Hey guys! A few questions..

Hey @_Retro,

I've been at this point too, so maybe I can share some wisdom.

Does anyone have any tips for just letting go?

Understanding this took me a while, but I came up with a simple explanation just recently which makes a lot of sense imho. What you need to let go is fall into TRANCE. Unfortunately this is an overloaded term. What I mean is a certain working-state of your brain - the alpha waves. You'll find a good explanations when you read about hypnosis but I'll give you a short briefing: It's the state where your mind and body are relaxed and your mind starts to wander - not completely shut down but in the background, silently observing. It's a very normal state you experience multiple times a day: when you fall asleep and you slip into the REM-phase, when you drive a car and become suddenly aware that you have no memory of the last 10 minutes although you drove (and are still on the road w/o an accident), when you daydream.... Your brain activity is reduced to form of reduced-capability-auto-pilot: a lot of your inbuild filters shut off, so decisionmaking gets harder and slower and more gut instinct-wise. In contrast: normal brain activity is in the beta-wave spectrum - your subconciousness does a lot of filtering so your conciousness isn't bothered too much and can make the important decisions.

There are some common tools to fall into trance, which were discussed here in the forum over time, but were never put into context. They are: hypnosis, bineraul beats and meditation. Try them out and see what works best for you. You don't have to rely on those tools, but just make the experience what trance is like and how you get there.

So far I've never been able to orgasm at all from the aneros, and although I feel like I'm right there, it seems as if something is missing.

Yep, been there. Don't dig into this feeling that something is missing. Let go. Let go of expectations what might be or what you aim for to build up. Focus on what is, and maybe you'll recognize that your were orgasming already w/o noticing. You are used to orgasms with a peak, so you wait for something like this, that's the pitfall. Orgasm is a sum of a lot of things, and anerosing means to assemble the parts in new way. Stop comparing and waiting for something you already know. What you are about to feel is something completely different. There is a reason why tantrists/taoists and such saw this stuff as a tool for enlightenment - because it feels just as spiritual as it feels sexual.

I've tried holding a low contraction through involuntaries, but eventually they seem to become voluntary involuntaries (if that makes sense), and I lose feeling.

That makes absolutely sense. To me this is daily business - no need to worry! There are different stages of involuntaries. Some seem to have their own mind (mostly on the high end of pleasure) and some seem to be more like [URL="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newton's_cradle"]newton's craddle[/URL]: you have to give it a push before it starts moving on it's own.

Is there a method I should be focusing on?

No, try them all and stick the the ones you like. Lot's of dudes came up with the foolproof method... in the end, it was mostly just foolproof for them.

What I think is the key skill, is to gain control over your nervous system. Taoists have a proverb: "Where the mind goes, the chi follows." That that means is, that you can actually generate nerval sensations by mental focus alone. The next step is to generate waves of these sensations and interpret them in a sexual way - and voilá: pleasure waves. The best traineeship I know for this is KSMO. There are dozens of threads about this already, so I won't go into detail. Second best is a rigorous kegel workout over several weeks. This way you build up sensory awareness and precise control. For me, this was the major breakthrough.

The Aneros is often called a tantric training wheel, because it stimulates those pleasure waves from the outside. When you get used to them and know how they feel, you'll eventually won't need the aneros anymore (it's still fun riding though).

Sorry for the long answer, but you reminded me so much of myself (in the past), so I felt obligated.

Cheers, Unfug

I like music. I recently listened to future sound of london lifeforms and papa new Guinea. Find music you can get lost in. That has surprises. I tried hypnosis and binaural beats and maybe felt some stuff, but just closing my eyes and relaxing helps. I am no pro, but really think iam getting the hang of it

_retro,

It seems to me you are searching for a physical regime to deal with a psychological issue, this is not likely to work. The Aneros journey is primarily a mental one. @Unfug has given you some excellent thoughts and advice. I'd like to point you to 'SteelColdiron's thread Aneros: The Essential Mind State and repeat what I said there. Thinking that your mechanical approach/technique is the primary reason for not achieving the successes you desire may be a false assumption, there are numerous factors which create obstacles to one's progress. A quick read of Identifying Obstacles to Progress may be of some help. After which, reading through Identifying Facilitators to Progress may give you some additional ideas for altering your present approach to an Anerosession.
I believe you are essentially on a good path but may be putting too much emphasis on a physical technique when there may be subconscious desires not being addressed which are every bit, if not more so, as important.

Thanks everyone! I'll read through those posts you mentioned, rumel.

As for binaural beats and hypnosis, I've tried them a lot in the past but they usually seem to get in the way rather than help me. I just don't know how to stop thinking so much 😛

I'll give it another go tonight with beats and see how that turns out. Thanks again!