Guidance required please

@Marco_Polo I think it would be beneficial to our "experts" if you could elaborate on your past prostate issue(s). Also, if you can share, I am curious how often you ejaculate? Do you ever practice semen retention to build more arousal?

Prostatitis. I recently reduced to very rarely which increases chances of traditional HFO when using... I thought if edged much it would lead to more of the traditional HFO instead of the longer lasting more fun sounding type.

I have read these forums for advise but I am struggling to get what a lot of people describe on here.

When you say "...struggling to get..." are you having difficulty understanding the concepts and techniques described here or are you frustrated from not obtaining the sensations others have described? These are quite separate issues.

Some good reactions and a couple of times lately have had traditional HFOs but that isn't really the end goal.

What is your end goal then? By HFO I presume you are referring to a Hands Free Wet Orgasm (an ejaculation) rather than a Hands Free Dry Orgasm (this is more typical of an Aneros induced prostate orgasm). You may be able to reduce incidences of HFWO's by learning to thoroughly relax (Please see @darwin's post relax, relax, RELAX).

I follow advise here and lie on side or back and try contracting and relaxing... although sometimes get bored and watch something to get in the mood instead.

If the more common body positions are not working for you, try experimenting with some more novel ones as suggested in the Aneros WIKI (see Body Positions). IMHO, it is important to be highly aroused (please see https://community.aneros.com/community/general-discussion/are-you-arouse d">Are you "aroused"?) before you begin an Anerosession. Your Aneros massagers act better as arousal amplifiers than they do as arousal generators.

I do kegals as exercise during the day. I have suffered from prostate issues in the past so wonder if that might be an issue.

Doing the kegel exercises is definitely a good practice and something you should continue doing. I am not a doctor but if the regular prostate massage you have been practicing is not relieving your prostatitis issues then you may have a chronic prostate problem which should be diagnosed and treated by a doctor.

Just looking for advise and recommendations about the whole process to help me get there please..thanks.

And just where is "...there..." for you? The Aneros journey is not to any specific destination but is rather an ongoing process of unfolding understanding with multiple episodes of intense sensation during the process. These episodes may include HFWO's, HFDO's, Super-T's and Super-O's and none of those is really a destination in itself, they are transitory events in the journey. Good Vibes to You !

Thanks for the reply and info.. will have a read now.

I understand the concepts.. and feel like I am on the brink quite a lot.. with nice sensations.. but unable to take it to the next level or I just end with a HFWO if long enough (2+ hours). While they are nice I have read about the possibility of much more. I am sure the increased kegals lately have improved this and I now get subtle nice sensations and arousal sometimes from just the kegals.

I find if I try and relax too much then I probably do not get anywhere or I fall asleep, which suggests there may be an issue for me with both trying to relax and get aroused at the same time. I will try more positions, I occasionally do but have not had much luck so tend to stick to the ones recommended on here for beginners.

I have been diagnosed and treated for prostatitis but feeling better now. I actually found this site over a year ago while googling for exercises.

The "there" for me would be the "multiple episodes of intense sensation during the process". Yes please 😀 I am not expecting an over night success but had hoped for more progress than I have had in over a year.

Can anyone recommend free audio or video guided sessions? I have tried a few but none have helped much.

I have noticed some definite improvement lately with increased kegals and not ejaculating. During the day (aless) it feels like the whole area is glowing .. I have very pleasant but fairly light sensations that come and go and I have some control over. Sadly I am still not able to go much further with them.

If contractions start around the PC and penis area during a session is that the start of a HFWO? if so how can this be avoided?

If contractions start around the PC and penis area during a session is that the start of a HFWO? if so how can this be avoided?

Maybe Yes, maybe No, involuntary contractions are part of orgasms, depending upon how strong they become they may lead into ejaculation. One way to reduce the ejaculatory reflex is learning to relax those same muscles when they start to spasm. This is tricky to accomplish because you don't want to totally suppress this muscle action and yet you want to decrease the intra-muscular tension which fuels increasingly stronger contractions. It is a balancing act, akin to edging.
Good Vibes to You !

Thank you Rumel, that is encouraging to hear... and very useful. I backed off because I did not want to HFWO but sounds like I need to allow contractions but in a relaxed fashion, does that sound right?

I was starting to get disheartened as it's been over a year now on and off with little results but I have had some progress lately and I put it down to two things. Refraining from ejaculation (as much as I can at least!) and kegals. I have noticed a very nice "feeling" down there especially sometimes when sitting and lying down. Yesterday it actually grew into small vibrations after doing a big set of kegals. I believe this is what I have read about on this forum, but on a small scale. Oddly, although sometimes pleasurable.. I have not noticed the vibrations while using Aneros but now feel confident it will come in time.

Anyone else have similar experiences starting out?
Does it sound like I am on the right track?
Appreciate your thoughts..

Thanks

If contractions start around the PC and penis area during a session is that the start of a HFWO? if so how can this be avoided?

I experience this type of clenching during my sessions, and it's never lead to a HFWO. Is is really distracting and usually stops my upward progress to dry-O. I have been trying to relax those muscle groups when it starts to occur, but am not always successful at doing so. Usually this clenching occurs when I am really hard.

I am wondering if anyone has had similar issues and can help. A lot of the time sessions seem to start good but when I try and really relax things die down and eventually I fall asleep while inserted. The next day I notice a very mild nice feeling around the prostate which intensifies when clenching, almost like a fluttering. But that's it.

I also found Kegels to help move along the journey - that was key to manually starting contractions and then after that they would start on their own. I picture like those old WWI aircraft, where you hand crank the prop and hope it keeps spinning. At first it was lots of manual cracks and little sustained flutters... the better I got at kegles, the longer the “propeller would spin”.

now a days, I barely crank the prop and it just goes! Lol. Some sessions, I don’t even have to hand crank the prop. Aneros goes in I relax and it’s off to the races... it sounds easy, but it took work and experimenting... so hang in there!

the other thing that helped was putting about 50% manual contraction on the Aneros.... that kind of got it taught / bouncy and primed to involuntarily move (that and 5ml astroglide)... I think of the 50% tension like a rubber band or guitar strap no... it can’t dance/sing if unflexed and too tight it can’t dance enough (or you break the string/band).

slow pelvic thrusts also help to build involuntaries. back and forth enjoying the feel of the Aneros as it slides a bit. Nowadays if Nothing starts on its own, that can get it going.

Size: i find the eupho moves better than the helix, but the helix has more intense sensations. So you might need to get the right “fit”

prior to kegle work I was getting some buzzing or vibrations... so I think it’s good you have it occurring.

as to relaxing... yes I’ve dozed off at times. About a month ago I found “women having sex” tracks on SoundCloud helps me stay “in the zone”. I also like Binural hands free beats - not for an attempt at hands free orgasm... but for the rhythmic sounds it helps because it reminds me of sex (and many have women moaning in the background)

i know now the general concept is “be aroused” at the start... that doesn’t always happen for me... so sometimes I have to let it come to me... (the SoundCloud recordings of sex and binaural beats are good for that)

i dont always need the audio... but it can help.

I hope that helps!

Thank you for the feedback everyone, really appreciate it....such a nice community here 😀

I usually use a smallish shooter 1/4 to 1/2 full of yes organic oil lube and then yes organic water based on the aneros. One thing I have never done is a "rinse" before. I now own vice, eupho and helix syn and helix trident.. Still just at the subtle nice feelings stage, feels a bit like edging but over a year and little progress.

Sounds like I need to do more kegals and mediation daily.. in and out of sessions... which are two habits I should be doing anyway so good motivation.

I noticed after a week of SR that during a BM I had precum leakage for first time. I thought along with the growing sensations and feeling of fullness that I may be getting somewhere but that evening I did not make much progress and no more leakage. It got me thinking afterwards that I rarely push when I am using aneros, I try occasionally but never had any luck. I remember someone calling them reverse kegals and saying they were helpful in the journey. Do you alternate between them? Like push / pull?

Do you alternate between them? Like push / pull?

I've tried pushing a few times, but find it kind of unsatisfying and strenuous.

When I need to trigger the involuntariness manually I tighten the PFM (pelvic floor muscles / PC muscles) about "50%" AND THEN tighten another muscle that sort of pulls the the anus "in" (don't know what its called, but about 50% also). That SECOND muscle gets the flutter motion started for me.

If I Aneros too often, I'm always having to manually start them.. but If I "starve myself" (a week between sessions), I don't have to do anything other than hold the pillow to my face to muffle myself as it just does things on its own - lol.

I also do Kegles... i found a great iOS app this week called mk (search on Kegle and look for the MyKegel app).. that app A) schedules your exercises, B) tells you what to do and you can build custom routines as well... I;m sure there are similar apps for Android.

@HereByAccident - The second muscle you mention sounds like the anal muscle right? I do similar, they work well together.

I have 2 android apps but have got a bit lax lately.. need to stick to the regime.

Had some progress with the helix trident last night, bit tired today :rolleyes:

It got very pleasurable and I assume they were "p-waves" as it felt similar to the PONR (maybe not quite as intense) a few times and I wanted more but despite reading hours of advise I still do not know how to progress it so as always I try to "relax" more which I am told is key and like usual end up waking up the next morning... Still it felt like progress..

Yes, I would say the second muscle is definitely anal or very anal related.

The muscle “wave” or “rolling effect” is pretty much automatic for me now... it’s like Front-back-front-back over and over... to get things warmed up. I can do it pretty much subconsciously.

Early on I tend to only “twitch” the PC to get the feelings going - sometimes that’s all I need. (I try to do the minimum)

if not then I start the rolling wave thing.

if that doesn’t trigger things I can usually apply additional strength to the anal / back muscle.

if that doesn’t work... I usually take it as a sign my body doesn’t want it 🙂

What sort of time frame are we talking on front back front back? is it at 50% ?

I’m curious about your relaxation. I find that typical “do nothing” relaxation either puts me to sleep or just kills my sensations. On the other hand, “focused relaxation” is sometimes needed for me break through plateaus in my sessions.

I do it a few different ways. Early in the session I focus on my lungs and diaphragm, and try to sense any unnecessary tension. If I’m trying too hard to breath deeply, tension often forms. Stretching my psoas muscle is sometimes necessary because I sit at work throughout the day. Anyways, if I find tension, I try to slowly melt it through relaxing my muscles, especially on the exhale. Making a little “ahhh” sound on the exhale helps sometimes.

Depending on the sessions, I go through some other steps like kegeling to prime my prostate pump, or breathing exercises for a while to oxygenate myself. Once I’m ready to start settling into the tingles in my lower region, I do another round of active relaxation. This time, I try to scan for then melt all the tension in my limbs and chest. Imagining they’re sinking through the floor is helpful sometimes. As this deep bodily relaxation proceeds, I focus completely on genitals and savor any sensations there. Usually a little sensation will suddenly grow into a big wave of pleasure and I feel like my limbs really did sink and melt away and I feel pulled downward like my prostate is exerting a gravitational pull on my consciousness. From that point I lose conscious awareness of my limbs and I can say I’m totally relaxed. This is all contraction free, and Aless.

I’m still experimenting with the right balance of relaxation and contraction during Aneros play. I’ve had some luck rotating between like 10-20% anal contracting and full relaxation (even a little reverse kegel push at times). While voluntarily contracting I find it helpful to scan other muscles and make sure I’m not tensing them unnecessarily.

I think it’s mostly trial and error, but I hope that gives you an extra perspective on what relax can mean.

@Marco_Polo its very quick - like a wave / wobble from one into the other .. a heartbeat might me a good example... if a heartbeat’s cycle can be described as a repeating “Lub-dub” then my front (lub)-back(dub) is very similar.

the tempo is about the pace of the song with the lyrics “Pump up the Jams”

This was not something I could do immediately- it took a few weeks - I didn’t have that as a goal or anything. But I discovered I could do it after doing Kegles for a few weeks.

Hope that helps!

@RidingWaves11 you raise a good point, I think I need to work on relaxation in general and I wonder how many of us struggle to progress because of this. While sometimes I think I am relaxed, maybe I am not as relaxed as others, or in a different way. You have encouraged me to persevere with meditation in general. I will try focused relaxation, it sounds like some of the advice from the headspace app.

@HereByAccident Pump up the jams - great description, love it. Maybe I should put it on next time.

It does help thanks, all great advice. What % do you do this at roughly?

@Marco_Polo I’d say the percent is from 10% to 50%

But once the involuntaries begin I can’t tell anymore - it just starts doing its own thing!

hope that helps! Good luck!

Last night I got to a point where it seemed like I had locked on to something, it did not last long but I could feel the aneros locking and I was able to move it like i had perfect control and whatever it was locked against could feel everything and position it perfectly, like I was holding the muscle(s) and / or prostate in a handshake and could pick exactly what spot I wanted with the slightest of movements.. and it was easy to roll around it, then it was gone. Also at times very much felt like I was holding my penis but I wasn't.

Is this the elusive tug of war I have heard about? The pleasure certainly went up a notch and I started getting involuntaries. Whatever it was... it was great.

@Marco_Polo I wonder if the sensation you are describing is that your prostate may be “waking up” and or your PC muscles and perenium getting warmed up... I remember at some point I hit that phase where “oh yeah, that’s touching all the right places”! When you feel that... try gentle, slow pelvic motions... just roll your pelvis forward and back - slowly... then, not only is it touching the right place but the Aneros is sliding over the right place - that can sometimes (no guarantees!) trigger arrousal and even start a series of O’s for me.

It doesn’t really feel like a tug of war to me... I think the “tug of war” terminology you’ve seen is more related to what gets the involuntaries going.

Is this the elusive tug of war I have heard about? The pleasure certainly went up a notch and I started getting involuntaries.

The experience may have seemed like that but the 'tug of war' is a practice technique described in @CaveOfMystery 's thread Quick and Dirty Path to the Super-O. I think what you have described are elements identified in the Aneros WIKI under the Milestones section :

Good Vibes to You !

Thank you for the responses, last night was a revelation and after nearly 2 years of little progress I am so excited. I had parts where like before this session I was thinking ok I have hit the spot and this feels great but last night was the best yet.. and yes I realised that whilst the contractions set it off, relaxing made it even better. So I would try clench and roll, clench and roll, pc and anal then nothing, each time I relaxed after I got in-voluntaries and more pleasure. Then the more I relaxed and did nothing, the better it felt. Like a subtle sweet feeling I had to nurture, like a flame I could snuff out with too much clenching. Just wow....finally. I believe!

The bit I am really amazed and slightly confused about is that few seconds of connection, not pleasure or clamping exactly. Out of the bullet points I would say:

• Ability to maneuver the Aneros to control placement of pleasure internally

But this was not a slowly changing ability to maneuver.. it was like complete control for a few seconds with no idea how I got there, then it was gone. The best way I can descirbe it is put your hand over your other fist, then slide it in any direction so it is covering the top or any 4 sides with perfect precision and intense feeling. That is how it felt and it was crazy good... then gone.

Is this something other people got when they started?

I am so excited by all this.

... after nearly 2 years of little progress I am so excited....but last night was the best yet.. and yes I realised that whilst the contractions set it off, relaxing made it even better. So I would try clench and roll, clench and roll, pc and anal then nothing, each time I relaxed after I got in-voluntaries and more pleasure. Then the more I relaxed and did nothing, the better it felt. Like a subtle sweet feeling I had to nurture, like a flame I could snuff out with too much clenching. Just wow....finally. I believe!

You have arrived in the Super-O zone. I know the feelings you are trying to express despite the ineffable nature of the experience. Our verbal/written language can't adequately describe the sensual language each of our bodies employs to communicate within itself but when you get into the right mental state, attuned to your body, you intuitively know and understand this is where joy and bliss reside, words simply fail.

The bit I am really amazed and slightly confused about is that few seconds of connection, ... Is this something other people got when they started? I am so excited by all this.

As you become more experienced those few seconds will geometrically expand into minutes, though you may lose all perspective on the actual time elapsed.From the Aneros WIKI Milestones :

It is important to note that each journey is a unique and personal experience. All of these milestones may not apply to everyone. Some men may whip right through them without realizing what they are, while others will skip many of them altogether. Every man’s pace with this is different; some will accelerate and then plateau, while others will move slowly through them savoring each achievement. Regardless, the journey is well worth it. Again, everyone’s experience is unique,...

Please don't fall into the traps of comparing your experience to others or over analyzing the experience itself. There are numerous paradoxes in this learning journey and it is the mystery of these paradoxes which help keep our arousal bolstered leading to even deeper enlightenment as the journey continues to unfold.
Good Vibes to You !

Something new happened last night, I was aware of a different feeling that didn't seem to exist in a particular place and hard to describe. I tried to focus on it but not not control it just be aware.. as I did certain parts of me felt like they were shaking slightly. It was really weird but nice. Then it went as quick as it came...

I wonder how I get more of it.. 😉