superO with my wife mixed up with my ex-girlfriend. My ex had me on my back and was giving me a blow job while using her toy on me. (see my post on first superO thread). My wife and I were 69'ing when I had a superO which was breath taking. I exploded in her mouth and couldn't stop convulsing. I was filled top to bottom with an orgasm so strong that I curled my toes and pulled on her ass pushing her pussy down in to my face. It lasted for almost a minute.

After it I was drained as if every muscle in my body had let go. I was weak but refreshed. I had twitching in my hands and feet, randomly, as if some one was applying an electrical shocker to my body.

Since that day I have been able to bring myself to orgasm with out an penetration. I can cause myself to get erect and come with out ever touching my penis. I can also make myself come by anal stimulation using either a plug or a vibrator, with out touching my penis Each time I have an orgasm I convulse. I curl my toes and I roll back and forth. I arch my back and stretch.

The longest orgasm I had was five minutes (give or take a few), but usually around three minutes. I don't come during this time, this is more like an after effect. It is a different type of feeling. It is deep inside my body and then out through my toes and fingers.

I still do my exercises every day. Usually for about an hour, some times around the house watching television or playing games. Sometimes when I am walking around the neighborhood.

It takes time and I wouldn't expect it to happen in a couple of weeks. It took me longer than that to have my first one, but once you've had it you'll never forget it and you'll never want any thing less.

Stop trying to think about it. Focus on your muscles and contractions. Relax. The orgasm will come later with practice.

@kaygo I had my first superO when I was 32. I don't know why I tried it, but I wanted to do anal stimulation so I used a dildo from my girlfriend. It wasn't long, but it thicker in width. It also vibrated seven different ways. I had used Astroglide and inserted it gently while laying on my back. I practiced with my muscles the Kegel exercises for about 30 minutes every day. I would switch 10min on right, 10m on left and 10m on my back.

As I practiced I didn't think about getting an orgasm. I was trying to practice for stronger ejaculation because my girlfriend liked me to spray it on her face and in her mouth. She told me that when she gave me a blowjob that she really got off feeling my penis pulse when I came; in other words the feeling of the cum shoot up my cock. It was an anticipation thing for her. So as I practiced I didn't focus on me coming. I worked the muscles every day for 30 minutes, for her.

About two months after I started I began to notice stronger contractions in my buttocks. Stronger than I had ever felt before; they would come randomly during the day even when I wasn't thinking about it. I kept doing them exercises and even bought a plug that I would wear during the day or around the house so I could practice with out thinking about it.

All this time I kept up normal sex with her and we both started to notice better ejaculation and better performance, but it wasn't like we were expecting a super orgasm. I didn't know what was about to happen.

One day when she was 69ing with me I felt it. The superO. It just happened. I exploded in her mouth and couldn't stop convulsing. I was filled top to bottom with an orgasm so strong that I curled my toes and pulled on her ass pushing her pussy down in to my face. It lasted for almost a minute.

After it I was drained as if every muscle in my body had let go. I was weak but refreshed. I had twitching in my hands and feet, randomly, as if some one was applying an electrical shocker to my body.

Since that day I have been able to bring myself to orgasm with out an penetration. I can cause myself to get erect and come with out ever touching my penis. I can also make myself come by anal stimulation using either a plug or a vibrator, with out touching my penis Each time I have an orgasm I convulse. I curl my toes and I roll back and forth. I arch my back and stretch.

The longest orgasm I had was five minutes (give or take a few), but usually around three minutes. I don't come during this time, this is more like an after effect. It is a different type of feeling. It is deep inside my body and then out through my toes and fingers.

I still do my exercises every day. Usually for about an hour, some times around the house watching television or playing games. Sometimes when I am walking around the neighborhood.

It takes time and I wouldn't expect it to happen in a couple of weeks. It took me longer than that to have my first one, but once you've had it you'll never forget it and you'll never want any thing less.

Stop trying to think about it. Focus on your muscles and contractions. Relax. The orgasm will come later with practice.

Tell us what devices you used to help your contractions without you thinking about it? Also what contractions? Most of us do the 'do nothing' technique!?

Tell us what devices you used to help your contractions without you thinking about it? Also what contractions? Most of us do the 'do nothing' technique!?

Up until two years ago I had never used a "prostate massage device". It had always been a vibrator or sex toy from my partner. She used to go to these sex parties and would bring home things. There were so many of them over the years I can't even remember if they had names to them. My first Aneros device is the Helix Syn, but I'm already looking at other models I want to try.

My contractions are what I call "shudders". I have this quaking through out my body. I can't explain it other than it vibrates through out my body. When I have an orgasm it is usually me screaming at the top of my lungs, curling my toes, arching my back, banging my head (accidentally) against the bed post and eventually ending up like a limp doll.

I do a thing that is 'do nothing' where I don't even tighten my muscles while thinking about it. They just tighten on their own. I'm not sure if that is what you are talking about, but I've never named any of my exercises or techniques. I just did what felt good.

Kaygo, maybe don't try to do SR for so long. Maybe try a few days at first, and see how that goes. Hopefully that will be a little more manageable.

digitalbeachbum, I'd love to hear more about how your girlfriend reacted to your first Super-O. Was she aware of the exercises you were doing? Great post by the way - loved reading it.

banging my head (accidentally) against the bed post and eventually ending up like a limp doll.

Question, sometimes I'll bang my head up and down multiple times on the bed pretty hard as if I'm being possessed - is this what you experience? I don't think it's good for me but I can't control it.

Kaygo, maybe don't try to do SR for so long. Maybe try a few days at first, and see how that goes. Hopefully that will be a little more manageable.

digitalbeachbum, I'd love to hear more about how your girlfriend reacted to your first Super-O. Was she aware of the exercises you were doing? Great post by the way - loved reading it.

She knew about the exercises because she taught them to me. She had been doing them for years. She taught me the exercises because she wanted me to ejaculate more and to have a longer duration/stamina.

She was shocked at the first experience. She thought I was having a stroke.

I'm not sure if this is the same for others, but when I ejaculated it is really strong. I roll my eyes up in to my head, arch my back, curl my toes, grab the sheets type of experience. The real fun starts AFTER I ejaculate. There are "after shocks". Literally my extremities twitch. My body convulses. The after shocks continue little by little, they get shorter in duration and weaker. It is from my center of the body, out to my fingers and toes.

The longer my delay in having sex seems to be the key to the experience. If I have sex every day the experience is meh. If I take two weeks then I have a stronger experience.

Question, sometimes I'll bang my head up and down multiple times on the bed pretty hard as if I'm being possessed - is this what you experience? I don't think it's good for me but I can't control it.

I've learned to put a bunch of pillows behind me. I lay flat but the pillows are wedged in a way which prevents me from hitting the wall or headboard. Our wall has damage from the headboard from our sexual encounters.

Yes, possessed, haha.

The derail is strong in this thread. Can I masturbate while trying to find a Super O or not? Maybe in two sentences or less?

The derail is strong in this thread. Can I masturbate while trying to find a Super O or not? Maybe in two sentences or less?

Point number 1 from: http://wiki.malegspot.com/index.php?title=Getting_Started#Things_to_avoid

That probably answers your question.

From your first post: " 'Oh, but you felt something, I wouldn't call that a failure.' Well I do. "
You shouldn't. Don't be too hard on yourself. This isn't some sort of goal oriented task to be solved and then to move on to the next task. Take time to enjoy your victories, no matter how small.

The derail is strong in this thread. Can I masturbate while trying to find a Super O or not? Maybe in two sentences or less?

NO, you are not yet ready for this journey!

NO, you are not yet ready for this journey!

Not neccessarily disagreeing, but could you please elaborate?
Why specifically is he not ready for this journey?

Being able to know why one is not ready, might allow one to start thinking about ways in which they need to change, so that in the (near?) future they would become progressively ready for the journey.

I'd rather not take sides on this one. But one thing that comes to mind is that male sexuality involves a whole range of feelings, both emotional and physical. Every guy has a different sexual make-up and it doesn't seem "fair" to lump all of us together. This to me would also include use of Aneros. If @kaygo has his own set pattern for now regarding sessions combined with MB, are we to discourage him? I think not. After all, all of us need to ejaculate periodically. It's how we're made. Even if we practice extreme SR and/or chastity (like I am trying right now), our bodies will direct us otherwise. We will either have wet dreams, or get so horny that we just need a release. Maybe @kaygo is on a different pathway right now. That is not to suggest that he may never get on the "right" Aneros path that leads to the Super-O! PS I know that cranky, irritable feeling when I am denied a release, even if it is self-imposed!

Point number 1 from: http://wiki.malegspot.com/index.php?title=Getting_Started#Things_to_avoid

That probably answers your question.

I mean, I know not to touch myself during a session, I'm talking about at the end of four-to-six hours. The cool-down after a workout.

I mean, I know not to touch myself during a session, I'm talking about at the end of four-to-six hours. The cool-down after a workout.

I'd say 4 to 6 hours of Aneros use is a bit extreme, if it is active voluntary contractions.

But I also don't remember reading any posts or wiki pages that said that you couldn't jack off after a session, as long as you removed the Aneros.
So I'd say it's quite likely OK to do that.

You may want to wait for more replies from others about it, of course, but for me personally, I wouldn't let it worry me, and would have just removed the Aneros, washed it, put it away and then jack off to traditional orgasm.

The derail is strong in this thread. Can I masturbate while trying to find a Super O or not? Maybe in two sentences or less?

In the short response, the two aren't related, but can overlap giving a more enjoyable orgasm.

I don't like the term super O. I find it misleading and as I read through these posts of guys not able to reach it, I see it is because of confusion.

I wait at least an hour after a session before I masturbate with or without ejaculation...helps my mind separate the two arousal mechanisms.

I think something everyone can agree on is that the biggest hurdles on this journey are mental. If abstaining is making you miserable, then don't do it.

I haven't been abstaining at all, because the few times I tried it, I couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling of needing to empty the pipes. Ejaculation became a pressing need, and the focus of my sessions, which is barking up the wrong tree entirely.
I think what each person gets from abstaining is different anyway. There are a million other variables aside from feeling backed-up and needy.

Does masturbation synergise well with the whole "don't expect to get anything out of a session, suspend all expectations" philosophy?

Yeah it totally can. What I do is masturbate at the end of the session. That way I can take ejaculation off the list of things I want from the aneros. I have no unmet needs... I can let the aneros do what ever it does, without trying for force (or steer it towards) any particular outcome. It also helps to see traditional masturbation and aneros sessions as different things, that satisfy their own needs.

Maybe abstaining isn't right for you at this point in time, you can always try it some other time.
Nobody has a proven formula for this, it's all just anecdotal. Trying different things at different stages of rewiring can have different results, it's all about experimenting and finding what ever it is you need to get from A to B.

I think something everyone can agree on is that the biggest hurdles on this journey are mental. If abstaining is making you miserable, then don't do it.

I haven't been abstaining at all, because the few times I tried it, I couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling of needing to empty the pipes. Ejaculation became a pressing need, and the focus of my sessions, which is barking up the wrong tree entirely.
I think what each person gets from abstaining is different anyway. There are a million other variables aside from feeling backed-up and needy.

Yeah it totally can. What I do is masturbate at the end of the session. That way I can take ejaculation off the list of things I want from the aneros. I have no unmet needs... I can let the aneros do what ever it does, without trying for force (or steer it towards) any particular outcome. It also helps to see traditional masturbation and aneros sessions as different things, that satisfy their own needs.

Maybe abstaining isn't right for you at this point in time, you can always try it some other time.
Nobody has a proven formula for this, it's all just anecdotal. Trying different things at different stages of rewiring can have different results, it's all about experimenting and finding what ever it is you need to get from A to B.

Abstaining, in my opinion, makes every thing even better. The longer you wait, the better, with not doing it at all the best. However, every one is different.
I'm going to post a longer post on the "share your experience" thread.

Before the "re-wire" process started, the full hard boners during the day when abstaining usually just felt frustrating and physically painful.
Now I usually have softer/semi-hard but engorged hot penis + a buzzing sore prostate + automatic pelvic floor muscle contraction, and that is enjoyable.
Masturbation to ejaculation, especially with stimulation to the penis head, does kill the enjoyable feeling and turns Aneros sessions dull for several days.